Post an example of how you are a bad person.
 

Examples from the trivial to the profound will be gladly accepted.

http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/6...dpersoncg3.jpg

I saw this on the CNN webpage, and my first thought was "That's not a palindrome."

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I laughed.

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I post in SMP sometimes

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I don't get it.

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One of my friends dogs unfortunately is getting put down because it has cancer...and another of my friends who just got back from a 2 year stint in the Peace Corp in Africa and mentioned how he could cook it if it came down to it.....

my response .. "The cancer would be like seasoning right"

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I don't get it.

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the title was similar to the palindrome "a man, a plan, a canal - Panama"

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my response .. "The cancer would be like seasoning right"

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Oncolicious.

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At my wife's family reunion this summer, one of her ~90 year old great-aunts came up to me, shook my hand, and asked, "What's your name now?". My immediate response was "It's still Paul"; the sarcasm center of my brain being quicker and more powerful than the judicious part.

She looked at me a bit confused and then walked away. My wife of course called me a jerk.

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I don't get it.

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I laughed at this post

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this isn't bbv you tards, quit with the excessive quoting

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I worked at a college radio station and was dirt poor. I would take CDs over a year old and sell them to the local CD store. I still feel like [censored] about it.

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back in high school we use to throw pennies all over the lunch room floor and watch the retarded kids go apesh*t trying to race and pick them up.

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Another example:

I laughed at the post above this.

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this isn't bbv you tards, quit with the excessive quoting

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back in high school we use to throw pennies all over the lunch room floor and watch the retarded kids go apesh*t trying to race and pick them up.

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Giving money to retarded people doesn't make you a bad person. It's a progressive tax system.

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this isn't bbv you tards, quit with the excessive quoting

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Im surprised it took as long as it did

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I'm leaving my commonlaw wife, and child for my university sweetheart.

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this isn't bbv you tards, quit with the excessive quoting

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QFT

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@ a poker tournament in Biloxi, I made a river call w/ a bluff catcher type of hand. After I said call, villain turned over his hand, which was good, and was pushed the pot. About 3 hands later, I realized that I only said the word "call" without putting any chips in the pot. Nobody seemed to notice, and play continued. I eventually became chip leader, and felt slightly bad about it, then less bad after karma bitch slapped me on the bubble

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I'm leaving my commonlaw wife, and child for my university sweetheart.

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I laughed.

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I once cheated on my then girlfriend on Christmas.

Justifications:


We were in the process of breaking up

The girl I slept with was gorgeous, Brazilian, and about to leave the country.

I'm half Jewish

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i take pictures of women in bars unbeknownst to them

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I'm leaving my commonlaw wife, and child for my university sweetheart.

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That comma doesn't reflect too well on you, either.

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This whorish religious friend of my girlfriend was ALWAY giving me [censored] and taking a holier than though attitude. So when she ended up having an abortion in like senior year of highschool I went a little haywire.

I called and left a voicemail on her phone where I pretended to be a small child basically going "mommy mommy? Where are you?" And left a coat hanger on her car with a flier that said "2 for 1 special"

Of everything in my life that's probably one of the only acts I feel "guilt" over.

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I kicked someone out of my car for not knowing who Cera the Triceratops was. This became an issue because I have her bobblehead in my back seat.

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This somehow needs to be combined with the "most shameful thing you've ever done" thread.

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This whorish religious friend of my girlfriend was ALWAY giving me [censored] and taking a holier than though attitude. So when she ended up having an abortion in like senior year of highschool I went a little haywire.

I called and left a voicemail on her phone where I pretended to be a small child basically going "mommy mommy? Where are you?" And left a coat hanger on her car with a flier that said "2 for 1 special"

Of everything in my life that's probably one of the only acts I feel "guilt" over.

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wow

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Back when I was 16 at my first job, I was supposed to work on 9/11 but couldn't stop watching the news and just didn't go. The next day I called to ask when my next shift was thinking nothing of my no-show because it 9/11 and all. My manager tells me I was supposed to be in that day and I lied "My grandfather died there (from the 9/11 attack)". My next shift, the manager told me, "Sorry about your grandfather" and I had to think for a few seconds to figure out what she was talking about. Then I responded eloquently with, "Yeah..."

