Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

My brother has been acting real crazy for about the past two years. He is almost 30 and owns his own business (barely scraping by) and is always wanting to tell all of our family how he's gonna do so well and make all this money and provide us all of these things. (background: my family is middle middle class and lives in a small town, they don't care about money and if they had $10 million they wouldn't even buy a new car) These stories were only mildly annoying the first few times when I would hear them over the holidays.

I saw him the other day and it's just ridiculuous, he will not shut up about this and that and how he's gonna make all this money while we were at a pub. I tell him that's nice but it really doesn't matter. He starts berating me for being an employee (engineer) and not employer and I'm like ok whatever. He tips the waitress $20 on a $20 tab that included 3 beers and a burger and it was just me and him. I also tipped $5 on my $20 because of OOT instilled tipping habits. Anyway, when we go back to my place (he was gonna stay and leave in the morning) he ends up blowing up at me for some reason I forget and leaves to go back home.

My brother lives in the same town as my parents which is ~200miles away from me. I've been talking with my parents and they are very concerned. Their concern and now me putting together the pieces of the puzzle has me concerned. My parents have constantly told me about how often he would talk about his big ideas and how he had started fighting with my dad a lot(neither drink alcohol). He's always got these big ideas and all this energy about nothing and no one wants to hear about it. He's easily irritated when he feels you aren't listening to him and agreeing with him. I never thought about it much because I only see him about twice a year.

My mother told me tonight that he has cried in front of them two times in the past month and when she has asked what's wrong he says it is because he is so happy. In reality, he has no real reason to be happy enough to cry about it other than the fact he was born in the US, he is living off my parents rent free and has no assets sans some machinerey worth <$10k.

I've convinced my mom to get her and my dad to make a list of these things and to seek a doctor. My mom wants to do this but is worried about it with them being small town and all. I tell them that getting someone who needs help some help is the greater good. I don't know what they are going to do.

I need advice on what may be happening here. I'm starting to get very concerned for my brothers well being and my families reputation due to how he may be interacting with local banks and businessmen.

Thank you.

cliffs: Brother has big ideas that don't make sense and talks about them repeatedly and is easily irritable and overexcited.

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

maybe he is also upset at himself for not being able to be "super rich" (i wonder what caused it in the first place?)

wouldn't you be upset if you lived with your parents at age 30?

P.S. Does he have a girlfriend?

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

Please understand I am in no way qualified, but you might wanna look up bipolar disorder. It might at least put you in the right direction. Good luck man. You obviously care about your bro and it must be hard to watch him.

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

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maybe he is also upset at himself for not being able to be "super rich" (i wonder what caused it in the first place?)

wouldn't you be upset if you lived with your parents at age 30?

P.S. Does he have a girlfriend?

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He had a steady job for 5 years before going out on his own for the past ~3. His last girlfriend was ~1 year ago. He lives there by choice, they would prefer he get an apartment or something.

All of his business ideas are what bother us, he thinks all that glamour really matters and is always wanting to tell anyone who will listen how he will revolutionize some industry with some thing that doesn't make sense. He has no college degree and I have a master's, I only mention that to give basis for my reasoning that all his ideas are idiotic at best.

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

Sounds like he is having some grandiose delusions.

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

keywords "bipolar disorder" and "delusions of grandeur"

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

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Sounds like he is having some grandiose delusions.

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thats what i was thinking too, but i wasnted to see where he was on the social side.
i also want to really know why he wants to be super rich and give back to his parents.
did your parents talk about not having enough cash when you guys were growing up?

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

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i also want to really know why he wants to be super rich and give back to his parents.
did your parents talk about not having enough cash when you guys were growing up?

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As far as I am aware of, my parents had no problems financially while we were growing up. We had a decent sized house and went to a private school.

He may feel some guilt because our parents/grandparents have always been very generous to us and he has no way to thank them outside of saying the words, which is all they care to hear anyway.

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

he sounds manic / sounds like a classic bipolar presentation / you should get him help before he starts destroying his and your family's life, seriously. it's very common, very manageable, and definitely sounds like it's early enough that it has not caused any major problems, yet.

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

its sounds like classic bipolar...do u have any history of it in your family.

Take him to a Dr./psych

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

I was pretty sure about the bipolar thing, but didn't want to mention it in order to not influence replies. I've also been researching schizophrenia because of the crying.

I guess what I'm really asking here is how to best get him to the help. My parents mentioned talking to someone and he blew up at them. He has told them he will not talk to them for a month now but will probably stop by tomorrow and act as if nothing has happened.

I asked my mom about mental disorders in our family and she said she was depressed for a little while but nothing else from any other members. My great-grandma is almost 100 and still gets around w/o assistance.

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

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Take him to a Dr./psych

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getting him there is the problem, my mom mentioned committing him but I told her to make a list of everything and talk to a doctor to see what we can do, it's gonna be tough

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

My brother is schizophrenic so I have plenty of experience with getting mental health care for the unwilling. This does sound like classic bipolar disorder with just a couple of exceptions. The first is that it is extremely common for people with bipolar disorder to abuse alcohol as a way of self-medicating. The second is the lack of mention of major depressive periods.

You can't just committ him. Well, actually you can in some cases, but it doesn't do much. In most states if he is judged not to be an immediate threat to himself or others they can only hold him for 72 hours and then they have to let him go. This isn't something that gets better on its own, so good luck to you.

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

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has no assets sans some machinerey worth <$10k.

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Does he own a lathe?

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

If I were 30 and had been living with my parents all my life then I'd go pretty cuckoo too.

Sounds like bipolar/IANAD/Ask a shrink.

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

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My brother is schizophrenic so I have plenty of experience with getting mental health care for the unwilling. This does sound like classic bipolar disorder with just a couple of exceptions. The first is that it is extremely common for people with bipolar disorder to abuse alcohol as a way of self-medicating. The second is the lack of mention of major depressive periods.

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These are probably present but I don't know about them.


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You can't just committ him. Well, actually you can in some cases, but it doesn't do much. In most states if he is judged not to be an immediate threat to himself or others they can only hold him for 72 hours and then they have to let him go. This isn't something that gets better on its own, so good luck to you.

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Yeah i told my mom committing him wouldn't be a good idea and she quickly agreed.

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

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has no assets sans some machinerey worth <$10k.

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Does he own a lathe?

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no...lol i was waiting for that

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

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Take him to a Dr./psych

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getting him there is the problem, my mom mentioned committing him but I told her to make a list of everything and talk to a doctor to see what we can do, it's gonna be tough

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Have your parents make him go in exchange for living rent free.

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

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Have your parents make him go in exchange for living rent free.

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that's a good idea

Re: Brother may have a mental problem...please assist
 

does he blow his money on spending sprees?