Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

Background...
1 year ago, I decided to play poker as a PT job.
Today, still doing it, and doing well..
Playing about 4 hours per night.
Talked to some family members about how I was earning XX per hour playing poker...
They told me I had a problem because I play too much...my one cousing, who works two part time jobs and goes to school, said.."you have a problem, but thats great!" Anyone else get this?
Maybe I should keep it to myself and my girlfriend.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

when u never see the sun you have somewhat of a problem, also dont talk to numbers to ppl oustide poker. They just dont get it.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

you should definitely keep it to yourself unless you want to have a bunch of conversations about how "all gamblers lose in the end".

Most people put gambling in a box. I will lose it at, close the box. It is sort of like religion in that way, once you believe it, for a lot of people, you really can't get them to change. Even with overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

In my blog I try and keep particulars out so my family can read. 20k and 30k swings is not comforting. Forget the fact that my house is paid for and all of the things they see to the contrary. To admit that something is possible is to admit you may be wrong about a lot of things and that is something that most people don't want to do.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

You do have a problem and that is caring one bit about what other people think of you. Screw them.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
when u never see the sun you have somewhat of a problem, also dont talk to numbers to ppl oustide poker. They just dont get it.

[/ QUOTE ]
Amen! Big-time. You can't explain it to a non-gambler. If you tell them you won, they say you were just lucky this time. If you tell them you lost, they think you are a constant sucker. When asked, I give a brief answer, "I hold my own." Same with the stock market. I have never owned a bond or a CD or savings much. It is all in two mutual funds and I am up 21%, at least, this year. Folks who have to work warn me year after year than I am going broke. Could happen. Not. Don't tell them.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

tell them a little story
of a man named lucky jim
who lives under the stair in his mother's house
and has soupstains down his chin

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
when u never see the sun you have somewhat of a problem, also dont talk to numbers to ppl oustide poker. They just dont get it.

[/ QUOTE ]
Amen! Big-time. You can't explain it to a non-gambler. If you tell them you won, they say you were just lucky this time. If you tell them you lost, they think you are a constant sucker. When asked, I give a brief answer, "I hold my own." Same with the stock market. I have never owned a bond or a CD or savings much. It is all in two mutual funds and I am up 21%, at least, this year. Folks who have to work warn me year after year than I am going broke. Could happen. Not. Don't tell them.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought that was hilarious.

I agree with you though, I keep a majority of my money in riskier investments. (mutual funds and currency transactions) I quit telling people about it because I got tired of people telling me about how bad of an idea that was, even though they knew absolutly nothing about it at all. So I started to follow this:

[ QUOTE ]
You do have a problem and that is caring one bit about what other people think of you. Screw them.

[/ QUOTE ]

That being said, it is hard when those people are you parents, or people who you really respect.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

I guess I also want them to know it is working too. Im going to take the "I hold my own" and keep the details to myself. I just couldnt believe they thought 4 hours was alot...what part time job isnt at least a 4 hour shift?

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

Develop a heroin addiction.
Then you can show them what a real problem is.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

Just keep it to yourself. Outside of my wife, I don't publish my results to the world. But, I do sometimes get the inevitable 'but how much did you lose' line.

When they see you buying cars/homes/jewelry/etc with cash, they might understand what poker really is about.

Just beware of the freeloaders that come around with their hand held out.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

is that a typo or do you think it cousing? the g key isnt next to either of those keys.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

Don't bother talking poker with other people. Even most people who pretend to understand really don't and are probably whispering behind your back. Despite all of the cash in the bank and things that I have purchased and traveling that I have done, my mother and sister live in constant fear that
I will wind up on the street one day. Whatever.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
Outside of my wife, I don't publish my results to the world.

[/ QUOTE ]
Who do you tell when you're inside your wife?

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

Now that's funny. I could have typed LOL but it is a generational thing.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Outside of my wife, I don't publish my results to the world.

[/ QUOTE ]
Who do you tell when you're inside your wife?

[/ QUOTE ]

A++

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

I got the "You have a problem..." speech from my Dad this past weekend. Sigh. They just don't get it.

T

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

I wonder how Fgators hasn't gotten the you have a problem speech.

