I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

I had a really [censored] crazy night tonight and i'm losing my [censored] mind. I'll try to give details as accurately as possible.

Ok, so courtney and I have been going out for about six months now, she used to be my roommate and one thing lead to another and we became a couple somehow. It was a little sketchy in the begining. One night, I heard her [censored] some guy (the guy I beat up tonight) shortly after we started hooking up. It was kind of a big deal, I almost move out even though we werent a couple at the time. She feels badly, somehow not that long afterward we turn into a "real couple".

I would say our biggest problem in our relationship is my jealousy...this is clear evidence against her cheating on me. Sometimes she gets drunk and stays out really late, mostly with guys some of which she has history with. I freak out a bit every time this happens. To be clear, in my head, logically I dont think she would cheat on me...I just get worked up.

Shoot to tonight. She gos out to a friends down the street, does some drinking. At around 230 I hear voices outside, shes talking to one of her friends, I wait like ten minutes, then look out the window and shes hugging that guy. So im like great she'll come in soon, its kind of [censored] up that their hugging like that. A couple minutes later there still "hugging". The light in the street isn't so good...but it could be that there kissing and not hugging... I can't really tell. After a minute or so, i see her hands reach across his back, and it sets me off ( in a hug kind of way) and I convince myself that this is [censored] up and I rush outside. I walk up to them and say probably in an agressive manner, "whats going on?". "Is this what it looks like?", something to that effect. The guy shrugs, half smiles. I ask again. He doesn't say anything. So I push him, he falls over as he's drunk and I say something like "tell me you didnt do anything", he doesnt say anything so I take that as an admission of guilt and start to kick his ass. I kick him when hes on the ground a couple times, punch him in the face pretty hard. He asks me to give him a hand up and I say sure, hoping that hes going to fight back (he hadnt at all so far)...then and think twice thinking hes going to pull some [censored] while I'm trying to help him up (I think after the first kick courtney runs away down the street). So he gets up, I lose my desire to fight because its pretty clear that hes not fighting back and it turns out I dont like to fight so much. So I ask him again if he did anything with her, because something doesnt feel right, I say its ok if he says yes, Im done fighting, I just need to know etc.. And he says no, he didnt. And starts to tell a story as to what happens. I get the feeling that he was consoling her or thats what hes trying to say...

He didn't finish his story as I ran off somewhere in the middle when I realized that she ran off and that I might have made a big mistake. I call him a [censored] idiot for not saying anything.

So eventually I find her and shes pretty pissed. She says she didn't do anything, I have anger management issues, that i'm lucky that this wasnt one of her good friends from home or else she would, and she breaks off. At this point in time I feel convinced that I made a big mistake and run off to go apologize to that kid. I cant find him, so I head back to the house...on the way I found courtney sitting on the side of the street crying where I left her. I freak out abit more (mad at myself now), then calm down and convince her to come inside. She comes inside and she immediately passes out on the couch (or pretends to).
So now its 530 in the morning and im thinking [censored] over and cant decide if she actually cheated on me or not. This is where you guys come in.

To sum it up heres the reasons why it could or couldn't have happened.

COULD HAVE
it kinda looked like it from the window
they have history
he didnt stop me or fight back, shrugged shoulders as if to say yeah sorry, what can i say
she ran away instead of stopping me
he didn't seem pissed that i beat him up for no good reason
courney says you should have been hitting me
he only said nothing happened when i kept on repeating "say nothing happened"


he was drunk might not have understood what was going on

he might have thought i was mad about the prolonged hug and i was being a crazy person. While I was beating him up he might have thought there was nothing he could say to stop me

his shrug smile could be interpretted as something like yeah we were hugging

im paranoid about this kind of stuff, frequently freak out about guys im worried about her being with
i believed her when she said she didn't
Her reaction was consistent with someone who just had there good friend beaten the crap out of for no good reason

things have been going really well with her, why would she do that and if she did why would she directly outside the house.

If it wasnt for him not saying anything, it is definately something I could be overfreaking out about.

She says she has never cheated on anyone before and shes telling the truth.


So yeah, whats your guess? Helpful suggestions.....

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

cliff notes?

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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cliff notes?

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fat uggo gets outplayed by PUA, violence ensues

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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cliff notes?

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those are the cliff notes [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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cliff notes?

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fat uggo gets outplayed by PUA, violence ensues

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Then I suppose the answer is 'yes'

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

meh, you did the right thing OP. only thing you did wrong was not whooping the complete [censored] out of him.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

You need counseling.........and don't play anything higher than 2cent/4cent limit until you're cured. Otherwise, the next time you take 3 consecutive bad beats, you'll tilt off your whole bankroll.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

Well.. sounds like the woman likes to go get drunk with random guys, or guys that she's [censored] before. That's bad for you. Second, if she knows this stuff pisses you off, she wouldn't do it if she really cared about you. She sounds like a sloot personally.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

You're a [censored] psycho.

