![]() |
The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
Spare me the "these movies don't have the thought-provoking sincerity of (pussy-ass movie such-and-such)" already. For those of us who love zombie movies we know that they are the only evidence of the existence of a loving god that has ever meant anything. Secretly, every zombie-flick lover longs to wake up to a zombie-infested world so that he or she might have the blessed opportunity to take up a baseball bat, crowbar, shotgun or steak knife and go kill some [censored] zombies. As is common knowledge cited in my sources from Wiki to Britannica to the Library of Congress, the only thing more badass than zombies is killing zombies. This point needs no discussion or debate.
I will hereby offer up a meager suggestion of some of the most killer and badass zombie movies that this good earth has graced me with the time to see. If I could choose between the world I live in now and a world filled with zombies and myself and a few survivors (obviously you need some survivors to outlast) I would rationally choose the zombie world. A world of zombies is better than this world in a number of respects. Firstly, zombies don't post in the politics forum. Zombies don't wear giant sunglasses or wear tube-tops when they're too fat to look hot in them. Zombies wear flannel shirts and jeans. They eat babies. Here's what sucks about most people: http://images.quizilla.com/H/H0/H0T/...173_preppy.jpg Need I say more? No, I didn't think so. I think any rational and emotional human being would rather see people like this eaten by zombies. If zombies are not available to eat these people we can only hope that their heads explode such that the zombies may feed on their corpses before we wage our glorious, holy war against them. Like this: http://www.best-horror-movies.com/im...-explosion.jpg Now wasn't that satisfying? Of course it was. But to get back to business: although it goes without saying that a zombie world far exceeds our current world in terms of awesomeness, badassness, beauty, love and majesty, there are still some who fear being eaten by zombies. My girlfriend, for example, loves horror movies but is actually afraid of zombies. I try to tell her (always with a forlorn look on my face while I scratch my nails across my wrists) that zombies don't even exist so she has nothing to fear. She can barely sit through 2 or 3 consecutive viewings of Severed - Forest of the Dead without being scared and nervous. As a student of zombies I am fully qualified to kill at least three or four dozen zombies with only the contents of the average American kitchen. I could easily protect her. Plus my zombie-killing-weapons finding skills are far superior to 99.999999% of living humans. Within 1 to 2 hours of a zombie infestation I could harness the power of a multiply-chainsaw-armed vehicle and several buckshot-loaded shotguns. Still, my girlfriend's hesitance to watch zombie movies with me suggests two things: 1) she is of weak moral fiber and is not worthy of my magnanimous love 2) she is a zombie I realize at this point that some of you are still doubting my assertions that a zombie world is better than the present world. Let your doubts wash away. http://www.best-horror-movies.com/im...-zombies-2.jpg Yes. That would be so much cooler than a bunch of deuchebags with dyed hair-tips shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch hitting on fat white girls. So much cooler than poor people wearing sweatpants asking for change. The greatness of a zombie world is immeasurable. I sense that you are doubting your worthiness to exist in the sheer awesomeness that is zombie world. You're right, you are not worthy even to be a lowly zombie who gets eaten by other zombies. Here is a brief list of the criteria needed to be badass enough to live in zombie world: 1) you must be me, since I am obviously the authority here 2) you must be him: http://images.wikia.com/uncyclopedia...ing_Rhames.JPG Let me briefly comment on faux-zombie-flicks. "Rage" is not zombies. 28 Days Later, while a good movie, is not a zombie movie. Land of the Dead sucked too much to be a zombie movie. Also, that retarded dude who was in spawn negates any zombie content present in it. It is disbarred from zombie-movie-awesomeness. This guy is a [censored] loser:http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/8499/lozaryi0.jpg I realize that very few (if any) of you are worthy of the awesomeness of zombie movies. For the elite few among you, I ask you OOT: What is the best zombie movie you have ever seen? Here is a poll to help you answer more correctly than your weak, flawed, non-zombie brains will otherwise allow you to do. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
Started out good but you screwed up. Dawn Of The Dead REMAKE??? Seriously?
