Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

Ok, I'll try and keep this short. I just bought a condo and in my first year of ownership my budget is very tight because I won't see my tax break until over a year from now, so I have little disposable income. One of my best friends who I've known for ~10 years is getting married in Cabo in order to demonstrate how much money he has. It will cost me ~$1200 all inclusive to spend a 3 day weekend there. There will be few (none that I know of for sure)single girls and it will mostly be a our married friends. In essence I will be more or less a joker to keep everyone entertained with my wild antics and stories of single life.

In order to go, I will have to give up going on a 7-day ski trip or beach trip or any other vacation that I would choose to go on myself for the year.

Personally, I think it's retarded to go to Mexico to get married because it transfers a lot of the cost of a wedding directly onto your friends. Having said that, I would have no problem going if I wasn't in the first year of my mortgage.

How should I handle this?

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

"listen, honestly, i'd love to go, but my funds are really tight and i can't afford to drop a grand right now. here's a wedding gift. have fun."

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

IMO you have to go if indeed it is one of your "best friends". Use a credit card or something and make it happen.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

Go.

) He's one of your best friends.

2) Hopefully he will only get married once.

3) There will be other single women in Cabo not involved in your friends wedding.

4)It will be a good vacation with friends.

5) You're far more likely to regret not going than going.

disclaimer: make sure not all of your time will be monopolized with wedding related activities.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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Go.

) He's one of your best friends.

2) Hopefully he will only get married once.

3) There will be other single women in Cabo not involved in your friends wedding.

4)It will be a good vacation with friends.

5) You're far more likely to regret not going than going.

disclaimer: make sure not all of your time will be monopolized with wedding related activities.

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^^ Agreed.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

Your situation sucks, but you got to go.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

He said the ceremony will only be like 30 minutes so no problems there. The fact that this "vacation" will only be 2 or 3 nights and will involve nothing more than nightclubs and alcohol is the major deal breaker. I won't have the extra money to go SCUBA diving, gambling (is there gambling there?) etc. If there is gambling, that could change things as I could likely grind out the trip cost.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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In order to go, I will have to give up going on a 7-day ski trip or beach trip or any other vacation that I would choose to go on myself for the year.


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So just spend a few extra days in Cabo around the wedding date (or have a shorter vacation).

If you had no budget for a vacation, there might be a question here. As it is, why are you even thinking twice about this?

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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If there is gambling, that could change things as I could likely grind out the trip cost.

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Why not do this beforehand?

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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If you had no budget for a vacation, there might be a question here. As it is, why are you even thinking twice about this?

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1. I don't really have a vacation budget unless no emergencies come up during the year. In which case I would be able to treat myself to a vacation at the end of the year. As it is, I would definitely be going in to debt to go to this wedding in the first part of next year.

2. Because I never hang out with him ( ~1 time every 3 months) anymore because my married friends have created their exclusive marriage club.

3. I could care less about going to a resort in Cabo and only being able to spend 2 nights there.

4. It will ruin plans to spend any extra money on myself, which is the same motive he had for having the wedding in Cabo, it is cheaper for them but way more $$$ for the guests.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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If there is gambling, that could change things as I could likely grind out the trip cost.

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Why not do this beforehand?

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would like to but I live in Atlanta

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

Sounds to me like the real issue is more about you sacrificing a trip of your own next year. Sorta of selfish if you ask me. Are you in the wedding at all? You made it sound like he was a good friend you've known for 10 years, then you say you hardly hang out.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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If there is gambling, that could change things as I could likely grind out the trip cost.

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Why not do this beforehand?

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would like to but I live in Atlanta

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I have heard a rumor that there are ways to gamble without going to a casino. Don't quote me on that though.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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1. I don't really have a vacation budget unless no emergencies come up during the year. In which case I would be able to treat myself to a vacation at the end of the year. As it is, I would definitely be going in to debt to go to this wedding in the first part of next year.

2. Because I never hang out with him ( ~1 time every 3 months) anymore because my married friends have created their exclusive marriage club.

3. I could care less about going to a resort in Cabo and only being able to spend 2 nights there.

4. It will ruin plans to spend any extra money on myself, which is the same motive he had for having the wedding in Cabo, it is cheaper for them but way more $$$ for the guests.

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You clearly don't want to go, so... don't go. [img]/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img]

Call him and tell him that you can't go due to your current financial situation. It's simple and it's the truth.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

He can't be that good of a friend if he expects you to use up your only vacation and spend money you can barely afford to come watch him get married. Definitely don't go; be straight up with him about the reason.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

Anyone that plans a wedding outside of the country should pay for the travel expenses of anyone they're expecting to show up. If your friend expects more than this, he's a selfish douche.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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Anyone that plans a wedding outside of the country should pay for the travel expenses of anyone they're expecting to show up. If your friend expects more than this, he's a selfish douche.

