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Your favorite post of all time
The one that immediately comes to mind for me is Rosencrantz's trip report (I hope that's how you spell his name) in the home casino thread. It's pure gold.
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
The "I stabbed a guy at my home game" thread... graph shaped like knife followed by.. "stab preflop"
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
[x] Thread needs links
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
[ QUOTE ]
Since no one has yet posted a trip report, I thought I'd just go ahead and do it. TRIP REPORT: TWO ROOKS' PLACE, San Diego I was in San Diego for a business trip and since I had some downtime, I figured I try to find some action. I usually play 3/6 limit in AC, so I was looking for something along those lines. Luckily, I remembered that Two Rooks had a cardroom/casino going in SD, so I went over to check it out. First off, what you heard about parking is WRONG: there is NO valet. I must have sat outside the house in my car for a good ten minutes before I realized the guy in the maroon sport coat was just Two Rooks' dad and that he WASN'T parking cars. My bad. Do NOT try and get Two Rooks' dad to park your car; it isn't going to happen. The good news is I got a spot right around the corner in front of a split-level ranch. Seemed safe. The casino itself is pretty small. One blackjack table (empty) and one hold-em table squeezed into a rec-room that's about 20 x 15. I was told that there is usually blackjack action, but that the regular dealer had a US Government final the next day and was at home cramming. Luckily for me, though, I came to play poker and there were a couple empty seats at the table when I arrived. First, of course, I went over to the cage for a rack. They were out of acrylic racks when I was there, so I got my chips in a 1 gallon zip-lock bag (which I was asked to return when I cashed out). The chips are a little grimy, but definitely in better shape than the ones at the Taj in AC. I sat down in the 4 seat. It was the typical collection of casino players: a couple retirees playing their social security checks, one or two drunk tourists, two kids from the JV Baseball team, a squirrly chick with braces. The action was pretty loose/passive. The dealer wasn't great, but not terrible either. She had a couple misdeals and she mis-pushed the pot once when she didn't see the rivered flush. We also had about a 20 minute break while she took a cellphone call from her ex-boyfriend. THERE IS NO TABLE SERVICE AT THIS CASINO. You need to get your own Coke/Diet Coke/Mr. Pibb from a large green cooler in the bathroom. The drinks ARE comped, though, which is nice. If you want an alcoholic drink, you have to go back upstairs and ask Two Rooks' mom for a 'real' glass and then you can have pretty much whatever they are offering that night. The night I was there, they had two options: Beefeater Gin or Amaretto. I had an Amaretto on the rocks. Tasty! (I'm 35, but I didn't get the sense that they were carding, just FYI). I also had a really good chat with Two Rooks' mom; she is definitely cool with the casino. The one thing that was never mentioned in the thread: there is a poker rate! After 6 hours of play, I was eligible to sleep on the trundle bed in Two Rooks' sister's room (she's away at college in Nebraska). I didn't stay, but it's good to know in the future, especially if you don't feel like driving after a few Amarettos. Only one stressful situation and it was around a hand. I had KK in MP and raised. It was folded around to the CO (one of the JV Baseball guys) who 3-bet. Folded back around to me and I call. Two players and the flop comes KQJ. I bet, he raises, I re-raise, he caps. Turn is a blank, I bet, he calls. The river is a T, so I'm now feeling a little nervous. I check. This guy looks at his cards and gives a little chuckle. I think he's going to flip them over, but he mucks them (no verbal declaration). Then he says "[censored], I meant to flip those" and reaches into the muck pile and pulls out an A. The dealer has no clue how to handle it, so they call the floor over. The floor is none other than Two Rooks himself! We go over the hand with him but he's not really sure how to call it. He decides that we should look it up online, so all of us -- the table, the dealer, TR -- go upstairs to his room to look it up online. His room is ok, pretty standard: some rock posters on the walls, about a week's worth of dirty clothes on the floor and a Pamela Anderson calendar from 2004. He does have a CRAZY collection of bobble-heads. We spend about 10 minutes Googling "Floor Calls" "Mucked Hands" etc. and finally he makes a call and tells the JV kid that he's sorry, but without the verbal declaration, his hand is mucked. We go back downstairs and TR then pushes the pot to me. The JV kid kinda freaks out, but TR calms him down and tells him he can take a 6-pack of Mr. Pibb. The two JV kids leave and the table basically breaks up. I was up about $80 (roughly 2bb/hr). I spent about an hour just kind of chilling with Two Rooks and his folks after that (there was some left over pizza in the fridge from the 200+40 tourney they ran the previous weekend). All in all, a good experience. [/ QUOTE ] |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
The MSPaint thread (can't believe I'm forgetting who's it was) about coming to visit America and ended with the eiffel tower that got edited out. [censored] gold.
