Lets beat a drug test
 

So I have a drug test tomorrow at 8am. I smoked last night, and have been quite frequenly for the past few weeks. Now, I've researched a lot and found that lots of water, vitamin B pills, and eating some red meat will help to cover a dilute sample. So thats my plan, but I'm cutting it way too close so I may be [censored]. I didn't think they would have me test tomorrow, I figured I'd get a week or something.

Any other options? What about those detox products? I've heard they don't really work, but I'd like to hear some opinions.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

Congrats, you're gonna get fired, not hired, thrown back in jail, whatever.

Good luck.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

I'd say you're f'ed here.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

GOOGLE ffs

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

A week would have definitely cleared things up. Call in sick for 4 days?

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

I don't condone this, and would never even attempt to try it, but I know two people who have gotten jobs after smuggling clean urine in for the test.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

I learned a pretty sweat way in The Program, not sure how uncomfortable it is though...

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
So I have a drug test tomorrow at 8am. I smoked last night,

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Sorry buddy. I only had to read this to tell you you are up sh**t's creek without a paddle. I know a friend who was in the exact same situation as you -- drank the detox, and still failed the test. Weed is the absoloute longest lasting drug you can have in your system because the THC stores in your body fat. Duck the test. It is your only chance.

Edit: If they are not watching you when you pee, smuggle clean urine. I know a kid at my boarding school who someone would stand in the room while he pissed to ensure no funny business. MY friend still fooled him because my friend was able to piss with his back to the guy. He bought a mini bottle of hand sanitizer, emptied it, washed it out, and filled it up with clean piss. he then taped the bottle to his dick, and when they made him piss, he unzipped, pulled his dick out, and opened the cap of the bottle quietly and slowly squeezed the piss out. He said make sure to get some on the seat so that it looks legitimate. Gross, but good advice.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

OK, seriously, it sounds like you knew you were going to have to take a drug test, and YOU KEPT SMOKING?

Idiot. Not that you don't already know that you are, but I figure if we keep reminding all the people who do this stupid ish, then at least maybe fewer people will ask us for help.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

Maybe find someone thats clean and do the surgery from Face Off? Not sure how much it costs, but its been around for a while so the price has probably come down.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

alright fine i'll bite. don't listen to any misinformation. click on the link below and look through the several articles they have and inform yourself.

linky

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

Ok, so I've decided to get my buddy to pee for me right before the test, sneak that [censored] in, still warm, and there you go. Do they often watch you piss at these tests?

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
OK, seriously, it sounds like you knew you were going to have to take a drug test, and YOU KEPT SMOKING?

Idiot. Not that you don't already know that you are, but I figure if we keep reminding all the people who do this stupid ish, then at least maybe fewer people will ask us for help.

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored] you dude. I hate people like you. This guy is obviously in a bind there is no need to tell him he did something stupid when he is obviously aware already... go play in traffic

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
Ok, so I've decided to get my buddy to pee for me right before the test, sneak that [censored] in, still warm, and there you go. Do they often watch you piss at these tests?

[/ QUOTE ]
You have given us far too little information to answer that question.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

go to the headshop and buy one of those powder drinks. they're like 30 bucks but you'll pass for sure.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]

[censored] you dude. I hate people like you. This guy is obviously in a bind there is no need to tell him he did something stupid when he is obviously aware already... go play in traffic

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lol

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

Give the peyton manning bootlick a *. Please.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
Do they often watch you piss at these tests?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd say your odds are 50/50, either they do watch or don't watch.

Just curious, what sort of vessel do you intend on smuggling this piss in so you actually pass the whiz quiz?

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
Give the peyton manning bootlick a *. Please.

[/ QUOTE ]
Dude, how many threads are you gonna douche up in one day?

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
Give the peyton manning bootlick a *. Please.

[/ QUOTE ]

Seriously. Reinstate the * program just to give me one...

Oh wait, if you reinstate the program, then you get temp-banned because the FAQ specifically said that posts just asking for someone ELSE to get a * weren't allowed.

Dude, I wasn't even the first one to tell him he did something stupid. I just did it more directly. Go smoke another bowl and chill, noob.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Give the peyton manning bootlick a *. Please.

[/ QUOTE ]
Dude, how many threads are you gonna douche up in one day?

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as many as the number of times you have been laid by a chick who doesn't have pizza face acne......0

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

LOL, I just did a search of all TheBigPicture's posts. And I really really regret it. The guy's a bad-post machine.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Do they often watch you piss at these tests?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'd say your odds are 50/50, either they do watch or don't watch.

Just curious, what sort of vessel do you intend on smuggling this piss in so you actually pass the whiz quiz?

[/ QUOTE ]

it's a small container that is shaped to go in your buttcrack. it has a plastic tube(sorta like the fottball helmets with beer cans) that dispenses the piss when you squeeze your ass.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

SERIOUS ANSWER HERE

OP: go to Walmart or your local grocery store, find Certo liquid fruit pectin. It's used for canning jam/jellies. It's like $3-5 for 2 pouches (it'd come in a blue box). 2-3 hours before your test, mix one pouch in a pitcher of water and drink it all. It tastes like unsweetened lemonade. This will give you a pass. I used this twice (both times having smoked the night before the test) and passed both times.