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I agree with this. I got married in san juan puerto rico while all of our friends/family lives in Chicago. I would have had no issues if one of my best friends didn't show up. That's one fo the sacrafices of the destination weddings.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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If there is gambling, that could change things as I could likely grind out the trip cost.

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Why not do this beforehand?

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would like to but I live in Atlanta

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I have heard a rumor that there are ways to gamble without going to a casino. Don't quote me on that though.

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Like what? I used to play poker online but my tube got clogged with all the horse racing so now the cards cant make it through.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

if any of the days fall between friday sundown and saturday sundown, then the answer is simple. take a page from walter's book:

SHOMER SHABBOS! i dont drive a car, i dont turn on the oven, and i sure as [censored] DO NOT [censored] GO TO WEDDINGS IN CABO!!!

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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Sounds to me like the real issue is more about you sacrificing a trip of your own next year. Sorta of selfish if you ask me. Are you in the wedding at all? You made it sound like he was a good friend you've known for 10 years, then you say you hardly hang out.

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Yes you're right I'm probably being a little selfish, but my vacation is no guarantee because I may need to replace a clutch or some other random expensive crap could happen during the year.

I'm not in the wedding, but it is going to be a short ceremony with only family in it.

We hardly hang out because he has lived with his fiancee for over five years and he's whipped pretty good. Before that we used to party a lot in HS and college.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

If they have a "marriage club" like you say, I wouldnt go, I completely understand what you are saying. I dont think you have to go, and I probably wouldnt want to either.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

What kind of awful friend has a wedding in Mexico.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

Did they have a 'save the date' warning? Most people who have weddings away from home let people know atleast a year in advance so they can plan ahead. If not, that's just bloody rude.

Tell him you can't attend, but consider offering your services to help them throw a reception/party when they get home. Most sane people who get married away from home do that for the poor buggers who can't attend.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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Sounds to me like the real issue is more about you sacrificing a trip of your own next year. Sorta of selfish if you ask me. Are you in the wedding at all? You made it sound like he was a good friend you've known for 10 years, then you say you hardly hang out.

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Yes you're right I'm probably being a little selfish, but my vacation is no guarantee because I may need to replace a clutch or some other random expensive crap could happen during the year.

I'm not in the wedding, but it is going to be a short ceremony with only family in it.

We hardly hang out because he has lived with his fiancee for over five years and he's whipped pretty good. Before that we used to party a lot in HS and college.

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Don't go. It sounded like you were much closer than this. I have plenty of college buddies I chill with every once in a while. If they had a wedding in a foreign country and I couldn't afford the trip, I wouldn't feel bad about missing it.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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"listen, honestly, i'd love to go, but my funds are really tight and i can't afford to drop a grand right now. here's a wedding gift. have fun."

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This doesn't work so well in light of the fact that he's already said he plans a week-long ski or beach trip. If he ditches the wedding, then Buddy finds out about the ski trip, Buddy may be justified in having some questions about how their friendship has been prioritized. A week-long beach trip would probably be even worse, since that is essentially what he would be bailing on given that Buddy's wedding is in Cabo.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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Did they have a 'save the date' warning? Most people who have weddings away from home let people know atleast a year in advance so they can plan ahead. If not, that's just bloody rude.

Tell him you can't attend, but consider offering your services to help them throw a reception/party when they get home. Most sane people who get married away from home do that for the poor buggers who can't attend.

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I knew almost 6 months in advance. I think I'm gonna tell him I can't afford. The reception party sounds like a good idea.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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I knew almost 6 months in advance. I think I'm gonna tell him I can't afford. The reception party sounds like a good idea.

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What will you say when he offers to pay for you trip? That will be awkward, and it will happen... because $1200 is nothing and if he is a good friend he won't want to hear the "I don't want to miss my ski trip" excuse.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

Don't go.

Re: Do I have to attend my friends wedding in Cabo?
 

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What will you say when he offers to pay for you trip? That will be awkward, and it will happen... because $1200 is nothing and if he is a good friend he won't want to hear the "I don't want to miss my ski trip" excuse.

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He'll understand. I'm sure he planned on this happening to a few of us when going through with decision to get married in [censored] Cabo. He says it's cheaper than getting married here. Also, he's already broke himself, or so he claims, from all the deposits and paying for the trip.