PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

STICKY PLEASE.

Since I am the BBV Chaplain and well-known in these here parts as a Pastor, some thought it a good idea for me to make a special post for #666. See, a lot of people freak out about that number since the Bible singles it out as the “number of the Beast.” Only thing is, no one has a clue what that means. So, IRL, “666” is totally innocuous. But, since you are all a bunch of mo-tards when it comes to things religious, I will make post 666 kind of a big deal anyway.

I’ve been in BBV for a year now (note how it’s taken me basically a year to get this far, or about 50 posts a month, unlike a lot of no-lifes who have over 1000 posts per month, most notably recently in the last two months or so when some newcomers tried to trainwreck BBV and BBV4L). It all started with a thread about my actor-son being in an episode of “House.” http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...rue#Post9188826

And in that year, I have learned a lot about poker, about this forum, and about today’s college students. What follows is the BBV 10 Commandments, followed by a word of explanation based upon the things I’ve learned in my first year.

1. Thou shalt not be racist. If I make a joke about how a dilemma for a person like Gildwulf is “free ham”, I’d get banned, but if someone named “Nambla Gambla” makes jokes about having sex with my son, or if people use “Jesus Christ” as a cuss word, no problem.

2. Thou shalt act like young punks on all occasions. Even though I figured that most people in this forum were probably in their 30s or 40s, like me, I quickly found out you are a bunch of rejects from MTG who either are 124 pounds with stick arms or are 5’ 5” and 270, and who use criticism of others and mob mentality to attack at all opportunities, in order to finally feel manly and part of a group.

3. Thou shalt glorify poor ethics. I quickly found out what “ratholing” and “shortstacking” means.

4. Thou shalt prove your intelligence by denying God. I discovered that in a forum populated with the brightest young minds in America, an alarming number of you actually think the knowledge of God is something to be laughed at and ignored, even going so far as to think that God himself is a fairy tale.

5. Thou shalt demonstrate that deep down, you are still offspring of your Creator. A majority of you are open to the authentic Christian message; one of love, compassion, generosity and social justice. Not the bastardized message too many in the church have made it out to be. And when I voice this message, I get favorable feedback.

6. Thou shalt see me as a tremendous donk. Many of you think I am retarded, mostly because of the funny HHs I post. Of course, I post these without any back story or reads whatsoever. I’m not as good as a lot of you, but I do win, and do fairly well at NL50. Of course, a big part of this is because any questionable play at all is immediately jumped on with the aforementioned mob mentality designed to make life-long wimps and geeks feel important and part of the cool group for the first time in their lives.

7. Thou shalt be basically decent. BBV cares, as seen in the Lurker situation and in Barry G.’s children charities.

8. Thou shalt take opportunity to bag on yourself. For instance, I discovered that I can’t fight.
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...ue#Post10063614

9. Thou shalt fervently believe that you are WAY smarter than you actually are.

10. Thou shalt take advantage of my office. In my role as BBV Chaplain, I actually do get PMs for advice, counsel, or just to tell me things they can’t talk about anywhere else.

Mandatory hot chick:

http://i154.photobucket.com/albums/s...ise2005067.jpg

Oh, and of course, a pole:

Re: Passaman post #666. BBV 10 Commandments
 

why's benyamine not with his girl?

Re: Passaman post #666. BBV 10 Commandments
 

You try way too hard to fit in.


Ban please

Re: Passaman post #666. BBV 10 Commandments
 

i guess i'll vote at noon

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

I was about ready to tell you I would not take advantage of your orifice.

My BBVDAR still works.

Re: Passaman post #666. BBV 10 Commandments
 

Happy 666 mother [censored]

Re: Passaman post #666. BBV 10 Commandments
 

god is santa claus for adults

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

you're annoying

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

borderline creepy

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ QUOTE ]
way beyond borderline creepy

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

Ahh, jfish and imabigdeal are merely trolls, and are perfect examples of Commandment #6

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

is this a gimmick acct?

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ QUOTE ]
6. Thou shalt see me as a tremendous donk. Many of you think I am retarded, mostly because of the funny HHs I post. Of course, I post these without any back story or reads whatsoever. I’m not as good as a lot of you, but I do win, and do fairly well at NL50. Of course, a big part of this is because I play 50nl

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

jesus christ, this thread is the dumbest thing I've read since the book about Jehovah's corpse having run aground on a Gibraltar island

but since I don't close threads, off to bbv4l you go

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ QUOTE ]
4. Thou shalt prove your intelligence by denying God. I discovered that in a forum populated with the brightest young minds in America, an alarming number of you actually think the knowledge of God is something to be laughed at and ignored, even going so far as to think that God himself is a fairy tale.


[/ QUOTE ]
Bright minds tend not to believe in unproven fairy-tales. Sorry.

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

just because i called op a horrible bbv poster doesn't mean he needs to try so hard to prove me right [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

f the haters passaman, I liked it

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[censored] religion.

Jesus Christ was the David Blaine of his time. Maybe David Blaine is the Jesus Christ of our time.

LOL @ people who believe in what a book, that was written by MAN, tells them to believe.

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ QUOTE ]
f the haters passaman, I liked it

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks, man. I think it's funny. I especially like how I replaced "bastard" with "Virgin birth" in the pole. Also, I clearly admit there's a humor barrier between 40 year olds and college kids. For people my age, this is funny.

PAGING 42_It...he'll like it.

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

At least you aren't a scientologist!

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

I like it. Normally I'm all about boobs and lolcats or the strat forums but this is a nice change of pace.

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

passaman, go shove your bible up your ass. i'm tired of listening to delusional holy rollers like you who think everyone wants to hear them preach. wait until sunday and the herds of sheep.