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
link plz
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
[ QUOTE ]
The MSPaint thread (can't believe I'm forgetting who's it was) about coming to visit America and ended with the eiffel tower that got edited out. [censored] gold. [/ QUOTE ] I HAS COME TO AMERICA (NSFW) |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] The MSPaint thread (can't believe I'm forgetting who's it was) about coming to visit America and ended with the eiffel tower that got edited out. [censored] gold. [/ QUOTE ] I HAS COME TO AMERICA (NSFW) [/ QUOTE ] expert [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
the thread from OOT where assani fisher asks about 'oat running'
the purest gold oh, OP says favorite post - well my favorite post is within that thread, but saying what it is ruins it |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
someone find the "where does sammy farha get his money" thread. that was the best evar
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
[ QUOTE ]
someone find the "where does sammy farha get his money" thread. that was the best evar [/ QUOTE ] http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...rt=all&vc=1 [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
Recently bumped and stickied but I still cannot fail to LOL at the amount of morans arguing with OP.
MORANS! |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
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grimstarr rocks a grimstarr [/ QUOTE ] holy shtt this thread had me laughin my ass off for like a day straight |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
[ QUOTE ]
The "I stabbed a guy at my home game" thread... graph shaped like knife followed by.. "stab preflop" [/ QUOTE ] Read from start to finish, you will not be disappointed. Stabbage |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
I think it might be this gem from TheFaucet. Long live TheFaucet.
[ QUOTE ] So this kid goes to the grocery store on his bike around 8 and on his way out of the place he hears drunken bums shouting and cursing at each other in the parking lot. He looks around and only sees one bum, and then realizes that it's just one bum who was having a conversation with himself very loudly. My friend, wanting to avoid any unpleasantness, decides to go the long way around since this bum looks drunk or high and antagonistic and is chilling near the passageway that would be the closer way out to the main street. So he's on his bike, plastic grocery bags hanging from his handlebars, and he sees the hobo emerge from the passage. Keep in mind that the bum is loudly rambling the whole time, and is a skinny Northwest junkie hobo which is probably the worst kind of hobo you can find in America these days. So my friend is biking down the parking lot and the bum is powerwalking towards where he'll be in about 5 seconds if he doesn't change course. He then hears the bum mutter aloud, "I'M GONNA ATTACK THIS GUY." My friend is alarmed and also slightly amused at the fact that this cockroach decided to voice his intentions. Then the bum goes, "NO, HE'S TOO PALE", turns around and quickly disappears back to the mall. So in short, my roommate almost got attacked and surprise buttsexed by a drunk possibly schizophrenic hobo but the hobo decided my roommate was too white for his taste. I see where the bum was coming from though, my roommate is German and ginger so he's got the pale milky complexion and is the kind of kid who acts and looks so white that blacks are offended just by looking at him and punch him in the face (actually happened in high school). damn, writing is fun when you're high, holla [/ QUOTE ] |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
[ QUOTE ]
I think it might be this gem from TheFaucet. Long live TheFaucet. [ QUOTE ] So this kid goes to the grocery store on his bike around 8 and on his way out of the place he hears drunken bums shouting and cursing at each other in the parking lot. He looks around and only sees one bum, and then realizes that it's just one bum who was having a conversation with himself very loudly. My friend, wanting to avoid any unpleasantness, decides to go the long way around since this bum looks drunk or high and antagonistic and is chilling near the passageway that would be the closer way out to the main street. So he's on his bike, plastic grocery bags hanging from his handlebars, and he sees the hobo emerge from the passage. Keep in mind that the bum is loudly rambling the whole time, and is a skinny Northwest junkie hobo which is probably the worst kind of hobo you can find in America these days. So my friend is biking down the parking lot and the bum is powerwalking towards where he'll be in about 5 seconds if he doesn't change course. He then hears the bum mutter aloud, "I'M GONNA ATTACK THIS GUY." My friend is alarmed and also slightly amused at the fact that this cockroach decided to voice his intentions. Then the bum goes, "NO, HE'S TOO PALE", turns around and quickly disappears back to the mall. So in short, my roommate almost got attacked and surprise buttsexed by a drunk possibly schizophrenic hobo but the hobo decided my roommate was too white for his taste. I see where the bum was coming from though, my roommate is German and ginger so he's got the pale milky complexion and is the kind of kid who acts and looks so white that blacks are offended just by looking at him and punch him in the face (actually happened in high school). damn, writing is fun when you're high, holla [/ QUOTE ] [/ QUOTE ] Yeah that was great. |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
I can't find it in Search, but there was a post in (I think) B&M where someone was all "KICK HIM IN THE NUTS AND CALL THE FLOOR OVER AND KICK HIM IN THE NUTS AND GET A WAITRESS AND KICK HER IN THE NUTS AND FIND MIKE GNUTTS (silent 'g') AND KICK HIM IN THE NUTS AND FIND A BOX OF GRAPE NUTS AND KICK THAT AND FINALLY KICK YOURSELF RIGHT IN THE NUTS". I don't recall exactly how it went.
