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-   -   would Jesus have been good at poker? (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=531223)

rpr 10-25-2007 04:05 PM

Re: would Jesus have been good at poker?
 
It is from the Gospel of Thomas, not in the Bible. Supposedly the only direct quotes from Jesus. All weird mystical stuff, like Kabbalistic or gnostic.

F. McSimmons 10-25-2007 04:07 PM

Re: would Jesus have been good at poker?
 
[ QUOTE ]
Sorry but Jesus never said anything like that.

[/ QUOTE ]
Have you seen Zeitgeist?

Passaman 10-25-2007 04:14 PM

Re: would Jesus have been good at poker?
 
lol at "The Gospel of Thomas". Written a 150 years after Jesus, as opposed to the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, written by Jesus' contemporaries, none later than 65 AD. Some gnostic group put it out as the "secret" sayings of Jesus, 'cause they were into secret stuff. They thought it was cool.

eviljeff 10-25-2007 04:14 PM

Re: would Jesus have been good at poker?
 
some of you are pretty pro New Testamentors, so what say you?

like Jesus had a sick read on Judas, but bluff-call stacked off anyway amiright. then he rebought only to leave the table and be blinded away.

Passaman 10-25-2007 04:16 PM

Re: would Jesus have been good at poker?
 
[ QUOTE ]
some of you are pretty pro New Testamentors, so what say you?

like Jesus had a sick read on Judas, but bluff-call stacked off anyway amiright. then he rebought only to leave the table and be blinded away.

[/ QUOTE ]

Judas went south with a 30 piece of silver effective stack. Jesus read his soul.

yourface 10-25-2007 04:18 PM

Re: would Jesus have been good at poker?
 
[ QUOTE ]
but I think he's talking about merging hand ranges here.

[/ QUOTE ]

eviljeff 10-25-2007 04:19 PM

Re: would Jesus have been good at poker?
 
also, what about Barabbas' sick angle-shoot?

rhizome 10-25-2007 04:24 PM

Re: would Jesus have been good at poker?
 
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines

He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool

If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool

He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool

He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heaven
I mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool

No wonder there are so many Christians

Jesus Was Way Cool

Mike Kelley 10-25-2007 04:24 PM

Re: would Jesus have been good at poker?
 
[ QUOTE ]
also, what about Barabbas' sick angle-shoot?

[/ QUOTE ]

Pretty good picture for all of us that escape judgement.

Passaman 10-25-2007 04:27 PM

Re: would Jesus have been good at poker?
 
If I Was Jesus, I'd have some real long hair
A robe and some sandals, is exactly what I'd wear
I'd be the guy at the party, turnin' water to wine
Yeah me and my disciples, we'd have a real good time.

Ooh and I'd lay my life down for you (woooooh)
And I show you who's the boss (woooooh)
I'd forgive you and adore you
While I was hangin' on your cross
If I Was Jesus.

I'd have some friends that were poor
I'd run around with the wrong crowd, man I'd never be bored
Then I'd heal me a blind man, get myself crucified
By politicians and preachers, who got somethin' to hide.

Ooh and I'd lay my life down for you (woooooh)
And I show you who's the boss (woooooh)
I'd forgive you and adore you
While I was hangin' on your cross
If I Was Jesus.

If I Was Jesus, I'd come back from the dead
And I'd walk on some water, just to mess with your head
I know your dark little secrets, I'd look you right in the face
And I'd tell you I love you, with Amazing Grace.

Ooh and I'd lay my life down for you (woooooh)
And I show you who's the boss (woooooh)
I'd forgive you and adore you
While I was hangin' on your cross
If I Was Jesus.

If I Was Jesus.


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