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
Started out good but you screwed up. Dawn Of The Dead REMAKE??? Seriously? [/ QUOTE ] The original Dawn of the Dead was awesome, but it predated me (I'm only 24, though that's like 195 in zombie years) and I think Ving Rhames is arguably the most badass person ever. I dug the remake. What do you suggest is better? |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre is actually cheezy 80's ninja movies.
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre is actually cheezy 80's ninja movies. [/ QUOTE ] http://images.greencine.com/images/m...112261qcek.jpg Winner of that sub-genre obviously. But not nearly as cool as a zombie movie. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
28 Days later... & 28 Weeks later is out on the 11th May
Dawn of the dead takes some beating though. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
No. 1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:2...r-poster-1.jpg Out on the 11th May: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:2...ter2_large.jpg [/ QUOTE ] It looks dope and I cannot wait. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
yar kiil teh zombiez
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
DAWN OF THE DEAD (the Ving Rhames remake) [/ QUOTE ] NO. Original Dawn of the Dead is the greatest zombie flick ever, by a wide margin. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
what are your thoughts on "Shaun of the Dead" ?
That one makes my A list of zombie movies.. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
The original Dawn of the Dead was awesome, but it predated me (I'm only 24, though that's like 195 in zombie years) and I think Ving Rhames is arguably the most badass person ever. I dug the remake. What do you suggest is better? [/ QUOTE ] Ving Rhames is cool you are right. My favourite is actually the somewhat underrated Day Of The Dead. This is THE zombie flick of all times for me. The plot or characters aren't that interesting but man the ZOMBIES are best in the history of cinema. It has gore too. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
I'm a big fan of Return of the Living Dead, it's the movie that made me love Zombie movies.
Planet Terror > DOTD remake. Shaun of the Dead is genius. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
The greatest movie sub-genres are actually Women in Prison movies and their closely related sub-subgenre of Nazisploitation. LInk is NSFW.
... and if you like recent zombie movies check out Planet Terror while it's still in theaters. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
No love for the 1968 classic Night of the Living Dead?
I'm not even a fan of the genre. But this movie is tremendous. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
The greatest movie sub-genres are actually Women in Prison movies and their closely related sub-subgenre of Nazisploitation. LInk is NSFW. ... and if you like recent zombie movies check out Planet Terror while it's still in theaters. [/ QUOTE ] That movie is just so wrong lol. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
The greatest movie sub-genres are actually Women in Prison movies and their closely related sub-subgenre of Nazisploitation. LInk is NSFW. [/ QUOTE ] Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS is one of the greatest movies ever. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
Maddox?
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
No love for the 1968 classic Night of the Living Dead? I'm not even a fan of the genre. But this movie is tremendous. [/ QUOTE ] Best horror movie ever, unless you count Alien. NOTLD is still spooky. Also 28 Days Later may be my personal #2 zombie flick. Any movie that can make me spooked out to walk home late at night - at age 36 - gets some serious dap with me. But I haven't seen Dawn of the Dead since I was a little kid. I need to check it out again. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] Started out good but you screwed up. Dawn Of The Dead REMAKE??? Seriously? [/ QUOTE ] The original Dawn of the Dead was awesome, but it predated me (I'm only 24, though that's like 195 in zombie years) and I think Ving Rhames is arguably the most badass person ever. I dug the remake. What do you suggest is better? [/ QUOTE ] Night of the Living Dead >>>> All others |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
I'm a big fan of Return of the Living Dead, it's the movie that made me love Zombie movies. Planet Terror > DOTD remake. Shaun of the Dead is genius. [/ QUOTE ] Return of the Dead is probably my favorite too. But I agree with the other guy that the original Dawn of the Dead is probably the best by a wide margin. Also a big fan of the remake of Dawn, too. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
Shaun of the Dead was excellent I thought. Aside from the older classics are there any other good cult zombie flicks to see? I've seen "Severed - Forest of the Dead" which involved (get this) hippies, lumberjacks and zombies. As you can no doubt imagine it was pretty awesome. Any other good ones?
