To soon to meet the family????
 

So about a month an a half ago I started dating this girl.

Cute, fun, sexy... total girlfriend material but we really haven't had that "talk" yet.

About 3 weeks ago I had mentioned in passing that my parents were going to be out of town for Thanksgiving and that was the end of the conversation.

Last week she mentions that she was talking to her mom and somehow I got invited to Thanksgiving.

To soon... this girl is crazy for wanting me to come meet her family? I'm being gay and should go have a good time?


FWIW... I'm a little weirded out about entering the total "boyfriend" zone because I'm still close friends with my last two girlfriends. Nothing physical... but my buddies do think it's a little weird that I'm still so close with the ex's.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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So about a month an a half ago I started dating this girl.

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Way, way too soon.

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About 3 weeks ago I had mentioned in passing that my parents were going to be out of town for Thanksgiving

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Bad, very bad. Learn to think like a girl before you open your mouth. Seriously.

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Last week she mentions that she was talking to her mom and somehow I got invited to Thanksgiving.

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Inevitable.

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I'm being gay and should go have a good time?

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You will NOT have a good time. RUN!

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

I don't get this. If you like her, and you have a modicum of social grace, go. If you don't like her, or you don't like her in "that way", or you know that you can't control your flatulence at the dinner table, don't go. Enough with the games.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

It could go either way, but my first reaction was...

[ QUOTE ]
So about a month an a half ago I started dating this girl.

Cute, fun, sexy... total girlfriend material but we really haven't had that "talk" yet.

About 3 weeks ago I had mentioned in passing that my parents were going to be out of town for Thanksgiving and that was the end of the conversation.

Last week she mentions that she was talking to her mom and somehow I got invited to Thanksgiving.

To soon... this girl is crazy for wanting me to come meet her family? I'm being gay and should go have a good time?


FWIW... I'm a little weirded out about entering the total "boyfriend" zone because I'm still close friends with my last two girlfriends. Nothing physical... but my buddies do think it's a little weird that I'm still so close with the ex's.

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Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

You're overanalyzing the situation.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

Good bolding there, micro. You [censored] yourself on this one, OP. You should definitely NOT casually mention that you won't be having thanksgiving with your parents to a girl you've just started dating. I know it seems like an innocuous bit of conversation, but the potential problems are obviously huge. If she likes you at all and is interested in you being a boyfriend, she'll invite you over. Anything else would be "insensitive". This obv wouldn't be a problem if it's just one of your buddies. At this point, you need a graceful way out of this, like cold calling your grandparents and insisting they have you over for thanksgiving. Otherwise go to thanksgiving with this girl. Otherwise you might as well consider the relationship done.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

Just bring the mom and daughter on one of those plane rides, a kinky and incestuous 3way is bound to ensue.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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If she likes you at all and is interested in you being a boyfriend, she'll invite you over. Anything else would be "insensitive".

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QFT.

What is she supposed to do? Obviously the correct thing here as for her to invite you.

"So my parents are going to be gone for thanksgiving and I'm going to be alone...."

"sucks to be you. I'm going to be having fun with my family."

"yeah......."

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

you're being as gay as you can be while dating a girl

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

Just go. Maybe a day with her family will be a bunch of boozing, football watching awesomness. Of course, they're going to probably see you as "the new BOY", but nothing you can do about that. It's not like you'll ever see them again if it doesn't go well.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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Just go. Maybe a day with her family will be a bunch of boozing, football watching awesomness. Of course, they're going to probably see you as "the new BOY", but nothing you can do about that. It's not like you'll ever see them again if it doesn't go well.

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booze and football... SOLD

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

you do realize her mom probably convinced her to invite you and she is probably having this same debate with her friends now talking with them about how its so soon, but she felt bad and her mom pressured her into inviting you.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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you do realize her mom probably convinced her to invite you and she is probably having this same debate with her friends now talking with them about how its so soon, but she felt bad and her mom pressured her into inviting you.

