Dating/relationship general advice thread - volume 2
 

Apparently people have some questions!

Volume 1

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

should i tell girls that i am a kafka scholar?

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

D, would it be possible to separate the girls/dating from the personal/whatever life situation stuff?

It's not that long discussions about the merits of various babe-hunting policies aren't interesting, it's just that I felt that some of the other stuff kind of got lost in there.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

i like this girl from school. shes a year younger, no big deal. She's russian. Blonde and sexy. we walk home together with her friend for about a week now. usually about a 2 minute walk til i start a new path to home. when i see her with her friends i open the whole group and it's usually play ful /fun conversatiuon. i think she likes me too. how do i escalate?

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

oh and her friends are all hot including the one that walks home with us. She is very sexual. Always brings up fun sex topics /escapades shes had anyways im pretty sure shes bi. should i try for a 3 some? also, the russina hjottie is kind of quiet, not so open and eccentric as her friend.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

All,

Moved this post from cowpig over here:

--
What's a good way to meet girls?

I live alone in a nice apartment in a great location in Montreal, consider myself pretty good-looking, and am generally pretty charming/socially capable. So I feel like I should have no problem with women, but the first part really gets me.

I have some friends who are in college here (I moved here recently), but the only attractive girls they ever hang out with are ones they are interested in themselves.

I have no idea how to "pick up" girls at bars, and that stuff usually just makes me feel sleazy anyway. Plus, any conversation I have with girls I don't know leads them to asking me questions like "are you in school?" and "why not?" and eventually my caving and telling them I play poker which is always pretty annoying...

And other than at bars and through friends, I don't really see places to meet people.
--

Help the kid out!

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

Cowpig,

How old are you?

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

Cowpig,

Always be smiling, always be flirting, always have something to do (random entertainment, concert gig, even an art show), and don't be afraid to be forward. Nothing else matters.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
i like this girl from school.

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
i think she likes me too. how do i escalate?

[/ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
should i try for a 3 some?

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude, she probably knows how to squeeze her pussy muscles just right.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

Cowpig,

Montreal is one of the easiest cities to pick up in so I'm sure it is just a matter of getting settled in and use to the city.

What type of girl are you attracted to?

Where have you been going when you go out?

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

i think you are judging these hot girls your friends hang out with innacurately. Hot girls are interested in themselves? get outa here!(sarcasm) Hot girls are often just as insecure and crave fun social interactions as the next girl but get aproached constantly by guys with no game so they have to reject the few that are weak right from the start. Don't feel bad their just rejecting your technique. You just have to break through the mold to bring that fun person out. Don't assume hot girls are bitchy plz.

Picking up girls at bars or coffee shops or whatever is NOT sleazy. What's sleazy is going to a bar, sitting down with your friends and staring at all the hot girls in your chair from a distance and never approaching. Use the 3second rule. Approaching women and groups in general in public settings is so much fun, especially if you already have some social skills. Even if you mess up, there are PLENTY of other women and also you have a new story you can tell.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
[blah blah blah] Don't assume hot girls are bitchy plz.

[/ QUOTE ]

wtf are you talking about? is this a carry over from the previous thread? or maybe i just missed where this was said

your post seems really random

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

James Boston,
I'm 20 years old


AtriusX,
Having something to invite girls to is a good point. Thanks.


Henry17,
I agree that Montreal should be the easiest place ever.

Your run-of-the-mill blonde who is studying interior design or fashion and is a big fan of caroline rhea makes me want to gouge out my eyes with a fork. I am attracted to girls who are intelligent, have things to say, and have a lot of character. Girls that are a little quirky/weird are my favorites, as long as it's not a forced, over-the-top thing that I see in a lot of "scene" girls.

I generally stay away from clubs (not my thing). If you know downtown montreal, the places I've gone to most often are Saint Sulpice (place with big terrace on St-Denis), some places on St-Laurent, and some spots on Crescent (particularly Brutopia, gogo live music).


DerrtySlime,
I am not saying the girls are attracted to my friends. I am saying my friends are into them, and I don't want to cramp their [censored], you know? I'm actually quite a bit better at getting girls than my friends are once I have an excuse to talk to them.

And it's the dishonesty of forcing a conversation with a girl I don't know when I clearly have ulterior motives that doesn't sit well with me.



Do any of you guys have a specific example of how you've picked up a girl that you could share with me? Or just an example of a conversation you've started with some random girls you don't know?

