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-   -   So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=477070)

Ogre691 08-14-2007 04:52 AM

So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
So awhile ago I was dating this chick... we had been together about a year, and we were bangin and [censored] like all the time but there was one problem. She wouldn't let me stick it in her ass. We'd talk about it but she'd be like there is no way that is getting up there yadda yadda. Pic of girl for reference:

http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/4258/exgfms0.jpg

She's the one in the middle obv.

Anyway, this one night we were at her mothers house (home for the summer from uni she was staying with her mom) and she had just got out of the shower cause we had just finished playing racquetball. (I showered at the gym she didn't like to for some reason)

So she comes back to her room all clean and looking mighty fine so we get to making out and [censored] and I start finger bangin her y'know and she is loving it and is right horny so I already got her naked and I'm just in my boxers and I start going down and her and [censored]. Anyways I got her going pretty good and for some reason this crazy idea pops in to my head.

I'm thinking, [censored] she's never gonna be any cleaner than right now, so I'm like, baby, do you think I could lick your ass? (trying to warm her up for anal play LDO) and she's like I dunno, why would you want to. And I was like c'mon baby maybe you'll like it, plus your all cleaned up now right? And she's like well I guess so, if you really want to.

So anyway, this isn't really something I was planning on doing, but this girl had such a tight little ass I just wanted it so bad.

Anyways, she gets down on all fours doggystyle like, and then lick her pussy a couple more times and then I go in for the kill.


But just as my tongue just barely touches her anus, it happens.








She farts.




Right on my tongue.

And then she giggles.

And then I.... taste it.

I am so disgusted I ran out of her room and right across the hall to the bathroom, in my boxers, right in front of her mother who happened to be coming up the hall, and then I proceed to throw up for a solid ten minutes, like disgusting dry heaving puke. I here her mother asking her if I am alright, I then proceed to walk back in to her room, her and her mother are both there, I don't say a word, put on my pants and shirt and leave.

The thing that bothered me the most about this was that she giggled, so I thought she might have been holding it in and released it at the most opportune time for her own sick enjoyment.

I got other it after a week though, kept seeing/screwing her, until she cheated on me a year later.

Cliffnotes / tl;dr:

Brag: Bangin hot chick for over 2 years, while I am less than attractive myself.
Beat: Taste of ass on my tongue:
Variance: Mother never brought incident up again.

DanJ. 08-14-2007 04:58 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
hahahahah

joes28 08-14-2007 04:59 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
nice. If you didnt get anal after that you are the one who go butt [censored].

fwiw, i still jacked off to this story.

A+ would read again....

side note: One of my buddies gives his girlfriend rim jobs all the time, and i guess she likes it, but still wont let him anywhere near her ass with the pole. I guess she thinks they are even since she also gives him rim jobs. I thought this was borderline gay at first, but he assured me that it feels really good.

PS, if you were smart u would have cupped that [censored] in your mouth and blew it back in her face FTW.

Conspire 08-14-2007 05:01 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[x] thread delivers
[ ] OP is telling the truth
[ ] Op is a credible poster

Funkert 08-14-2007 05:01 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
awesome read, though i wouldnt describe her as "hot chick" ....
great body, true, but i can see why u'd prefer her from the back ^^

p.s. this will mostlikely suffice too:

http://www.skypejournal.com/blog/arc...0x300thumb.jpg

Asheh 08-14-2007 05:02 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
best thread ever

[x] delivers

Kevroc 08-14-2007 05:02 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
http://www.stickergiant.com/Merchant...50/hsb2188.gif

FINGERBANG!

wet work 08-14-2007 05:03 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
LOL. FWIW, that chic looks like she definitely takes it in the butt.

Ogre691 08-14-2007 05:11 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
http://img463.imageshack.us/img463/6113/exfacezt2.jpg


Better pic of her face... on left obv...I know I've been a lurker for awhile but me and my buddys were talking about this tonight and I remembered how funny it was so I said WTF BBV4L

T.J. Combo 08-14-2007 05:16 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
She prob told her mom all about it right after you left.

ManChild 08-14-2007 05:20 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[ QUOTE ]
She prob told her mom all about it right after you left.

[/ QUOTE ]


HAHAHA, AMAZING AND TRUE

NicksDad1970 08-14-2007 05:23 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
"PS, if you were smart u would have cupped that [censored] in your mouth and blew it back in her face FTW."


perfect

Kevroc 08-14-2007 05:27 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[ QUOTE ]
She probably thanked her mom for the green bean casserole for dinner right after you left.

