Two Plus Two Newer Archives

Two Plus Two Newer Archives (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/index.php)
-   Other Other Topics (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/forumdisplay.php?f=36)
-   -   Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=500993)

youtalkfunny 09-14-2007 12:35 PM

Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
Rachel Ray is evil. That's all I can figure.

My wife watches "30 Minute Meals" every day, even though she can't prepare any meal that doesn't end in "___-Helper" (Hamburger Helper, Tuna Helper, etc).

She buys every magazine that has Rachel Ray on the cover.

Now there's a talk show, as well. I'm sitting on the computer, and she's watching YouKnowWho on the tv. Suddenly, the tv goes mute. I turn around to see if wifey is still in the room. She is. I'm confused.

I look at the tv, where there's a close-up of a syringe going into an old lady's nose.

"AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH! WTF are you watching???"

"Rachel Ray. That's why I muted it, I knew you didn't want to see/hear what they were doing."

"And you still watch it??? She's got you under her spell, I swear to Christ!"

Wifey really gets upset when I crack jokes about the size of Rachel Ray's mouth. "What are you watching, The Muppets?", or, "Looks like 'Jaws' coming at us!"

http://www.bfeedme.com/wp-content/up...achael_ray.jpg

RoundGuy 09-14-2007 12:37 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
She eats way too much of the food she makes. Serving for four, no problem, I'll eat it....

Autocratic 09-14-2007 12:38 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
Start talking about how much you want to bang her. Your wife will find a new show in no time.

SNOWBALL 09-14-2007 12:42 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
Start talking about how much you want to bang her. Your wife will gain 30 lbs and start dressing like a gypsy in no time.

[/ QUOTE ]

AquaSwing 09-14-2007 12:48 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
She better be a demon in the sack because I don't see much else that's good about her. I'm talking about Rachel Ray, not your wife.

Oliver Nipples 09-14-2007 12:57 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
Rachel Ray is evil, especially during her college years.

felson 09-14-2007 01:01 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
rachel ray's grating voice makes me want to scream.

RoundGuy 09-14-2007 01:07 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
She better be a demon in the sack because I don't see much else that's good about her. I'm talking about Rachel Ray, not your wife.

[/ QUOTE ]
I can vouch for the fact that OP's wife is indeed a demon in the sack.

pokergrader 09-14-2007 01:44 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
I can vouch for the fact that Rachel Ray is in fact a demon in the sack.

NT! 09-14-2007 01:56 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
my lady friend watches this crap too. i tried auto's suggestion and mentioned how much i would like to hate-[censored] that stupid loud bitch. Ms. NT's response: 'yeah i could see that.'

gumpzilla 09-14-2007 01:59 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
I'd be pretty happy just regular [censored] her, no hate involved. Then again, for the most part I've avoided the braying, so maybe my feelings would change.

z28dreams 09-14-2007 02:07 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
rachel ray's grating voice makes me want to scream.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree - that combined with her over-the-top fake bubbly personality drive me crazy.

I'd still hit it though.

Anacardo 09-14-2007 02:09 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
my lady friend watches this crap too. i tried auto's suggestion and mentioned how much i would like to hate-[censored] that stupid loud bitch. Ms. NT's response: 'yeah i could see that.'

[/ QUOTE ]

NT,

Have I mentioned how awesome your woman is?

Holybull 09-14-2007 02:09 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
I really like Rachel Ray.

ohgeetee 09-14-2007 02:14 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
Rachel Ray owns me. I would do so many nasty things to her.

offTopic 09-14-2007 02:18 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
I can vouch for the fact that Rachel Ray is in fact a demon in the sack.

[/ QUOTE ]

RR's mouth -> Extra Voracious Oral Orgasm

Anacardo 09-14-2007 02:21 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
Not your finest work but I'm gonna applaud the effort.

RoundGuy 09-14-2007 03:02 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
RR's mouth -> Extra Voracious Oral Orgasm

[/ QUOTE ]
LOL. [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img] I can't wait to throw this one at my wife the next time Rachel says EVOO.

Alobar 09-14-2007 03:03 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I can vouch for the fact that Rachel Ray is in fact a demon in the sack.

