scared of being nice to kids -
 

This article in the WSJ hit close to home to me this week.

In short, a previous article described how we teach kids to be afraid of men nowadays as a knee-jerk reaction to the fact most sexual predators are men. All men, even dads pushing strollers, are almost always considered high risk.

But this article takes it a step further - men now have to be scared of kids - In today's charged environment, men are guilty until proven innocent. The article describes how a guy bumped into a kid and raised his hands above his shoulders to prove he wasn't up to no good.

When I was 17, I was at a high school gaterhing in a gym - one of those career fairs when a 3 year old grabbed around my leg and grinned up at me - as it turns out, I went to church with him and his family, and in the crowd, he recognized me and told me hello in that way a three year old might [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] - I thought nothing of it at the time but now the very thought 17 years later would terrify me.

Like the article, I deliberately avoid eye contact with kids in my neighborhood - I was accidently thrust in the path of a bunch of kids waiting for the bus this week (with their parents standing guard nearby) and I've never felt more unwelcome or uncomfortable walking past them to get back to my house. I am immediately evaluated and considered a threat due to being single and a bit out of place (grey hair prematurely, awkward gait - LOL)

I am scared to death of kids, and not in that "getting shot by a 10 year old" way - I want no one to see me looking at them or talking to them or even smiling when they smile at me in church - Fear of being labeled a predator or considered a danger drives a wedge between me and them and according to the article, Dads barely have it any better.

Anyone else feeling this pressure to move as far away from a school as possible?

RB

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

I know exactly how you feel. My only problem is, is that I am a high school teacher. I was also an adult leader for the Boy Scouts after I turned 18. The Boy Scouts had some crazy policies in place for summer camp for the adults. You were required to have hot pink wrist bands (like hospital bands) on at all times. If you didn't, or saw an adult who didn't, the cops were called before they came a talked to you. I felt that this was little absurd, but I guess for the safety of the kids.

As for school. I had a girl accuse me of physically stopping her in the hallway. She didn't accuse me of touching her in an inappropriate (sp) way, she just said that I restrained her. Though this accusation was serious enough and was during classes with nobody else in the hallway. Luckily, the janitor was in the hall and saw the whole thing. I approached the girl, but never touched her (i'm not [censored] stupid), asked what she was doing in the hall. When she didn't answer, she walked by, and disappeared down another hall. 3 hours later I was called into my principals office with thic crazy ass story. Thank God the janitor was around. If he wasn't, it would have been my word vs. hers, and I would have lost my job at the least.

I think the worst part of teaching is all the girls who want to give you a hug, or just want to be close to you. It is hard not to be rude, but you must also keep your distance.

I understand that the OP is usually talking about younger kids, but I figured I would throw in my 2 cents worth about the high school kids.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

I think this article, and you, are blowing things way out of proportion. I worked as a gymnastics coach all through high school and college and never had a hint of a problem. In my current daily life I only see kid around the apartment complex usually at the pool. I usually talk to kids that are around and playing and again, never a hint of a problem. If kids are scared of you they're scared of you, whatever. It's not a big deal, they'll just run away. You certainly can't make trouble for yourself talking to kids though; you haven't done anything wrong.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

I know exactly what you mean, especially being a high school teacher myself, and it's something I think about a lot. Just go take a look at sites like badbadteacher or teachertrash and you get a slew of stories about teachers touching students inappropriately and other related misconduct.

Obviously, if some teacher is found with millions of files of child pornography, that's pretty cut and dry, but there are stories on that site about a teacher allegedly having improper incidents with students, 10, 15+ years ago!

Most likely a majority of those stories are true, but what of the ones that aren't? Just the mere accusation of something like that is probably enough to permanently taint a teacher's reputation, if not their career. If a student of mine felt I unfairly gave her a bad grade, or she just plain didn't like me, what's to stop her from taking revenge by going to an administrator and saying I touched her improperly? And if that happened, I'd surely be pulled out of the classroom while an investigation took place. But the thing is, the best case scenario is that even if I were cleared on all charges, I'd have a cloud of suspicion forever hanging over my head. I don't think I'm being overly irrational either; this is very real possibility. All it takes is one student with a grudge.

