Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

Hello, for the past several years my buddies from my regular home game and I have been wanting to play a SNG tourney with a twist: we hire two working girls to spend the night under the table, going from player to player, doing their thing from their knees. At this point we are ready to put this together, so I am trying to work out the details. Any advice on the following consideratoins would be appreciated:

1) Price. I have no idea what this will cost per working girl, we are hoping to not spend more than about $2,000 total for the services, but this might not be realistic. Just don't want to get burned in negotiations


2) blind structure. We want to play a freeze out tournament but also want to make sure that each player of 10 gets to enjoy the service at least once, and the final few should have an opportunity for seconds... I was thinking a flat initial blind structure for about the first hour, as 2 girls will need to provide service to 5 guys each, and if you give each guy 10-15 minutes, that works about to about an hour total for one round. Blinds would have to go up quite fast after that to meet our budget for the girls, who we expect to pay by the hour. But that's as far as I've really worked it out at this point.

I realize we could just let knocked out players stay and enjoy their investment, but that takes the fun out of it and really defeats the whole purpose. If you get knocked out, you leave, right there. Gambool.

3) Optimal buy in amount? We need to give people motivation to actually take risks and win pots, so the money at the end has to outweigh the immediate returns being provided from under the table. $1,000 each, on top of the pro rated share of the cost of the guests? Pay 50-30-20% to 1st - 3rd?

4) Any other angles we could try. My dad had an idea where you'd have a bounty on each player, and if you knock a player out while he is being serviced, he gets the obvious physical discomfort from having to leave right away, but also has to give up his bounty. If he wins or his knocked out while 'dry', he would keep his bounty. If we concurrently outlaw looking under the table, this could get interesting, as it would be in your favor to conceal that you are one of the lucky ones at a given time, in order to prevent people from taking shots at you. Imagine trying to bluff the strength of your hand AND your status under the table at the same time.


Anyway, any advice would be appreciated.


Thanks!

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

Great way to find out which one of your buddies is gay. You'll know it early. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

I need to read this forum more often.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

This sounds a bit gay. Save money if your mom or sister will be home that night.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

LOL this is hilarious.
TR please if it goes down (pun intended).

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

Tworooks ver. 2.0

You really can't make this stuff up.

Cody

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
This sounds a bit gay. Save money if your mom or sister will be home that night.

[/ QUOTE ]

Leave it to the Canadian....Cold, dark winters lead to thoughts of mum, sis and latent homosexual fantasies. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

First one out has to go under the table.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
I need to read this forum more often.

[/ QUOTE ]

So true. First home poker thread opened in probably 3-4 months. You know this has to either

A.) gimmik account
B.) tworooks long lost twin brother.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

sick

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ ] poker
[x] prostitution

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

One, is dad playing in the game?

Two, don't have any women join your game.

Three, this is that 10% uncapped rake game that someone mentioned, isn't it?

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
First one out has to go under the table.

[/ QUOTE ]

LAWL

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
My dad had an idea ...

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img]

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
One, is dad playing in the game?

Two, don't have any women join your game.

Three, this is that 10% uncapped rake game that someone mentioned, isn't it?

[/ QUOTE ]
Why don't we ever do this at our home game? What's that $5 snack fee going to anyway??

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

Cliffnotes: You and a bunch of guys will be sitting around a table playing poker with your dicks out.

I wouldn't really be down for sitting next to some guy while he gets "serviced".

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
So you and a bunch of guys will be sitting around a table playing poker with your dicks out.



[/ QUOTE ]

Hey man, show one show all.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

Mom and sister comment related to Tworooks post.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

Got room for one more in this game?

