the embarrassment phenomenon
 

i occasionally suffer from a profound sense of embarrassment for other people. like a tangible feeling of flushed faced wanting to hide embarrassment. the problem is this......

they are usually on tv or a movie doing something stupid.

does anyone else ever get this?

the hide your eyes, omg they didn't just do/say that, how can they ever get out of this situation, they didn't really do that did they feeling?

i never get this in real life. i usually laugh at people making a fool of themselves or when they put their foot in their mouth or ask a stupid question it never ever embarrasses me, in fact i think usually quite enjoy it.

this "phenomenon" makes watching a very funny good show like 'curb your enthusiasm' virtually impossible because larry is always making want to die with his dumb ass antics. not that they aren't funny, but i actually get very uncomfortable when he peaking with his most comedic moments of shame on the show. this is only one fairly poor example of what i am speaking of.

i never get embarrassed personally when i do or say dumb things or make marginally questionable posts like this one. wanting an explanation to something that may or may not be common and may or may not be understandable doesn't embarrass me at all even though it should.

zero embarrassment from me, but when watching a fictional character make an ass out of themselves it is super difficult for me to watch.

any explanations out there? anyone else suffer this same plight?

cheers. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img] J.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

When a character is embarrassing themselves, my wife covers her face and eventually leaves the room.

Normal things that affect a movie's rating don't affect her; she's got no problem watching rated R movies. She just needs a new rating of E for embarassing slapstick comedies.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I used to have this, but I liked Ricky Gervais's The Office so much that I watched it in spite of the embarrassment, and eventually the overload kinda cured me. Seriously. (The NBC Office or CYE don't lay it on thick enough for this to work, imo.)

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I totally get this too - I couldn't watch seinfeld forever cause that's what kind of humour it is (especially George)

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I get this hardcore, I change the channel a lot. I don't know why, usually I'll just be like 'get over it, make a joke of it' but sometimes I get that can't watch feeling.

I almost always just use mind over matter and it's not a big deal, but it's definitely a crazy weird feeling.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

[ QUOTE ]
I totally get this too - I couldn't watch seinfeld forever cause that's what kind of humour it is (especially George)

[/ QUOTE ]

Same.

Try watching the new series "Big Bang Theory." Wow, I couldn't get through 5 minutes and then I had to delete it off my tivo.

Pretty much any movie with Ben Stiller in it I cannot watch because of this.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

everyone always says they got this with the uk office but i never did, nor seinfeld.

i never used to do this but have found myself doing it a lot lately, it's normally at 'real-life' stuff like an incredibly cringeworthy scene on laguna beach.

as i'm usually watching stuff on my laptop i usually just grunt 'oh my' and stab pause a few times.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I have this and I hate it. I love Curb but sometimes can't even watch because of some situation he's in, I will literally cover my ears and change the channel. I can usually handle The Office but sometimes I get the same thing from that. And the movie Borat and or anything Ali G etc. is completely unwatchable to me, I made it through once and now any time anyone is watching it I will immediately turn around and leave the room.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

You guys are weird.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

Watching Borat or Ali G was probably the strongest Ive ever felt the phenomenon.
I still enjoyed the movie and tv shows though. Just some parts were really "tough" to get through in this regard.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

Wow and I thought I was the only one with this type of problem. I thought it was just strange and never told anybody about it. I hate when I'm watching a show and get that feeling, if I'm alone the channel gets changed, if I'm with someone else then I just grim and bear it. It is usually just watching crappy sitcom's that will do it for me.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

[ QUOTE ]
Wow and I thought I was the only one with this type of problem. I thought it was just strange and never told anybody about it. I hate when I'm watching a show and get that feeling, if I'm alone the channel gets changed, if I'm with someone else then I just grim and bear it. It is usually just watching crappy sitcom's that will do it for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

my brother from another mother (or sister maybe)

these were my thoughts exactly, but in a better and simpler form than my original post. i have to change the channel all time from this stuff. can anyone explain why? please.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I regularly have to change the channel for the same reason.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I love watching WSOP 2004-2006 broadcasts that I haven't seen before, but I got this feeling for the first time during the Circuit Event w/ John Juanda. Completely unwatchable...

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I totally get this feeling as well and can't even explain it to myself, when I'm by myself, why I have to change the channel.

It's the worse though when watching TV/movie with Mom or Dad and a sex scene comes one.....just kill me now!!

T

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

[ QUOTE ]
You guys are weird.

[/ QUOTE ]

co-signed

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I get this a lot too...

A great example is the Britney video.

I don't think I could get through that video if I tried for exactly the reasons in the OP.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

Wow this thread is awesome. It's like a scene in a movie when a character realizes he really is not alone in the world.
It's like near automatic for me. Either pause or channel gets changed. If I'm watching something in my laptop, I automatically open a web browser and read some random [censored] somewhere while the awkward scene ends.

I could however offer an explanation. Usually when you learned a certain emotional response to something, every time you experience that again, you go back to the original to access it. Like, that's how you get wired to actually be able to produce that emotion, in this case, embarrasment.
So, I'd wager that those that relate to this thread possibly have a negative reaction wired into their way to deal with "embarrasment", while those that think all of us are weird don't.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I've usually had the same feeling/urge, but I don't think it hits me much when in my mind, I know it's fiction -

some of that reality TV has made me cringe and change the channel a couple times -

RB

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I get this too. I put it down to empathy - I figure that I am subconsciously putting myself in their shoes. Presumably the next guy doesn't, dunno which I'd prefer to be, both have their pros and cons.