It's sad nowadays that teachers are taught to avoid physical contact with students whenever possible. We are taught to refrain from giving a student a hug, or to even be in the same room with a student without someone else present. I understand that the aim is to protect the student and the teacher, but I remember a couple times back in grade school after I'd had a particularly bad day, a hug from a teacher really turned it around. It's sad we live in another world these days.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

I tried to go to Chuck E Cheese's (arcade and pizza place combo) for my friends younger brother's birthday, and was denied access. I'm 21 years old, and was shut down from the 10 y/o's bday party because I wasn't there with a kid. Me pointing out my friends family and birthday party did not help me, only when a girl, same age as me came and said I was fine (my guy friend wasn't enough validation), was I able to go in.

It struck me as very odd, especially because generally I dress like I'm on a tennis court or golf course, and not creepyish in any way.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
I think this article, and you, are blowing things way out of proportion. I worked as a gymnastics coach all through high school and college and never had a hint of a problem. In my current daily life I only see kid around the apartment complex usually at the pool. I usually talk to kids that are around and playing and again, never a hint of a problem. If kids are scared of you they're scared of you, whatever. It's not a big deal, they'll just run away. You certainly can't make trouble for yourself talking to kids though; you haven't done anything wrong.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think the suspicions usually stem from the kids but from the parents who are in charge of the kids, or other adults who are watching.

I agree completely with the article and op. The atmosphere in many parts of the country have become near boiling paranoia when it comes to kids around adults in almost any capacity.

It's really sad especially for the kids who grow up in an atmosphere of complete and total fear. I can't imagine such a climate results in well-adjusted adults, and from my experience it does not. But I guess society has decided that rather than have a few kids be severely emotionally damaged, we'll just have most of them be somewhat emotionally damaged. The irony of course is that there doesn't seem to be much indication that such paranoia is actually stopping the predators.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

sounds like you're letting the media control your life. al quaeda, bird flu, killer bees, the big one, west nile virus, etc.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

I'm a mid-twenties, married guy, living in a nice neighborhood with a lot of kids and about two blocks from an elementary school. Our mailbox is a little bit down the street from our house and I like to take my dogs for a little walk to get the mail.

One day, I was walking my dog, he was still a little puppy, and a little girl was playing in her front yard with her dog. I was walking by with my puppy, she was all "puppy!" so I stopped to let her pet my dog. Her mom came running out and brought her inside like I was a child molester, didn't say a word to me, just came out and got her daughter and rushed back inside. We're practically neighbors. I was walking back to my house with my mail in my hand.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

I was walking my dog the other day and two neighborhood kids, about 6 years old and playing in their yard, come running up wanting to meet and pet the dog. I kneel down and talk to them, letting them play with him, asking them their names, etc...

And suddenly a blood curdling SCREAM goes up from the house and the kids' mother comes running out, terror on her face. She grabs the kids and runs back in before I can even say "hi."

Granted, I was wearing these:
http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...ather_buns.jpg

but come on!

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

Maybe she was scared of the dog? I wouldnt want my future child to play with a dog either. I have heard of many stories where a "nice" dog just snapped.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
sounds like everyone else is letting the media control their lives. al quaeda, bird flu, killer bees, the big one, west nile virus, etc.

[/ QUOTE ]

OP is just reacting to it. It's everyone else that has bought into this "everyone is a child molestor crap". I lol at people that freak out about predators but still feed their kid Mcd's, food with added sugar and are in the 40% or so of people that can't put car seats in correctly. lol indeed.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
It struck me as very odd, especially because generally I dress like I'm on a tennis court or golf course, and not creepyish in any way.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sounds creepy to me.

http://www.umlytennis.net/pages/paum...nnis_nerds.jpg

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'm a mid-twenties, married guy, living in a nice neighborhood with a lot of kids and about two blocks from an elementary school. Our mailbox is a little bit down the street from our house and I like to take my dogs for a little walk to get the mail.

