More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

Pretty low content post, but I think his latest blog entry is hilarious.

[ QUOTE ]
There Are No Such Thing as Shark Attacks
I know this is random, but I just want to clear this up for people out there.

There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack.

I know you’re making a weird face as you’re reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.

We’re humans. We live on land.

Sharks live in water.

So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.

A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack.

When I see on the news where it’s like, “There have been 10 shark attacks,” I’m like, “Hey, for real?! They’re just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don’t live underwater.”

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

He is flirting with that fine line between brilliance and stupidity. I am gonna go with brilliance. Hilarious stuff.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

LOL one funny man

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

How long before we see an angry shark attack victim on TV bashing Gilbert?

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

holy crap, 100k made shots? scoring leader next year?

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

Gilbert is great. He has that Yogi Berra quality where what he says does makes some sense, but it said in such a way or time that its funny as hell..

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

Woman: Who is it?

Voice At Door: [ drawn-out pause ] Uh.. trick or treat?

Woman: [ gets up and walks cautiously to the door ] Look, it's two o'clock in the morning. Halloween's over! Shouldn't you be in bed by now?

Voice At Door: [ stuttering ] Mrs. Bar- Barsen- Bargen- Barsen..?

Woman: There is no Mrs. Bargenbarson here!

Voice At Door: [ pause ] Candy-Gram?

Woman: Look, I'm all out of candy! I gave it all away! Now, go home!

Voice At Door: UNI- UNICEF, ma'am?

Woman: UNICEF?

Voice At Door: UNICEF.

Woman: Well, that's different..

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

LOL, Mikey that is awesome, as is the OP. WTF, guy is nuts. Awesomely nuts, that is.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

The most important part is that we all know Gilbert is 100% correct on this issue.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

I hope he never leaves DC

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

I hope demands that the team be called the Bullets again.

A "change the name or trade me" ultimatum would be the best thing ever.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

i heard this before but i forget which comedian. not to take away from zero's awesomeness but this is no original.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

[ QUOTE ]
I hope demands that the team be called the Bullets again.


[/ QUOTE ]

is this an example of a post crafted by an expert?

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I hope demands that the team be called the Bullets again.


[/ QUOTE ]

is this an example of a post crafted by an expert?

[/ QUOTE ]

http://aycu29.webshots.com/image/234...0868085_rs.jpg

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

Gilbert is def my new favorite player.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

Can someone post a link so this works in google reader.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

pudge,

I use this feed: http://www.nba.com/players/gilbert_arenas/rss.xml

It's not a full one though. It's just partial in the reader then you have to click it to get the whole thing. For some reason the big guns, NBA.com, ESPN.com, etc, are sorely lagging in feed technology.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

How did I miss this? Gilbert is so awesome.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

[ QUOTE ]
pudge,

I use this feed: http://www.nba.com/players/gilbert_arenas/rss.xml

It's not a full one though. It's just partial in the reader then you have to click it to get the whole thing. For some reason the big guns, NBA.com, ESPN.com, etc, are sorely lagging in feed technology.

[/ QUOTE ]

Colin -

The big guns will probably never have full feeds due to blog-scraping. I know that's the reason a lot of the big tech forums don't have full RSS feeds.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

explain plz? I don't know what blog-scraping is. Basically scripts that use readers and full feeds to parse tons of information (possibly stealing it)?

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

<3 Agent 0

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

Awesome post, awesome blog, Arenas = pure comedy.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

[ QUOTE ]
I hope demands that the team be called the Bullets again.

A "change the name or trade me" ultimatum would be the best thing ever.

[/ QUOTE ]

yea that would be awesome. it's so ridiculous that they changed the name

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

Washington Hibachi?

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

Not seeing him in the playoffs last year made me very sad. I like how portis and arenas really have fun with the media and don't take themselves too seriously. That is why I love my washington teams.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

Gilbert is a plagiarist.

Video (NSFW language), about 3:30 in

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

what a hack. what a bum.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

[ QUOTE ]
I hope demands that the team be called the Bullets again.

A "change the name or trade me" ultimatum would be the best thing ever.

[/ QUOTE ]

that would make me very happy... one of my best buddies is from DC so I rip on gilbert just for fun... but wow this is great

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

[ QUOTE ]
what a hack. what a bum.

[/ QUOTE ]

Gilbert>Celtics

Wiz<Celtics however

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

[ QUOTE ]
Gilbert is a plagiarist.

Video (NSFW language), about 3:30 in

[/ QUOTE ]

WOW

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

I would bet it's probably a Mike Barnicle type situation, where one of Arenas's boys told him the bit, and Gilbert liked it enough to put it in his blog. Stealing from one of your entourage isn't plagarism, it's obligation.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

[ QUOTE ]
I would bet it's probably a Mike Barnicle type situation, where one of Arenas's boys told him the bit, and Gilbert liked it enough to put it in his blog. Stealing from one of your entourage isn't plagarism, it's obligation.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

http://www.nba.com/blog/gilbert_aren...26_01?rss=true
[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, you’ve all been talking about it. I used someone else’s joke. What’s the big deal? I thought it was funny, I blogged it, you all laughed.

Mission accomplished.

