penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

I am having trouble typing, im really freaked out and have a good idea what if feels like to experience shock. Long story short, I wen to make myself dinner, rumaging in the freezer i cam acros what I thought was polish sausege in the very back. I got it out and it became clear this was not polish sausage, the more I looked at it and tried to figure out what the hell this thing was and where it came from I had this growing sensation of dread. It looks exactly like a human penis. Maybe not human, but definatly a penis, and I have no idea where it came from.

I don't know if the pictures capture it exactly but it is anamonically correct, this is definaly flesh. It has teh big vein that runs on the underside of the penis, the cross section of what looks like it should be the ball sac looks right. There is a destinct mushroom shaped head complete with a pee hole.

I am a rational person, this is the most disturbing thing to happen to me. I am 100% convinced its a penis. Now the question is, how did it get there. Only I and my GF live in this apartment. I dont know what it is.... so she must. Everyone says about murdering psycos that they always seem like the nicest people and would never had guessed. Now I dont think she did it, but she must know what it is. I am seriously scared, i have my door locked. I can wake her up (with my shoes on, my knive in my pocket and my cell phone on the line with a friend in my pocket) or I can call the cops and just say [censored] it. Or is there an option three?? I act in 15 minutes because i need to get my nerves together and figure out what to do. Just needed time to get my thouhts together and formulate a plan. Thought I would share with oot. If I dont die to some satanic cult that is upset with that i found their secret storage place for body parts, ill post what i hope will be a hilarious and totally rational ending to this trip report.

here are the pics, ill post them in link form so that after the first one you dont want to look any more you dont have too.

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f1...s/IMG_1506.jpg

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f1...s/IMG_1508.jpg

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f1...s/IMG_1507.jpg

http://i44.photobucket.com/albums/f1...s/IMG_1506.jpg

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Looks like a turkey neck sport.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

[ QUOTE ]
Looks like a turkey neck sport.

[/ QUOTE ]

My thoughts exactly.

You have checked your pants right?

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

[ QUOTE ]
Looks like a turkey neck sport.

[/ QUOTE ]

Lol, I think that solves it. I talked to Reprocess on the phone, he sounded pretty freaked out though.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Here's a non-frozen turkey neck:

http://foment.net/archives/turkeyneck.jpg

This is pretty funny btw.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

These guys are nuts, it's clearly a [censored] penis.

Call the [censored] cops now man and get them over there ASAP!

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

WOW

I just googled pictures of turkey neck and it looks exactly what this is. My parents came down over thanksgiving and my gf and her made a turkey so that makes complete sense.

You guys have no idea, i was seriously freaking out, i called goblin mason and told him the story so he can substantiate the fact that my thoughts were exactly what what was in the OP (his idea to post in oot to see if any one had any ideas).

I feel like a complete idiot, but i dont care. I have the most rediculus sense of relief. The problem with the whole thing was that If i had two options i wouldnt have been so worried, its either a severed penis, or its X. I couldnt think of an alternative for the life of me, so the more i thought about it the more worried i got. Dear god im stupid. But you got to admit, it looks like a penis, at least a part of something that definatly shouldnt be in my freezer when im trying to look for a pot pie.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

I was looking for more turkey neck pics and found this:

http://www.cramps.de/wrestling/round-4.htm

(El Diablo Sighting)

btw mine doesn't look like that

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Wow, did you see the face and nose in the first link? Creepy.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

This is a great thread

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Bwahahah, this is hilarious. Not that I wouldn't have thought the same thing, but still - gold.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Me (1:44:07 AM): do you understand now?
GoblinMason (1:44:28 AM): i'm not convinced that it's a wang, but it's certainly fleshy
GoblinMason (1:44:40 AM): post in oot
Me (1:44:47 AM): im making a post now

Me (1:56:01 AM): there done and done
Me (1:56:23 AM): getting my knife and shoes on
GoblinMason (1:56:52 AM): LOL
Me (1:58:20 AM): alright
Me (1:58:25 AM): i dont think ill have the phone on
GoblinMason (1:58:28 AM): ok
Me (1:58:35 AM): but if i dont call you by 230
Me (1:58:38 AM): something is wrong
GoblinMason (1:58:40 AM): ok

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Just to be on the safe side though, you should probably think about sleeping on your stomach for now on.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

[ QUOTE ]
Just to be on the safe side though, you should probably think about eating it so you don't starve to death.