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
Hello, for the past several years my buddies from my regular home game and I have been wanting to play a SNG tourney with a twist: we hire two working girls to spend the night under the table, going from player to player, doing their thing from their knees. At this point we are ready to put this together, so I am trying to work out the details. Any advice on the following consideratoins would be appreciated:

1) Price. I have no idea what this will cost per working girl, we are hoping to not spend more than about $2,000 total for the services, but this might not be realistic. Just don't want to get burned in negotiations


2) blind structure. We want to play a freeze out tournament but also want to make sure that each player of 10 gets to enjoy the service at least once, and the final few should have an opportunity for seconds... I was thinking a flat initial blind structure for about the first hour, as 2 girls will need to provide service to 5 guys each, and if you give each guy 10-15 minutes, that works about to about an hour total for one round. Blinds would have to go up quite fast after that to meet our budget for the girls, who we expect to pay by the hour. But that's as far as I've really worked it out at this point.

I realize we could just let knocked out players stay and enjoy their investment, but that takes the fun out of it and really defeats the whole purpose. If you get knocked out, you leave, right there. Gambool.

3) Optimal buy in amount? We need to give people motivation to actually take risks and win pots, so the money at the end has to outweigh the immediate returns being provided from under the table. $1,000 each, on top of the pro rated share of the cost of the guests? Pay 50-30-20% to 1st - 3rd?

4) Any other angles we could try. My dad had an idea where you'd have a bounty on each player, and if you knock a player out while he is being serviced, he gets the obvious physical discomfort from having to leave right away, but also has to give up his bounty. If he wins or his knocked out while 'dry', he would keep his bounty. If we concurrently outlaw looking under the table, this could get interesting, as it would be in your favor to conceal that you are one of the lucky ones at a given time, in order to prevent people from taking shots at you. Imagine trying to bluff the strength of your hand AND your status under the table at the same time.


Anyway, any advice would be appreciated.


Thanks!

[/ QUOTE ]

sure this is a level, but to answer seriously

1) You never say how many guys, but I assume it's one table of 9. Your run of the mill call girl on craigslist or eros will run you about 250 for a BJ, altho, I would think you could easily get a volume discount here and probably pay 100-150 per pop as it were. If she's a crack ho or ugly street walker than even better and you could get it for 40 bucks a (ahem) head. But let's assume you care about some semblence of appearances despite the fact that the women are out of sight. 125X9=1125 which is way under your budget, but I think your main problem is finding escorts willing to service a group of men as many wont feel safe. Your best bet is to check the yellow pages for an escort service.

2) Forget being a nice host- I say you should get serviced before the guests arrive and watch how friggin nitty and tight everyone is until they pop their nut. Raise every hand and go nuts accumulating chips from players who dont want to get involced in fear of busting before they get their knob polished.

3) sounds fine, I think you should add that the winner gets sloppy seconds

4) forget bounties, just make sure everyone wears galoshes

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

This will have a huge impact on the value of tells. Will it be obvious when someone is getting serviced? This is very critical to your strategy. If not, then you will need to guess whether that smile means that he has a good hand, or a good mouth. Guess wrong and you could blow your whole wad.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

why dont you guys do something less gay and makeout with eachother nekkid?

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
First one out has to go under the table.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ahahahaah. VNH.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

a few answers and follow up points:


1) regarding the implications that this is gay - it isn't. Instead of the typical felt overlay on the table, we plan to instead utilize a long table cloth that will end at our laps, very tangibly separating the poker playing surface from the other playing service. Theoretically, it should take a discreet, intentional action to expose any unwanted sights or create any unwanted contact, and I wouldn't anticipate that. At any rate, it must be the younger posters bringing this up, still afraid to shower after gym class, etc. There is a fine line people - for example, if you have a threesome with two guys and one female, is that gay? the answer is, it depends. If there is any male on male contact, then yes. If it is a fingercuffs / double stuffing situation, that is just an epic night. high five over the young lady's back and enjoy the rest of your evening.

2) regarding price, I like the idea of paying per occurrence, and this would also provide the entertainment motivation to do a good job (compared to hourly). I do want the entertainment to be an ongoing thing though, lasting as long as the game does. I want to inseparately conjoin the below table activities with the above table activities - we're not looking for BJ's while we play poker, we are looking to play BJ poker. So it is necessary to estimate the number of performances each of the entertainers will be providing. 10 during the first hour (game is 10 players total), then, as players get knocked out and players become less anxious, it slows down....Maybe another 7 total after that (conservatively) over the next hour or two, which seems to be close to our budget (18 x $125 = $2,250, only $25 more per person than we'd budgeted).