I personally convinced my parents its a skill game. A lot of people just dont understand.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

My parents have a large problem with me playing poker thinking I am gambling away money they don't even give me and always want me to get a part time job. At the same time I have paid my food drug and booze bill (and half the rent) for a long time off poker. At the same time I smoke bowls with my mom and they could care less about the unprotected sex I have been having with strangers since i was 15. People outside of this community just will never get it and I feel that the religion analogy is very accurate.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

People don't want to believe that they go to work every morning for a crappy wage or salary while it is possible to log on to a computer a couple times a week for a couple hours and make far more money.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
Handsome Man Voice: People don't want to believe that they go to work every morning for a crappy wage or salary while it is possible to log on to a computer a couple times a week for a couple hours and make far more money.
testimonial 1: I couldn't believe the money I was making. I had to call a lawyer just to make sure I wasn't breaking the law!
Handsome man voice: Now, with the help of our ten step program, you too...

[/ QUOTE ]

This sounds like the start of an infomercial.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
Develop a heroin addiction.
Then you can show them what a real problem is.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
People don't want to believe that they go to work every morning for a crappy wage or salary while it is possible to log on to a computer a couple times a week for a couple hours and make far more money.

[/ QUOTE ]

But how much did you lose?

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

A guy once told me I had a online gambling problem--- but his name was David Benyamine, so I told him to stuff another donut in his pie-hole and STFU..

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

My mom was dubious about online poker at first, but then I started winning consistently and now she's really gung-ho about it. She even watches poker on TV. She likes Daniel Negreanu and Jennifer Harman.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

I think it is important to note that poker is not exempt from problem gambling. There are far greater number of players you play and lose at poker that players who play and win. Just because poker is a game of skill does not mean there are not many people out there that have a problem.

If it wasn't for the losers there could never be winners.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Outside of my wife, I don't publish my results to the world.

[/ QUOTE ]
Who do you tell when you're inside your wife?

[/ QUOTE ]

A++

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

lol @ 4 hours a day being "part time". Thats as full time as it gets in the online poker world.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Develop a heroin addiction.
Then you can show them what a real problem is.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]
yeah, this post was good too [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Outside of my wife, I don't publish my results to the world.

[/ QUOTE ]
Who do you tell when you're inside your wife?

[/ QUOTE ]

Dunno. But I know what your mama tells me when I'm inside her.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Outside of my wife, I don't publish my results to the world.

[/ QUOTE ]
Who do you tell when you're inside your wife?

[/ QUOTE ]

Dunno. But I know what your mama tells me when I'm inside her.

[/ QUOTE ]
You cheat on your wife? You may want to stop telling her about the poker winnings in preparation of the divorce.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

My stock answer when someone suggests I have a gambling problem:
"Problem? Baby, I got the gambling solution!"

Usually gets a laugh, and then we change the subject.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
My stock answer when someone suggests I have a gambling problem:
"Problem? Baby, I got the gambling solution!"

Usually gets a laugh, and then we change the subject.

[/ QUOTE ]
I like to use "Problem Gamblers that Win are called Professionals."

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
tell them a little story
of a man named lucky jim
who lives under the stair in his mother's house
and has soupstains down his chin

[/ QUOTE ]


I like it!

The poem, or the life? I'm not sure

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

Aside from my mom, who ultimately seems indifferent about money to begin with (good thing) and seems on the fence between her beliefs and her apparent undying support of her son, I have learned to STFU entirely about poker. Every once in a while, I have to say something - if I make a nice score or I do something cool - but the tremendous amount of indifference toward my growing success and my ass busting work to learn the math and logic of the game, silent judgment, subconcious hope that their understanding of the game will supersede mine (the "what did you lose?" philosophy), et al. has made me entirely hopeless in sharing something I love with some of my closest friends.

With respect to that, it sucks, because basically your friends are telling you "Well, I'm your friend, but here is our medium of discussion and beliefs, so, well, keep the [censored] inside that, thnx."

It sucks, because being misunderstood on something that I care about and enjoy totally sucks. I'd like to speak with loved ones and friends about the 6 hours I spent last night trying to win the 24K guaranteed, the pushes and moves I made to keep alive with crap cards, only to lose outside the final table on a resteal against a hyper aggro player who had AKs. A "congratulations, man" or "Hey, how did the work that YOU DID last night" would be nice. But, basically, nobody understands. You'd think sharing an achievement like that would be lauded; instead, it's like I did something wrong.

I got into a argument with my mom the other day because, for the first time in like 7 months, I was visibly miffed that I was running bad. She reverted back to "when you're playing, you're not doing work" philosophy. Thanks - I guess making $340 in 5 hours (that's not a brag, I'm just happy with my result, fwiw) is me just playing with my dick and watching Seinfeld.