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
Ama's post in the eezespearfish thread. Brilliant encapsulation of an epic thread.
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
One of KKF's Best:
[ QUOTE ] its my senior year and school just got back in session. i wake up in one of the periods, second or third, i couldnt remember which subject it even was until i heard the teacher mr. harrison running his fat mouth about how we students need to work harder studying and need to stop screwing around or we will end up in downward spiral in a sewer eating dog food for dinner. you know that pep talk teachers give you. they pretend they care about you, but really, the only reason they teach is for power. its a math class that i flunked last year due to absenses. i spent the entire summer 12 tabling SNG's on party and i was up all night playing until 6 am when i caught the school bus. i slept all through the class so far. one of the jock rejects in the back says something to harrison like: Why do we need math in the real world. to not get all-in with TT in EP on the bubble of a MTT I say a little too loudly. harrison gets pissed that i interrupted him and wants to know what the hell im talking about. i say that i am a pro poker player and i am trying to give him a hand helping these donkeys understand math better. he basically tells me to stfu. he says poker is a great way to become a degenerate. he says its a sinful and motions to the jesus on his desk. he says that if ive gotten lucky i outta put that money in a mutual fund and save it for my future. i cant take anymore. lucky?, i say. i make more in a hour then you do in a week you min-wage 40-hour Clown. he is a little pissed off and tells me to watch it. he says something about anyone can get lucky. I mutter, over 70K hands? Keep dreaming Grandpa. I take a deck of cards from my jean pocket and put it on my desk. You want some of this bitch?, I say. He goes mad at that, and tells me to get out of his classroom. At this point my future is written. Im done with high school. I pick up my backpack and empty it on the floor. I knock over a row of books on my way out the door. I know that i wont be coming back to that class or any class. I jump over the fence to avoid the min-wage affro security guard whose always stoned I jog home hoping to catch the next $100 MTT Nl Holdem on party. i was born in the wind, and will die in the wind. [/ QUOTE ] |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
[ QUOTE ]
One of KKF's Best: [ QUOTE ] its my senior year and school just got back in session. i wake up in one of the periods, second or third, i couldnt remember which subject it even was until i heard the teacher mr. harrison running his fat mouth about how we students need to work harder studying and need to stop screwing around or we will end up in downward spiral in a sewer eating dog food for dinner. you know that pep talk teachers give you. they pretend they care about you, but really, the only reason they teach is for power. its a math class that i flunked last year due to absenses. i spent the entire summer 12 tabling SNG's on party and i was up all night playing until 6 am when i caught the school bus. i slept all through the class so far. one of the jock rejects in the back says something to harrison like: Why do we need math in the real world. to not get all-in with TT in EP on the bubble of a MTT I say a little too loudly. harrison gets pissed that i interrupted him and wants to know what the hell im talking about. i say that i am a pro poker player and i am trying to give him a hand helping these donkeys understand math better. he basically tells me to stfu. he says poker is a great way to become a degenerate. he says its a sinful and motions to the jesus on his desk. he says that if ive gotten lucky i outta put that money in a mutual fund and save it for my future. i cant take anymore. lucky?, i say. i make more in a hour then you do in a week you min-wage 40-hour Clown. he is a little pissed off and tells me to watch it. he says something about anyone can get lucky. I mutter, over 70K hands? Keep dreaming Grandpa. I take a deck of cards from my jean pocket and put it on my desk. You want some of this bitch?, I say. He goes mad at that, and tells me to get out of his classroom. At this point my future is written. Im done with high school. I pick up my backpack and empty it on the floor. I knock over a row of books on my way out the door. I know that i wont be coming back to that class or any class. I jump over the fence to avoid the min-wage affro security guard whose always stoned I jog home hoping to catch the next $100 MTT Nl Holdem on party. i was born in the wind, and will die in the wind. [/ QUOTE ] [/ QUOTE ] oh yeah this was awesome. who posted it? I forget |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
Kane Kung Fu on one of his gimmicks.
