Calling someone by their first name
 

I was wondering if you receive a letter or e-mail from someone and they sign it using their first name only if that makes it okay for you to call them by their first name?

Hypothetical example: You write a letter to John Doe. In your letter you refer to him as "Mr. Doe". He writes back and signs it John.

If I were to write back again would it be cool for me to just call him John, as opposed to Mr. Doe?

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

This is fine unless its a job application-related I think, then I still feel a little weird. Anyone that would be pretentious enough to care would have signed the email with their full name.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

I think it depends a bit on your relationship with this person, but in the vast majority of cases it would be OK.

For example, if I was corresponding with a perspective employer, I'd still use "Mr. XXXXX" until I was actually hired.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

wait, letters? like in the mail? whoa, i didn't think anyone did that anymore

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

Funny story- My friend is in law school and was applying for judicial clerkships. He called the office to check the status of his application and see if they needed any additional information. THe person answering the phone was some type of clerk.

Him- "Hello, My name is John Doe and I recently applied for the summer internship position and was wondering if you knew when a decision would be available. I also wanted to let you guys know that grades recently came out, if those or any other additional information could be helpful in making your decisions."

Seems fine right? The clerk then went off an a fifteen minute long lecture about him saying "you guys". He declared it an insult to the judge, and told him that he's lucky his application didn't get thrown in the trash right then for such an informal, blah blah.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

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wait, letters? like in the mail? whoa, i didn't think anyone did that anymore

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Just an example. I haven't written a mail letter in about 10 years. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

For the record: The real life situation does not involve any type of future employment.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

[ QUOTE ]
Funny story- My friend is in law school and was applying for judicial clerkships. He called the office to check the status of his application and see if they needed any additional information. THe person answering the phone was some type of clerk.

Him- "Hello, My name is John Doe and I recently applied for the summer internship position and was wondering if you knew when a decision would be available. I also wanted to let you guys know that grades recently came out, if those or any other additional information could be helpful in making your decisions."

Seems fine right? The clerk then went off an a fifteen minute long lecture about him saying "you guys". He declared it an insult to the judge, and told him that he's lucky his application didn't get thrown in the trash right then for such an informal, blah blah.

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Lol, he should insult the guy for being a secretary and ask if any real employees of the office were available to chat.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

[ QUOTE ]
Funny story- My friend is in law school and was applying for judicial clerkships. He called the office to check the status of his application and see if they needed any additional information. THe person answering the phone was some type of clerk.

Him- "Hello, My name is John Doe and I recently applied for the summer internship position and was wondering if you knew when a decision would be available. I also wanted to let you guys know that grades recently came out, if those or any other additional information could be helpful in making your decisions."

Seems fine right? The clerk then went off an a fifteen minute long lecture about him saying "you guys". He declared it an insult to the judge, and told him that he's lucky his application didn't get thrown in the trash right then for such an informal, blah blah.

[/ QUOTE ]

In this case the correct usage would've been "y'all".

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

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[ QUOTE ]
Funny story- My friend is in law school and was applying for judicial clerkships. He called the office to check the status of his application and see if they needed any additional information. THe person answering the phone was some type of clerk.

Him- "Hello, My name is John Doe and I recently applied for the summer internship position and was wondering if you knew when a decision would be available. I also wanted to let you guys know that grades recently came out, if those or any other additional information could be helpful in making your decisions."

Seems fine right? The clerk then went off an a fifteen minute long lecture about him saying "you guys". He declared it an insult to the judge, and told him that he's lucky his application didn't get thrown in the trash right then for such an informal, blah blah.

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Lol, he should insult the guy for being a secretary and ask if any real employees of the office were available to chat.

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actually the guy that bawled him out probably held the position he was applying for. being a judge's bitch for a year or two is considered prestigious.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

I've been dating my gf for 5 years, living with her for 3, and still have no idea if its okay to call her father by his first name.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

is he supposed to sign it "Mr. Doe"?

Anything official, anything where you're asking for something, keep using Mr. Doe.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

My professors do this all the time and its really annoying. I send an e-mail like "Dr. Smith..." and then they reply and sign it with their first name, I can never figure out whether I should continue to use Dr. or their first name in subsequent e-mails but I figure the safe play is to continue using Dr. unless they explicitly tell you not to.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

Easy rule is to just keep things formal (Professor, Doctor, Sir, Mr. RunDownHouse'sGirlfiend'sSurname) in writing and especially spoken. Those that want you to use their first name will correct you.

As for the law clerk -- his reaction was out of line, but "your office" or something like it would have been better than "you guys" in that conversation.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

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I've been dating my gf for 5 years, living with her for 3, and still have no idea if its okay to call her father by his first name.

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Maybe you should get a new cell phone... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

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Anything official, anything where you're asking for something, keep using Mr. Doe.

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I've been doing a bunch of work with hiring people, and I'll occasionally get emails to Mr. Shabado. They make me laugh since nobody that knows me has (or likely ever will) call me by anything as formal as that. However, it only makes sense. Nobody gets offended by you calling them Mr/Mrs X, but there are some people that would be offended by someone using their first name. So I agree, anything official stick with formality until you know for sure its safe to do otherwise.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

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I've been dating my gf for 5 years, living with her for 3, and still have no idea if its okay to call her father by his first name.