When I'm very drunk I sometimes just walk up to girls and say "Hi, I'm Max" and I'm not sure how well that works because I'm always too drunk to have a clue (but it's definitely started conversations before). I don't think I can do that comfortably when I'm sober enough to run a little charm.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

FWIW i think girls get a kick out of my success at poker...you shouldnt be ashamed to tell them about something cool you like to do. a lot of girls will find you more interesting than the typical guy.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

Hi, i'm____" is fine. just dont be drunk when you approach.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

I spend a lot of time in MTL. We don't have the same taste in women so not sure if I can help. My normal suggestions would have been Time, Myst, Bonna Notte etc but you don't like clubs. Maybe Mansion or Wonderbar?

There are a lot of girls who are "a little quirky/weird" in the EDM scene. Not sure is that is your thing.

I find sarcasm doesn't work with French girls. Even if they speak decent English they don't seem to follow sarcasm.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

I don't have much to add right now except saint sulpice and brutopia are both awesome and were regular hangouts when I lived in montreal.

For the most parts girls were really friendly, really approachable, and really easy in that city. Especially if you're student age or close to it.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

MTL has at least two nightlife chat sites. Normally 80-90% of the people on these sites are complete losers but that leaves 10-20% of people who you can meet and increase your social network.

I don't remember the names of the sites but google will probably get you there.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

Approaching random girls is probably the scariest thing ever. Your heart starts pumping like crazy because you don't know what's going to happen. But as a guy, you gotta do what you gotta do.

I've always thought girls are going to be mean but they're quite nice when it comes to rejection haha.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

Simple question for you guys. I met a girl at a bar the other night. I'm incredibly drunk, probably hovering around being blacked out, and start hitting it off with this girl towards the end of the night. We leave the bar together in search of food. Eventually she gives me a ride home and we make out for a little while in front of my house. The problem is I inputed her number in my phone and dialed it rather than entering it as a new address with her name. When I woke up on Sunday, blank, I realize I have no clue what her name is. From what I remember she seems worth calling and trying to hang out with her again.

Note: Her voice mail doesn't contain her name.

What's the best line here? Call and explain I forgot her name? Other?

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
What's the best line here? Call and explain I forgot her name? Other?

[/ QUOTE ]

Option 1
sweetie
honey
pumpkin
etc.

then, just repeat whatever the priest says when you get married*



*or have a look at her id/car rego/bill/etc. sometime discreetely. she's not going to appreciate that you don't know her name.

Option 2

"How do you spell your name?"

"It's S-A-R-A-H of course"

"No, you muppet, your surname."

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

Friend ::dials girl's number from his phone::
Girl: Hello
Friend: Hey, who is this? I found this number in my phone.
Girl: Oh, it's xxxx ldo.

Only backfire is if you get a really smooth friend to do this and she's smitten.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
Simple question for you guys. I met a girl at a bar the other night. I'm incredibly drunk, probably hovering around being blacked out, and start hitting it off with this girl towards the end of the night. We leave the bar together in search of food. Eventually she gives me a ride home and we make out for a little while in front of my house. The problem is I inputed her number in my phone and dialed it rather than entering it as a new address with her name. When I woke up on Sunday, blank, I realize I have no clue what her name is. From what I remember she seems worth calling and trying to hang out with her again.

Note: Her voice mail doesn't contain her name.

What's the best line here? Call and explain I forgot her name? Other?

[/ QUOTE ]

The most sure fire route is to get a friend to call on your behalf, ask for *random name here*, when she says he has the wrong number, ask her to clarify her name. But if you call the same day, she might realise if she's smart.

A way for you personally to do it is to call the number, and say "hey liz (or your sisters name, or a cousin, or whatever), I just deposited the money in your account". She'll say its not liz, you ask who it is, she'll say her name, then you play off the "ohhh [censored] I dialed the wrong number, how funny, look I'll call you back in five!".

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

Hey guys,

Have any of you dated or married or whatever with a girl who is significantly less intelligent than you?

How important is having comparable intelligence levels in a long term relationship?

For example, if your girlfriend was really nice to you, had a great personality, and was physically attractive, but she is not as smart as you, how would that impact things? Where does intelligence rank on the totem pole?

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Simple question for you guys. I met a girl at a bar the other night. I'm incredibly drunk, probably hovering around being blacked out, and start hitting it off with this girl towards the end of the night. We leave the bar together in search of food. Eventually she gives me a ride home and we make out for a little while in front of my house. The problem is I inputed her number in my phone and dialed it rather than entering it as a new address with her name. When I woke up on Sunday, blank, I realize I have no clue what her name is. From what I remember she seems worth calling and trying to hang out with her again.

