girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

lately, it seems that guys that i've met haven't been all that interested in me, ever since i started playing poker. i think it may be because these guys think i'm a degenerate gambler, because they don't understand poker. i just graduated from college and i'm unemployed; i only play poker right now. do you think this is something that a lot of people would not respect?

i'm a really honest and straightforward person, but i think the next time i meet a guy i'm interested in, i'm going to hold off telling him about my poker playing until we get to know each other a little. or maybe i have no choice but to stick with dating fellow poker players.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

I think this is something that's common to both sexes. How would you expect many girls to react if they met a guy who was a professional poker player and not someone they'd seen on TV? A lot of people don't understand the game and assume you're a degen if that's how you plan to earn your bread.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

yeah, that's true, since stereotypically females are more concerned with their partner's profession and financial standing. i can see how a lot of girls would find it a turn off that a guy plays poker for a living, and is not famous for it.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

I think most guys are sufficiently shallow that they could care less what you do for a living or whether you even have a job. Or maybe that's not shallow? I don't know.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
I think most guys are sufficiently shallow that they could care less what you do for a living or whether you even have a job. Or maybe that's not shallow? I don't know.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah that one changes depending how you throw the light on it.

But it's very true that men usually don't care what kind of job a woman has. In fact, men tend to marry women with worse jobs than they have themselves. Women at their own level or above are usually looking for something better.

OP, if I were you I'd worry that guys might think your poker playing is only a "pretend" job like actress, that is so often really just treading water until you find some dude to support you. This could be a turn-off.

So maybe be careful to emphasize that you have a schedule, and plans, and study the game, and financial goals you're serious about. A lot of poker players brag about how they can do whatever they want whenever they want, how balla they are and how they don't care how much stuff costs. That might look worse on a woman because an unmotivated, unrealistic woman looks like a forgotten birth control pill waiting to happen. That or easy prey. You probably don't want to look like either.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

If you're looking for an upside, post this in OOT and see how many damn marriage proposals you get.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
If you're looking for an upside, post this in OOT and see how many damn marriage proposals you get.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or post in BBV4Life - - over/under at number of seconds until "worthless without pics" comment is 15.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

I used to hate all forms of gambling, and would never think to date any girl who even played scratch-offs. Actually, even if I know a girl plays scratch-offs, I am immediately disgruntled. Understand that to most people, poker is just gambling and no one wins. I try to explain to people all the time that I am not playing against the house. They can't get it through their head, and some of them have sat at a poker table. Remember that 95% of all players are losing (I say 75% on this forum).

I decided in the end that if anyone judges me for playing poker, they aren't very driven and aren't my friend, so they can take themselves on to somewhere else.

I am very proud of what I have accomplished, and if any women says that I am worthless because I play, well, they aren't worth impressing in the first place.

As a player, you need to become comfortable with what you are, and then worry about other people. I remember when I first started how I couldn't justify taking addicts money, but I got over it. We all progress at some time.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

It probably wouldn't be much different if you just told them you are unemployed. I'd come up with a cover story for why you don't have a "real" job yet; "finding myself," "living off my parents while I look for work." Something like that. If poker comes up, it's a hobby.

Until you find out what the guy's view on "non-standard" women is I'd suggest being as standard as you can be.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

Did you play poker in university? Did you date there? What did those guys think? What did other people - women friends, male friends, etc - think or express to you that they thought about your poker playing?
I believe that you will find a similar cross section of judgement patterns in the general public about your current life style / career choice as you will in potential dating partners: that is; some approve some do not.
I for one when I first encountered online poker thought it was like those online video games where people played for "play money" and thought it was a bit, well, wacky (like those nice, but rather odd people who go to ComicCon) and didn't believe a whit of how it could be a career choice until I educated myself. Also, btw, it is a challenging career choice - especially as a woman.....

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
If you're looking for an upside, post this in OOT and see how many damn marriage proposals you get.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or post in BBV4Life - - over/under at number of seconds until "worthless without pics" comment is 15.

[/ QUOTE ]

i'll take the under.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

i think that you can find a decent guy who won't care

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Did you play poker in university? Did you date there? What did those guys think? What did other people - women friends, male friends, etc - think or express to you that they thought about your poker playing?


[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I started playing two years ago when I was a junior in college. I never gave up on school because of it though. I continued to graduate with good grades. I had a boyfriend throughout that time, but we recently broke up. He was accepting of my poker playing as long as I spent time with him... hell, he was the one who got me into it! But now he has a corporate job and doesn't play anymore. He was proud of my poker playing, and possibly even jealous since I'm making more money than he is and have more freedom.