One day, I was walking my dog, he was still a little puppy, and a little girl was playing in her front yard with her dog. I was walking by with my puppy, she was all "puppy!" so I stopped to let her pet my dog. Her mom came running out and brought her inside like I was a child molester, didn't say a word to me, just came out and got her daughter and rushed back inside. We're practically neighbors. I was walking back to my house with my mail in my hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, you felt offended. Understandable. The mom's reaction is also 100% understandable and fine. DUCY?

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
[
Okay, you felt offended. Understandable. The mom's reaction is also 100% understandable and fine. DUCY?

[/ QUOTE ]

No its not understandable, or fine. Its ridiculous. I'm the father of 3 small children btw, so I do understand a parent's need to protect their children, but common sense must prevail. If the mother was close enough to rush out and grab them, then she was close enough to stand back at a safe distance and monitor the situation. Only if there was any evidence of inappropriate behaviour does she need to intervene.

How are her kids going to grow up into sensible normal human being if they have been denied the opportunity to even interact with a neighbour collecting his post?

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

I'm a parent. I live in a highrise. Every morning I ride the elevator with elementary aged children. It makes me uncomfortable when they talk/touch me. I don't know why I just feel weird.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
I'm a parent. I live in a highrise. Every morning I ride the elevator with elementary aged children. It makes me uncomfortable when they talk/touch me. I don't know why I just feel weird.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is great coming from someone with your schoolgirl avatar.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm a parent. I live in a highrise. Every morning I ride the elevator with elementary aged children. It makes me uncomfortable when they talk/touch me. I don't know why I just feel weird.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is great coming from someone with your schoolgirl avatar.

[/ QUOTE ]

You can talk. Your avatars stuck in pre-school.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

David Sedaris wrote of this same fear, which is presumably more pronounced as he is gay, in one of his books (I think it was the Dress Your Kids book). The story he tells is completely mundane but through our fear goggles it could easily be seen as really shady.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

we have problems with child abuse in Ireland too, but this reaction really seems like a uniquely American thing. My aunt and her family (Irish/German) moved to New Haven for a semester and I think they were a little surprised. She sent me this

[ QUOTE ]
[our 12 year old daughter], who had only been in school one week and had not as yet made any friends, was completely dependent on me, even to go outside the house (Americans don't let their children roam on their own).

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't know why this is an American thing and not European.

Another example: I used to quite regularly take high school students aged 11-18 on chess trips, with and without teachers, as a voluntary leader. I got on well with the kids (I wouldn't have done it otherwise). There were often hugs all round after a good result. We played football, rugby, piggyback races, all kinds of messing around. I can't imagine doing the same in America.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

You think the kid grabbing your leg was bad...

I was recently camping for a few weeks outside the town of Hope British Columbia. I went to Hope because there is a large community recreation facility, to which you can buy a month-long membership. Huge pool, hot tub, sauna, showers. Ah, the showers.

They have separate family shower rooms that are very much like single-occupant restrooms, in addition to the male and female locker rooms with the open shower rooms. So I'm taking a shower in the open locker room and three five year old boys come in. My first thought was that Jesus, I've just exposed myself to a bunch of little kids, and I'm in here alonewith them. They are all giggling and I wonder what the [censored] is up and then a [censored] 6-year old girl comes in to join them. They were laughing because they knew their sister/cousin/future-bride was going to see my peepee. Great. My clothes are in the locker on the far side of the locker room, with that gaggle of potential accusers directly in between me and my clothes. So then as I'm facing the shower wall and trying my best not to spontaneously think of something that might raise the dead, the gaurdian of these runts comes in. He sees me showering naked and says something like "oh, cover your eyes lisa." So this little girl is standing there with her hands over her eyes while I march my dick past the [censored] kids.

The whole experience left me with vertigo and I didn't know whether my feelings and fears were out of line or not. Since this was another country (technically) I figured maybe I've just absorbed too much American paranoia and let it go (instead of asking this guy wtf he is thinking to bring a little girl to an adult male locker room). In any case I left that po-dunk redneck cowtown shortly thereafter.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm a mid-twenties, married guy, living in a nice neighborhood with a lot of kids and about two blocks from an elementary school. Our mailbox is a little bit down the street from our house and I like to take my dogs for a little walk to get the mail.

