Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

I’m mainly posting this for the entertainment value, but if anyone is strongly opinionated about something they think I should do, feel free to chime in.

I’m an American on a 3-4 month short term assignment for my company in Sao Paulo, Brazil. I got drunk with the girl in question the first weekend that I was here, and kissed her at about 4am in a club. I was not interested in taking it any further, so nothing else happened.

Skip forward a month and we’re still hanging out and things seem fine. Out of the blue another girl in the office with whom I’ve become pretty close asked me if I slept with Girl A in a conference room at work? I was disappointed to hear this rumor, but our department is about 20 people, 15 of which are girls who mostly love to gossip, so I guess it was not so surprising. Girl B later told me that Girl A had actually started the rumor herself, but only told one person and she didn’t think it had gone very far. I got pissed.

A couple days later I found out that she had also told the story to a different person, and this time was crying while telling it. Apparently she also claims that she was in my hotel room one morning when someone from the office called me to set up a taxi ride and heard a female voice (it was the maid).

So this girl is clearly Fed up, and I guess by rejecting her I sent her over the edge. These “admissions” have only come about now that she’s found out I’ve been messing around with other girls. One of my friends thinks I should tell a senior manager in the office, since everyone will surely have heard it pretty soon, and I could set the record straight with those in charge. Someone else thinks I should confront her, but she’s unstable, and I can’t handle a nervous breakdown. I'm also not supposed to have heard this. Next time I am alone with her I’m probably going to innocently ask her if she has heard the rumor, to see what she says. Either way it should be fun.

If someone is offering advice and thinks it will make a difference, I have already told the company that I am quitting when I return to the US in a couple of months.

She’s not attractive, and I will not be supplying pictures.

CLIFF NOTES: I’m on a short term assignment in Brazil and a co-worker is telling other co-workers that we had sex in a conference room; once crying while recounting the story. It is not true.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

Pics of you and of girl so I can accurately judge.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

You're leaving both the company and Brazil soon? Any down side to doing her in the conference room?

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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You're leaving both the company and Brazil soon? Any down side to doing her in the conference room?

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Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

those latin people, they are hot blooded, ay caramba!

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

I fail to see the problem

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

"Next time I am alone with her"

This doesn't sound like a good idea unless you don't mind having false allegations of rape/sexual harassment charges filed against you.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

turn it into a true story by banging her, ldo

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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Pics of just the girl so I can accurately judge.

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FYP

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

so let me look at this, she wanted to [censored] you and you turned her down, then u get pissed when she gets mad at you

rejecting a girl really makes her feel good.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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I got drunk with the girl in question the first weekend that I was here, and kissed her at about 4am in a club. I was not interested in taking it any further, so nothing else happened.

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Ban

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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so let me look at this, she wanted to [censored] you and you turned her down, then u get pissed when she gets mad at you

rejecting a girl really makes her feel good.

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You ever had this happen to you? You can't pick and choose who fixates on you. Sometimes it's pretty damn uncomfortable.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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so let me look at this, she wanted to [censored] you and you turned her down, then u get pissed when she gets mad at you

rejecting a girl really makes her feel good.

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???

Gets mad at him? She's telling people, distraught, that he [censored] her. Is that what most rational women do when they get mad at a guy?

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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I’m an American on a 3-4 month short term assignment for my company in Sao Paulo, Brazil. I got drunk with the girl in question the first weekend that I was here, and kissed her at about 4am in a club. I was not interested in taking it any further, so nothing else happened.

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I stopped reading at this point. You're drunk, you're in a club, it's 4am, and you're making out with a girl but you don't want to take things further? I'm not understanding this.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

Umm pics?

http://media.ebaumsworld.com/2006/09/real-ugly-face.jpg

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

I'm going to guess this girl is very very rough.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

Go DIRECTLY to management/HR and get something documented in writing of exactly what happened, and has been happening.

Don't speak with girl alone.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

Only meet her alone if you really want to bang her. In all other cases (esp. at work), make sure that someone is around who can act as a witness (i.e. not her best friend).

And is there any Brazilian that you'd make out with in a club but not bang?!? WTF, seriously!