I used to think this was a lack of confidence somewhere, which is kind of weird as lack of confidence isn't exactly a big problem of mine. However, I think it's quite common to over empathise with someone and thus be less sure of your own stance, so it's the same thing really.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I used to have this alot but these days I just think "well its already happened so I might as well view it" or if its REALLY annoying like that [censored] chris crocker [censored] I turn it off and never think of it again.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

[ QUOTE ]
i occasionally suffer from a profound sense of embarrassment for other people. like a tangible feeling of flushed faced wanting to hide embarrassment. the problem is this......

they are usually on tv or a movie doing something stupid.

does anyone else ever get this?

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, occasionally. Not restricted to TV though, could be some live performance. Usually it's some kind of performance related thing, like singing or dancing that's real bad. Maybe because I automatically live vacariously, and I can't sing or dance, and would be embarrassed to try. Come to think of it I did try once, and I still have "daymares" about it :-)

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

[ QUOTE ]
I put it down to empathy - I figure that I am subconsciously putting myself in their shoes.

[/ QUOTE ]

I said "living vacariously", but this is probably more accurate.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I had the same experience with Meet the Parents while watching it the first time. Very uncomfortable for no logical reason.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

http://home.datacomm.ch/mpuppis/images/family.jpg

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://home.datacomm.ch/mpuppis/images/family.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

i totally forgot how often this show made me want to crawl into a cave and die.

i think i was about the same age as the lead characters and it seemed like i really felt for them and the seemingly life altering things that they could never personally recover from. great pic too.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

wtf idk if this is a humongous level or what...

i have never experienced this inm y life...or anything close

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

i also just figured out that i never get embarrassed for the evil at heart.

if someone "bad" does something and gets caught/punished/embarrassed i don't mind a bit.

i only cringe when it is the innocent or stupid i think or when they are embarrassed by those around them.

kevin from the wonder years is such a great great example.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

i always feel embarassed for other people on tv, like the ladies in the bachelor and the stuff they do lol, its wierd

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

[ QUOTE ]
i always feel embarassed for other people on tv, like the ladies in the bachelor and the stuff they do lol, its wierd

[/ QUOTE ]

i can't even watch reality tv because of this. real people is way too much to handle. the fictional ones get me enough. the girls on the bachelor are beyond belief embarrassing.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

So crazy there is a thread on this. I have never seen anyone else do it , and my girlfriend makes fun of me for doing it.

I watch most of my shows on the computer and fast forward through the parts that make me do this.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

[ QUOTE ]
Wow and I thought I was the only one with this type of problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, I used to think the same thing, there was a big thread in OOT awhile back about it tho, and I didnt feel weird anymore cuz it seems like a TON of people are the same way.

I like watching crappy shows like "made" on MTV and those are the worst for me, cuz its usually some fat guy or huge nerd in high school trying to be cool, and its sooo hard to watch. I literally have to force myself to not change the channel.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

I have this too and even worse. This is the reason those bad horror movies are just unwatchable for me. I mean people do the most super retarded things every, theyr motor functions seems to malfunction and they get killed. I just cant watch it because of theyr stupidity. I start liking them a bit but the fact that they somehow cant beat the evil makes me want to jump in the screen and kick everyones ass.

Sometimes while watching one of those things i think it would be way cooler if arnold popped up somehwere and just put all these main characters and bad guys out of there fking misery.

I also have this in real life sometimes. Which is even worse, if someone I like is embarassing him/herself big time im also a little bit embarassed.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Wow and I thought I was the only one with this type of problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, I used to think the same thing, there was a big thread in OOT awhile back about it tho, and I didnt feel weird anymore cuz it seems like a TON of people are the same way.

I like watching crappy shows like "made" on MTV and those are the worst for me, cuz its usually some fat guy or huge nerd in high school trying to be cool, and its sooo hard to watch. I literally have to force myself to not change the channel.

[/ QUOTE ]

alobar,

i can't believe there was another thread on this.
(i am terrible about searching anything on here)
surprising so many people suffer from it because it makes little sense still after all the explanations and what not.

funny i didn't think you would have this problem and i mean that as a real compliment. later. J.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

If you identify with OP hand in your badge and gun, you are no longer a man.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

[ QUOTE ]
If you identify with OP hand in your badge and gun, you are no longer a man.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL!

so not true bro.

nice try though, nice try.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

If its a fictional show (ie. seinfeld, curb ur enthusiam), where I know that they are actors, I don't get this feeling. For me, I cringe when someone is struggling in a morning show interview or something like that. Or a news cross that gets totally screwed and the interviewee is obv. uncomfortable with the situation...

So, yeh, gotta be real for me to experience the vicarious embarrassment phenomenon. [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Wow and I thought I was the only one with this type of problem.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeah, I used to think the same thing, there was a big thread in OOT awhile back about it tho, and I didnt feel weird anymore cuz it seems like a TON of people are the same way.

I like watching crappy shows like "made" on MTV and those are the worst for me, cuz its usually some fat guy or huge nerd in high school trying to be cool, and its sooo hard to watch. I literally have to force myself to not change the channel.

[/ QUOTE ]

alobar,

i can't believe there was another thread on this.
(i am terrible about searching anything on here)

[/ QUOTE ]

It was a thread on weird little quirks about yourself, IIRC. Then one person mentioned this and half of 2+2 jumped in and said OMG ME TOO.

I think Kurosh started the thread and said he likes to have a variety of toothpaste to keep things interesting.

Also, I think this is weird and doesn't happen to me at all, and was shocked at the Kurosh thread.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

Not much to add, other than that I get this really badly also.

Re: the embarrassment phenomenon
 

My ex girlfriend gave me the entire Curb package on DVD and I spent a good part of the time watching it pretending to have to do something in the kitchen.