One day, I was walking my dog, he was still a little puppy, and a little girl was playing in her front yard with her dog. I was walking by with my puppy, she was all "puppy!" so I stopped to let her pet my dog. Her mom came running out and brought her inside like I was a child molester, didn't say a word to me, just came out and got her daughter and rushed back inside. We're practically neighbors. I was walking back to my house with my mail in my hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, you felt offended. Understandable. The mom's reaction is also 100% understandable and fine. DUCY?

[/ QUOTE ]

No, not understandable. Innappropriate to the level of threat posed and reflective of a mindset that sees all men as predators until proven otherwise. That isn't the kind of country we're supposed to live in.


Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
Step out of line, the man come and take you away

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm a mid-twenties, married guy, living in a nice neighborhood with a lot of kids and about two blocks from an elementary school. Our mailbox is a little bit down the street from our house and I like to take my dogs for a little walk to get the mail.

One day, I was walking my dog, he was still a little puppy, and a little girl was playing in her front yard with her dog. I was walking by with my puppy, she was all "puppy!" so I stopped to let her pet my dog. Her mom came running out and brought her inside like I was a child molester, didn't say a word to me, just came out and got her daughter and rushed back inside. We're practically neighbors. I was walking back to my house with my mail in my hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, you felt offended. Understandable. The mom's reaction is also 100% understandable and fine. DUCY?

[/ QUOTE ]
This COMPLETELY blows my mind. I have never heard of anything similar here in The Netherlands. Sounds very paranoid and irrational.

I also don't get why many people in the US apparently believe that if a child catches one glimpse of another naked human being they will be screwed up for life.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm a mid-twenties, married guy, living in a nice neighborhood with a lot of kids and about two blocks from an elementary school. Our mailbox is a little bit down the street from our house and I like to take my dogs for a little walk to get the mail.

One day, I was walking my dog, he was still a little puppy, and a little girl was playing in her front yard with her dog. I was walking by with my puppy, she was all "puppy!" so I stopped to let her pet my dog. Her mom came running out and brought her inside like I was a child molester, didn't say a word to me, just came out and got her daughter and rushed back inside. We're practically neighbors. I was walking back to my house with my mail in my hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

Okay, you felt offended. Understandable. The mom's reaction is also 100% understandable and fine. DUCY?

[/ QUOTE ]
This COMPLETELY blows my mind. I have never heard of anything similar here in The Netherlands. Sounds very paranoid and irrational.

I also don't get why many people in the US apparently believe that if a child catches one glimpse of another naked human being they will be screwed up for life.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yea I've always wondered why if there is any nudity in a film it's automatically rated R (at least), but there are loads of PG-13 movies that show bodies being gunned down like it's running out of style. I think it's an American thing because AFAIK it's the opposite in most other countries.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

There is a lot of validity to the OP. Hell, I feel somewhat weird hugging my nephew and niece in front of other people. From what you hear, there are so many "pedophile uncles" out there, that I can't help but think "Don't look like weird uncle...Don't look like weird uncle..." the whole time I'm playing with my nephew.

For a 28 year old I'm pretty athletic still so him and I will begin to wrestle around a lot, which probably doesn't help! [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Often times he'll lead me up to his room and we'll pillowfight while he stands on his bed or whatever and again, a weird feeling ensues, but as long as he's laughing and having a good time, I'm not going to care what my sister-in-law or whoever may or may not be worrying about.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

i agree with people saying that parents are way to paranoid about this stuff. that said, i cant really see myself letting my kids spend time around adult males without my supervision.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
i agree with people saying that parents are way to paranoid about this stuff. that said, i cant really see myself letting my kids spend time around adult males without my supervision.

[/ QUOTE ]

That pretty much sums up the attitudes a lot of people have.

I have an experience that I think pretty well illustrates the difference between how men and women are viewed in regards to children.

