Favorite golf quotes.
 

"Don't play too much golf.
Two rounds a day are plenty."

-Harry Vardon


"Don't praise your own good shots.
Leave that function to your partner who,
If a good sport, will not be slow in performing it."

-Harry Vardon

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"Gunga galunga"

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"Ye swing at the grass real purty, hav' a try at the ball."
- Shivas Irons

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"I hope to be down to an A-cup by next season."

-Phil Mickelson

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"Even god cant hit a 1 iron"

-Trevino

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I was left with the easiest shot in golf - the fourth putt.
Hit the do-over first.
Never play with a person who would question a seven.

There are many more, they come from a book called Mulligans Rules of Golf, which I hightly recommend as easy joke reading.

Re: Favorite golf quotes.
 

[ QUOTE ]

Never play with a person who would question a seven.


[/ QUOTE ]

I am usually like this, as I hate spitting in a wound, but if I'm playing for money and am giving a guy 5 strokes a side, I need that mis-hack out of the weeds to count. Unless I'm misunderstanding the quote.

Re: Favorite golf quotes.
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Never play with a person who would question a seven.


[/ QUOTE ]

I am usually like this, as I hate spitting in a wound, but if I'm playing for money and am giving a guy 5 strokes a side, I need that mis-hack out of the weeds to count. Unless I'm misunderstanding the quote.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oops. I have been that guy. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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"Golf is a good walk spoiled."

Twain

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It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course. ~Hank Aaron, 1971

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How did you get a 13 on the xx hole?

I missed a long put for a 12!

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"Why am I using a new putter? Because the last one didn't float too well." -Craig Stadler

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The critical opening phrase of this poem will always be the grip. Which the hands unite to form a single unit by the simple overlap of the little finger. Lowly and slowly the clubhead is led back. Pulled into position not by the hands, but by the body which turns away from the target shifting weight to the right side without shifting balance. Tempo is everything; perfection unobtainable as the body coils down at the top of the swing. Theres a slight hesitation. A little nod to the gods. Yeah, to the gods. That he is fallible. That perfection is unobtainable. And now the weight begins shifting back to the left pulled by the powers inside the earth. It's alive, this swing! A living sculpture and down through contact, always down, striking the ball crisply, with character. A tuning fork goes off in your heart and your balls. Such a pure feeling is the well-struck golf shot. Now the follow through to finish. Always on line. The reverse C of the Golden Bear! The steel workers' power and brawn of Carl Sandburg's. Arnold Palmer!

Re: Favorite golf quotes.
 

[ QUOTE ]

There are many more, they come from a book called Mulligans Rules of Golf, which I hightly recommend as easy joke reading.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I used to have that book. Lost it somewhere. The one I remember is:

THE THREE RULES OF GOLF

- Keep your head down.

- Keep your stupid head down.

- Keep your goddamn stupid head down.

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"Anyone want a pronto pup?"
-Neal Lancaster, after blocking one way right on the 9th at TPC Southwind.



"not yet"
caddie to his hack player. hack had hit his Drive into the thick rough, and then was stepping heavily right behind the ball (standing on one foot) mashing the rough down in a better effort of getting solid contact.
He asked the caddie, "Do you think I can hit 5 wood from here?"

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[ QUOTE ]
How did you get a 13 on the xx hole?

I missed a long put for a 12!

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, forgot about that one.

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No clue why...
But...
"Alice!"

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Whenever I'm playing with my members and they start bumping their ball I ask them If they need a tee.

The saying at my club stuck so now everyone says, "Need a tee" when their opponent is improving their lie.

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Noonan

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Again, from Golf in the Kingdom, after a man renounces the game of golf:
"A toast to Peter's imminent departure, and his predictable return."

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"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." -Jack Lemmon

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Lee Trevino, when asked about the pressure of playing in a major tournament:

[ QUOTE ]
Pressure? This isn't pressure. Pressure is playing for 10 bucks a hole when you've got 5 bucks in your pocket.

[/ QUOTE ]

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someting my old man said to my brother (came from somewhere else I think)

"You're not good enough to get mad"

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"The last shot on every hole is always a good one."

-not sure

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"There are 2 things in life that don't last - dogs chasing cars and pros putting for pars"

Lee Trevino

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Did you hear about the new Super Wal-Mart being built. Its between my ball and yours.

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Lee Trevino is the [censored] man

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[ QUOTE ]
How did you get a 13 on the xx hole?

I missed a long put for a 12!

[/ QUOTE ]

along the same lines, someone asked Seve Ballesteros how he 4putted a hole during the Masters. "I mees, I mees, I mees, I make."

Re: Favorite golf quotes.
 

This is a quote from tennis but I think it's good enough to post here...

I don't remember the exact name of the player (I think it's Gary Leonidas (sp?). He lost to Jimmy Connors every time he played him. They played again with Connors being up lifetime something like 36-0.

This time though the guy beats Jimmy Connors! A reporter asked him after the match how he managed to finally beat Connors...

"Nobody, and I mean nobody beats Gary Leonidas 37 times in a row."

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[ QUOTE ]
Did you hear about the new Super Wal-Mart being built. Its between my ball and yours.

[/ QUOTE ]
oh tiger... how you mock basketball players who can't drive the ball like you...

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I don't have golf quotes but I love making movie quotes after a truly great drive. Some that I recycle often:

"I have made fire" - Cast Away
"King Kong has nothing on me" - Training Day
"Big hitter the Lama" - Caddy Shack
"I'm dropping the hammer, Harry" Days of thunder

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[ QUOTE ]
I don't remember the exact name of the player (I think it's Gary Leonidas (sp?).

"Nobody, and I mean nobody beats Vitas Gerulaitis 17 times in a row."

[/ QUOTE ]

[nit]Fixed the quote[/nit]

It was Vytautas (Vitas) Kevin Gerulaitis.

He lost 16 times to Jimmy Conners and then won. His record against Björn Borg is 0-16!

So he was right he never lost against the same person 17 times in a row.

Edit: BTW: I found him searching for Geriulaitis which is also wrong, but found a swedish newspaper article, they couldn't spell his name either, after a few other failed attempts [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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Some football coach, might have been Lou Holtz, was playing with Trevino and he blasted a putt way past the hole. He asked Trevino for advice on the next putt and Trevino said, "try to keep it low."

Another one is from Dan Jenkins' novel "Dead Solid Perfect," about the aura of Augusta National while watching Nicklaus and Tom Weiskopf play a practice round: "Two blonde Nazis strolling through the woods with a couple of Spades carrying their sh*t."

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"I just can't believe that I did that, I am such an idiot."

- Phil Mickelson

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Interviewer to John Daly: "How did you make 17 on that hole?

Daly: "I missed a 26 footer for 16"

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"Put it close, Sport."

I say this when my friend is standing over a six foot putt.