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

wtf this is the most effed up thing i've ever read in OOT

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

lol, awesome

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Suck on the end a little. If it straightens out and gets hard, it's a penis.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Reprocess,

If you seriously thought that looks like a penis - you really need to see a docter. Obviously, something is wrong with your dick.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

at least for Reprocess, the expression is now "choke the turkey"

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Yeah that really doesn't look like a penis at all...but I'd be weirded out if I found something that looked like that in my freezer too.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

You're off your meds again.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

New title for OP: The Boy Who Cried Penis

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Are you going to tell your girlfriend that you believed that it was at least possible that she was storing some guys hacked-off schlong in your freezer?

OOT's first real-time serial killer apprehension would've been pretty sweet, though.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

[ QUOTE ]
New title for OP: The Boy Who Cried Wang

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

I am seriously laughing my ass off. The first pic I looked like, I was like, that's a turkey neck, wtf. ROFLMAO.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

I have so far typed 4 different responses to this, all of which I have deleted because of varying degrees of stupidity and inappropriateness. I got nothing. Eat a dick.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
New title for OP: The Boy Who Cried Wang

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Well, his current title of "member" isnt too bad either.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

who the f*ck saves a turkey neck???

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
New title for OP: The Boy Who Cried Wang

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]

Make it so!

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

[ QUOTE ]
who the f*ck saves a turkey neck???

[/ QUOTE ]

Let's of people save them to make gravy.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
who the f*ck saves a turkey neck???

[/ QUOTE ]

Let's of people save them to make gravy.

[/ QUOTE ]

learn something new every day

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Gravy is made from frozen penises?!

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

[ QUOTE ]
Loc: downssyndromeieville

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Yep, you're an idiot!

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
who the f*ck saves a turkey neck???

[/ QUOTE ]

Let's of people save them to make gravy.

[/ QUOTE ]

why waste it doing that? I'll eat the neck every time - it's some of the best dark meat on the bird - tender

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

[ QUOTE ]
WOW

I just googled pictures of turkey neck and it looks exactly what this is. My parents came down over thanksgiving and my gf and her made a turkey so that makes complete sense.

You guys have no idea, i was seriously freaking out, i called goblin mason and told him the story so he can substantiate the fact that my thoughts were exactly what what was in the OP (his idea to post in oot to see if any one had any ideas).

I feel like a complete idiot, but i dont care. I have the most rediculus sense of relief. The problem with the whole thing was that If i had two options i wouldnt have been so worried, its either a severed penis, or its X. I couldnt think of an alternative for the life of me, so the more i thought about it the more worried i got. Dear god im stupid. But you got to admit, it looks like a penis, at least a part of something that definatly shouldnt be in my freezer when im trying to look for a pot pie.

[/ QUOTE ]

no it does not look like a penis. had i found that, id immediately assume it was X until it could be proved it was a penis. which is more likely, that there is a penis frozen in your refrigerator (meaning that not ONLY is your girlfriend or one of your friends sick, BUT ALSO that they are crazy enough, or deranged enough to leave evidence of their sickness or prank in your fridge), or that your gf has cooked something in the past that may now be something you can't recognize. if this isn't a case for occams razor, i dont know what is. the penis requires quite the parlay. the X requires 1 fact.

Barron

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

Nice title the mods gave the OP, but I still stand by The Boy Who Cried Wang

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

My gf woke up today and i told her that "last night I almost woke you up with the distinct possiblity in my mind that i may have to stab you and run out of the house". I told her about what i found and the thread she was rofling, and like omg.

See the thing is she is a full time student at the art institute of portland, im 27 year old guy and we almost never cook. So when i found it i was like wtf is this, trying to think of every convievable explananation, i really thought it was a penis but perhaps from a pig(you know a large 500 pound hog or something). The more i thought about it i realized that we had never bought anything like that in the 8 months or so we have been here. I totally forgot about thanksgiving with my parents but even if i had remembered I didnt know that people saved stuff like that. She told me that my mom told us to save it because its good for flavoring soup and stuff, wich we obviously were never going to make.

Being in an art school i thought maybe she found some weird friend or something that told her to store it for a while or stashed it in our frige when we werent looking. I really had no idea what to think, i was coming up with all sorts of crazy explanaionts. And really, who keeps a turkey neck around?! And how do so many ppl know what one looks like right off the bat? Anyways, I'm glad this is over. My deepest thanks to goblin mason who suggested posting in oot before i did anything so as to be eternally humilated on the interweb.

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

I think you should cook it.
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y14...001_resize.jpg

TT [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

Re: penis in the back of my freezer, whats the play? For Real. nsfw
 

It looks nothing like a pecker. It's way too huge.