When I tell my friends about playing poker, some of them just look at me like I'm a sick gambler because I play almost every day. My parents both have had gambling problems and my friends worry I'm going down the same path. I'll be 100% honest - I hate gambling. I refuse to hit the blackjack tables or play 3-6 with friends at live casinos, even if I have to wait a long time for a no limit game.

Recently, guys that I've met say that they think it's "cool" that I can make money playing poker... but they seem skeptical when they say that. They also refer to my poker playing as gambling. They'll ask me questions like "How did the gambling go today?" I know there is gambling involved in poker, but it sort of offends me when people call me a gambler. It makes me sound reckless and they just don't understand the skill that is involved in the game.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

i was under the impression that girls have a natural disadvantage in the game of no limit holdem

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

Tell them that you "like to play poker and suck dick" and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the responses.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
i was under the impression that girls have a natural disadvantage in the game of no limit holdem

[/ QUOTE ]

what is this "natural disadvantage" you speak of?

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
Tell them that you "like to play poker and xxxxxx" and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the responses.

[/ QUOTE ]


reply deleted by katyseagull

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
I decided in the end that if anyone judges me for playing poker, they aren't very driven and aren't my friend, so they can take themselves on to somewhere else.

I am very proud of what I have accomplished, and if any women says that I am worthless because I play, well, they aren't worth impressing in the first place.

As a player, you need to become comfortable with what you are, and then worry about other people. I remember when I first started how I couldn't justify taking addicts money, but I got over it. We all progress at some time.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
When I tell my friends about playing poker, some of them just look at me like I'm a sick gambler because I play almost every day. My parents both have had gambling problems and my friends worry I'm going down the same path. I'll be 100% honest - I hate gambling. I refuse to hit the blackjack tables or play 3-6 with friends at live casinos, even if I have to wait a long time for a no limit game.

Recently, guys that I've met say that they think it's "cool" that I can make money playing poker... but they seem skeptical when they say that. They also refer to my poker playing as gambling. They'll ask me questions like "How did the gambling go today?" I know there is gambling involved in poker, but it sort of offends me when people call me a gambler. It makes me sound reckless and they just don't understand the skill that is involved in the game.

[/ QUOTE ]

The second quote contradicts the first. Do you really care that people not think you're a gambler, or not? Which is it?

If you don't care about what people think about you, then quit worrying about whether or not they think poker is gambling or a skill game.

P.S. Poker IS gambling, even though skillful players have a distinct advantage.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I decided in the end that if anyone judges me for playing poker, they aren't very driven and aren't my friend, so they can take themselves on to somewhere else.

I am very proud of what I have accomplished, and if any women says that I am worthless because I play, well, they aren't worth impressing in the first place.

As a player, you need to become comfortable with what you are, and then worry about other people. I remember when I first started how I couldn't justify taking addicts money, but I got over it. We all progress at some time.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
When I tell my friends about playing poker, some of them just look at me like I'm a sick gambler because I play almost every day. My parents both have had gambling problems and my friends worry I'm going down the same path. I'll be 100% honest - I hate gambling. I refuse to hit the blackjack tables or play 3-6 with friends at live casinos, even if I have to wait a long time for a no limit game.

Recently, guys that I've met say that they think it's "cool" that I can make money playing poker... but they seem skeptical when they say that. They also refer to my poker playing as gambling. They'll ask me questions like "How did the gambling go today?" I know there is gambling involved in poker, but it sort of offends me when people call me a gambler. It makes me sound reckless and they just don't understand the skill that is involved in the game.

[/ QUOTE ]

The second quote contradicts the first. Do you really care that people not think you're a gambler, or not? Which is it?

If you don't care about what people think about you, then quit worrying about whether or not they think poker is gambling or a skill game.

P.S. Poker IS gambling, even though skillful players have a distinct advantage.

[/ QUOTE ]

These are not quotes from the same poster, but they don't contradict each other.

It is hard to explain the inner conflict of playing poker for a living. But what she is expressing is not far off from the truth. There is an odd balance that must be attained. A little while ago, I did a gambling psychological study, and they asked me if I would like to continue on to the recover process. "Do I seem like an addict to you?" "I don't know."

"The problem with playing this game full time is that we are all addicted to gambling, you can either live with it or cure it, but you can't have it both ways."

