Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

Alright before i go into my exact problem here, i want to give you a little bit of my background. This is definetely going to be a tl;dr.

I have wanted to be a lawyer my entire life. From day one of my first year of school, I knew that is what i wanted to be.
In fact, it was the only thing i wanted to be. I wanted to be a top notch lawyer. However, and it has taken me a while (and maybe not fully up until now) to realize i just don't have what it takes.

Ive always always been a fairly intelligent person with actually zero work ethic. I know we all think we are lazy, but i (and i actually swear to god) have never opened a textbook out of class in my entire life. I have actually NEVER studied for anything. And this isn't your standard i got perfect grades anyway and went to a good school or something. In fact, its quite the opposite.

Over time, my classmates caught up with me in intelligence because i never really progressed as a student. In High School i got a 3.95 weighted/2.7 unweighted (In North Carolina the weight system is insane.). I refused to not take AP/Honors classes out of the principle that i felt i was better then the people in those classes, and i was intelligent enough to be in the higher classes. I ended up getting a 1270/1870 (old/new sat), and a class rank of like 120 out of 400 kids. I really feel like i threw away my opportunity. I have a year of hours done from AP credit, some from classes i didn't even take, but i just took the exams. I failed most of them but because of the shear amount of exams i took i got a year done (barely).

So i was rejected from every university i applied to except for my super safety school, UNCW. Was really disappointing, i always wanted to go to USC like my father did, and if not at least a somewhat respectable school. However, Now i am at a beach school with a student body that consists of surfers, druggies, and less intelligent people that just worked somewhat in high school.

So here i am, at a really easy party school on the beach. Surely now i would at least get good grades here so i could get into a good law school. But im not doing it, and to be honest im acting as if i don't care. Its ironic, because i really do care, but i have never worked at anything in my entire life. (never had a real job, never had chores, never did any school work) The only exceptions being chess, guitar, warcraft III, and now poker. (Only one at a time, it progressed as i grew older.) I would study whatever i was doing relentlessly, and try to become the best i possible could. But everything else suffered. In fact, part of me didn't want to do it because I couldn't be perfect at it. I have never done something just to do it, never done something to get it over with. I either do it the best i can or not at all.

Now, in my first year as a sophomore at UNCW, I am borderline failing two classes, and might (but probably wont) pull B's in the others. I have failed a good portion of my exams, and haven't done anything at all except party and play poker. My schedule is only mon to wed, 13 credit hours, and nothing before 2 pm. But i just cant do it.

Adding to the confusion, poker has started to treat me much better over the past few months, netting me several thousand. I play at 100 and 200 fr nl now, and have bought all kinds of stuff with the money ive earned. (42 inch tv/oakleys/skateboard/a ton of ralph lauren clothing/new blackberry pearl/cigars). And it really makes me feel good and takes my mind off of everything.

But i can only keep doing this so long. Perhaps i don't have to make this decision today, tomorrow, or even by the end of the semester. But i honest to god cant put a single ounce of effort into anything, and I've realized this has become a serious problem. I tried to talk to a school councilor but i think he thinks i am just a lazy [censored] and a lucky gambl000r who will lose his money eventually. My parents said they would pay my loan after each year but they are going to freak when they find out my grades.

I really thought when i was making actual money at this game it would fix everything, i would be content and focused. But it hasn't. If anything its complicated matters, now i have a realistic financial opportunity in poker. 100 nl can earn you a living, and 200 nl a decent living. If i ever managed to play at a stage beyond that i could certainly play for a very nice living.

But is that what i want? Who am I anymore? What do i want out of life? I feel like ive [censored] up my life and running out of time, and i don't even know what i want anymore.


Cliffnotes: Lazy and Getting bad grades, what should i do?

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

Jesus christ, you have 13 hours spread over 3 days of the week and you can't get you [censored] together to do this? Get your [censored] crap together man, this makes me sad/mad/insane/[censored] raging. Do you [censored] want to play FR the rest of your life?

This might seem harsh, but you only have to attend classes 3([censored] 3 times a week), and you can't get it done. Good job ever getting a real job.

Get you [censored] together now. NOW!