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Maybe you should get a new cell phone... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I l'ed-ol.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Funny story- My friend is in law school and was applying for judicial clerkships. He called the office to check the status of his application and see if they needed any additional information. THe person answering the phone was some type of clerk.

Him- "Hello, My name is John Doe and I recently applied for the summer internship position and was wondering if you knew when a decision would be available. I also wanted to let you guys know that grades recently came out, if those or any other additional information could be helpful in making your decisions."

Seems fine right? The clerk then went off an a fifteen minute long lecture about him saying "you guys". He declared it an insult to the judge, and told him that he's lucky his application didn't get thrown in the trash right then for such an informal, blah blah.

[/ QUOTE ]

In this case the correct usage would've been "y'all".

[/ QUOTE ]

I saw a co-worker do this in an email, it made me want to puke.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

[ QUOTE ]
Funny story- My friend is in law school and was applying for judicial clerkships. He called the office to check the status of his application and see if they needed any additional information. THe person answering the phone was some type of clerk.

Him- "Hello, My name is John Doe and I recently applied for the summer internship position and was wondering if you knew when a decision would be available. I also wanted to let you guys know that grades recently came out, if those or any other additional information could be helpful in making your decisions."

Seems fine right? The clerk then went off an a fifteen minute long lecture about him saying "you guys". He declared it an insult to the judge, and told him that he's lucky his application didn't get thrown in the trash right then for such an informal, blah blah.

[/ QUOTE ]

the guy who bawled him out was a douchebag, but he was right. calling your elders and others who deserve respect "you guys" is retarded. i was out to dinner the other night and this 20 year old waiter comes up to the table next to me, where a man and woman in their seventies had just been seated - his first words are "can i get you guys something to drink". and i thought to myself this kid is going nowhere in life.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Funny story- My friend is in law school and was applying for judicial clerkships. He called the office to check the status of his application and see if they needed any additional information. THe person answering the phone was some type of clerk.

Him- "Hello, My name is John Doe and I recently applied for the summer internship position and was wondering if you knew when a decision would be available. I also wanted to let you guys know that grades recently came out, if those or any other additional information could be helpful in making your decisions."

Seems fine right? The clerk then went off an a fifteen minute long lecture about him saying "you guys". He declared it an insult to the judge, and told him that he's lucky his application didn't get thrown in the trash right then for such an informal, blah blah.

[/ QUOTE ]

In this case the correct usage would've been "y'all".

[/ QUOTE ]

Where I come from, [censored] yeah it is.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've been dating my gf for 5 years, living with her for 3, and still have no idea if its okay to call her father by his first name.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe you should get a new cell phone... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I l'ed-ol.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't get it [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I've been dating my gf for 5 years, living with her for 3, and still have no idea if its okay to call her father by his first name.

[/ QUOTE ]

Maybe you should get a new cell phone... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

I l'ed-ol.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't get it [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

Mr. McDermott?

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

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I think it depends a bit on your relationship with this person, but in the vast majority of cases it would be OK.

For example, if I was corresponding with a perspective employer, I'd still use "Mr. XXXXX" until I was actually hired.

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This is pretty industry dependent. I have never called someone Mr., and would think a perspective employee addressing me in that manner odd.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

anyone who gets upset when someone uses "you guys" in an informal environment is a tight ass.

however, formally, it might be a good idea to plan what you are going to say before you say it.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

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I don't get it [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

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Me neither. I figure its some play on "call" but damned if I know what.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Funny story- My friend is in law school and was applying for judicial clerkships. He called the office to check the status of his application and see if they needed any additional information. THe person answering the phone was some type of clerk.

[/ QUOTE ]
Lol, he should insult the guy for being a secretary and ask if any real employees of the office were available to chat.

[/ QUOTE ]

OT, but a law clerk is most definitely NOT a secretary. In most federal courts, the judge has "law clerks." Some judges hire permanent law clerks. But many judges hire clerks for only a year or two at a time. These positions (especially those in the Courts of Appeal) are very prestigious positions. For the Court of Appeal, only the best students can get such a position.

There tasks are generally to conduct legal research on the cases before the judges; write memos regarding novel issues of law; and to write the first draft of opinions and judgments.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

In e-mails with people I don't know, and especially if they send first, I tend to just reply with however they sign the e-mail. Generally these are pretty informal though so it's no big deal.

People who I will never, ever call by their first name if I can help it: parents of my friends and girlfriends; professors and teachers (TA's usually get the first name basis though); bosses depending on the job and how far above me they are. Honestly if parents and teachers tell me to call them by the first name, I can't do it. I just feel disrespectful.

Re: Calling someone by their first name
 

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I've been dating my gf for 5 years, living with her for 3, and still have no idea if its okay to call her father by his first name.

[/ QUOTE ]

I successfully dated a girl for a few years without ever having to address her mother by any sort of name because I was told to not address as Mrs. X (she was divorced) or by her first name, but by a ridiculous nickname.