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yes.

It's probably not optimal that you got asked, but at this point you have to go and it won't even be that bad.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

sit her down and ask her where this relationship is going...you know you wannaaaaaaa. It'll be fun!

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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you're being as gay as you can be while dating a girl

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Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

It really depends. For some people meeting the family is a big deal. Others bring home people and it is no big deal. It really depends on the family. As Kimbell stated at this point you don't have a choice so don't over think it.

A few years back an EX invited me to Thanksgiving dinner and when I got there it was her, me and her new BF.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

Totally overanalyzing imo.

I would agree that it depends on her family. Heck, my family invites ANYONE that doesn't have a place/friends/family to be with on Thanksgiving day. Surely a guy that a girl (sister, niece, cousin, etc) is dating is totally invitable if the guy down the street that was met in the sports bar 2 days before is.


T

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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It really depends. For some people meeting the family is a big deal. Others bring home people and it is no big deal. It really depends on the family. As Kimbell stated at this point you don't have a choice so don't over think it.

A few years back an EX invited me to Thanksgiving dinner and when I got there it was her, me and her new BF.

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evil, imo.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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It really depends. For some people meeting the family is a big deal. Others bring home people and it is no big deal. It really depends on the family. As Kimbell stated at this point you don't have a choice so don't over think it.

A few years back an EX invited me to Thanksgiving dinner and when I got there it was her, me and her new BF.

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evil, imo.

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I hate your ex

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

holy crap you're so gay.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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It really depends. For some people meeting the family is a big deal. Others bring home people and it is no big deal. It really depends on the family. As Kimbell stated at this point you don't have a choice so don't over think it.

A few years back an EX invited me to Thanksgiving dinner and when I got there it was her, me and her new BF.

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evil, imo.

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I found it strange but not evil. If anyone should have been angry it should have been her new BF. The whole family kept making him feel inferior esp the EX. If the roles had been reversed I would have walked out. I felt sorry for the guy.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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Holy crap, You're overanalyzing the situation.

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Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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holy crap you're so gay.

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To be fair... to me... meeting the family is a REALLY big deal to me. Only a handful of people I know... and even fewer girls that I've dated, have ever met my familia...

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

FWIW I don't think it's that big a deal.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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It really depends. For some people meeting the family is a big deal. Others bring home people and it is no big deal. It really depends on the family. As Kimbell stated at this point you don't have a choice so don't over think it.

A few years back an EX invited me to Thanksgiving dinner and when I got there it was her, me and her new BF.

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evil, imo.

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I found it strange but not evil. If anyone should have been angry it should have been her new BF. The whole family kept making him feel inferior esp the EX. If the roles had been reversed I would have walked out. I felt sorry for the guy.

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W T F

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

Meeting her parents and immediate family is way different from meeting her extended family at thanksgiving. I would never go to a thanksgiving (assuming there will be ~30 people there) unless I had been dating a girl at least a few months. In your situation I would readily meet her immediate family.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

ok, i'm gonna be blunt...but you are dumb. you have NO idea how lucky you are to have a GF, seriously dude- that close w/the last 2 exs and she is cool. Do whatever she wants. From now on. she is a rare find. ASK her what she wants re: coming to the dinner. Say you're cool either way. i so would not date you. i like appreciation. and sorry but i think you are gay.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

The last girl I dated wanted me to meet her family on date 2. Yeah, that didn't happen.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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ok, i'm gonna be blunt...but you are dumb. you have NO idea how lucky you are to have a GF, seriously dude- that close w/the last 2 exs and she is cool. Do whatever she wants. From now on. she is a rare find. ASK her what she wants re: coming to the dinner. Say you're cool either way. i so would not date you. i like appreciation. and sorry but i think you are gay.