[/ QUOTE ]

CompleteDonk 08-14-2007 05:29 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
LOL

chh 08-14-2007 05:38 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
lol fartaments

CaseS87 08-14-2007 06:04 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[ QUOTE ]
http://img463.imageshack.us/img463/6113/exfacezt2.jpg


Better pic of her face... on left obv...I know I've been a lurker for awhile but me and my buddys were talking about this tonight and I remembered how funny it was so I said WTF BBV4L

[/ QUOTE ]

OMG WEHAT IS WRONG WITH HER FACE

im a model 08-14-2007 06:09 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
bitch got a dog face yo

Compit 08-14-2007 06:15 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
If you didn't avenge yourself after getting fart-mouthed and then cheated on this is a huge life beat.

I think next sex after fart-mouthing I would have would had her go down on me and then take a little leak. Seems fair. She's actually coming out best I'd say.

As played, she will be telling the fart face story the rest of her life and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

Lesson: If you're going to do something perverted to a chick, always get something equally perverted as colateral.

KSOT 08-14-2007 07:36 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
Y'allz a buncha idiots. This never happened.

4drugmoney 08-14-2007 07:41 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
This same thing happened to be while I was eating out this girl. Pretty sick. But Ive farted at least 5 times while getting head, so it evens out.

VespaRally 08-14-2007 08:00 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
http://img463.imageshack.us/img463/6113/exfacezt2.jpg


Better pic of her face... on left obv...I know I've been a lurker for awhile but me and my buddys were talking about this tonight and I remembered how funny it was so I said WTF BBV4L

[/ QUOTE ]

OMG WEHAT IS WRONG WITH HER FACE

[/ QUOTE ]

For some reason this pic has me rolling.

The [censored] British.

brilliant. in't it?

VespaRally 08-14-2007 08:05 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
That chick on the right is as unabashedly randy as they come baby. Chablis.

Astyanax 08-14-2007 08:22 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
haha

Wolverine 08-14-2007 08:26 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[ QUOTE ]
The [censored] British.

[/ QUOTE ]

She's clearly American.

New2NL 08-14-2007 08:31 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
Good story,

OP where do you live on the dark side of the moon, does your Albino GF have a haunting fear of the sun? It seems that her friends do as well.

Must have been the brownest of all anus's since she is whiter than casper.

Scuba974 08-14-2007 09:24 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
man shes fat. i bet her farts smelt like donuts and candy

nation 08-14-2007 09:33 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
it's crazy how in the first pic the fart girl looks 100x better than the blonde chick but in the second one the blonde chick is prettier.

New2NL 08-14-2007 09:36 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[ QUOTE ]
it's crazy how in the first pic the fart girl looks 100x better than the blonde chick but in the second one the blonde chick is prettier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you blind? jesus they both are not great but the see through girl is worse. I don't know if thats a person or the 150 yard markers

RunyonAve 08-14-2007 10:12 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
OP, I thought you said she was hot?

New2NL 08-14-2007 10:17 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[ QUOTE ]
I thought you said she was hot?

[/ QUOTE ]

When did I say that

RunyonAve 08-14-2007 10:26 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
i was talking to OP, excuse the fact that i replied to your post.

boomshakalaka 08-14-2007 10:31 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
Im pretty sure this is real due to the pictures. Clearly he actually thought she was hot, if it was fake he woulda just found an actually hot girl.

cstone 08-14-2007 10:32 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[x] relax baby, i'm just taking a fart

boomshakalaka 08-14-2007 10:35 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[ QUOTE ]
[x] relax baby, i'm just taking a fart

[/ QUOTE ]

This is so obvious, yet so good, why didnt I think of this? I need to get better at the internets. Thank you for opening my eyes.

monkeyfightclub 08-14-2007 10:58 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[ QUOTE ]
[x] thread delivers
[ ] OP is telling the truth
[ ] Op is a credible poster

[/ QUOTE ]

cstone 08-14-2007 11:03 AM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[x] relax baby, i'm just taking a fart

[/ QUOTE ]

This is so obvious, yet so good, why didnt I think of this? I need to get better at the internets. Thank you for opening my eyes.

[/ QUOTE ]

i thought it was pretty obvious too, had to read the thread twice to make sure no one had posted it before me.

Georgia Avenue 08-14-2007 12:08 PM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
Nos1?

LionelHutz00 08-14-2007 12:19 PM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
lolololololololol A+

its_just_me 08-14-2007 12:21 PM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[ QUOTE ]
But just as my tongue just barely touches her anus

[/ QUOTE ]
erm...you sir are doing it wrong

easyrider0 08-14-2007 12:26 PM

Re: So I was with this girl...... [x] thread delivers w/ pic
 
[x] thread delivers
[ ] beat or just variance?
[x] choo choo


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