While in college I had a girlfriend who loved working with kids (in fact she's now director of a preschool). She wanted to do some volunteer work with a big brothers/big sisters program, and somehow convinced me to come do it, too.

She had her interview one day. She told me about it afterward--she came in and was taken to an office with a big open window to the outside where she and the program director (also a woman) basically had light chit-chat for like 20 mins then spent 5 mins going over the technicalities of the program. It was basically assumed from the getgo that she was hired.

The next day was my interview. They knew that my gf was vouching for me but regardless I was led into a small backroom with a one-way mirror along one wall and I was grilled for over an hour. No idle chit-chat, these were all pointed questions, where half the time it seemed the answer didn't matter so much as my general reaction to the question. I felt under a microscope.

I was eventually taken on as a volunteer, but when my gf and I shared stories afterwards she was amazed at the stark contrast in experiences. Me, not so much.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

Wow, the concepts in this thread are foreign to me. I mean, I get the idea, but the degree seems way overdone.

I guess I'm still a kid myself, and I've always had younger siblings around, just seemed normal to do things with them; then again, I understand the attitude of the two posts above this one. I just wish it didn't have to be that way.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
I also don't get why many people in the US apparently believe that if a child catches one glimpse of another naked human being they will be screwed up for life.

[/ QUOTE ]

The US has a strong religious background (specifically, Christian) and one of the basic tenants of Christianity seems to that one's body is evil, as is sex. This systematic suppression of people's sexuality of course came from pre-contraception times when people were also largely uneducated and so that was the method of social control available to the powers that be.

The present fear of the human body is a remnant of that. It is archaic and probably more destructive to people's sexual development than 24-hour open-access porn channels, but if you so much as make a peep about this fear of course you get shouted down as some sort of pervert and have to contend with the "won't somebody think of the children??!?!" crowd.

People like nothing more than to maintain whatever status quo they're accustomed to, after all.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
Sounds very paranoid and irrational.


[/ QUOTE ]

Pretty much sums up the general US attitude towards anything.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
I was walking my dog the other day and two neighborhood kids, about 6 years old and playing in their yard, come running up wanting to meet and pet the dog. I kneel down and talk to them, letting them play with him, asking them their names, etc...

And suddenly a blood curdling SCREAM goes up from the house and the kids' mother comes running out, terror on her face. She grabs the kids and runs back in before I can even say "hi."

Granted, I was wearing these:
http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b1...ather_buns.jpg

but come on!

[/ QUOTE ]

What gives? Those are normal in my neck of the woods.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

Wow, she is not very neighborly. The least she could have done was invited you in for some hotcross buns.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

I recently got a new job and moved to a new town. The job started 3 weeks before my lease so my boss offered to let me stay at his place. One of the first evenings I was there I was jumping on his trampoline when the boss's 5 year old son got on and joined me. Not long after that the boy seemed insistent on showing me his new scooby doo underwear. I was terrified the boy would pull down his pants as his father was walking out to the backyard. Luckily I was able to shift the kids attention to something else. A couple days later he was running amock throughout the house and back yard stark naked and my fears were proven unfounded. However in a new city with a new job at the bosses place with his 5 year old kid I was terrified as it happened.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

I used to be a delivery driver for a while, and once was making a delivery in a quite rural section of SW VA. I stopped at a trailer to deliver a package, and rang the doorbell. A young girl of around 8 opened the door wearing nothing at all and I felt relieved about getting the package delievered but terrified of getting a signature. I asked her if her mommy was home and she smiled and said something n a muffled whisper to her probable sibling, another naked child. In appalachia, it isn't terribly uncommon for prepubescent children to go about naked, a good example of this is found in the photography of Sally Mann, who actually lives arond 5 miles from my home. Because of this culture I wasn't too woried, and the 8 year old seemed to understand when she sent her younger sister to go get her mother. She sood there naked for a few minutes not in any way perceptbly conscious of herself, and then whenher mother arrived she made light conversation about the oppressie hea and ofer me a soda. I tok the soda and agreed with her observations. But outside of the remote country it is just like I undertsand other areas of the country to be.