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You're correct... I'm going.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
ok, i'm gonna be blunt...but you are dumb. you have NO idea how lucky you are to have a GF, seriously dude- that close w/the last 2 exs and she is cool. Do whatever she wants. From now on. she is a rare find. ASK her what she wants re: coming to the dinner. Say you're cool either way. i so would not date you. i like appreciation. and sorry but i think you are gay.

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You're correct... I'm going.

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Let us know how it goes. Hopefully it's booze/football!

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

Even saying "you're correct...I'm going" I still can't help but think this whole thing is retarded.

Her family understands that you aren't exactly married yet and have only been dating a few weeks. What's the big deal.
And why on earth are so many people saying, "this is bad. you need to find a way to get out of this"??

This is all really weird.

People have been known to invite acquaintances from work or other random people over for thanksgiving.
I've been invited to different thanksgivings before by people I really didn't know that well.

I also don't see what's so big a deal about meeting the parents early as opposed to late. So freaking what.
It's not like the 4 of you are taking a 6-day vacation together to some cabin after only having dated for 2 weeks. Now that would be kind of weird.

But just meeting them or having dinner is no big deal. People are supposed to be somewhat social and sort of nice.

When me and my GF started dating it was just a few days before her birthday.
So on her BDay she said I was welcome to join her and her Mom and brother at some steak restaurant. I asked if that was awkward or anything because we had only been dating a week. "Meh, no big deal. They know we've only seen each other a couple times. But I kind of have to have dinner with them that night and then you and I can go to a movie or something afterwards."
No pressure really. Just be a normal person. Does it somehow mean there is more pressure on me if I later decide I want to break-up with her just because I have now met some of her relatives?

Some of the comments in this thread about how important it is for him to get out of going to dinner really blew me away. If it's a larger gathering than just find the most senile and weird in the whole bunch and strike up a conversation with them for kicks.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

Are her parents in the same town? If so, anyone with a modicum of hospitality would invite you to dinner in this case. It isn't ever too soon to be hospitable on the holidays. Definitely go unless her mom can't cook or something. Who doesn't like Thanksgiving?

If her parents are out of town and you are being invited to travel for a few days, then its more like you think.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

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Last week she mentions that she was talking to her mom and somehow I got invited to Thanksgiving.

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Somehow you got invited??? You got invited because her family aren't total douchebags. They heard that your family wasn't going to be around and invited you. Why is this a big deal at all???

This thread is two weird. To many people are two freaked out at meeting her family.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

Something I think everybody has missed out on and is important is that in going to a family function such as this you are able to see her and her family under a microscope. So any under lying mental craziness that she has been able conceal when it is just you and her is definitely going to come to the surface at an event such as this. Nobody can hide their true selves when they are with their family. There is such a history there that any trait that is possessed by your girlfriend or by her family, whether good or bad, will definitely come out. This will give you a good indication of whether or not you can deal with her little quirks or whether they drive you nuts. Either way, it is better to know now about any issues - personal or family wise- that you can't handle.

Also, you may find out that this girl and her family are awesome.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

Yeah.

I met my fiancee's family (and she met mine) around the same time in our relationship (1 1/2-2 months in), and both discovered that we got along really well with each other's families.

There are numerous positive outcomes that can come from this. Beyond just having a good Thanksgiving meal as opposed to not having one since your folks aren't even around.

Just do it, obv.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

ZOMG!!!!1!1!! You have to meet her family?!?!

LOL, relax duder. Sure, it might be a little awkward at first. But as long as you're friendly, interested, polite, and social, everything will be fine and you'll have a good time.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

I wouldn't consider it a big deal to go to this function even if I wasn't that serious about the girl and didn't think we had any future relationship potential.
It's just a dinner....and a Thanksgiving one at that. So what.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

Dude, just go...at least you'll find out early if her family is crazy or not. Try to have a good time.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

free food. possible free booze and football.

sounds horrible. stay home alone and call her
during dinner to complain how lonely and stupid you feel.

Re: To soon to meet the family????
 

could be worse