Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

About half way into a no limit session in an LA card barn a goofy, chatty friendly sort of player (I’ll call him “GCF guy”) sits down on my right. After a while between hands we engage in some goofy, friendly chat, mostly about stuff unrelated to poker.

Then this hand comes up.

GCF guy makes an average size raise UTG and I re-raise with aces. The rest of the field folds. The flop comes A-Q-4 rainbow so I’m pretty happy with top set. Fortunately for me lots of money for this size game goes in and before the turn betting the pot is about $500 or so.

The turn brings a ten completing the rainbow. GCF guy checks and I push all-in, which is a little more than the size of the pot. I have GCF guy covered by about $150 or so but sometimes the over-push with actual chip movement looks more like a bluff (as an aside I would simply declare all-in with someone who has played me before whether bluffing or value betting).

GCF guy goes into the tank. He asks the dealer to count my chips. The dealer tells him I cover but he asks for a count anyway. Meanwhile I have my head down maintaining total silence with my hands sort of covering my face and forehead. This is standard practice for me after I push. I’m an old man from the old school and don’t figure I need to practice looking animated or interesting in preparation for some future TV appearance or endorsement contract.

Through my partially covered eyes and ears I can feel, hear and almost see that GCF guy is huffing and puffing, scratching his head, shaking his head, moaning, sighing, and looking very uncomfortable. To put it more precisely if you were to take away the head scratching and keep him in his seat he’s sort of acting like a woman during real bad sex. This goes on for about three minutes, or about the amount of time one might engage in the aforementioned sex.

Meanwhile I’m not thinking about sex; I’m praying for the call but at the same time making sure my prayers aren’t visibly leaking out of my head.

After another minute or so he shakes his head in resignation one last time and finally says, “call” but softly. The dealer verifies the call (a good dealer for the city of angles, you never can be sure of a soft verbal call) and we are off to the river.

Rooting for a blank won’t help your game but I’m human so I silently root anyway. I’m thinking he might have KQ or QJ so for the most part I’m rooting not to see a king or a jack, which of course could make a possible inside straight.

The river comes some sort of baby blank. Since there is no river action he technically has to show first per LA card barn rules. He hesitates for a few seconds and of course I’m 100% sure I have him beat. Since I don’t want to embarrass him by forcing him to show what was surely a bad turn call I table my top set.

GCF guy doesn’t exactly make a bullet fold. Instead he repeats his performance from the turn, except it is a little shorter and less like sex since who can perform twice in five minutes (except of course woman and pubescent boys [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]). Finally he turns over one of his cards. It’s a king of something. He pauses for another moment. At least he stopped moaning. Now slowly, with perhaps a hint of sorrow he turns over another card. I figure he wants sympathy so I’m expecting a queen. It’s a paint but to my shock and horror it isn’t a queen; instead it’s a jack.

Since it was a full table eight pairs of eyebrows rise up simultaneously and I think most of the table is looking at me. The experienced dealer starts to push GCF guy the pot while probably wondering if for the first time in my poker “career” he might need to call security to make sure I don’t explode in a homicidal rage.

Somehow I maintain my composure and the next hand is played in a strange sort of silence. A hand or two later while the dealer is shuffling I turn to GCF guy and decide to help him a bit.

I start rather calmly, “Before I start I want to assure you that I’m not the type of guy I’m about to describe so you have nothing to worry about, especially given we had such a friendly conversation just ten minutes ago.”

“First, I want to make sure you did know you had the stone cold nuts on the turn.”

GCF guy says rather tepidly, “Yeah, I knew”.

I resume, “And you took about three minutes to call, pretending to hate every moment even though there was no further action possible. Then you took another minute to show the nuts on the river after I had the courtesy to show what to me seemed to be a certain winner first. Now I want to repeat I’m not one of those guys but a lot of players in this city would jump over the table and strangle you. And if you were in fact killed it might even be ruled justifiable homicide since you managed to combine a very, very slow call and a very, very slow roll all in one hand.”

GCF guy answers a little more brightly, “Sorry, but I just wanted to enjoy the moment.”