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Literally 5 minutes ago I walked over to the store to get some groceries and saw a girl changing her tire. I figured sweet, easy in, just help her out. Start to walk over and realize she was fat, so instead of helping just turned around and walked away.

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Back when I was 16 at my first job, I was supposed to work on 9/11 but couldn't stop watching the news and just didn't go. The next day I called to ask when my next shift was thinking nothing of my no-show because it 9/11 and all. My manager tells me I was supposed to be in that day and I lied "My grandfather died there (from the 9/11 attack)". My next shift, the manager told me, "Sorry about your grandfather" and I had to think for a few seconds to figure out what she was talking about. Then I responded eloquently with, "Yeah..."

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That's terrible, I'm sure they would have let you off the hook if you would have just said you had relatives who live around the towers and were worried about them or something, still sorta scummy, but not near as bad imo.

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Back when I was 16 at my first job, I was supposed to work on 9/11 but couldn't stop watching the news and just didn't go. The next day I called to ask when my next shift was thinking nothing of my no-show because it 9/11 and all. My manager tells me I was supposed to be in that day and I lied "My grandfather died there (from the 9/11 attack)". My next shift, the manager told me, "Sorry about your grandfather" and I had to think for a few seconds to figure out what she was talking about. Then I responded eloquently with, "Yeah..."

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Wow..

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Oh ok, here's one. It's not me, but a friend of mine.

My friends had found a Virginia ID on the ground one night (God bless you Brad Nisely) and started using it as a fake since it kinda looked like two of our friends. One wasn't a very close match and used it a lot to buy alcohol and the other was a very close match just a little heavier but never used it. Well, we finally got friend 2 to use it to buy some beer for us one day and the cashier asked if that was him in the ID, because he looked skinnier in the picture. He responded with what he said was the first thing that came to mind. "Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight since the chemo."

That was the last time he used that ID.

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Oh ok, here's one. It's not me, but a friend of mine.

My friends had found a Virginia ID on the ground one night (God bless you Brad Nisely) and started using it as a fake since it kinda looked like two of our friends. One wasn't a very close match and used it a lot to buy alcohol and the other was a very close match just a little heavier but never used it. Well, we finally got friend 2 to use it to buy some beer for us one day and the cashier asked if that was him in the ID, because he looked skinnier in the picture. He responded with what he said was the first thing that came to mind. "Yeah, I've put on a lot of weight since the chemo."

That was the last time he used that ID.

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Do I know this friend?

Also, I had a buddy who made fake Virginia IDs (that looked perfect) for people the GT circuit. I wonder if this was some of his artwork...

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This whorish religious friend of my girlfriend was ALWAY giving me [censored] and taking a holier than though attitude. So when she ended up having an abortion in like senior year of highschool I went a little haywire.

I called and left a voicemail on her phone where I pretended to be a small child basically going "mommy mommy? Where are you?" And left a coat hanger on her car with a flier that said "2 for 1 special"

Of everything in my life that's probably one of the only acts I feel "guilt" over.

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"winner"

A coworker, M, was recently going through chemo for cancer but still came in to work in between sessions when he felt up to it. But, obv he was in a pretty weakened state. Anyway, one Friday his officemate sent out an email about it being "national hug day" or something and I replied back (reply all) with something like "don't hug M!!" Tbh I wasn't trying to be funny/jerk/whatever, I wanted to remind people that extra exposure to germs was bad. The way it ended up goin' down though I ended up feeling like a bad person.

Although it couldn't have been too bad b/c I just spent 30 minutes hanging out on the couch in M's office shooting the [censored], *shrug*.

Yugoslav

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also, i worked in a mall store, and periodically groups of retarded people would get herded through the mall by their chaperones... and one time we glued a bunch of change to the floor before they came, lol.

the abortion one easily wins here though imo