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

try setting up a reasonable, long term schedule that will make you get back on track. (go to important/difficult class, skip meaningless/easy class, poker 1 hour, lunch, study 1 hour, office hours for important/difficult class, etc.) try to find a friend to attend class/study with to stay on track and motivated.

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

Sue your parents for telling you you were special your whole life when it obviously isn't true.

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

the problem isn't going to class. Once im out of class i hate school and cant do any studying/work, and when i open up the book i become insanely hungry/tired/eyes sting and i cant do it. (This has been my experience this year)

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

Congratulations, you have discovered why most of the world is unsuccessful. If you really want to improve your situation, just stop being a lazy [censored]. There's no other way to do it.

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

[ QUOTE ]
when i open up the book i become insanely hungry/tired/eyes sting

[/ QUOTE ]

Quit smoking so much weed

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

With all due respect, it sounds like you suck at life.

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

[ QUOTE ]
Cliffnotes: Lazy and Getting bad grades, what should i do?

[/ QUOTE ]
Stop being lazy and get good grades. But you already knew what to do to fix your problem. The question is will you do it?

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

OP this is ridiculous, This post is me almost exactly... I mean w/ a bit less poker success but that's it... It's so sick I mean, if you showed this exact post to my friends/family just changing school names they would swear that I wrote it... even the lawyer part...

I don't have any answers for you, b/c I still haven't figured it out, But me being able to make 6 figs a year from poker has sorta helped me put off any decisions about my future even though it really bothers me... People are going to say just work harder or just get off your ass and do it and I just can't, I don't know what it is, perhaps immaturity, but i dunno... If you ever figure this out let me know...

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

[ QUOTE ]
what should i do?

[/ QUOTE ]

I dunno, but you got me feeling pretty good about having a 3.0.

I don't want to just leave it at "stop being a lazy [censored]," but I don't know what the specific steps to that are. It sounds like you've accumulated a lot of bad habits over a long, long time; that is going to take an assload of work to reverse.

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

not to be a dick, but there's a slight chance you might not be as smart as you think you are.

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

[ QUOTE ]
not to be a dick, but there's a slight chance you might not be as smart as you think you are.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, your gpa in high school was terrible for someone who claims they were smart, not to mention your sat scores. I thought you were going to be one of those kids who were genuinely intelligent. You even said it yourself, you know how to fix your problems. Man the [censored] up dude. Stop being afraid of actually trying. It seems like your afraid that you might not understand the material in your classes and you use the excuse "lol I don't study" to make yourself feel better to mask the problem.

I'm trying so hard not to blast you with my own lazy, but successful school style, but your problem is easily remedied.

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

like others have said, it seems that you're afraid of realizing you're not as smart as you think...just work hard to achieve like other people who are of slightly above average intelligence

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

See a doctor about getting a prescription for an anti-depressant. Seriously, it could change your life.

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

treat real life as a game
improve your macro some more, your micro is probably fine

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

time management is the most important skill.

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

seriously,this is absolutely pathetic.... im a senior in college and have been experiencing extreme laziness, but am still managing to get [censored] done.... if you want to get thru school then you will stop sucking at life and just study (seriously tho, maybe you should completely stop playing poker until the semester if it is consuming your life, the money is not as important as passing school.. at least not until your playing 600nl lol)

Re: Big Choices and Im Bewildered
 

OP, it looks to me that I have found an Identical brother! this is obviously not a good thing knowing how we are. I thought it would help you feel a little better about yourself knowing there is someone more screwed up than you are.

*5 +years in community college and still can't find a major and I have to apply to transfer in fall 08. I just don't have a passion in life
* I have to get no c's in any of my classes this semester to have a chance to transfer to my local uni. I am unfortunately working on 2 c's [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]
* I am a degenerate procrastinator. I am so bad that I skipped a test in my math class (the class I must pass no matter what in order to complete math requirement and trasfer) because I had not done any reading for like a month.
* Unlike you im not making money at poker. I am totally busto after I pay rent I have less than 200 bucks on my checking account every month.
* my parents are busto as well. If I don't work I can't afford to live where I do so i am basically supporting my mother and sister. Nobody can help me pay my loans (like your parents offered you)
* my gpa is horrible as well and probably not good enough to get me anywhere decent.

I understand your problem but at least you are making money at poker. For me there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully this post helps you feel a little bit better.