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/...A280_SH20_.jpg

so you know what to look for

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
LOL, I just did a search of all TheBigPicture's posts. And I really really regret it. The guy's a bad-post machine.

[/ QUOTE ]

The fact that you would do this makes me feel sorry for you that you are going to go through your life wondering why you can't get laid.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
it's a small container that is shaped to go in your buttcrack. it has a plastic tube(sorta like the fottball helmets with beer cans) that dispenses the piss when you squeeze your ass.

[/ QUOTE ]

A+

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
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LOL, I just did a search of all TheBigPicture's posts. And I really really regret it. The guy's a bad-post machine.

[/ QUOTE ]

The fact that you would do this makes me feel sorry for you that you are going to go through your life wondering why you can't get laid.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, I did just have sex earlier today...and probably will again tonight...but yeah, you're right. I've been wondering what the problem has been for a long time.

You've been here for less than 2 months...hope NT! is having a good day and doesn't just help us all out and perma-ban you.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

Find your local Head/Hippie shop

Get Detox Drink

GOGOGOGOGO

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
LOL, I just did a search of all TheBigPicture's posts. And I really really regret it. The guy's a bad-post machine.

[/ QUOTE ]

The fact that you would do this makes me feel sorry for you that you are going to go through your life wondering why you can't get laid.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, I did just have sex earlier today...and probably will again tonight...but yeah, you're right. I've been wondering what the problem has been for a long time.

You've been here for less than 2 months...hope NT! is having a good day and doesn't just help us all out and perma-ban you.

[/ QUOTE ]

Guys, tell me that this guy is not the guy at this website

Http://www.pwned.nl

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

See, that cartoon is kinda funny. I'm not reporting anybody though. NT! doesn't much care for me, but he does run this forum with an iron fist, and over the last, you know, 4 years, I haven't done anything ban-worthy. You're just sitting here starting a flame war, and I'm done with you.

PS. Nice try emailing that secretary trying to get a date. And you're making fun of other people? Well played, sir.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
See, that cartoon is kinda funny. I'm not reporting anybody though. NT! doesn't much care for me, but he does run this forum with an iron fist, and over the last, you know, 4 years, I haven't done anything ban-worthy. You're just sitting here starting a flame war, and I'm done with you.

PS. Nice try emailing that secretary trying to get a date. And you're making fun of other people? Well played, sir.

[/ QUOTE ]

You think I expect her to even respond? I figure I had nothing to lose some girls are so shallow it doesnt matter what the guys personality is or if he is a prick because all they want is to be f'ed by that guy. Am I wrong?

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
PS. Nice try emailing that secretary trying to get a date. And you're making fun of other people? Well played, sir.

[/ QUOTE ]
And he wears jean shorts.... God, this is too much. What a douche. This troll has made my day today. I gotta go bang my gorgeous, 5' 4" 110 lb. wife now (heh, and no acne), while he only dreams of getting laid.

Clueless moran.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
PS. Nice try emailing that secretary trying to get a date. And you're making fun of other people? Well played, sir.

[/ QUOTE ]
And he wears jean shorts.... God, this is too much. What a douche. This troll has made my day today. I gotta go bang my gorgeous, 5' 4" 110 lb. wife now (heh, and no acne), while he only dreams of getting laid.

Clueless moran.

[/ QUOTE ]

The fact that you would brag about your wife and include her measurements and the fact that you think she is goregeous tells me that it is probably the exact opposite and you are very insecure about it

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

put it in a condom, in a hot water flask and then into your jocks just before you go in

if they dont watch you they will put a thermometer in it to ensure its "fresh"

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
OK, seriously, it sounds like you knew you were going to have to take a drug test, and YOU KEPT SMOKING?

Idiot. Not that you don't already know that you are, but I figure if we keep reminding all the people who do this stupid ish, then at least maybe fewer people will ask us for help.

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored] you dude. I hate people like you. This guy is obviously in a bind there is no need to tell him he did something stupid when he is obviously aware already... go play in traffic

[/ QUOTE ]

http://blog.dreamhost.com/wp-content...08/serious.jpg

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

Thanks for the helpful replies. So here is the plan:

My buddy is gonna come with me to the hospital where I have to piss test. He's gonna piss in a medicine bottle, give it to me, still warm, and I'll tuck that [censored] in my pants and take care of business. Seems like a solid plan, and a better chance of success than the detox stuff considering how much ive been smoking.

Trip report to follow.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

Have friend that doesn't do drugs pee in cup . remember to heat the pee so it is warm at the time of test .

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

'clean green zone'...go to your local headshop, they'll have it, it's worked twice for me and once for my brother under similar circumstances...

take 2 pills, drink vial of green stuff (not very tasty, but less than a shot) and 20 oz of water. wait 20 minutes, take 2 pills, chug 20oz of water.

that's it.

pee as many times as possible in the next hour, and basically how it works is either the pills or the green stuff attaches itself to any impurities in your system (the weed) and makes it too big to pee out for about 6 hours..

made me nervous, but it's 3/3 so far...$30 i think it was..

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

I'm amazed at the fact that you guys put up with being subjected to routine mass drug tests.

Land Of The Free indeed.

Re: Lets beat a drug test
 

That took forever fisky!