Either you''re not worth being faitful too. Most probably because you're a [censored] psycho. Or she's not worth getting worked up about.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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I kick him when hes on the ground a couple times, punch him in the face pretty hard. He asks me to give him a hand up and I say sure , hoping that hes going to fight back (he hadnt at all so far)...

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WTFFFF

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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I kick him when hes on the ground a couple times, punch him in the face pretty hard. He asks me to give him a hand up and I say sure , hoping that hes going to fight back (he hadnt at all so far)...

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WTFFFF

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Fighting someone who isn't fighting back, is not what I call a good time. I believed he was just making out with her, thought he deserved an ass kicking and didnt think it was very gentalmenly to do so if he was fighting back. So I thought he was saying help me up so we can fight for real. whats so [censored] up about that?

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

As a side note, I don't think ive been in a real fight since I was 14 yrs old. I don't like fighting, I just lost my cool and he was being such an ass.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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I kick him when hes on the ground a couple times, punch him in the face pretty hard. He asks me to give him a hand up and I say sure , hoping that hes going to fight back (he hadnt at all so far)...

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WTFFFF

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Fighting someone who isn't fighting back, is not what I call a good time. I believed he was just making out with her, thought he deserved an ass kicking and didnt think it was very gentalmenly to do so if he was fighting back. So I thought he was saying help me up so we can fight for real. whats so [censored] up about that?

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If he couldnt even pick himself up off the ground, what makes you think it'd be a fair fight? (since you seem very concerned about being a gentleman and fighting fairly)

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

If she isnt respecting your punches try using less of them on her, however making the ones you do use count for more

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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If she isnt respecting your punches try using less of them on her, however making the ones you do use count for more

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tight aggressive?

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

put that ho in her place

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

dude sounds to me like u cnt trust her 4 [censored]. and if u cnt then knock it on the head. [censored] gettin worked up about wether shes cheatin on u when shes out. it ent worth it.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

Fold prebirth

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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If she isnt respecting your punches try using less of them on her, however making the ones you do use count for more

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beating up women is funny

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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Fold prebirth

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close thread now.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

Innocent goodbye hugs don't last for more than 5-10 seconds. Thus this was not an innocent hug. Also, her habit of getting drunk with guys she has a relationship with is not good. Unless, of course, you don't mind. But given than you pounded this guy, I take it you do mind.

All that being said, the answer to this dilemma isn't going to be solved by beating him up. If she likes to get drunk, and flooze around, there will be other guys who gladly will participate.

Thus you need to get rid of her, or get used to it. You may have anger management issues, and you shouldn't of smashed the guy, but wtf? You've got a girl that you hooked up with right after she did another guy and you heard it and got mad, and now she's getting drunk with guys she has a history with and staying out late? F that. Get some respect for yourself and kick her to the curb.

I mean that last statement figuratively, please don't punch her.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

yeah, you seriously need to go to an anger management class dude.

wtffff.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

Reading some of these other replies, I kind of suspect that I might be in the minority on this, which surprises me, but...

I'm definitely not accustomed to my gf giving long, familiar hugs to other guys. Multiply this by like 10 when we're talking about an ex. If she were going places with groups of friends that happens to include men, sure that's fine, that's something else.

Given the circumstances, Dude Hugging Your Woman For Too Long was way, way out of line. If you run into an old friend from high school that you haven't seen in 10 years, that's a smile, a quick hug and 4 minutes of catching up before going back to shopping. Note how this differs from a 5 minute drunken embrace with an ex-boyfriend at 2:30 in the [censored] morning.

I don't know if she actually cheated, but I doubt she can be trusted and her judgment obviously sucks. The ex should have known better, and even though this kind of drama is long behind me, you weren't out of line kicking his ass at all. Even if she was legit, he wasn't.

I wouldn't have the patience for this, myself, but if you do I think you need to set some serious boundaries and see if you can get her out of immature high school mode.

Edit: Or, what El Hombre above said, except for maybe beating the guy up, I think that's standard here. A least a punch in the mouth, maybe just shove him into a picnic table... something more than a "WTF?" is required here. Of course, I'm in NJ, we might be a little more testy. It's not designed to solve the problem, this is mostly a punitive measure.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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Reading some of these other replies, I kind of suspect that I might be in the minority on this, which surprises me, but...

I'm definitely not accustomed to my gf giving long, familiar hugs to other guys. Multiply this by like 10 when we're talking about an ex. If she were going places with groups of friends that happens to include men, sure that's fine, that's something else.

Given the circumstances, Dude Hugging Your Woman For Too Long was way, way out of line. If you run into an old friend from high school that you haven't seen in 10 years, that's a smile, a quick hug and 4 minutes of catching up before going back to shopping. Note how this differs from a 5 minute drunken embrace with an ex-boyfriend at 2:30 in the [censored] morning.

I don't know if she actually cheated, but I doubt she can be trusted and her judgment obviously sucks. The ex should have known better, and even though this kind of drama is long behind me, you weren't out of line kicking his ass at all. Even if she was legit, he wasn't.

I wouldn't have the patience for this, myself, but if you do I think you need to set some serious boundaries and see if you can get her out of immature high school mode.