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
My weird story with Night of the Living Dead.
I don't like horror movies typically and I knew nothing of this flick. I was at some multi-level nightclub in Washington DC in the early-mid 90's and this movie was playing on a bunch of different monitors around the place. But there was no sound of course so I didn't really know what was going on or what even what movie it was. I thought it was the most amazing LOOKING movie I had ever seen. I almost liked it better without the sound. Such amazing tension. I was transfixed. Of course, watching this movie to Ace of Base's "I Saw the Sign" made it all the more surreal. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
My weird story with Night of the Living Dead. I don't like horror movies typically and I knew nothing of this flick. I was at some multi-level nightclub in Washington DC in the early-mid 90's and this movie was playing on a bunch of different monitors around the place. But there was no sound of course so I didn't really know what was going on or what even what movie it was. I thought it was the most amazing LOOKING movie I had ever seen. I almost liked it better without the sound. Such amazing tension. I was transfixed. Of course, watching this movie to Ace of Base's "I Saw the Sign" made it all the more surreal. [/ QUOTE ] That's bizarre and awesome, I can't even picture what that must have been like. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
I agre with poll..bu i dont wanna wake up to know theres an apocalyptic invasion
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
bit off topic, but you should vastly prefer a katana over a chainsaw as the chainsaw will run out of gas at some point leaving you SOL.
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
mbillie,
I too have recurring fantasies of waking up in a zombie infested world and going on a rampage of zombie destruction. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
mbillie, I too have recurring fantasies of waking up in a zombie infested world and going on a rampage of zombie destruction. [/ QUOTE ] It would rule so hard. I pray that science is wrong about everything and one day zombies will start eating people so I can go pwn some zombies. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
bit off topic, but you should vastly prefer a katana over a chainsaw as the chainsaw will run out of gas at some point leaving you SOL. [/ QUOTE ] Yeah obviously a katana is necessary. Chainsaws and a katana is where it's at though. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
What if you ran out of zombies? You couldn't just make new zombies by killing everyone else off, because then there would be no one to make foolhardy rescues of and bang in the back of the armored bus. You might have to set up breeding centers or something, maybe make clones to turn into zombies, to keep the supply up. Otherwise you'd eventually have to stop killing zombies and just get a job. A non-zombie job.
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
What if you ran out of zombies? You couldn't just make new zombies by killing everyone else off, because then there would be no one to make foolhardy rescues of and bang in the back of the armored bus. You might have to set up breeding centers or something, maybe make clones to turn into zombies, to keep the supply up. Otherwise you'd eventually have to stop killing zombies and just get a job. A non-zombie job. [/ QUOTE ] Well ideally the entire world would be zombies, save a few survivors. I could go my entire life killing zombies and eventually learn their habits and ways. When it was my time to die I could simply infect myself and die knowing that I was contributing to the continued awesomeness of a zombie-infested world. [censored] getting a job man, what I need is zombies. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
Man, you knwo the movie "the game" with michael douglas, what if someone started a company that does that kind of stuff, but with zombies, or ghosts, etc. that would make a billion dollars.
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
Slow Zombies>Fast Zombies
|
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
Slow Zombies>Fast Zombies [/ QUOTE ] for nostalgic purposes slow zombies rule, but on sheer scariness the fast zombies are much more frightening. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
[ QUOTE ]
Man, you knwo the movie "the game" with michael douglas, what if someone started a company that does that kind of stuff, but with zombies, or ghosts, etc. that would make a billion dollars. [/ QUOTE ] I saw most of The Game for the first time ever just a couple weeks ago on cable. That was a weird flick. I'm not sure it was exactly 'good' but I'm not unsure of that either. I think I would need to see it again. I definitely want to be in that company that does this in a zombie-like way. guids - please start the company and then hire me. Every zombie-group needs a short, bald, middle-aged zombie. |
Re: The Greatest Movie Sub-Genre: Zombie Flicks
Obviously Braindead pwns all. "I kick ass for The Lord!!!"
|
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:45 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.