Atheistoxity
 

I am a long time browser and I ran across this poem that I thought I'd post here. Enjoy browsing the forum though.

Atheistoxity

What is the purpose, where is my place,
in this planet that's in orbit, a tiny dot in space.

The gift of feeling, do I abuse?
Is there a wrong? Am I that confused?

Why should I try, were all just gonna die,
my body will decay, my loved ones tears will dry.

Why can't I puff a cig, be gay and wear a wig,
thread my vain with a needle, if that's what I wanna feel.

If I can't see, then I can't believe,
what a man can't prove, I cannot conceive.

Simple are my desires as they are relative to my need,
Carnal is my only pleasure, for it's what I can instantly heed.

Narcissistic mind, the book whoring trend
accepting my faults, the only time I spend.

Is this all an agenda? A brainwashing genius plan,
did I plant a seed that can't stop growing, it's hard just being a man.

Re: Atheistoxity
 

Theistoxity

What is the purpose, where is my place,
God made it all, and I'm gonna be saved.

The gift of thinking, do I abuse?
Is there a truth? Am I that confused?

Why should I try, as long as I believe,
The God up in heaven, will give me reprieve.

I can't puff a cig, be gay and wear a wig,
God makes that bad, I'll get put in the brig!

If I can't see, then I believe even more,
what a man can't prove, is proven for sure!

Simple are my beliefs as they relate to my need,
Escape is my only pleasure, for it's all I can heed.

Narcissistic mind, the Jesus whoring trend
Me and my kind go there, the place where I want to end.

Is this all an agenda? A brainwashing genius plan,
What if there was no God? It's hard being just a man.

So give me the Jesus wafers, I'm a good little cookie
I'll swallow them whole, and refrain from the nookie.

Re: Atheistoxity
 

[ QUOTE ]
I am a long time browser and I ran across this poem that I thought I'd post here. Enjoy browsing the forum though.

Atheistoxity

What is the purpose, where is my place,
in this planet that's in orbit, a tiny dot in space.

The gift of feeling, do I abuse?
Is there a wrong? Am I that confused?

Why should I try, were all just gonna die,
my body will decay, my loved ones tears will dry.


Why can't I puff a cig, be gay and wear a wig,
thread my vain with a needle, if that's what I wanna feel.

If I can't see, then I can't believe,
what a man can't prove, I cannot conceive.

Simple are my desires as they are relative to my need,
Carnal is my only pleasure, for it's what I can instantly heed.

Narcissistic mind, the book whoring trend
accepting my faults, the only time I spend.

Is this all an agenda? A brainwashing genius plan,
did I plant a seed that can't stop growing, it's hard just being a man.

[/ QUOTE ]

That change in the rhyme structure is irritating to me. I'm glad Phil's version fixes it.

Re: Atheistoxity
 

[ QUOTE ]
So give me the Jesus wafers, I'm a good little cookie
I'll swallow them whole, and refrain from the nookie.

[/ QUOTE ]

Good work, sir. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Re: Atheistoxity
 

Phil,

A+

Re: Atheistoxity
 

Must of been a chore to twist a couple words! But I can see how u would feel threatened to leave as is.....

Re: Atheistoxity
 

[ QUOTE ]
Must of been a chore to twist a couple words! But I can see how u would feel threatened to leave as is.....



[/ QUOTE ]

What about your poem, Wiiiiman, do you find threatening to Atheists? At first I thought it was extolling the virtues of your typical atheist, until I saw the title that had the word toxic in it. But it indicates that atheists are non- judgmental about gays and people who wear wigs, and they are book whores ( whatever that means, but I assume that they like to read ).

I’ve heard Phil say that he thinks homosexuality is a mental disease, which is actually ok. People don’t generally bash in peoples' heads because they have an unfortunate disease. But if you choose to be a sinner, well then. . .

Re: Atheistoxity
 

[ QUOTE ]
Must of been a chore to twist a couple words! But I can see how u would feel threatened to leave as is.....

[/ QUOTE ]
Twisting words is not my game
I was looking to be fresh.
The final stanza I really liked
I thought it would impress!

Shakespeare said that poetry
is music made from words
But rhyming poems seem to me
Like squeezing out some ...

But threatened I am not
And discussion I'll oblige
But you need to write in prose
And bring an open mind...

Welcome to SMP.

Re: Atheistoxity
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Must of been a chore to twist a couple words! But I can see how u would feel threatened to leave as is.....

[/ QUOTE ]
Twisting words is not my game
I was looking to be fresh.
The final stanza I really liked
I thought it would impress!

