Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Situation:

I live on the ground floor of a three level apartment in Minneapolis. As of late, I've noticed the dwellers above us like to [censored] at weird hours. Sometimes it's 2 am, sometimes 7 am. It varies on a regular basis.

One thing that doesn't vary is the length of time in which they have sex. Unfortunately for her (or him if they're gay), the man only goes for about a minute at a time.

The sex is accompanied by an acoustically defined creaking. Like an "eeee-oooh, eeee-oooh, eeee-oooh" creaking bed. Fast forward that noise by 10, and for about a minute. It's right above my bed.

Now, it's not all bad, at least some dudes getting some play, and I have new jack off material, something besides the underwear section in the Sears catalog.

Objective:

To embarrass the hell out of them with a personal greeting. Something such as a videotaped knock on the door, and a formal neighborly greeting.

Perhaps a, "High, my name is Tony, and this is my roommate Phil, I thought it appropriate to introduce ourselves to the neighbors above us. One interesting thing I've noticed about you guys in the first month living here, you like to have very condensed sex at odd hours of the night..."

all while presenting them with the proverbial cheap apple pie from the grocer.


If you guys can come up with something far superior to this plan of action, not only will I video tape, or record it, I will post it on youtube, and BBV4LF...

Let us gogogogogog!

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Tape and play tape outside their door on a boombox, rinse and repeat.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

everytime they sex blast hamster dance at the highest volume that'll teach them

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

[ QUOTE ]
everytime they sex blast hamster dance at the highest volume that'll teach them

[/ QUOTE ]
lolololoolllolol

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

http://img460.imageshack.us/img460/6002/fgumpyk3.png

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

This could get fun. It all depends on how easily embarrassed they get.

In college one of my fraternity brother's girlfriends was a screamer, and definitely overestimated the thickness of the walls. Practically the entire house knew when they had sex. I think someone posted a "if this room's a rockin, don't come a knockin'" sign on their door one night - and we literally never heard them go at it again. Apparently the thought of 30 guy friends of her bf listening to her scream and moan during sex creeped her out. Go figure.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

One of my roommates IMed me something like "I know you're just thinking oh god, oh yes, but I'm trying to watch TV down here." once when my girlfriend was being too loud. Kind of awkward when I read it the next day.

I don't think I've ever seen a 2p2 thread on being on the other end of the loud sex conversation(WHAT A MYSTERY!!), but I just completely ignored that it ever happened and continued to have sex with her as before.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://img460.imageshack.us/img460/6002/fgumpyk3.png

[/ QUOTE ]

Gold.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

They are going at it right now.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

one word: hamster dance

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Knock on their door and tell them that you think their love making is way too loud, but you still get off from listening to it. Make sure you have the camera rolling so you can capture the look on their faces. Then post it on youtube so we can watch ldo.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

And, just like that, they're done. On schedule.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Wow, round two commencing.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Use the ol` poking broom at the ceiling tactic yo!

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

[ QUOTE ]
Use the ol` poking broom at the ceiling tactic yo!

[/ QUOTE ]

Hold on yo! I'm beatin off

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Haha, my bad, you get mad props for being such a good multi tasker though.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

[ QUOTE ]
And, just like that, they're done. On schedule.

[/ QUOTE ]

Do you happen to live below Kilillan?

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Round deuce, done. How they didn't come crashing through the floor on top of me is beyond all that is conceivable.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Find broom.

Sharpen end of broom.

Aim.

Kebab his nutsack through ceiling/floor.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

lol. this is probably exactly what the people below me thin. "damn hes quick!"

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Leave a container of WD-40 outside their door with an anonymous note attached that says "hey how about lubing up those creaky bedsprings yo, people are trying to sleep around here"

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

[ QUOTE ]
Leave a container of WD-40 outside their door with an anonymous note attached that says "hey how about lubing up those creaky bedsprings yo, people are trying to sleep around here"

[/ QUOTE ]

nh sir

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

This bed is on fire
With passion and love
The neighbors complain
About the noises above
But she only comes
when shes on top...

Laid

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Bring them a fire extinguisher for if their love gets out of hand.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

1. Get a kitchen timer, a bunch of condoms and a cheap clear PVC shower curtain.

2. Attach condoms to shower curtain.

3. Next time they start going at it, run down and tack the condom curtain above their door.

4. Set the kitchen timer outside and set it for like four minutes. Wait for the "Ding!".

5. Enjoy.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

So far I think your original suggestion is the winner. If you can deadpan that, it would be very, very funny.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

[ QUOTE ]
Leave a container of WD-40 outside their door with an anonymous note attached that says "hey how about lubing up those creaky bedsprings yo, people are trying to sleep around here"

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes. This will be done. I will document with pics. I'd like to get a reaction, but I'm not creepy enough to sit and wait outside their door all day, nor am I home that often.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

See, they're [censored] now. 1:50pm.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

This thread is much better if you read [censored] as [censored]

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Call the cops and say someone in the apartment above you sounds as if they are being raped. Tape and post on youtube

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Tell your neighbor that 1 minute is just not enough for you to get off and hand him some of those condoms with painkillers for the cack.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Estimate times per week your neighbours [censored].

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

email him the link to this topic

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

I would venture to guess it's twice within a 12 hour period...

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Leave a container of WD-40 outside their door with an anonymous note attached that says "hey how about lubing up those creaky bedsprings yo, people are trying to sleep around here"

[/ QUOTE ]

Yes. This will be done. I will document with pics. I'd like to get a reaction, but I'm not creepy enough to sit and wait outside their door all day, nor am I home that often.

[/ QUOTE ]

looking forward to the trip report.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Additional idea: Get a buddy to dress up as a pizza delivery guy. When they start going at it, have him ring the bell and yell "Domino's!". Have an empty pizza box on hand just in case, fill with condoms or a copy of Barry White's greatest hits or something. If they answer the door, have him tell them it's free. If not, just leave it.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Fire up that squeaky bed. eee-errr eee-errr eee-errr. I don't have a can of WD-40, but I will document the note on their door.

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

wd40 and note idea is great, but you should also leave a pack of those numbing condoms and add to the note "p.s. you might want to try these out"

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

Invite your neighbors over for a "listen to the Sex party " it'll stop trust me .

Re: Calling out our neighbors who [censored] constantly
 

You all think it's this couple that like to go at it like rabbits, but I can assure you it's just an old man that like to get a little rowdy in his rocking chair.