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ QUOTE ]
passaman, go shove your bible up your ass. i'm tired of listening to delusional holy rollers like you who think everyone wants to hear them preach. wait until sunday and the herds of sheep.

[/ QUOTE ]

Troll rears his head once again. I didn't preach anywhere in that post. But, thanks for your attention. Glad you read it. Be sure to study for your Algebra I test tomorrow, and don't forget to ask your mom for money for the ASB Card before Friday.

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ QUOTE ]
f the haters passaman, I liked it

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ ] Hot chick in OP is an actual hot chick

DISAPPOINTMENT!

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

your son is so balla

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

i think people are entitled to their beliefs, if you want to discuss them go to SMP, 90% of their threads are about this, anyone who brings it up in here is trying to bring attention to themselves and is picking a fight, it is that simple.

that being said, i think this is REALLY passive aggressive. i don't know much about you as a poster but i read this and didn't find any part funny. it really really irritates me when anyone takes pain to play the victim.

P.S. nambla gambla is a hilarious name i dont care what you say

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ QUOTE ]
i think people are entitled to their beliefs, if you want to discuss them go to SMP, 90% of their threads are about this, anyone who brings it up in here is trying to bring attention to themselves and is picking a fight, it is that simple.

that being said, i think this is REALLY passive aggressive. i don't know much about you as a poster but i read this and didn't find any part funny. it really really irritates me when anyone takes pain to play the victim.

P.S. nambla gambla is a hilarious name i dont care what you say

[/ QUOTE ]

You're a cool guy, but your post is aggressive/aggressive. Out of 10 Commandments (an attempt at irony), 2 mentioned something about my beliefs. This is entirely fitting since I'm a pastor, which is how I'm known here, and it's post #666. The entire post is not a passive/aggressive attempt at anything, merely a look back at my year in BBV. For my next post, tell me what they lectured on in Human Development last week.

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ QUOTE ]

2. Thou shalt act like young punks on all occasions. Even though I figured that most people in this forum were probably in their 30s or 40s, like me, I quickly found out you are a bunch of rejects from MTG who either are 124 pounds with stick arms or are 5’ 5” and 270, and who use criticism of others and mob mentality to attack at all opportunities, in order to finally feel manly and part of a group.

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice job judging people.

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ QUOTE ]
STICKY PLEASE.


2. Thou shalt act like young punks on all occasions. Even though I figured that most people in this forum were probably in their 30s or 40s, like me, I quickly found out you are a bunch of rejects from MTG who either are 124 pounds with stick arms or are 5’ 5” and 270, and who use criticism of others and mob mentality to attack at all opportunities, in order to finally feel manly and part of a group.



[/ QUOTE ]


Yes, you are trying too hard. Def. not sticky material. Sorry.

(BTW, I am 44 years old)

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

i like you but i liked you more before this post.

dont take the internet so seriously....

[ QUOTE ]
you are a bunch of rejects from MTG who either are 124 pounds with stick arms or are 5’ 5” and 270, and who use criticism of others and mob mentality to attack at all opportunities, in order to finally feel manly and part of a group.

[/ QUOTE ]

inappropriate imo.

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[x]Evangilizing in BBV
[x]Thinly veiled barbs at other religions
[x]Judging others
[x]Casting the first stone
[x]Imma victim
[ ]humour

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
f the haters passaman, I liked it

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks, man. I think it's funny. I especially like how I replaced "bastard" with "Virgin birth" in the pole. Also, I clearly admit there's a humor barrier between 40 year olds and college kids. For people my age, this is funny.

PAGING 42_It...he'll like it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Heh. I did like it.

#11 - Youth is wasted on the young.

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

Jesus f-ing Christ, why did I read this horrible thread....

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

This thread caused a bunch of age discrimination. Old duders hatin on the young Thundercats. Youngster hatin on the Geritol crew.

Whole 10 Commandments thing was kind of "meh" for me. Passa, you come off in this post as WAY too judgmental of most people, and the whole "Holier than thou" attitude that I thought you were trying to eschew in your personal spirituality?

I doubt this is a level -- you seem WAY too committed to treat this satirically.

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

11. it's ok to call hooters "knockers" and sometimes "snack trays".
12. it is wrong to be french.
13. it is ok to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder.
14. lawyers, see rule 13.
15. it is ok to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes.
16. everyone should carpool... except me.
17. bring back the word "stewardesses".
18. synchronized swimming is not a sport.
19. mud wrestling is a sport.
20. You shall not remake the bionic woman and neglect to remake:
<ul type="square">[*] The 6 Million Dollar Man[*] The Time Tunnel[*] Vegas (the Dan Tanna one)
[/list]

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

[ QUOTE ]
11. it's ok to call hooters "knockers" and sometimes "snack trays".
12. it is wrong to be french.
13. it is ok to put all bad people in a giant meat grinder.
14. lawyers, see rule 13.
15. it is ok to drive a gas guzzler if it helps you get babes.
16. everyone should carpool... except me.
17. bring back the word "stewardesses".
18. synchronized swimming is not a sport.
19. mud wrestling is a sport.
20. You shall not remake the bionic woman and neglect to remake:
<ul type="square">[*] The 6 Million Dollar Man[*] The Time Tunnel[*] Vegas (the Dan Tanna one)
[/list]
[/ QUOTE ]

21. God made girrafes because Dids could uppercut a horse
22. the snozberries taste like snozberries
23. don't talk about your girlfriend, mother, aunt, professor, babysitter, etc w/out posting pics
24. never refer to OP as BBV chaplain

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

25. A cup of hot fat sounds better than it tastes
26. A hot fatty is better than it sounds

Re: PASSAMAN POST #666. BBV 10 COMMANDMENTS
 

27. Epilepsy and this picture don't go well together: http://i173.photobucket.com/albums/w...953f1f9b5d.gif