Shakespeare said that poetry
is music made from words
But rhyming poems seem to me
Like squeezing out some ...

But threatened I am not
And discussion I'll oblige
But you need to write in prose
And bring an open mind...

Welcome to SMP.

[/ QUOTE ]

[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

Re: Atheistoxity
 

Wiiiiiiman has been pwned
but if only this he'd knowned,
he'd toss god on a dung heap
and dare take the atheist mind-leap.

(apologies to Phil who really did do a fine job)

Re: Atheistoxity
 

[ QUOTE ]
Wiiiiiiman has been pwned
but if only this he'd knowned,
he'd toss god on a dung heap
and dare take the atheist mind-leap.

(apologies to Phil who really did do a fine job)



[/ QUOTE ]

Phil has a unique talent. His writing style is pure poetry even when he's writing prose. I realize this obsequiousness is off post, but then I think Mr. Man has retreated.

Re: Atheistoxity
 

In Rushmore's immortal words...Phil, this is so well done you seem to me to be the smartest and best person in the world.

All-in a gay
 

[ QUOTE ]


Why can't I puff a cig, be gay and wear a wig,
thread my vain with a needle, if that's what I wanna feel.

[/ QUOTE ]Lou Reed finds Jesus, changes the lyrics of Heroin and does it as singalong.

There's a nightmare for ya.

Re: All-in a gay
 

Um, formal poetry has a thing called meter. Almost all of the above are godawful.

For instance:

Why should I try, were all just gonna die,
' - - ' - ' - - - '
my body will decay, my loved ones tears will dry.
- ' - ' - ' - ' (-) ' - '

The second is a passable (though not especially fluent) line of iambic hexameter, while the first line is a complete shambles. Nor is it matched by much if any hexameter in the rest of the poem. Basically, this is a very poor poet mangling syntax to produce cheap rhymes, with no sense of the #1 feature of poetic competence, metrical structure.

Phil: sorry dude, but your version is hardly better. At least you don't have the hubris of the original "poet" and fans of his belief system, to think the importance of the belief justifies spreading such literary junk.

Re: Atheistoxity
 

[ QUOTE ]
Twisting words is not my game
I was looking to be fresh.
The final stanza I really liked
I thought it would impress!

Shakespeare said that poetry
is music made from words
But rhyming poems seem to me
Like squeezing out some ...

But threatened I am not
And discussion I'll oblige
But you need to write in prose
And bring an open mind...


[/ QUOTE ]

lol awesome

Re: Atheistoxity
 

Phil is on point..awesome.

OP: the poem speaks the truth..I feel empty without unicorns [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: All-in a gay
 

[ QUOTE ]
Um, formal poetry has a thing called meter. Almost all of the above are godawful.

For instance:

Why should I try, were all just gonna die,
' - - ' - ' - - - '
my body will decay, my loved ones tears will dry.
- ' - ' - ' - ' (-) ' - '

The second is a passable (though not especially fluent) line of iambic hexameter, while the first line is a complete shambles. Nor is it matched by much if any hexameter in the rest of the poem. Basically, this is a very poor poet mangling syntax to produce cheap rhymes, with no sense of the #1 feature of poetic competence, metrical structure.

Phil: sorry dude, but your version is hardly better. At least you don't have the hubris of the original "poet" and fans of his belief system, to think the importance of the belief justifies spreading such literary junk.

[/ QUOTE ]
Your commentary
- ' - - -
enlightens like a match struck
- - - - - ' -
in a sunlit glade
' - ' - '

Best regards,
Jogger

Re: All-in a gay
 

Me like, Phil, although you do have to give Limp Bizkit credit for the original cookie-nookie rhyme.

Re: All-in a gay
 

[ QUOTE ]
Um, formal poetry has a thing called meter. Almost all of the above are godawful.

For instance:

Why should I try, were all just gonna die,
' - - ' - ' - - - '
my body will decay, my loved ones tears will dry.
- ' - ' - ' - ' (-) ' - '

The second is a passable (though not especially fluent) line of iambic hexameter, while the first line is a complete shambles. Nor is it matched by much if any hexameter in the rest of the poem. Basically, this is a very poor poet mangling syntax to produce cheap rhymes, with no sense of the #1 feature of poetic competence, metrical structure.

Phil: sorry dude, but your version is hardly better. At least you don't have the hubris of the original "poet" and fans of his belief system, to think the importance of the belief justifies spreading such literary junk.

[/ QUOTE ]

Are you accusing him of writing godderel?