Just as people like TV or movies or beer or cars or tofu, some people just [censored] love logic and numbers and games. What are they gonna do? Not like them? Well, I [censored] love logic and numbers, and therefore, I really enjoy poker. They sponge into my brain, they make me feel like [censored] for making mistakes and they make me feel sharp and intelligent and disciplined when I understand them and do well by them. Being apart of a well streamed logical vortex and competing in a game is like a religious experience for me - I feel close to a fundamental aspect of my existence. Also, I enjoy chaos and the sourness that comes along with a good 4 or 5 hour session. Is that a "problem?" I don't know. I guess. I really wish it wasn't - there should be room for both me and for that person without a "problem" who likes his office job, his home, his car, and his pending marriage.

Barry

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

I've been told "you have a problem" hundreds of times...used to bug me, doesn't anymore.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
Background...
1 year ago, I decided to play poker as a PT job.
Today, still doing it, and doing well..
Playing about 4 hours per night.
Talked to some family members about how I was earning XX per hour playing poker...
They told me I had a problem because I play too much...my one cousing, who works two part time jobs and goes to school, said.."you have a problem, but thats great!" Anyone else get this?
Maybe I should keep it to myself and my girlfriend.

[/ QUOTE ]

yes you are a sad person with a gambling addiction, welcome to the club [img]/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
also dont talk to numbers to ppl oustide poker. They just dont get it.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
Being apart of a well streamed logical vortex and competing in a game is like a religious experience for me - I feel close to a fundamental aspect of my existence.

[/ QUOTE ]
Wow, loaded statement. I like it and can relate.

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

[ QUOTE ]
Aside from my mom, who ultimately seems indifferent about money to begin with (good thing) and seems on the fence between her beliefs and her apparent undying support of her son, I have learned to STFU entirely about poker. Every once in a while, I have to say something - if I make a nice score or I do something cool - but the tremendous amount of indifference toward my growing success and my ass busting work to learn the math and logic of the game, silent judgment, subconcious hope that their understanding of the game will supersede mine (the "what did you lose?" philosophy), et al. has made me entirely hopeless in sharing something I love with some of my closest friends.

With respect to that, it sucks, because basically your friends are telling you "Well, I'm your friend, but here is our medium of discussion and beliefs, so, well, keep the [censored] inside that, thnx."

It sucks, because being misunderstood on something that I care about and enjoy totally sucks. I'd like to speak with loved ones and friends about the 6 hours I spent last night trying to win the 24K guaranteed, the pushes and moves I made to keep alive with crap cards, only to lose outside the final table on a resteal against a hyper aggro player who had AKs. A "congratulations, man" or "Hey, how did the work that YOU DID last night" would be nice. But, basically, nobody understands. You'd think sharing an achievement like that would be lauded; instead, it's like I did something wrong.

I got into a argument with my mom the other day because, for the first time in like 7 months, I was visibly miffed that I was running bad. She reverted back to "when you're playing, you're not doing work" philosophy. Thanks - I guess making $340 in 5 hours (that's not a brag, I'm just happy with my result, fwiw) is me just playing with my dick and watching Seinfeld.

Just as people like TV or movies or beer or cars or tofu, some people just [censored] love logic and numbers and games. What are they gonna do? Not like them? Well, I [censored] love logic and numbers, and therefore, I really enjoy poker. They sponge into my brain, they make me feel like [censored] for making mistakes and they make me feel sharp and intelligent and disciplined when I understand them and do well by them. Being apart of a well streamed logical vortex and competing in a game is like a religious experience for me - I feel close to a fundamental aspect of my existence. Also, I enjoy chaos and the sourness that comes along with a good 4 or 5 hour session. Is that a "problem?" I don't know. I guess. I really wish it wasn't - there should be room for both me and for that person without a "problem" who likes his office job, his home, his car, and his pending marriage.

Barry

[/ QUOTE ]

this is a great post, gj

Re: Being Told \"you have a problem\"
 

The question I get most often is variations on, "Online poker? How do you get money on there since they shut it down?" My stock answer to that is, "I have no idea how to deposit. When I withdraw, the checks cash just fine, though."

My family doesn't "get" poker in any sort of deep way, but they trust me when I tell them it's a beatable game. They're all very educated people, so I can explain, at a high level how it works (odds, etc) and they can follow. While they don't see how it all clicks together, they are convinced that I do understand it, and that's good enough for them. I think it helps that my degree is in mathematics, so when I tell them, "Poker is about math," they trust that I have a clue what I'm talking about.

Heck, one time when I was talking to my Dad about poker, he asked me, "so, would you be able to learn to count cards in blackjack?" (A friend of his from years ago used to do regular Vegas trips and did quite well at BJ). I just smiled, pulled my copy of "Blackjack Attack" off the bookshelf and showed it to him. He got this semi-stunned look on his face and said, "Well, I guess that answers *that*."