Listen, nobody even heard of Ian Edwards before me. He’s no Chris Rock. I helped him become famous. Now everybody is going to YouTube and looking him up.

The joke was worth about $7 when I heard it, now that I’ve used it’s probably worth a little bit more. I’ll sell it back to him for $7.78. Seventy-eight cents, Ian, you can put that in a royalties check made out to me.

Puffy and Ashanti made careers out of stealing other people’s beats. This is America, the land of the reused.

If you think about it, nothing is original. Every joke has been retold at some point. What I did was recycle a new joke instead of waiting for it to get old. It was too funny not too. I mean, at least I picked a good joke, right? It’s not like it was some lame, “Yo momma” joke.

Let’s not forget, “Hibachi” was stolen too. Brendan Haywood used to say it before me. But I recognize good stuff and make it popular. Now “Hibachi” is patented by Agent Zero, son.

I’m not a thief, I just reused it.

Know who is a thief? The guy that is trying to sell the domain name of GilbertArenas.com to me. It’s my name! I have to buy it back from him. Now that’s stealing, borrowing, whatever you want to call it.

I mean they were even talking about it on PTI. Patrick McEnroe was saying I should quit making jokes about sharks and worry about rehabbing. Patrick, you’re right, I should be focusing on my knee. I guess taking 15 minutes to tell a joke doesn’t leave 23 hours and 45 minutes the rest of the day to be working on my knee. Rome was killing me too, but Rome’s my boy so I can’t say anything bad about him.

Patty Mac, shouldn’t you be “focusing” on talking about real sports that are going on? I didn’t realize that telling jokes can get me on PTI. I should do it more often.

Did you hear the one about the monkey and the dog …

I would finish the joke, but I already spent too much time on this post and need to get back to the gym according to McEnroe.

Before I do though, I’m going to go play with my new pet. It’s called a “liger.” It’s a cross between a tiger and a lion. I made it up. Man, I’m so original.

(Yes, I stole that from Napoleon Dynamite. Rent it. It’s funny.)

Oh yeah, Bow Wow gave me a shout out on my jeans, Fly Jeans, in his new song with B-5 so I just wanted to give him a shout out too.



[/ QUOTE ]
[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] Gilbert

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

You all got leveled.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://www.nba.com/blog/gilbert_aren...26_01?rss=true
[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, you’ve all been talking about it. I used someone else’s joke. What’s the big deal? I thought it was funny, I blogged it, you all laughed.

Mission accomplished.

Listen, nobody even heard of Ian Edwards before me. He’s no Chris Rock. I helped him become famous. Now everybody is going to YouTube and looking him up.

The joke was worth about $7 when I heard it, now that I’ve used it’s probably worth a little bit more. I’ll sell it back to him for $7.78. Seventy-eight cents, Ian, you can put that in a royalties check made out to me.

Puffy and Ashanti made careers out of stealing other people’s beats. This is America, the land of the reused.

If you think about it, nothing is original. Every joke has been retold at some point. What I did was recycle a new joke instead of waiting for it to get old. It was too funny not too. I mean, at least I picked a good joke, right? It’s not like it was some lame, “Yo momma” joke.

Let’s not forget, “Hibachi” was stolen too. Brendan Haywood used to say it before me. But I recognize good stuff and make it popular. Now “Hibachi” is patented by Agent Zero, son.

I’m not a thief, I just reused it.

Know who is a thief? The guy that is trying to sell the domain name of GilbertArenas.com to me. It’s my name! I have to buy it back from him. Now that’s stealing, borrowing, whatever you want to call it.

I mean they were even talking about it on PTI. Patrick McEnroe was saying I should quit making jokes about sharks and worry about rehabbing. Patrick, you’re right, I should be focusing on my knee. I guess taking 15 minutes to tell a joke doesn’t leave 23 hours and 45 minutes the rest of the day to be working on my knee. Rome was killing me too, but Rome’s my boy so I can’t say anything bad about him.

Patty Mac, shouldn’t you be “focusing” on talking about real sports that are going on? I didn’t realize that telling jokes can get me on PTI. I should do it more often.

Did you hear the one about the monkey and the dog …

I would finish the joke, but I already spent too much time on this post and need to get back to the gym according to McEnroe.

Before I do though, I’m going to go play with my new pet. It’s called a “liger.” It’s a cross between a tiger and a lion. I made it up. Man, I’m so original.

(Yes, I stole that from Napoleon Dynamite. Rent it. It’s funny.)

Oh yeah, Bow Wow gave me a shout out on my jeans, Fly Jeans, in his new song with B-5 so I just wanted to give him a shout out too.



[/ QUOTE ]
[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] Gilbert

[/ QUOTE ]

LOLOLOL, his response is even better than the shark joke. Gilbert is the man.

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y19...lbertshark.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't care that the joke is plagiarized this is still awesome.

Also:

[ QUOTE ]
[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] Gilbert

[/ QUOTE ]

-Al

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

Goddamn that blog post is hilarious. Also, Patrick McEnroe on PTI, WTF? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Re: More Gilbert Arenas awesomeness
 

He's actually been pretty decent in the two or three episodes I've listened to. I stopped listening for the rest of the week because JA Adande is really bad, IMO.