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-   -   ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious question (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=500526)

EricW 09-13-2007 07:20 PM

ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious question
 
So anyways, I'm sure you all know that I'm trying different things this time around so everyday is a new experience for me. I dunno how I feel about these new experiences though. On one hand, I really want to learn about humans, but on the other, I'm just so shy and disgusting looking that I feel like I'm drained each day.

Anyways, this is a 2 part story with an important serious question near the end.


Part One:

This morning, I rushed to my bus and saw some chick there with quite the butter face. I thought nothing of it because even though I'm a real life version of Kirk, I'm quite picky.

So I stood around with my head phones on, listening to the Rocky IV soundtrack trying to get pumped up for the day and then all of a sudden, she asks me if I go to UBC as well. I thought: "Oh [censored], this is a 1.5 hour bus ride, do I have to talk to this girl for the whole time?"

So while I was thinking that, my penis moved a little because I saw her chest. She had big boobs. Her face is not so bad that only a mother can love it, but I wouldn't be proud of it. Anyways, because of the slight penis movement, I decided to continue on.

So while we were talking, I realized that the ways of the Russians are quite different from the ways of the N. Americans. She had only been here for 4 years so she's probably not accustomed our ways. This was apparent in oone of our exchanges: She started asking me where I lived and I gave her an ambiguous answer. Then she started to press. I gave a little more detailed, yet ambiguous answer. She then asked me for my house number. I realize that this may be the norm for Russians, but I was slightly uncomfortable. Nonetheless, I told her and she told me and she's just 2 houses away from me.

While talking, my penis did move slightly for the whole convo. I was thinking "hmmmm she's probably lonely, perhaps I can try to move the penis movement in my pants to some penis movement into her vagine. But then I had a terrifying thought: If she's so unaccostomed to our ways, what happens if she had a very hairy vagine? I'm not a fan of those even though I've never seen a vagine in real life.

Anyways, our convo lasted for the whole 1.5 hours without any awkward pauses are stopages. What does this mean? I don't know. But if anything happens with the potentially hairy vagine, I'll let you guys know.


Part Two: Triumphant Again!

So in my last class of the day (not socio), I'm with the German chick (who's SRSLY an 8+ and most likely out of my league). Also, a good thing about this class is that a dude from my high school is also in my class. This guy is a cool guy unlike me so by default, it makes me look cooler.

Yesterday after the socio class, I ran into her when I was talking to some other chick I knew. I told the German that I'd look for her in class today so we had a decent exchange.

Today, before class, I saw her when I was trying to look cool with the guy I know. I went up to her and we started talking. We talked when I was in class. Things were natural and good even though I had no idea what I was doing because interacting with the humans is foreign to me.

Anyways, the prof asked for 2 volunteers to help demonstrate an experiment. This was a lecture size class so there's about 100 people. Going up to the front was extremely nerve racking but since I'm trying different things, I bravely put up my arm and she called me down. While walking down, I was thinking of the Rocky IV songs to try and pump me up. Unfortunately, I was thinking of "Bad Connection" (a love song) on there so I wasn't really pumped.

Anyways, the experiment called for an "experimenter" and a subject. The experimenter was to squirt various solutions onto the tip of the subject's mouth while the subject is blind folded. Upon hearing this when I was at the front of the class I said loudly: "Ummm do you want me to wash my hands? I mean they're kinda clean but since I'm putting stuff in someone's mouth... I have some hand sanitizer in my bag"

Upon hearing the first few words, there was a burst of laughter. I felt a rush of manhood going through my veins.

A hot, big bossomed blonde girl volunteered to be the subject. The prof told me to be careful and not get it all over the girl's shirt. She had a really low cut shirt so all I was thinking of was her nice bossoms. The girl even said: "please try not to get any on me!" Upon hearing what the girl said I spoke out: "Don't worry, I'll be gentle [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]" which induced a loud laugh from everyone.

Throughout the experiment, I told her to stick out her tongue out more, to lean back etc all with slight sexual innuendos. People laughed.

---------------

So this is great, I have projected to the German that i'm a "affable", "popular" guy when in fact, I'm just like Kirk.

Here's a few questions:

The German has yet to mention a boyfriend or fiance or whatever. She did tell me that she moved here a few years ago because she was serious with her ex. Here's the confusing part when I look on her finger where you wear the wedding rings, she has two rings, neither of which are traditional 1 large diamond rings that most married women wear. She has 1 silver ring on that finger, and another one that crosses it with small diamonds running across the whole ring.

Is she engaged? How the [censored] can I find out? I don't want to waste my time with her if I have no chance at all.

Also, that hot chick who did the experiment with me sits on the other side of class. How do I go about talking to her when the German always sits with me?


edit: subject was blind folded during experiment

Lurker. 09-13-2007 07:21 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
hi eric
Edit: with the butterface, i'd just whip it out. she seems pretty easy. GL friend.

Abones 09-13-2007 07:32 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious question
 
[ QUOTE ]
But then I had a terrifying thought: If she's so unaccostomed to our ways, what happens if she had a very hairy vagine? I'm not a fan of those even though I've never seen a vagine in real life.

