Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

Ok... fun times... just met with a judge this morning to schedule my court date before being released...

here's the story... Been with this girl for six months... she is way hotter than I usually pull... I told her I would quit smoking weed for her... I show up to her house lit up like a x-mas tree, and she asked me if i was stoned... "of course not baby"... feeling bad, I call her an hour after I left and confess and apologize... She becomes extremely pissed calls me an a-hole and hangs up...

I was supposed to go over her house for a dinner party that night... I call her several times to see if we are still on, but she doesn't pick up at all...

I say whatever and make plans with my buddies... Around 8:30 (I was supposed to meet my girl for dinner at 8:00) I receive a call from my girl saying we are still on... By this time I'm not going to flake on my friends (and i'm already buzzed and not able to drive) and say I'll meet her out with my friends ( she was going out with her friends)... She hangs up...

I continue drinking with my buddies, she calls me at 10:00 and tells me not to bother meeting up with her, she ran into her old boyfriend and was having fun [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

i proceed to order several rounds of Jack Daniels shots... Upon leaving the bar (around 1:00) I'm completely hammered... I call her phone and a guy picks up...

I immediately shove my fist through the window of a flower shop next to the bar... Gushing blood, my buddies try and get me into their car... I say FU all, and begin to walk down the street screaming C--- bombs as I went...

It took about 20 seconds for the cops to come get me... Instead of thinking of something genius like I'm really drunk and I accidentally fell through the window (I could probably sue them if i were shady) I told them exactly what happened... I'm screaming hysterically, and before I let the ambulance take me away, I insist I call the C--- one more time ( the police shockingly comply not wanting to touch my blood soaked clothes etc...), covering my new $300 phone in blood... I'm taken to the local hospital where the cops proceed to imitate me going crazy while I'm getting stitched up... I ask to be taken to the bathroom after getting stitched up, and couldn't go... another man unzipping me while I was handcuffed was not cool...

I pissed myself on the way to San Jose County, where I was being charged with felony vadalism... I called the girl to talk to her the next morning, and her ex boyfriend had "slept on the couch" aka taxed and waxed her... She then DUMPED ME because she didn't like to date convict...

Oh, and I was busted out of a $200 FT sit n'go the first hand this morning... My aces vs. opponents JJ all in pre flop...

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

Consider suicide in order to help the human race?

If that isnt allowed under current rules, by all means make it more offensive against OP. Thanks mods.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

All because you smoked pot. LOL

I give this a 6.. only because of urination on self, and gf getting tagged by ex.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

Whenever I hear hot and seemingly normal girls bitch about how they can't find a good guy, all guys are a-holes, guys are so bad, blah blah meowchow, I inevitably discover that they have a fancy for men like the OP.

Who is the bigger moran? OP or the girls that like OP?

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

Don't date girls who want you to stop getting high.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

The real beat is that you're an idiot. No amount of luck is going to change that. Good luck with life.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

I never understood the thinking behind getting pissed off cus ur gf is on on another doodz jock and then putting your fist through an inanimate object.

Back in my college dayz (yes we had to dodge dinosaurs across campus), my roomate got pissed cus he spotted his current girl with another dood. He proceeded to get dungk and fist a window. I asked him then, and I'll ask you now, "If your going to get done by the coppers anywayz for fisting something, why not just put your fist thru the dude instead of an innocent plate of glass?"

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
I never understood the thinking behind getting pissed off cus ur gf is on on another doodz jock and then putting your fist through an inanimate object.

Back in my college dayz (yes we had to dodge dinosaurs across campus), my roomate got pissed cus he spotted his current girl with another dood. He proceeded to get dungk and fist a window. I asked him then, and I'll ask you now, "If your going to get done by the coppers anywayz for fisting something, why not just put your fist thru the dude instead of an innocent plate of glass?"

[/ QUOTE ]

QFT

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

eminem style, pistol whip that [censored]

Also.

Call her a bitch.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Also.

Call her a bitch.

[/ QUOTE ]
They love this part

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

I may have found a 2+2er who sucks at life than I do.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
I may have found a 2+2er who sucks at life than I do.

[/ QUOTE ]

What's so bad about it?

Aside from the self pissing and punching a window instead of ex

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

I'm gonna buck the trend and say that I liked the original post itself...only because the OP got completely owned in it, by all parties. Man the OP is quite obviously a tool however

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

nearest object/drunken stupidity...

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
All because you smoked pot. LOL

I give this a 6.. only because of urination on self, and gf getting tagged by ex.

[/ QUOTE ]

jeez this would make a great anti-marijuana commercial

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

OP What part of CA do you live in?

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

San Jose, CA jail

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
Man the OP is quite obviously a tool however

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't get it, besides punching a glass window, peeing on myself, and telling the truth to my girlfriend what did i do wrong?

