Two Plus Two Newer Archives - memories: trainwrecking pregnancy forum

first to keep this thread legal, i give to you the hand that gave me my very first flipament victory.

PokerStars Game #11353457566: Tournament #57599645, $20+$2 Hold'em No Limit - Match Round IV, Level I (80/160) - 2007/08/07 - 01:33:57 (ET)
Table '57599645 1' 2-max Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: ifoundnemo23 (12000 in chips)
Seat 2: Friediop (12000 in chips)
ifoundnemo23: posts small blind 80
Friediop: posts big blind 160
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to ifoundnemo23 [6d 8s]
ifoundnemo23: raises 11840 to 12000 and is all-in
Friediop: calls 11840 and is all-in
*** FLOP *** [9d Th 4c]
ifoundnemo23 said, "i obv lose here"
ifoundnemo23 said, "yep"
*** TURN *** [9d Th 4c] [7d]
*** RIVER *** [9d Th 4c 7d] [Ah]
ifoundnemo23 said, "BOOM!@"
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Friediop: shows [Td 2d] (a pair of Tens)
ifoundnemo23: shows [6d 8s] (a straight, Six to Ten)
ifoundnemo23 said, "7 from heaven!"
ifoundnemo23 collected 24000 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 24000 | Rake 0
Board [9d Th 4c 7d Ah]
Seat 1: ifoundnemo23 (button) (small blind) showed [6d 8s] and won (24000) with a straight, Six to Ten
Seat 2: Friediop (big blind) showed [Td 2d] and lost with a pair of Tens

lol flipaments

anyway, i was reading the choo choo thread when i saw imsakidd for whatever reason discussing trainwrecking a pregnancy forum when i remembered an instance back in my sophomore year of high school. i had just transferred there and i got the absolute crappiest of the crap electives: computer applications. basically you sit and type for 50 minutes.

i hated the teacher, and the teacher hated me, nonetheless i still got an A in the class. she'd assign us these stupid ass assignments on how to use word that's supposed to take 3 days to complete. i finish it in 15 minutes. i then go on the internet or be "completely disruptive" with my equally bored friend.

basically the class would go like this:

bell rings "ok class, do this today" everyone works, she sits at her desk being fat. from time to time she'd take me out of the room and yell at me.

she had just gotten married and one day she left the class to go downstairs and i quickly went onto her computer and checked her browser history and noticed she was on a pregnancy forum. so i found her user name, left her comp and went back to mine.

i browsed the site and found that all of her posts were starting threads about how she couldn't conceive and how she graphically described positions and what have you. [censored] that would be really embarrassing if it was made public and her name were associated with it.

so what do i do?

obv i link everyone in the class to this forum and tell everyone which sn is hers and we all now know about her dealings. obv she has no clue.

example of a thread:

"we were having our honeymoon when xxxx (husband) made love to me on our kitchen counter. i tried to get on top and go from behind when he finally came in me. we would do this for the rest of the vacation but unfortunately i didn't get pregnant" only more descriptive (hey, it was 7 years ago)

like, this was truly disgusting. the teacher was in her 40s, about 6'1", weighed between 300 lbs and 2 tons, and had a head shaped like an emergency cone.

every week i would print out her new threads and pass them amongst the students. soon they gave them to students in her other classes so all 7 of her classes knew about this. i remember in PE once someone from her 1st period class asked me "dude, did you hear about xxxx trying doggy-style?!" we'd laugh.

finally after about 2 months of her repeated inability to conceive a heifer, i decided to trainwreck her once and for all.

i registered for the forum, and used my real name as my sn so she'd know it was me (i really really wanted her to know).

my thread:

title: "all of your students have read this, mrs. xxxx"

body: "we've known about this and laughed at you behind your back for a while now. how does it feel to know i'd probably accidentally impregnate 20 girls before you have your first kid?"

of course the rest of her sterile cattle herd came to rescue her in the forum.

the next morning i was called in to the vice-principal's office and i saw on his desk my post printed out.

after a long discussion he decided that since there were 6 weeks left in the school year and my teacher refused to have me in her class, he was just gonna remove me from the class and my final grade would be the grade i had as of that day (an A). she would transfer out of the school at the end of the year (no big loss, she was only there for 1 year anyway)

cliff notes: [censored] you, you aren't getting any