[/ QUOTE ]

Awesome

phobos 09-13-2007 07:39 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
[ QUOTE ]
hi eric
Edit: with the butterface, i'd just whip it out. she seems pretty easy. GL friend.

[/ QUOTE ]
yeah qft she obv likes you, this will work 10 times out of 10

Hume 09-13-2007 07:51 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/2995/jamestov2.jpg
or
http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/7...angunn2gz3.jpg
?

RivaLiva 09-13-2007 08:26 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
or http://friendlyatheist.com/wp-conten...06/08/Kirk.jpg

Keep talking with Russian, ask for some digits or since you guys live by each other to walk home/hang out sometime.....Beware of Mafia....Everyone else good luck.
German may have Husband/Fiance. I would keep talking but beware.
The hot blonde girl... Maybe try to strike convo SOON asking if you got anything on her/anything related to class. Hopefully that will start something but that may be a stretch.

Dan87 09-13-2007 09:02 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
go up to the experiment girl and say "that was fun, me putting things in your mouth and stuff, wanna do it again sometime?"

works 10/10 times

EricW 09-13-2007 09:16 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
the thing is about that hot blonde, she sits with an ugly girl. Her friend looks like a female version of nation and nation is barf enough as a man so a female version is worse.

So just by extrapolating with the one thing, I'm gonna go on the assumption that her friends are ugly and that OBVSLY means many other things

kkcountry 09-13-2007 09:25 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
IN BEFORE EDFURLONG!!!!!1111oneone

http://z.about.com/d/tvdramas/1/0/u/4/seangunn.jpg

CompleteDonk 09-13-2007 09:29 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
<3

highhustla 09-13-2007 09:33 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
[ QUOTE ]
the thing is about that hot blonde, she sits with an ugly girl. Her friend looks like a female version of nation and nation is barf enough as a man so a female version is worse.

So just by extrapolating with the one thing, I'm gonna go on the assumption that her friends are ugly and that OBVSLY means many other things

[/ QUOTE ]

could you please, tell us a little more?

gogogo on the Russian vagine btw. Also, if you have truthfully never seen a real vagine, the hairstyle is not stopping you. But gogogo. Good writing and I expect good TR.

kylephilly 09-13-2007 09:41 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t...kvanhousen.jpg

T-God 09-13-2007 09:59 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
OMG Russian Starla!

kylephilly 09-13-2007 09:59 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
Is this the?

http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t.../ericwcopy.jpg

CompleteDonk 09-13-2007 09:59 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
so do we know fur sure that EW isnt a gimmick?

Dan87 09-13-2007 10:01 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
I could probably find out for sure since he lives in the same city as me, but I am fearful of what I might discover.

Conspire 09-13-2007 10:01 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
EricW is not a gimmick, u have the Conspire guarantee.

CompleteDonk 09-13-2007 10:02 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
gogoggogogogo

T-God 09-13-2007 10:04 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
[ QUOTE ]
Is this the?

http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t.../ericwcopy.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]
Opposite of dignity IMO.

EricW 09-13-2007 11:32 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
oh and this is quoted from the german:

"Ya people always say I look younger than I am... bla bla bla... ya some people are having families now and I'm like what the [censored]? Even at 25 that's insane!"

[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Georgia Avenue 09-14-2007 12:18 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
pesky humans

highhustla 09-14-2007 02:49 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
[ QUOTE ]
oh and this is quoted from the german:

"Ya people always say I look younger than I am... bla bla bla... ya some people are having families now and I'm like what the [censored]? Even at 25 that's insane!"

[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] -- [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[img]/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img] gogogo.

EricW 09-14-2007 02:51 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
we have an 8 person group project coming up and we pretty much already have 5 people in our group (my buddy, and the German are in my group OBVSLY). I'm gonna go up to that big boobed hot blond on Tuesday and ask her if she and her ugly friend would like to join our group.

Hopefully I'll get her to sit with us so I can pay attention to her more and pay less attention to the German.

nutshot2 09-14-2007 02:53 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
yo ericw

i saw bill bellamy

and [censored] allegra the frehsman bitch

shes gona be at magies tomrorow

ill let u know how it goes

friends forever

EricW 09-14-2007 02:54 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
[ QUOTE ]
yo ericw

i saw bill bellamy

and [censored] allegra the frehsman bitch

shes gona be at magies tomrorow

ill let u know how it goes

friends forever

[/ QUOTE ]

BFF indeed but I have no idea wtf you were just talking about

young Nut 09-14-2007 03:59 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
russian: nail that pun man. What is stopping you? She lives two houses down from you, that is perfect. Just ask her over from drinks or something the next time you see her. Butterface or not, a good body is not to be passed up. And you should know that all Russians are butterfaces after they turn 30. So hit it and quit it.

German chick: She is still out of your league. Even though you are trying to put on the cool guy persona, she won't fall for it. Try your best, but without some good game, you are bound for failure. So just nail the Russian.