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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Go DIRECTLY to management/HR and get something documented in writing of exactly what happened, and has been happening.

Don't speak with girl alone.

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Good advice.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

I kinda dig her. She's pissed at you for not nailing her.
That makes up for the ugliness.

You are the problem. What are you, a tease? You make out with an ugly girl in public but won't nail her in private?

You make no sense. Please explain what I'm missing.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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You are the problem. What are you, a tease?

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Agreed that getting drunk and kissing her was a poor choice.

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Only meet her alone if you really want to bang her. In all other cases (esp. at work), make sure that someone is around who can act as a witness (i.e. not her best friend).


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Yeah, by "alone" I was referring to benign workplace activities. Lunch, elevator, occasional work dinner... that's really all I can think of.

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And is there any Brazilian that you'd make out with in a club but not bang?!? WTF, seriously!

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Probably a valid question. Again I'll say it was a poor choice.

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so let me look at this, she wanted to [censored] you and you turned her down, then u get pissed when she gets mad at you

rejecting a girl really makes her feel good.


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???

Gets mad at him? She's telling people, distraught, that he [censored] her. Is that what most rational women do when they get mad at a guy?

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Right, it's inventing crazy stories to tell co-workers that's the issue.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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Go DIRECTLY to management/HR and get something documented in writing of exactly what happened, and has been happening.

Don't speak with girl alone.

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Good advice.

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One of my friends is strongly in favor of this option. I can't decide if it is necessary.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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Go DIRECTLY to management/HR and get something documented in writing of exactly what happened, and has been happening.

Don't speak with girl alone.

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Good advice.

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One of my friends is strongly in favor of this option. I can't decide if it is necessary.

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It's not necessary, but it's crazy not to.

What are the drawbacks of doing this (assuming this is a professional workplace and whomever you tell is going to maintain confidentiality)?

Now what are the drawbacks if she claims you sexually harassed her and you have no evidence (or documentation) to the contrary?

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

Something similar happened to me years ago. A girls told people she and I had sex, which never happened. I told two people that she was lying, neither of them higher-ups. I'll never know how many people heard her story, though this girl had a reputation for being a pahtological liar and a nut, like the girl in your story.
You're caught in limbo, like I was. If her story never spreads, or is never believed by those who hear it, you're best to let it drop. Telling your side of the story to management may spread the news to those who would never have heard it otherwise, and you run the risk of having your reputation diminished in the eyes of someone who has a say in your career. (That you're moving on to another job and that this takes place in another country lessens the impact, though.)
On the other hand, do nothing and you run the risk of a whispering campaign starting behind your back. People will look at your silence as a sign of guilt. If she really wants to screw you, she could.
My advice is be nice to her, so she is less likely to go out of her way to stab you in the back. Just as in poker, it's better to keep your hand secret, and don't let her know you are pissed.
In my situation, I did nothing, and nothing ever came of it that I know about.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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Now what are the drawbacks if she claims you sexually harassed her and you have no evidence (or documentation) to the contrary?

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Would the preliminary strike like this look good/be of any use as supporting evidence? I mean, it's ultimately still he said/she said, isn't it? I would think sharing details of your sex life with your superiors would look weird enough that doing it before a threatened suit would be kind of suspicious looking.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

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Apparently she also claims that she was in my hotel room one morning when someone from the office called me to set up a taxi ride and heard a female voice (it was the maid).

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Wait am I reading this correctly? When you were in your hotel room someone called from the office, in the background they heard a female voice that was actually the maid, yet somehow she convinced the person on the other line that it was actually her there?

This sounds really, really sinister.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

Uncle W, interesting comments. Thanks

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Apparently she also claims that she was in my hotel room one morning when someone from the office called me to set up a taxi ride and heard a female voice (it was the maid).

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Wait am I reading this correctly? When you were in your hotel room someone called from the office, in the background they heard a female voice that was actually the maid, yet somehow she convinced the person on the other line that it was actually her there?

This sounds really, really sinister.

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Almost correct. I spoke with A on the phone. A had mentioned the voice to a couple of people, including B. Crazy girl told B that it had been her voice.

Re: Co-worker makes up story about sexing me at work
 

I think the lesson here is, always take things further when given the opportunity.