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Inspired by Toss:My Las Vegas TR-WSOP last year

First of all, I would like to state that Toss's trip report was the nuts; and because of that I was inspired to write about my last trip to Vegas. A slight preview: Poker + Strippers. That is it really. This is long, but I feel like it will make you laugh.

Rewind to June 29, 2006: Fresh off of winning 16k in a stars 162 and dominating the PP sngs I Miami32 and Assani Fisher head off to Vegas to demolish the WSOP. Yeah that is right people, demolish.

The travel to Vegas wasn't that bad as we flew via US airways. That says a lot considering I'm incredibly terrified of the air voyage that is flying. In fact this trip only had TWO incidents. One where I politely told the nice lady to TURN OFF HER [censored] IPOD, when they say no electronic equipment should be on and second when I asked the nice man to my left to please keep his window closed at all times while I'm in the middle seat. What can I say folks, I know the odds of death via flight are like 18 million to 1, but it scares the [censored] out of me.

We arrive around 1 PM, get are luggage, rent are car, make the standard wow it's [censored] hot out here comments, and move along. One Rio stop later to reserve Assani's spot in event 1 and we are at our house in Green Valley. Now before we go any further, let me state that I love Green Valley. It is in my opinion the best place to live in LV. It's far enough away from the strip yet only 10 minutes away. If that makes any sense. I feel like most people who have spent enough time in Vegas know what I mean. Our house is nice. It's a 3 Br mofo for only about 2k for the month and a half we were staying at that particular residence. It has a dirty pool and crappy pool table. The crappy pool table btw does not stop the self-proclaimed best pool player in the world Assani Fisher from playing non-stop. The [censored] table leaned so much to the right you thought the [censored] was gonna fall over.

After getting settled in, we headed off to the Bellagio for a little of that how you call it, Cadillac of poker, de no limit? We plunked out Internet poker playing asses in the first 2/5 NL game they could seat us in. Assani wanted to play higher, but it had been so long since I had really played live to be honest I was a little nervous. In fact I was so nervous that I started drinking Coronas from that point on whenever I played. I rarely drink btw which made it so amazing. I drank them to "relax" me. I don't really remember any hands as of note, but I do remember playing with Sam Grizzle. Can someone please tell me why this man played in just about every WSOP event, yet when I busted him in this 2/5 game he headed his old fat ass straight to the race and sports book and sat there? Please explain thanks. So after a faint bit of nervousness, I booked a 1k win and I was happy. Woot Woot!http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...Picture010.jpg

Fast forward to the next day. I drop Assani off to dominate the WSOP at 11??? And promptly pick him up two hours later. While he was busy showing off his trusty Internet poker skills, I decided that we should go to the strip club later on that night. Seriously, I made teh decision, and no one, and I mean no one, was going to stop me or us from going. After picking up Assani from the Rio, I tell him my decision and he says ok, but first lets play a little no limit. So after showering and changing we head off to the Wynn.

I like the Wynn. It's perty. We head to the poker room and I sign up for the 2/5 Cadillac, and Assani signs up for the newer upgraded Cadillac 10/20. Assani gets a seat and a little bit later I get my seat as well. Now oddly, even though it's been about half a year since this trip, I remember this session very well. After downing a couple coronas and running pretty well, I noticed the man next to me really didn't like me. Now this struck me as odd, because normally I'm a very quiet poker player. I feel like this is standard for most Internet guys when they can't hide behind their monitor. At least it certainly is for me. Anywho, this man wanted to stack me. He really did. As far as I could tell he just wanted to punish me for no reason what so ever. He had this scowl on his face like I ran over his dog or something. So then this hand came down. It goes like this.... I have the JJ in the SB, folded to angry man on button who limps, I raise, BB folds, angry man calls. I don't know if it was the liquor, or the fact that it was midnight and I wanted to get a strip club fast (no one told me they are open 24 hours in Vegas), but I announced all in blind. So I did, and he called, and I was sad, but he mucked when I flipped over JJ on the river. WOOT. Up another 1k. The angry man now looks pissed. Time to go. So I walk over to the high limit area and notice my gambling partner Assani heads up against this Asian man with blue hair. The man with blue hair was rich. He had a sick diamond watch you only see on rap videos with Diddy, and bricks of cash on the table, which I’m pretty sure, were the size of my bankroll. Color me impressed. The blue hared Asian man at the Wynn strongly suggested we go to the Spearmint Rhino. We decided that when it came to strip clubs, how could you not trust an Asian man with blue hair, so we headed to Spearmint Rhino. Oddly, we did not know how to get there, so instead of being smart and asking the valet how to get there, I decided to call 411 and ask for their number. Talk about the funniest 411 convo I've ever had.

Before we go any further, I must explain to you my past with strip clubs. I have lived in MD and Vegas both off an on for the majority of my 20s. While in Vegas, I never not once went to a strip club. While in Maryland oddly, I've been to a couple. I actually took home a stripper once from the club night shift in Bmore while in college yet, I pussied out and only made out with her (biggest beat of all time). Since that time though, it has always been a huge fantasy of mine to nail a stripper or date one for that matter.

So we arrive at Rhino. I've got about 1k I'm willing to drop here. Granted I don't want to spend more then 2 to 3 hundred or so, but if naked titties say I must, then naked titties say I must. Now, once again before I go any further let me tell one and all how much of a fan of the Spearmint Rhino I am. Never in my entire life have I seen so many hot women in one place. Now I know most on this board are not fans of the fake boobies, well I sir, am. In fact, I'm a big fan. So maybe this place may not be for you. But if you can indeed get past that, I can't think of a better strip club to go to. This place was absurd. So Assani and I go get two beers, which weren’t too over priced IIRC and plop our Internet poker playing asses down at the stage. Apparently we are pretty good at the sitting part.

Back to the stage. I'm a fan it to say the least. It's cheap, you get to sample the goods, and the ladies don't expect much. When they do find a big spender, I feel as though they are happy about it. Granted, I’ve got a very small sample size. So an hour goes by and we take in the splendor that is the Rhino. Now, I can't speak for Assani, but I was having the time of my life. A dance later from some random girl I couldn’t say no too, I see her. There she is. The girl I will blow all my money on. Chandiss. This woman can spin on her head. It's amazing. No kidding, she was on stage, spinning on her head. http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h2...0/CHANDISS.jpg

This is the end of part one. This story is long, and it will prolly be like a 10 part series, so if people seem to like it, let me know. Otherwise I will abort mission at some point. Granted, I hope everyone likes my TR.