I guess the sex was better for him than I thought. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

~ Rick

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

What would Tommy Angelo do in this situation?

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

brutal. I hope you got all your chips back.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
What would Tommy Angelo do in this situation?

[/ QUOTE ]

Tommy would probably remain quiet and tiltless, being world class in game kmarma and tiltlessness.

That said, in the song Slowroller from his CD I'm Running Bad
he laid into a long time, mean-spirited slowroller he called Nimrod. But Tommy won the hand and actually out-slowrolled Nimrod.

In my case I didn't go on on tilt. And I did think the guy was in fact goofy and did this innocently. For goofy fun and his own protection I decided to give some friendly advice that may prevent his demise (imagine doing this to Iris in a Commerce 40/80).

As far as expectation not mentioned in the story was the fact he mentioned he was on his way to the airport and leaving shortly. And the table laughed and sympathised with me after he left.

~ Rick

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
brutal. I hope you got all your chips back.

[/ QUOTE ]

Like I just wrote above/below he left shortly after.

My way of thinking is that once chips that were formally mine are in another players stack I no longer consider them mine or even important to "get back". Of course it's always better to see lots of chips in the weakest player's stack; then they're more likely to move to your stack assuming they stay.

I always take Wednesday's off but I have chips to play on Thursday so I guess I'll make it. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

~ Rick

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

Ok. so he slowrolled you and het hit and runned you? Seriously if I was an prosecuter who had a case against you for killing the guy in a very brutal and satanic way, i would plead non guilty. Hope he burns in a grease fire.

I personally would have seriously thought of killing him, or at least hope he has an fatal accident when he's driving home.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

I tip my hat to you sir. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] You handled this situation in a sportsman like manner instead of teeing off on the guy. You explained in a clear and concise manner what was wrong with his behavior. You may have saved this guy some future embarrasment if not a beatdown.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

Great story, Rick.

-McGee

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

Rick I think if you kill the guy its only like a $10 fine in this circumstance.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

I got so angry just reading about this...

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
GCF guy makes an average size raise UTG and I re-raise with aces. The rest of the field folds. The flop comes A-Q-4 rainbow so I’m pretty happy with top set. Fortunately for me lots of money for this size game goes in and before the turn betting the pot is about $500 or so.


[/ QUOTE ]

Guy calls 3 bet with K-J out of position. Then calls a large bet on the flop with a gutshot draw. It would've been good if he stuck around for a while.

Not that you would've been gunning for him but opportunities to win some chips may have prevented themselves.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
GCF guy answers a little more brightly, “Sorry, but I just wanted to enjoy the moment.”

[/ QUOTE ]

QOTW.

Do you want my carpet cleaning bill since I just spit coffee all over when I exploded laughing?

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

Rick,

Good post bad ending.

You handled it like the gentleman that you are.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

Great read and impressive restraint. By rights, you should be at a bail hearing right now.

Edmond

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

Wow, I can't believe the restraint.

I have none.

One night I got slow-rolled and I just stared at the guy before I handed over my chips. I picked the two stacks up with both hands and lofted them across the table, spilling everywhere.

Not my proudest moment, but he took his time to show he had the nuts. He could take his time picking up my chips.

I'm strangely still allowed in that card room.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
I got so angry just reading about this...

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

Geez......I'm a VERY calm guy.....and I woulda been barred and prolly arrested. WOW!

I started slow rolling jerks who have slow rolled me in the past. I'm a real bastad about it too. It's the only way I keep sane. But that wouldn't have been enough here. That guy is really an idiot. He really could get killed pulling crap like that.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

I'm strangely still allowed in that card room.

That's probably cause your a Yankees chick. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

I read the title. Then saw how long the post was. And thought, "I ain't reading all THAT!". But it's Rick, so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

Douchebag's performance merited every word of that post.

Also:

[ QUOTE ]
Geez......I'm a VERY calm guy.....and I woulda been barred and prolly arrested. WOW!