When people use the word gambling, they are using it in a derogatory way, whether they realize it or not. It is obvious that they are concerned about my "safety."

Yes, in a way, we would have to care what people think of us, because we don't want to live the rest of our lives like a hermit. Poker proves that in life, that all love and friendships are harshly conditional.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
some idiots are under the impression that girls have a natural disadvantage in the game of no limit holdem

[/ QUOTE ]
fyp

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i was under the impression that girls have a natural disadvantage in the game of no limit holdem

[/ QUOTE ]

what is this "natural disadvantage" you speak of?

[/ QUOTE ]

Smaller brain [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]

i like to play poker, (deleted by ks). i'm sure y'all can over look the first part.

[/ QUOTE ]

marry me?

I was actually randomly thinking the other day how it would be pretty nice to be a female poker player because online play would fit in well with child rearing.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
i like to play poker, (deleted).

[/ QUOTE ]

Put this on a t-shirt and you'll never be lonely again.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I decided in the end that if anyone judges me for playing poker, they aren't very driven and aren't my friend, so they can take themselves on to somewhere else.

I am very proud of what I have accomplished, and if any women says that I am worthless because I play, well, they aren't worth impressing in the first place.

As a player, you need to become comfortable with what you are, and then worry about other people. I remember when I first started how I couldn't justify taking addicts money, but I got over it. We all progress at some time.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
When I tell my friends about playing poker, some of them just look at me like I'm a sick gambler because I play almost every day. My parents both have had gambling problems and my friends worry I'm going down the same path. I'll be 100% honest - I hate gambling. I refuse to hit the blackjack tables or play 3-6 with friends at live casinos, even if I have to wait a long time for a no limit game.

Recently, guys that I've met say that they think it's "cool" that I can make money playing poker... but they seem skeptical when they say that. They also refer to my poker playing as gambling. They'll ask me questions like "How did the gambling go today?" I know there is gambling involved in poker, but it sort of offends me when people call me a gambler. It makes me sound reckless and they just don't understand the skill that is involved in the game.

[/ QUOTE ]

The second quote contradicts the first. Do you really care that people not think you're a gambler, or not? Which is it?

If you don't care about what people think about you, then quit worrying about whether or not they think poker is gambling or a skill game.

P.S. Poker IS gambling, even though skillful players have a distinct advantage.

[/ QUOTE ]

These are not quotes from the same poster, but they don't contradict each other.

It is hard to explain the inner conflict of playing poker for a living. But what she is expressing is not far off from the truth. There is an odd balance that must be attained. A little while ago, I did a gambling psychological study, and they asked me if I would like to continue on to the recover process. "Do I seem like an addict to you?" "I don't know."

"The problem with playing this game full time is that we are all addicted to gambling, you can either live with it or cure it, but you can't have it both ways."

When people use the word gambling, they are using it in a derogatory way, whether they realize it or not. It is obvious that they are concerned about my "safety."

Yes, in a way, we would have to care what people think of us, because we don't want to live the rest of our lives like a hermit. Poker proves that in life, that all love and friendships are harshly conditional.

[/ QUOTE ]

and you shouldn't want to live your life according to the opinions or ideals of others.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]

and you shouldn't want to live your life according to the opinions or ideals of others.

[/ QUOTE ]

This would end all wars.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Tell them that you "like to play poker and suck dick" and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the responses.

[/ QUOTE ]

i like to play poker, suck dick, and take it in the ass. i'm sure y'all can over look the first part.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't care about the rest, but I love a girl who says "y'all". [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

But it really is impossible to know whether the "lack of interest" you're getting has anything to do with your pokering w/o seeing a pic. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

Only thing about playing live is it can turn a person pretty sour, and not just in the body odor department. That's very unattractive, and even much less so in women. So hopefully OP can leave the table, real or virtual, behind.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i was under the impression that girls have a natural disadvantage in the game of no limit holdem

[/ QUOTE ]

what is this "natural disadvantage" you speak of?

[/ QUOTE ]

Smaller brain [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

at least in live play, we compensate by having bigger [censored].

that is usually sufficient to turn off the brain of whatever male is nearby.

[img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

Well they may be female ones, but I'd hesitate to say they're usually any bigger than the ones that the guys around the table have.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

Point conceded.

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

But somehow they seem to have a greater "impact".

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
But it's very true that men usually don't care what kind of job a woman has. In fact, men tend to marry women with worse jobs than they have themselves.