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
the KKF post about limit hold'em was pretty awesome, also the one about copping a feel in the elevator. other favorites are the "roommate from hell", "ultimate butterface-off", "where does sammy farha's money come from", the bastard thread, and this:
Things about poker I never knew until I started playing FTP [ QUOTE ] 1. Ax, Kx > AK, where x does not = A or K 2. Underpair > Overpair 3. Getting in with AA preflop = -EV 4. To calculate your odds of winning when getting it in on the flop as a coinflip, take your odds of winning (50%) and subtract your opponents odds (50%). 50 - 50 = 0%. yay! 5. To calulate your opponents odds of winning when getting it in on the flop as a coinflop, take their odds of winning (50%) and add your odds of winning (50%). 50 + 50 = 100%. yay! 6. Gutshots are the nuts, value push/call them on the flop and turn. 7. Your odds of someone else being dealt AA when you have KK = ~ 1 in 4.5. 8. Top set is approximately 65% to win on the flop versus bottom set. 9. Flush draws are teh nuts. Do not fold them. Ever. If I am in the pot. 10. Poker is not fun. At all. GODDAMNIT when Party shut down I decided I would buy into one more site, and I picked this godforaksen fjangf site over Doyles room, which come to find out later was the fishiest site ever apparently, gjoidsaijf;dsaf goddamnit I want to cut out FTP heart with a spoooon. [/ QUOTE ] |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
Oh yes, I remember this one. That might be the thread that made me realize the caliber of most 2+2ers.
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
I like the daniel robot ones
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
[ QUOTE ]
One of KKF's Best: [ QUOTE ] its my senior year and school just got back in session. i wake up in one of the periods, second or third, i couldnt remember which subject it even was until i heard the teacher mr. harrison running his fat mouth about how we students need to work harder studying and need to stop screwing around or we will end up in downward spiral in a sewer eating dog food for dinner. you know that pep talk teachers give you. they pretend they care about you, but really, the only reason they teach is for power. its a math class that i flunked last year due to absenses. i spent the entire summer 12 tabling SNG's on party and i was up all night playing until 6 am when i caught the school bus. i slept all through the class so far. one of the jock rejects in the back says something to harrison like: Why do we need math in the real world. to not get all-in with TT in EP on the bubble of a MTT I say a little too loudly. harrison gets pissed that i interrupted him and wants to know what the hell im talking about. i say that i am a pro poker player and i am trying to give him a hand helping these donkeys understand math better. he basically tells me to stfu. he says poker is a great way to become a degenerate. he says its a sinful and motions to the jesus on his desk. he says that if ive gotten lucky i outta put that money in a mutual fund and save it for my future. i cant take anymore. lucky?, i say. i make more in a hour then you do in a week you min-wage 40-hour Clown. he is a little pissed off and tells me to watch it. he says something about anyone can get lucky. I mutter, over 70K hands? Keep dreaming Grandpa. I take a deck of cards from my jean pocket and put it on my desk. You want some of this bitch?, I say. He goes mad at that, and tells me to get out of his classroom. At this point my future is written. Im done with high school. I pick up my backpack and empty it on the floor. I knock over a row of books on my way out the door. I know that i wont be coming back to that class or any class. I jump over the fence to avoid the min-wage affro security guard whose always stoned I jog home hoping to catch the next $100 MTT Nl Holdem on party. i was born in the wind, and will die in the wind. [/ QUOTE ] [/ QUOTE ] This might be the greatest post ever. |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
I like the recent starwars mspaint thread, that was a very funny thread.
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
Commodus and the 3 things I want to do in college.
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
my girlfriend is crying, help bbv is up there:
[ QUOTE ] okay this is what is happening my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help Here's some background: see, i volunteer on my sisters softball team (im 21, the girls are 16) and whatever yea i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have alot in common, sometimes i help her with homework. I helped her on her english essay and she still got a D. This is because the teacher is a prick ... anyways So she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex "no, no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, PLUSS ill give you 2 gamecube games if you say yes" So I give her super monkey ball and zelda wind waker, and then she goes to my room. She's a bit confused and scared. Then i think to myself - yo I need lube right? Cuz I heard you need to lube up otherwise it wont fit in properly. Ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity - so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold, it wont melt - so I microwaved it for 8 minutes, and then i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, now shes saying i burned it. I dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart and please help me Any idea how to shut her up? Should I give her another gamecube game? [/ QUOTE ] |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
bump
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
It makes me a little sad to post this, since surely it will ruin this already-perfect thread, but this is the greatest politics thread ever.
(For those who are late, there was originally only one reply in the thread). |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
Injection's "flip for starships" pic in the Farha thread.
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Re: Your favorite post of all time
The TRUTH behind the NL continuation bet
A classic post by John Kane, but lapoker17's reply always makes me bust up laughing. |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
What it do Kid's first post.
I'LL FLIP FO YO LIFE! |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
The one vegas trip report where the guy gets to vegas and jerks off in his car, and loses a bunch of money. I really wish I could find it.
And this post: AA on two tables at once Snagglepuss's response is brilliant, among others. |
Re: Your favorite post of all time
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