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I may have found a 2+2er who sucks at life than I do.

[/ QUOTE ]

What's so bad about it?

Aside from the self pissing and....oh nm

[/ QUOTE ]
FYP

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

1. Not going to meet her.
2. Giving a crap
3. Not punching her/dude
4. No hookers
5. Telling the truth
6. LOL DONKAMENTS
7. Set=garunteed nuts
9. For my lost god
10. EVERYTHINGEVERYTHINGEVREYTHINGEVERYTHING!!!

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
1. Not going to meet her.
2. Giving a crap
3. Not punching her/dude
4. No hookers
5. Telling the truth
6. LOL DONKAMENTS
7. Set=garunteed nuts
9. For my lost god
10. EVERYTHINGEVERYTHINGEVREYTHINGEVERYTHING!!!

[/ QUOTE ]
11. ??????
12. Profit

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Man the OP is quite obviously a tool however

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't get it, besides punching a glass window, peeing on myself, and telling the truth to my girlfriend what did i do wrong?

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, there's one thing you didn't do, and that's end a single sentence with a lone period.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

I'll still give it a B-. Comeonguys pissing self = above average behavior.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

OP seems like a normal guy to me (got drunk and angry about a girl situation and did something stupid)? just try being a bit more clever while drunk (ie not telling the cops the truth) and dont tell the truth next time about being stoned and its all good to go.

any chick that plays games, tells u not to do things u used to do or hangs up on u regularly or mentions ex boyfriends trying to make u jealous arent worth the time anyways so u really didnt lose a whole lot im guessing and something like this would have happened eventually no matter what u did (shed find the first excuse to get pissed and find a new guy and ditch ur ass).

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
here's the story... Been with this girl for six months... she is way hotter than I usually pull... I told her I would quit smoking weed for her... I show up to her house lit up like a x-mas tree, and she asked me if i was stoned... "of course not baby"...

[/ QUOTE ]

The ladies love it when you lie to them.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
1. Not going to meet her.
2. Giving a crap
3. Not punching her/dude
4. No hookers
5. Telling the truth
6. LOL DONKAMENTS
7. Set=garunteed nuts
9. For my lost god
10. EVERYTHINGEVERYTHINGEVREYTHINGEVERYTHING!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

8. I hope OP's woman punchin' fist heals with no lasting injury or trauma

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

all women are whores, except your mom and grandma...and they WERE

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

Time to move down in hotness.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
all women are whores, except your mom and grandma...and they WERE

[/ QUOTE ]
I wouldn't surprised if this guy's still are, sounds like a bloodline problem

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
all women are whores, except your mom and grandma...and they WERE

[/ QUOTE ]

It took me one wife, and one somebody elses wife, to figure this out.

Now I just have to figure out what to do with this information.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

Damn OP that sucks!

But come on, why on earth didn't you show up at her place and destroy her and her EX? That is what a pro does in this situation. Atleast if your gonna go to jail get something out of it....

BTW:
here is a lesson about women. Never change for them, it gets you nowhere. You lose their respect and you get nothing. Never tell a woman the truth when there is nothing to be gained. Instead lie, she will respect you for lieing and eventually believe you if you never give in (win-win).

I would like to remind you that her ex-boyfriend DID lay it down (so you must NOT take her back, ever. do not let her weasel back in).


Sadly, I have dated a girl like this. Let this be a lesson to all the kiddies [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img].

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
All because you smoked pot.

[/ QUOTE ]

You're all wrong here. It's all because you made stupid promises you didn't intend on keeping, and bitches obviously take this [censored] seriously. She prolly gave him anal just to piss you off more for [censored] up. Women always find ways to get back and put you on life tilt - the self-destruction to follow is in our nature [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

post pics of ex obv

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
(I could probably sue them if i were shady)

[/ QUOTE ]

Please elaborate, I very much need to hear your theory of the case.

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

[ QUOTE ]
But come on, why on earth didn't you show up at her place and destroy her and her EX? That is what a pro does in this situation.

[/ QUOTE ]

actually, a pro would've found a female at the bar, got her liquored up, and woke up next her...no bleeding, no arrest photos, nice and clean..

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

Hey OP, I'm your girl's ex-boyfriend. Don't worry, I slept on the couch last night.






If by 'sleeping on the couch' you mean 'ass [censored], mouth [censored], vaginer [censored], and tittie [censored].'

Re: Beat like a mofo... Hospital/Jail/Dumped and cheated on...
 

felony vandalism is an overcharge. You should have been charged with criminal mischief. At any rate, you'll probably be able to plead guilty to disorderly conduct, which isn't even a misdemeanor, it's a violation, and drops off your record in a year, at least in new york state.

Guess who's gotten drunk and broken things before? holla.