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What should I buy with mstAA mAArtini\'s monies?

So there's this really awful spewy reg on FTP that goes by the alias of mstAA mAArtini. I won a lot of money off of him in a very short 5/10 session today and he berated me in the chat and called me a donk blablabla. Basically he is one of those people that plays really bad and makes lots of dumb bluffs all the time and then berates other players because he is a.delusional and b.needs to make himself feel better about being bad at poker. I would now like to show you the following evidence of how bad he is.

Hand 1.

Full Tilt Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $10 BB (4 handed) Hand History converter Courtesy of PokerZion.com

Button ($2341.45)
SB ($1491.50)
BB ($1943.50)
Hero ($1440)

Preflop: Hero is UTG with 5[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], 5[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img].
Hero raises to $35, 1 fold, SB raises to $134, 1 fold, Hero calls $99.

Flop: ($278) 6[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], 2[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], 5[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] (2 players)
SB bets $214, Hero calls $214.

Turn: ($706) T[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] (2 players)
SB bets $1143.5 (All-In), Hero calls $1092 (All-In).

River: ($2941.50) K[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] (2 players, 2 all-in)
.

Final Pot: $2941.50

Results in white below: 
SB has 3h Th (one pair, tens).
Hero has 5s 5d (three of a kind, fives).
Outcome: Hero wins $2890. SB wins $51.50. 

so then he reloads and wins this hand against a solid regular.

Full Tilt Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $10 BB (4 handed) Hand History converter Courtesy of PokerZion.com

BB ($1015)
UTG ($1960.50)
Button ($70.30)
Hero ($2878)

Preflop: Hero is SB with 7[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img], 9[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].
UTG raises to $35, 1 fold, Hero calls $30, BB raises to $156, UTG raises to $525, Hero folds, BB calls $334.

Flop: ($1050) T[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img], 2[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img], 7[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] (2 players)
BB bets $525 (All-In), UTG calls $525.

Turn: ($2100) 8[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] (2 players, 1 all-in)
.

River: ($2100) 8[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] (2 players, 1 all-in)

Final Pot: $2100

Results in white below: 
BB has 9d Ad (flush, ace high).
UTG has Ah Ac (two pair, aces and eights).
Outcome: BB wins $2100. 

then I take it all because he is dumb in hand 3

Full Tilt Poker No-Limit Hold'em, $10 BB (5 handed) Hand History converter Courtesy of PokerZion.com

UTG ($1738)
MP ($1013.80)
Button ($185)
Hero ($2833)
BB ($1283.50)

Preflop: Hero is SB with T[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img], J[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img].
UTG raises to $35, 2 folds, Hero raises to $125, 1 fold, UTG calls $90.

Flop: ($260) 7[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img], A[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img], 6[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (2 players)
Hero bets $180, UTG calls $180.

Turn: ($620) 8[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] (2 players)
Hero checks, UTG checks.

River: ($620) T[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] (2 players)
Hero bets $420, UTG raises to $1433 (All-In), Hero calls $1013.

Final Pot: $3486

Results in white below: 
Hero has Th Jh (flush, jack high).
UTG has 7s Ks (one pair, sevens).
Outcome: Hero wins $3486. 

He then berates me for 3 betting with JTs which is funny considering the hands he showed up with in the above 3 hands. Basically, since I think he's dumb and don't care about this money because it was basically free, I'd like to spend it on something. It can be dumb, funny, useful, whatever. Whoever comes up with the best way for me to spend $3500 I will send them $50 on FTP. Holla!