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

Rick, I've met you and you are a great guy, but I never realized how much composure you have. Kudos for doing what I never could.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
I personally would have seriously thought of killing him, or at least hope he has an fatal accident when he's driving home.

[/ QUOTE ]

There are people that I'd like to kill but despite my enthinicity I'm not good at it so I don't bother. And as mentioned in a follow on post written late last night it seemed to me this guy really didn't know any better.

My impression is that he was the type who got beat up a lot on the playground when he was a kid. Imagine a train wreck of a guy, sort of like George from Seinfeld but worse looking with rumpled clothes, very bad grooming and a tendency to sweat excessively. That was this guy. He seemed nice enough from our previous conversation and I really did think he would be strangled someday if he didn't at least stop this sort of thing.

I also had macro reasons to restrain myself. When people take five minutes with no action pending to show down the nuts cardroom management can use the slowness of the game to justify increases in rake for the no limit games. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

~ Rick

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

Another great story from RN.

To bad you didn't river your FH and leave him with blueballs at showdown.

b

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

wow that is so, so sick. What's even more amazing is he had the balls to do this to you while sitting RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. Wow.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
except it is a little shorter and less like sex since who can perform twice in five minutes (except of course woman and pubescent boys )

[/ QUOTE ]

Good writing but this line just creeped me out.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

Rick,

You should have murdered him on the spot. I'd aquit.
edit: failing that, I'm pretty sure 2p2 would help you post bail

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
except it is a little shorter and less like sex since who can perform twice in five minutes (except of course woman and pubescent boys )

[/ QUOTE ]

Good writing but this line just creeped me out.

[/ QUOTE ]

My bad. I really try to avoid being creepy.

Anyway by this I meant a woman can "perform" sex repeatedly with a willing partner and can be multi-orgasmic (or fake orgasms repeatedly; many, perhaps most guys couldn't tell the difference).

Perhaps I should have used the words "post pubescent teen"; I think many around the age of 15 could do the deed twice in five minutes if given the chance. I'm 53 so those days are long over (but at least I can last long). But then again the thought of spending that much time with me may be pretty creepy to some woman. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

~ Rick

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]

What would Brian Boitano do in this situation?

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
except it is a little shorter and less like sex since who can perform twice in five minutes (except of course woman and pubescent boys )

[/ QUOTE ]

Good writing but this line just creeped me out.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, he didn't mean sex WITH pubescent boys.. lol

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

best self-control ever.

it sounds like the guy was such a loser . . . .

that pounding him into the floor would have
ascribed to him value that he did not have.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
(but at least I can last long).

[/ QUOTE ]Ahh, I was wondering where the "(very lightly embellished)" part kicked in. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Seriously, kudos on your reaction. I would have either said "nice slow roll" and seethed for the next hour or tried to strangle him. A middle ground wouldn't have occurred to me.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
“First, I want to make sure you did know you had the stone cold nuts on the turn.”

GCF guy says rather tepidly, “Yeah, I knew”.

[/ QUOTE ]

I just want to say...

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
“First, I want to make sure you did know you had the stone cold nuts on the turn.”

GCF guy says rather tepidly, “Yeah, I knew”.

[/ QUOTE ]

I just want to say...

[/ QUOTE ]

...That sucks.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

Just something to add.

If I had been at the table, and watched this. I would have refused to continue playing with that guy.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I personally would have seriously thought of killing him, or at least hope he has an fatal accident when he's driving home.

[/ QUOTE ]

There are people that I'd like to kill but despite my enthinicity I'm not good at it so I don't bother. And as mentioned in a follow on post written late last night it seemed to me this guy really didn't know any better.

My impression is that he was the type who got beat up a lot on the playground when he was a kid. Imagine a train wreck of a guy, sort of like George from Seinfeld but worse looking with rumpled clothes, very bad grooming and a tendency to sweat excessively. That was this guy. He seemed nice enough from our previous conversation and I really did think he would be strangled someday if he didn't at least stop this sort of thing.

I also had macro reasons to restrain myself. When people take five minutes with no action pending to show down the nuts cardroom management can use the slowness of the game to justify increases in rake for the no limit games. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

~ Rick

[/ QUOTE ]

Rick,
I reacted to this comment by trying to picture you. You don't look black or hispanic in your avitar so I ruled those out.

