Calling Women \"Darling, Dear, Love\" etc.
 

This post is a spin-off from this thread by DMACM about calling dudes "chief, boss, sport" etc.

Also in a thread about a Seinfeld episode ("The Diplomat Club"), MattSuspect commented that George calls all women "dear".

I can't bring myself to address a woman by anything other than her name or, rarely, "ma'am". It just feels and sounds awkward, but I hear it all the time in casinos for example. Is there some age barrier that you cross and then suddenly call random women "dear, love, hon, darling" etc? Usually this best applies to women in service type jobs, especially waitresses. And I would guess that this is now somewhat obsolete in the workplace.

So what's your go-to phrase for women? Or are you like me and just don't bother or feel awkward saying "thanks darling" when you get your $3 Corona? Thoughts?

Re: Calling Women \"Darling, Dear, Love\" etc.
 

I call most women "gorgeous" or "beautiful" regardless of what they look like.

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I call most women in service jobs darlin' or sweetheart. Why would you feel awkward about this?

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You didn't put "random" before women in your title.
I was going to agree if you were saying that about calling your partner "love", "honey" or something else common and non-personal being kind of wierd considering they do have special meaning to ya.

Re: Calling Women \"Darling, Dear, Love\" etc.
 

I call a lot of women 'darl', I don't even think about it before I do, it's just natural.

I reserve gorgeous for those that truly are just that, and because I rarely hang out with any girls that are or they're taken already, I rarely say it.

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If you're seeing multiple people, and you use pet names, it's easier to avoid calling someone by the wrong name.

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I almost always call servers/waitresses "miss". They seem to like it, especially the >30 year old ones.

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You didn't put "random" before women in your title.

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Damn, I missed that. Sorry for the confusion.

That brings up another point though: if you're out with your girlfriend/wife do you still call waitresses "darling" or "gorgeous"?

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That brings up another point though: if you're out with your girlfriend/wife do you still call waitresses "darling" or "gorgeous"?

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Since moving to Baltimore, I picked up calling women, "hon," and I do it with wife around. Since I use it with women of all ages and degrees of comeliness, it might as well be "miss" or "ma'am".

Gorgeous or darling would be out of line, wife around or not.

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I never use "darlin'" or "hon'", but I often use "sweetheart", "kid", or "kiddo" (like Humphrey Bogart would--no condescension implied).

It's almost always clear that there's nothing flirtatious in the way I say it.

I've only had one person react negatively, and she's the type that goes around looking to be offended by the slightest thing. She seemed shocked that the next time I saw her, I didn't verbally react to her saying "Hello". Truth is, if she took such great offense to a greeting such as a smile and a friendly "Hey, kid!", I figured I was better off not greeting her at all.

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i call them dork or kiddo

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I call them Woman. As in "I'll take a Corona, Woman."

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I call most women in service jobs darlin' or sweetheart. Why would you feel awkward about this?

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Because it's condescending.

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I don't, because I'm not over 60, or a dork.

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Girl seem to love the darlin' when I throw my southern drawl into it. Otherwise I call most random women miss.

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it's often condescending unless the context/delivery is appropriate, so if your unsure just stick to miss

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I'll do it occasionally. Of course, I'm 20 years older than most servers so it doesn't present a problem.

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Random woman, nothing. Maybe "ma'am" or "miss".

Women in my immediate household (wife & daughter) are usually "honey" as a term of endearment. Everyone else is just their first name. Well, except grandma. She's always grandma.

Re: Calling Women \"Darling, Dear, Love\" etc.
 

Toots.

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I call most women in service jobs darlin' or sweetheart. Why would you feel awkward about this?

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Because it's condescending.

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They don't ever give any indication that they feel this way, but that could be because they want a tip. I live in Ohio, maybe it would be considered condescending where you live.

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I call most women in service jobs darlin' or sweetheart. Why would you feel awkward about this?

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Because it's condescending.

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They don't ever give any indication that they feel this way, but that could be because they want a tip. I live in Ohio, maybe it would be considered condescending where you live.

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quite often they will behind your back, certainly the case here in the UK

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How did you people pick up these habits of calling women by those names? I'm just curious because growing up I never heard anyone around me use those words and thus I would never use them now.

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I think I do it because my Grandpa did it. He was from the south. Honestly if it's a jerky thing to do, I'll stop.

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i call them box or slampig.

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I call most women in service jobs darlin' or sweetheart. Why would you feel awkward about this?

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Because it's condescending.

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They don't ever give any indication that they feel this way, but that could be because they want a tip. I live in Ohio, maybe it would be considered condescending where you live.

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quite often they will behind your back, certainly the case here in the UK

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definitely not the case in the midwestern united states.

esp considering most of the waitresses call the male customers "honey" or "darlin"

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usually Ill call them sweet [censored], but in a more formal setting Ill use sweater meat.

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esp considering most of the waitresses call the male customers "honey" or "darlin"

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yeah that happens here too, and is fine. I think it might largely be a feminist-related thing for those who have a problem with it. Probably don't get so many of those around the mid-west, i guess.

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I just say WOMAN in a deep manly voice, and occassionally sugar pie honey bunch when I'm in a sing-song mood

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Toots.

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I also (sadly) hardly ever hear "dame" or "broad" anymore, either.

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I was always partial to "sugartits"

Sorry, Mel Gibson account, I could wait for you no longer.

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I use ma'am because I don't want them to call INS on me.

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i think it's pretty tacky for anybody under 40ish to call a woman they don't know any of those things. if your boss was a woman, would you call her that?

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I encountered this a lot while in New Orleans, and in the south in general. Many women I encountered called everyone "baby" or "honey" or "sugar" and the men did it too with "darlin'" and "hon'", but also "ma'am" when speaking in a more respectful manner. It was kinda catchy and I find myself doing it at times now, though it's mostly "ma'am", at times, a random "hon" or "baby" will slip in; it may appear flirtatious, but I mean it in a totally unflirtatious way unless I'm saying it to my girlfriend.

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Matt Damon's character used the "Darling" all the time in The Departed and it was pretty damn cool

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Darlin, baby, beautiful, sweetheart, honey, gorgeous....I use them all regularly. No one's ever been offended by it, I am in the south though.

Our receptionist is a very sweet southern lady. She calls everyone, man or woman, baby or honey. I've had a few people complain, always women - always not from the south, when they got through to me that they were just called baby by the receptionist.

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i think it's pretty tacky for anybody under 40ish to call a woman they don't know any of those things. if your boss was a woman, would you call her that?

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Cool, I'm 40ish. Thanks darlin.

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Here in North Carolina it's pretty standard to call girls "sweetheart, babe, darlin" etc.

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i think it's pretty tacky for anybody under 40ish to call a woman they don't know any of those things. if your boss was a woman, would you call her that?

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Cool, I'm 40ish. Thanks darlin.

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Me too, love.

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That brings up another point though: if you're out with your girlfriend/wife do you still call waitresses "darling" or "gorgeous"?

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Since moving to Baltimore, I picked up calling women, "hon," and I do it with wife around. Since I use it with women of all ages and degrees of comeliness, it might as well be "miss" or "ma'am".

Gorgeous or darling would be out of line, wife around or not.

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I actually call my wife "Wife". For example, leaving in the morning I say "Have fun at work, Wife" or signing off on the telephone "Okay, see you at home, Wife". I don't know when it started, but it's always been used endearingly and never derogatorily. Well, almost never.

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I called my last wife Muffin. She loved it.