And for god sakes, hairy vag or not, you need to hit something.

cwes 09-14-2007 07:13 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
The rings she's wearing most likely mean [censored]. It's popular among german twens to wear a [censored] of rings. Also marrying at an age below 30 isn't popular among higher educated Germans.

its_just_me 09-14-2007 08:07 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
[ QUOTE ]
Also marrying at an age below 30 isn't popular among higher educated Germans.

[/ QUOTE ]
probably the only good thing about germany...besides the beer and of course jägermeister

EvanJC 09-14-2007 08:38 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious question
 
[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

mastr 09-14-2007 10:02 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
for the first time EVAR i believe him to not be a gimmick.

Funkert 09-14-2007 10:03 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
[ QUOTE ]
oh and this is quoted from the german:

"ya some people are having families now and I'm like what the [censored]? Even at 25 that's insane!"

[/ QUOTE ]

that's something single people say that are dissapointed so many of their friends stopped partying etc. (i say it all the time [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] )

you have options my man....... eventhough you may not get to sleep with either one, you've got 3 'projects' to work on which is already half the fun.
Whatever you do, never stop talking to one of the girls because you think it'll upset another. them iz jealouz creaturez, and knowing that other girls like you, talk to you, hang with you can do nothing but increase the chance that u'll nail one.

Also, i think russian girls often do shave. They're a 'sexual' kind of people, and their girls often pay much attention to their appearance. Its the german you have to worry about. I've had little under two hands full of german girls in my life, and i think about half of them didnt shave.. (varying from a little annoying hair to BIG BABOOSHKA JUNGLE HAIR). And i do think alot of hair can spoil your first time... it'll prevent you from seeing the vaj in its full glory

/end words of wisdom

post TR if anything goes down, good or bad.

rjoefish 09-14-2007 10:40 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
one ring is the engagement ring and the other with the diamonds going over it is the wedding ring, ldo.

kylephilly 09-14-2007 10:51 AM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
I never realized how long ago Eric W joined..

Amazing

EricW 09-14-2007 05:12 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
K, two things:

1. I think there's some miscommunication about the Russian's body. By no means is it hot. She got a little junk in the trunk, but not so much that she's a GA type of girl but to say that it's hot is a gross over statement.

2. I see the German pretty much everyday and we sit together all the time. In fact, we'll be working on a group project together and I'll probably end up studying with her for various things throughout the year. Now how can I avoid getting into the "friends" zone provided that she's single?

I mean I can't do the "hey, want to come over to my place for a movie" deal because I live kinda far away from campus and she lives close to it. I don't want to end up like a goofyballer here.

cwes 09-14-2007 05:25 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
[ QUOTE ]
2. I see the German pretty much everyday and we sit together all the time. In fact, we'll be working on a group project together and I'll probably end up studying with her for various things throughout the year. Now how can I avoid getting into the "friends" zone provided that she's single?

I mean I can't do the "hey, want to come over to my place for a movie" deal because I live kinda far away from campus and she lives close to it. I don't want to end up like a goofyballer here.

[/ QUOTE ]
a. Nail her asap.

b. No you won't be working together on the group project. She'll be working on it while you party it up. Of course tell her to put your name on it, too.

c. She lives close to campus? Great, just use her place as if it were your own.

d. profit.

e. yw.

Punker 09-14-2007 05:46 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious question
 
Take her hand with your glove of love.

chuckbomb 09-14-2007 06:02 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
[ QUOTE ]
I think there's some miscommunication about the Russian's body. By no means is it hot. She got a little junk in the trunk, but not so much that she's a GA type of girl but to say that it's hot is a gross over statement.


[/ QUOTE ]




Then the Russian is not a butterface.


























DUCY?

Fingerswinger 09-14-2007 06:47 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
[ QUOTE ]
we have an 8 person group project coming up and we pretty much already have 5 people in our group (my buddy, and the German are in my group OBVSLY). I'm gonna go up to that big boobed hot blond on Tuesday and ask her if she and her ugly friend would like to join our group.

[/ QUOTE ]

that's a solid plan, but when you ask her, make sure you don't actually SAY "you and your ugly friend", OK?

because she might be somewhat offended by the word "ugly", even if it's her friend that you call ugly.

gl

Lurker. 09-14-2007 06:49 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
we have an 8 person group project coming up and we pretty much already have 5 people in our group (my buddy, and the German are in my group OBVSLY). I'm gonna go up to that big boobed hot blond on Tuesday and ask her if she and her ugly friend would like to join our group.

[/ QUOTE ]

that's a solid plan, but when you ask her, make sure you don't actually SAY "you and your ugly friend", OK?

because she might be somewhat offended by the word "ugly", even if it's her friend that you call ugly.

gl

[/ QUOTE ]
she knows her friend is ugly...why you think she rolls with her?

SuperNooB 09-14-2007 08:24 PM

Re: ZOMG butter face russian + super triumph in class + serious questi
 
Russians are into S & M http://www.mike-myers.net/dieter5.jpg


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