Nebiolo ends in a vowel but other than Mussolini the Italians weren't great mass murderers as far as I know. Thinking about Mussolini led me to Hitler and from the Germans my mind switched to the USSR but it doesn't seem to me that you are communist or fascist. From the communism I moved over to the Chinese killers but I would be willing to wager that you were not of Asian ancestry (I don't recall any posts of yours where you spoke about your love for fried rice or your new nunchucks and throwing stars).

Hmmm, are you Catholic? Those crusades were pretty brutal. Maybe he is named after some Saint Richard? Or maybe you are Protestant, they came over and killed a bunch of Native Americans.

No, thats it! You are a wise old Indian Chieftan; possibly a Chumash or a Mohave. Thank you for teaching us about the poker gods Chief Nebiolo, hopefully their divine spirit will never bring an ace on the river and will will carry some rain over to Ray Zee's ranch to save him from the fires.

-Steve

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I personally would have seriously thought of killing him, or at least hope he has an fatal accident when he's driving home.

[/ QUOTE ]

There are people that I'd like to kill but despite my enthinicity I'm not good at it so I don't bother. And as mentioned in a follow on post written late last night it seemed to me this guy really didn't know any better.

My impression is that he was the type who got beat up a lot on the playground when he was a kid. Imagine a train wreck of a guy, sort of like George from Seinfeld but worse looking with rumpled clothes, very bad grooming and a tendency to sweat excessively. That was this guy. He seemed nice enough from our previous conversation and I really did think he would be strangled someday if he didn't at least stop this sort of thing.

I also had macro reasons to restrain myself. When people take five minutes with no action pending to show down the nuts cardroom management can use the slowness of the game to justify increases in rake for the no limit games. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

~ Rick

[/ QUOTE ]

Rick,
I reacted to this comment by trying to picture you. You don't look black or hispanic in your avitar so I ruled those out.

Nebiolo ends in a vowel but other than Mussolini the Italians weren't great mass murderers as far as I know. Thinking about Mussolini led me to Hitler and from the Germans my mind switched to the USSR but it doesn't seem to me that you are communist or fascist. From the communism I moved over to the Chinese killers but I would be willing to wager that you were not of Asian ancestry (I don't recall any posts of yours where you spoke about your love for fried rice or your new nunchucks and throwing stars).

Hmmm, are you Catholic? Those crusades were pretty brutal. Maybe he is named after some Saint Richard? Or maybe you are Protestant, they came over and killed a bunch of Native Americans.

No, thats it! You are a wise old Indian Chieftan; possibly a Chumash or a Mohave. Thank you for teaching us about the poker gods Chief Nebiolo, hopefully their divine spirit will never bring an ace on the river and will will carry some rain over to Ray Zee's ranch to save him from the fires.

-Steve

[/ QUOTE ]

You ever watch the Sopranos?

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

I don't know why people get so upset at slowrolling. It never bothers me. It has no effect on the outcome of the hand, it just wastes some time, but a lot of things happen at the table that waste time.

So some guy puts on a silly performance that makes him happy. No reason that it should put us on tilt.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]


You ever watch the Sopranos?

[/ QUOTE ]

You got to it right before me. Damn.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]
You ever watch the Sopranos?

[/ QUOTE ]

I figured he was probably Catholic

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

[ QUOTE ]

I don't know why people get so upset at slowrolling. It never bothers me. It has no effect on the outcome of the hand, it just wastes some time, but a lot of things happen at the table that waste time.

So some guy puts on a silly performance that makes him happy. No reason that it should put us on tilt.



[/ QUOTE ]

I get slowrolled so often now that it has very little effect on me. The reason it's scummy is because they are screwing with your head unnecessarily. It doesn't increase their profit in the hand.

Re: Sick slow call, slow roll story (very lightly embellished)
 

If your opponent is slowrolling in an attempt to put you on tilt, let him win the hand, but not the battle.