[/ QUOTE ]

RR's mouth -> Extra Voracious Oral Orgasm

[/ QUOTE ]

even tho shes fat, she doesnt strike me as the type who gives head. Shes more the lay there and make you do all the work type

amplify 09-14-2007 03:08 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
I suppose it beats an Oprah Obsession.

stabn 09-14-2007 03:08 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
At least she isn't obsessed with Paula Deen. Stupid FOS fake southern "hey ya'll" [censored].

Los Feliz Slim 09-14-2007 03:15 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
A friend of mine's 10 year old son has a crush on Rachel Ray. This means he's gay, right?

Oh, and I'd ring her bell like Quasimodo.

gumpzilla 09-14-2007 03:21 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
A friend of mine's 10 year old son has a crush on Rachel Ray. This means he's gay, right?

Oh, and I'd ring her bell like Quasimodo.

[/ QUOTE ]

LFS,

I am pleased that you find OOT an acceptable venue for coming out. We are here for you in your time of need.

bernie 09-14-2007 03:25 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
Rachel Ray owns me. I would do so many nasty things to her.

[/ QUOTE ]

RacersEdge 09-14-2007 03:30 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
I saw her in person a couple years ago and she looked much less chunky. Cute ass.

Holybull 09-14-2007 03:36 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
She probably smells though. She uses hella garlic in everything she cooks.

4 High 09-14-2007 03:53 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
My wife loves the food network and Rachel Ray but shes also an excellent cook.

Quicksilvre 09-14-2007 03:56 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I can vouch for the fact that Rachel Ray is in fact a demon in the sack.

[/ QUOTE ]

RR's mouth -> Extra Voracious Oral Orgasm

[/ QUOTE ]

Genuine LOL, very nice sir.

bdk3clash 09-14-2007 03:57 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
Rachel Ray money shot compilation

NT! 09-14-2007 04:03 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
Rachel Ray money shot compilation

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

___SK___ 09-14-2007 04:06 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
Rachel Ray money shot compilation

[/ QUOTE ]

This one is actually funny

entertainme 09-14-2007 04:07 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
Look for the proverbial silver lining.

She could be possessed by Martha Stewart. [img]/images/graemlins/crazy.gif[/img]

bdk3clash 09-14-2007 04:11 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Rachel Ray money shot compilation

[/ QUOTE ]

This one is actually funny

[/ QUOTE ]
Awesome. "Just put your finger in the butt."

Alobar 09-14-2007 04:30 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
I saw her in person a couple years ago and she looked much less chunky. Cute ass.

[/ QUOTE ]

thats cuz a couple years ago she wasnt as fat. She got married and then immediately packed on the pounds

Blarg 09-14-2007 04:40 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
When you're married and have an empire, I guess you've got license to do pretty much whatever you want, forever.

Blarg 09-14-2007 04:45 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Rachel Ray money shot compilation

[/ QUOTE ]

This one is actually funny

[/ QUOTE ]
Awesome. "Just put your finger in the butt."

[/ QUOTE ]

"It comes through your pores, so I always wind up smelling like a salami."

I was laughing hard through a bunch of this. Really good.

offTopic 09-14-2007 05:01 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I can vouch for the fact that Rachel Ray is in fact a demon in the sack.

[/ QUOTE ]

RR's mouth -> Extra Voracious Oral Orgasm

[/ QUOTE ]

even tho shes fat, she doesnt strike me as the type who gives head. Shes more the lay there and make you do all the work type

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree...right before she starts, she'll tell you, "This is the way my grandma used to do this..."

Dudd 09-14-2007 05:04 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Rachel Ray money shot compilation

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I can't imagine actually going out to eat with someone who reacts like that, why does the food network make all their people do that?

[ QUOTE ]

I disagree...right before she starts, she'll tell you, "This is the way my grandma used to do this..."


[/ QUOTE ]

Also, 10-1 says that EVOO is her lubricant of choice.

Dids 09-14-2007 05:11 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
She's not really fat at all, she's just got fat like proportions.

I bought 3 of her books a while ago, they all suck.

Blarg 09-14-2007 05:36 PM

Re: Rachel Ray has my wife under a spell
 
Yeah she is, if you've seen her lately. She's got some badonka donk starting to pick up some real momentum.


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:33 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.