[/ QUOTE ]Actually, that shows men DO care what job a woman has.

I was actually surprsed when my single female attorney colleagues were telling me that many guys are scared off by the fact that they are attorneys (presumably because they don't want to date a woman more "successful" than they are.) They actually don't tell the guys they meet they are attorneys until a few dates have occurred.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

No, that's not how and why it is working. Women tend to marry upwards, because they can. Far more than men, they are the sex that does the choosing. As the choosers, by generally choosing men with better jobs and/or social status than their own, this leaves men for the most part viable marital partners only to women with worse jobs and/or social status than their own. Men, unless up toward the top of the social hierarchy, where they may be entirely oblivious to it, learn this through experience quickly enough. Many more probably want to date and marry women of their own "level" or higher, or do so without regard to social levels at all, than do, but realize it's not likely to work out, or to work for long. Men know that women with better opportunities will generally take them. So they tend to to go where they are wanted rather than waste their time.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

actually,

as far as social class, most studies indicate that women tend to marry down MUCH more often than men do. income of course, is a horse of a different color. but men tend to marry within their own class or up.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
actually,

as far as social class, most studies indicate that women tend to marry down MUCH more often than men do. income of course, is a horse of a different color. but men tend to marry within their own class or up.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not sure how this is even possible.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
actually,

as far as social class, most studies indicate that women tend to marry down MUCH more often than men do. income of course, is a horse of a different color. but men tend to marry within their own class or up.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not sure how this is even possible.

[/ QUOTE ]

This contradicts what I've read, and I see no basis for how it could possibly happen, and every reason for it not to.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

if down excludes income, are you only talking about level of attractiveness?

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

women marry more for value while men marry more for attractiveness

the reason women have a natural disadvantage at poker is their lack of testicles.... a requisite for bold and aggressive no limit manuevers

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

Actually, Blarg, I've read about some dating studies and models that have shown that men tend to marry up and women tend to marry down. Think about this: men tend to be the ones to do the asking and making the advances. Women then accept or reject the guy. Now the men naturally will tend to flock to the top girls, or at least the top girls they think they can reasonably get to accept them. In this model, then, the men will tend to select the women they ask out from the whole pool of available women, and the women will be stuck choosing only from the pool of men who ask them out. The women who rate as 10s will tend to get hounded by most every man in the dating pool, or at least the men who rate as 7s and up who think they have a chance, even if it's a longshot. If 10-man doesn't come along in time for a 10-woman to choose, she might just as well settle for a good 9 who's asked her out. Compare them to the 9-women. They'll get plenty of attention, sure, but not from the 9- and 10-men. The 10-men will tend to only seek out the 10-women, and only if they really turn up empty do they start looking down. The 9-men know they don't stand quite as good a chance with the 10-women, but they'll happily take their chances. Consequently, the 9-women won't get as much attention from the 9-men, although they'll get plenty of attention from the 8-men. We can continue this all the way down the chain. Consequently, in this model, one would expect the men to end up with the best woman who's willing to accept him, and the women will tend to end up with the lowest man she's willing to accept.

Re: girls who play poker - a turn off for guys who don\'t play poker?
 

I think your logic falls apart when it comes to describing how men think of "the top women." Men's first choices tend to be based on looks and perhaps secondarily on personality. How much money women make is invisible to those considerations. Further, it doesn't matter much whether a man knows it or not, because our cultural expectations are still firmly in line with the idea that men provide, whereas women's jobs are either optional or can be quite trivial and indifferently paying, or simply temporary. Men don't expect to profit much from a woman's income or care about it, but know theirs matters a lot.

I think you're even quite wrong as to which women men find most attractive. Over the years, I've read interviews with three different madams at three different times, for instance, and they all said the women who get both the most initial and repeat business are the ones who are merely pretty or even plain, not the gorgeous ones. Even when they are paying for sex, apparently men are well-adapted to going after what is more likely to pay off rather than their greatest fantasy as to looks. Showing that the average man's greatest fantasy, despite our macho efforts to kid around otherwise, is not strictly physical beauty, but someone acceptably attractive who is reasonably likely to put up with us.

This is the same reason beautiful women in a bar are sometimes left alone, and you often hear of gorgeous women saying it's surprising how often guys are too intimidated to ask them out, and that they wind up spending an awful lot of time alone. Not that a lot of them would necessarily accept or enjoy the attentions of many of those might want to ask them out anyway, but it's pretty perverse how those things can work.