Cam

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
You think the kid grabbing your leg was bad...
... I left that po-dunk redneck cowtown shortly thereafter.

[/ QUOTE ]

That sounds like an absolute nightmare situation. But you are right how can the father put his children in that position THEN take the moral high ground.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
I think this article, and you, are blowing things way out of proportion. I worked as a gymnastics coach all through high school and college and never had a hint of a problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

Well maybe you're just running good.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
Granted, I was wearing these:
but come on!

[/ QUOTE ]

ha ha ha ha ha

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
Okay, you felt offended. Understandable. The mom's reaction is also 100% understandable and fine. DUCY?

[/ QUOTE ]

No. She's part of the problem. It's her responsibility to get to know the people living around her a little better, if she's going to raise children in that environment.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

[ QUOTE ]
i agree with people saying that parents are way to paranoid about this stuff. that said, i cant really see myself letting my kids spend time around adult males without my supervision.

[/ QUOTE ]

Terrible attitude, and I don't necessarily blame you. Its the ridiculous media that hypes these stories constantly. The crimes that you hear about everyday against children occured just as frequently 50 years ago, but there wasn't the media there is today to strike fear into everyone. God I'm so glad I grew up 25-30 years ago and had the freedom I did as a child.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

Sorry this is long. I hope some of you read this and give me some responses/answers.

Wow. I never really have this feeling and hope you guys didn't just instill this fear/nervousness in me since I read this thread.

I have been working at an elementary school as a tutor since I was a freshman in college and just started my third year there on Monday. Since I have worked with about 6 different teachers and with the relatively big after school program for 6 hours a week for the entire school year each of the last two years, I know a lot of the people at the school. I'd estimate that I know probably half of the kids in 3rd grade or higher and maybe another 10% of the younger kids and have worked with all of these kids in some fashion over the past two years.

When I walked into the class I was helping today, with a teacher that I helped last year, I knew all but two of the kids and probably about 5 or 6 of them came up and gave me a hug right away. I didn't really feel like I had done anything inappropriate and don't see why this would be looked at in a negative light by anyone really. Also, one of the kids I worked with today walked into the library and saw a tutor that he worked with last year (there are about 40 tutors from my college at this elementary school) and gave her a hug, which seemed completely normal to me. The tutoring program emphasizes building relationships at the school and with the kids although it is in a school environment. There really just isn't a way that an eight year old won't come up to you and say hi if you see him out somewhere after working with him for two hours a week for a year.

Is this the kind of thing that is being looked at as weird and suspicious from the third person perspective or is this an entirely different scenario that I'm presenting since there is already some kind of relationship? Could someone please explain why observers/parents are so concerned about this as it seems very irrational to me? Maybe I'm just naive since I'm 20 years old, but this view that is apparently pretty prevalent seems odd to me. I'm obviously a guy since that seems to be important to this response.


On a completely different note, I often gave several of my teachers hugs in high school at the end of the year and most of the other people in my classes did as well. Is this only applicable in the female student, male teacher situation or does it go both ways?


Also, to those of you who are high school teachers: if there is a fight does everything get thrown out the window or do you still proceed with caution? I'm asking this because my dad is a teacher in a poorish inner city high school with a lot of gang activity and basically says its a free for all in fights where male teachers and coaches essentially throw people against the walls when a fight breaks out. This also goes for fights involving girls.

Re: scared of being nice to kids -
 

kinda strange thread

up until 2 months ago i lived in a neighborhood with lots of kids, i didn't feel any of this, all the parents knew me and i would sometimes skateboard or play football or whatever in the street w/ the kids w/ the parents elsewhere

there were one or two kids who would come over if they got home before their parents and were locked out, and the parents of one of the high school girls would ask me to go pick her up from school or drop her off sometimes.... i would sometimes drive her and one of her girl friends somewhere

i lived w/ my gf, but i was usually the only one home, since she worked late

most of the kids called me uncle... lol...... hawaiian thing... it got on my nerves at first, but then i thought it was cute

i'm 32...