3) regarding finding the entertainment, that is what made this idea always just an idea, but one of the individuals involved with this actually seems to have found a few solid leads. I won't go into details to protect the innocent, but suffice it to say that I am more focused on price right now than finding willing talent.

4) the more I think about it the more I like the bounty idea, simply for the added strategic depth.

5) trip report for sure when we get this thing together.

6) the help will be the only girls invited

keep the ideas coming! - I want to plan this thing out good because we'll probably only have the one shot, at least for a long while. a couple other logisitical considerations:

-do you ban booze to keep the game under control and limit the number of restroom breaks? this would also keep the entertainment efficient in their jobs, which is a factor since we'll probably need to have them use rubbers.

-when people get eliminated, do we have them leave the house entirely or just leave the room?

-proper attire?

and some strategic considerations:

-I do think that an aggressive strategy would be best, especially pre flop re-raises, which, while still cheap, tell the opponent you are ready to play for stacks that hand.

-best way to identify who is being serviced? from hand to hand, there will be motivation to bluff both ways (that you are being serviced or that you aren't) depending on if you want action or not. So I think I will rely mostly on more subtle signs of distraction (trouble counting chips or asking a lot of questions about bet size, who the action is on, etc) as well as players who are folding too much.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

I am definitely coming to your home games more often

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
I am definitely coming to your home games more often

[/ QUOTE ]

If Carpenter Ant reads this, there WILL be no more home games there... or anywhere else, for BBnF

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

"but I think your main problem is finding escorts willing to service a group of men as many wont feel safe. "

I bet the guys WON'T feel safe.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
keep the ideas coming!

[/ QUOTE ]

a) I hope you have a good lawyer... and are single.

b) I hope the game is all unmarried guys

c) I hope at least one of them is the local sheriff

d) Is stretching out your walking leg under the table considered "peeking"?

e) $20 to the player who successfully shows no sign of being under duress- that man will probably have a huge poker future.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
Why don't we ever do this at our home game? What's that $5 snack fee going to anyway??

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe you should wait until you're AT the 100th game, before you start complaining.... :P

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]

Hey man, show one show all.

[/ QUOTE ]

PASS!!!

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I am definitely coming to your home games more often

[/ QUOTE ]

If Carpenter Ant reads this, there WILL be no more home games there... or anywhere else, for BBnF

[/ QUOTE ]


Pshaw, she helps me pick them out...














(IM KIDDING!!! please, please, please, please dont tell her)

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

heh heh heh! I know SOMEONE who's folding Aces to my baby hammer after he goes all in, at the next NL game....

(suggestively pulls out brown envelope)

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

If you can't afford this, why not just put a cookie under the table and have it go to the runner up?

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

Prediction #1: This will end up being the most viewed thread in Home Poker.

Prediction #2: Someone will post: "This thread is worthless without pictures"

Prediction #3: This thread is a level from a teen and we're all wasting our time.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

Are you sure all your buddies are clean? Has no one thought of STDs?

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

And still people keep wondering if folding KK preflop is ever correct...

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
Forget being a nice host- I say you should get serviced before the guests arrive and watch how friggin nitty and tight everyone is until they pop their nut.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know about that, to me it seems I lose my aggresion after a busted nut.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

[ QUOTE ]
Prediction #1: This will end up being the most viewed thread in Home Poker.

Prediction #2: Someone will post: "This thread is worthless without pictures"

Prediction #3: This thread is a level from a teen and we're all wasting our time.

[/ QUOTE ]


This thread is worthless without pictures

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

Problem for me would be, usually after a night of poker when I tell my wife, "Boy it was just beat after beat after beat," I don't have a huge smile on my face.

Re: Advice please - Working girls under the table
 

Randomly click on Home Poker and this is what gets discussed... wow i have grossly incorrect preconceptions. I thought this forum would be about blinds and kem cards.