Edit: Or, what El Hombre above said, except for maybe beating the guy up, I think that's standard here. A least a punch in the mouth, maybe just shove him into a picnic table... something more than a "WTF?" is required here. Of course, I'm in NJ, we might be a little more testy. It's not designed to solve the problem, this is mostly a punitive measure.

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Gonso,

Perhaps my response made it seem that I wouldnt take any action against said incident, which couldn't be further from the truth. I just feel that he needs to handle his girl a little better rather than running up and decking the dude without much forethought (and then claiming he's some sort of honorable guy when he tried to have a "fair fight" with someone whos obv wasted and unable to fight). Just my 2

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

and wow, this is wayyyyy too much strat in bbv

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

this is totally a standard hand and imho a totally standard line. i would not have checked behind on the river though, i would have finished the ass kicking, your gonna be in some [censored] anyways, might as well get in your kicks, ya dig?

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Reading some of these other replies, I kind of suspect that I might be in the minority on this, which surprises me, but...

I'm definitely not accustomed to my gf giving long, familiar hugs to other guys. Multiply this by like 10 when we're talking about an ex. If she were going places with groups of friends that happens to include men, sure that's fine, that's something else.

Given the circumstances, Dude Hugging Your Woman For Too Long was way, way out of line. If you run into an old friend from high school that you haven't seen in 10 years, that's a smile, a quick hug and 4 minutes of catching up before going back to shopping. Note how this differs from a 5 minute drunken embrace with an ex-boyfriend at 2:30 in the [censored] morning.

I don't know if she actually cheated, but I doubt she can be trusted and her judgment obviously sucks. The ex should have known better, and even though this kind of drama is long behind me, you weren't out of line kicking his ass at all. Even if she was legit, he wasn't.

I wouldn't have the patience for this, myself, but if you do I think you need to set some serious boundaries and see if you can get her out of immature high school mode.

Edit: Or, what El Hombre above said, except for maybe beating the guy up, I think that's standard here. A least a punch in the mouth, maybe just shove him into a picnic table... something more than a "WTF?" is required here. Of course, I'm in NJ, we might be a little more testy. It's not designed to solve the problem, this is mostly a punitive measure.

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Gonso,

Perhaps my response made it seem that I wouldnt take any action against said incident, which couldn't be further from the truth. I just feel that he needs to handle his girl a little better rather than running up and decking the dude without much forethought (and then claiming he's some sort of honorable guy when he tried to have a "fair fight" with someone whos obv wasted and unable to fight). Just my 2

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I didnt mean to say I was trying to be honorable, I just wanted to beat him up some more(because i thought he deserved it) and thought that it would be better if he were standing atleast temporarilly. Also, he wasn't THAT drunk. He was not slurring his speach, he could have fought back.

Also thanks to the guys that are saying that I should have more respect for myself, set up boundries, dump her basically any real advice other than your a psycho.

Believe me theres something really wrong with you if you were in my situation and you did not want to inflict physical pain on this kid.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

anger management therapy and learning trust ftw.

edit to add;
the long hug is obv a bit shady, but you either trust her or you don't = stay with her or don't

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

Here's what happened: GF was shaking of fear of going back in and this guy tries to comfort her. GF is absolutely terrified of the OP who probadly has a lot of anger management problems and doesn't dare to say anything. Probadly the GF never loved OP but is so afraid he will do something to her if she isnt his GF and she has nowhere to go becouse she lives there too.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

Also, shouldn't this go in full ring?

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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Also, shouldn't this go in full ring?

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omg this is lol^2

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

yeh ur def not crazy. i woulda done the same thing if i was in that situation. anyone who wouldn't is a p*ssy.

word of advice : never go out with a girl you can't trust from the start. it's only a waste of time and it makes one overthink things and go f'n crazy.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

I understand that OP's anger management issues can play into some problems, and I'm not brushing that aside. All I'm saying is that given the circumstances, a reasonable person (WITHOUT anger management issues) could be justifiably angry here.

I'd start working on your abs now, so when you kick her out you can get a replacement gf/roommate in short order. Check for steady job and non-ho tendencies.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

Hi Skoole is funn. Butt Kommunity Kollege is Better

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

It is never ever an option to hit another person. Is it really that difficult? If your own insecurity becomes so big of a problem that it could lead to you hitting someone, you are not ready for a relationship.

Dr. Phil over and out.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

^^^ Girl

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

Gotta wonder what a guy with jealousy and anger management issues is doing with a woman who likes to stay out late drinking with her (former) lovers.

What's the word? Trainwreck.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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cliff notes?

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She's a whore. He's an insecure little bitch.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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Believe me theres something really wrong with you if you were in my situation and you did not want to inflict physical pain on this kid.

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Why are you pissed at him? It's not his fault your gf is a whore.

Re: I beat someone up, help me decide if my gf cheated on me
 

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Fold prebirth

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I just fell out of my chair laughing.

Sounds like a bad situation, exacerbated by violence. Talk it our with her today.........sober.