Note: Her voice mail doesn't contain her name.

What's the best line here? Call and explain I forgot her name? Other?

[/ QUOTE ]

The most sure fire route is to get a friend to call on your behalf, ask for *random name here*, when she says he has the wrong number, ask her to clarify her name. But if you call the same day, she might realise if she's smart.

A way for you personally to do it is to call the number, and say "hey liz (or your sisters name, or a cousin, or whatever), I just deposited the money in your account". She'll say its not liz, you ask who it is, she'll say her name, then you play off the "ohhh [censored] I dialed the wrong number, how funny, look I'll call you back in five!".

[/ QUOTE ]

wtf noobs

i go for days w/o calling anyone by their name

just don't say her name

"hi, this is bob, just calling you to see if you want to....."

see... no name

when you meet her in person,

"hi, it's nice to see you again"

see... no name

the funny thing is i had a friend who called someone by the wrong name for 6 months, he wasn't corrected.... it was a running joke w/ everyone else... funny stuff

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

j, slightly worried if she pulls out a simple name.

m, I think this could work although I like Atrurius' idea a little better of having a friend call and ask for x and when she says no this isn't her he asks, oh who is this...

How about something via txt? Maybe me sending her a text saying I had fun the other night and signing my name at the end hoping she responds doing the same?

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]


Option 2

"How do you spell your name?"

"It's S-A-R-A-H of course"

"No, you muppet, your surname."

[/ QUOTE ]

"k-i-m"

"oh, thanks kim"

"wtf, that's my surname.... do you even know my name you drunk [censored]?"

Re: Dating/relationship general advice thread - volume 2
 

from volume one (regarding getting shot down repeatedly and then hitting on more girls):
"As for the flips, I think we're trapped in a level situation so I'll try to clear it up. Next flip is 50/50 no matter how many flips you have lost before."

when do you start to think that the coin is rigged and it's not just fluctuation? IIRC, the thread mentioned getting shot down 100 times in a row, but doing it again because the 101st time is 50/50. I may need to host a 21 game and invite you all.

reply without the gambling analogies:
if you get shot down repeatedly, take a look in the mirror and see if it's something about your approach/appearance/reputation/whatever that's turning off the girls. eventually, you have to figure that it's you ad not them.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

Perhaps getting an email address or something of that sort would work?

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
Perhaps getting an email address or something of that sort would work?

[/ QUOTE ]

This is a good one too.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

Girlfriend and I broke up mutually in August. I wanted to get back together in Sept, she said no. Mid Oct I talk to her and she says she isn't ready to start anything w/ me again, she's with someone else, she needs more time. I tell her that I'm never going to contact her again, but she knows how to reach me.

She called twice tonight, 15 minutes apart, while I was out at the movies. Left no message. WTF is my play? I don't know if she was ready to throw herself at me, or if the cat was sick or her mom died.

Of note:
1. it was a long distance relationship for the last year, I was going to move out there in jan
2. i'm dating someone else, happy with it, but not super happy.
3. right or wrong, i'd probably drop everything to give her a another go.

With that in mind, should I call her back? Text? Email? Ignore? I was doing well thinking that she was gone...now wtf

*what is our take on her calling twice, 15 minutes apart, and not leaving messages?

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

just call her and ask what's up.

it could be something mundane (ie, what's the password to that joint website account) or it might be something else.

you'll never, never know if you never, never go.

(australia's northern territory used that as an advertising slogan for tourism)

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]

Have any of you dated or married or whatever with a girl who is significantly less intelligent than you?

[/ QUOTE ]
In my experience, it's not a deal breaker, or even a huge problem, as long as you respect each other. It doesn't have to get in the way of having great discussions, or learning from each other.

When the respect wasn't there, I felt I couldn't take the relationship seriously, which was a problem for me. YMMV.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
Have any of you dated or married or whatever with a girl who is significantly less intelligent than you?

[/ QUOTE ]

No offense to the ladies, but I'm strongly considering looking for a chick who doesn't speak english on the other side of the world (this doesn't mean she's stupid, but her intelligence will be hard to discern beyond the speed with which she picks up english). I think a loving relationship could develop and might even be more sustainable in this kind of situation, but I'd welcome other thoughts.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
ave any of you dated or married or whatever with a girl who is significantly less intelligent than you?

[/ QUOTE ]

Short term it is fine. Actually preferable. Long term no.

Avg intelligence is a deal breaker for long or short term.

That being said some guys wouldn't mind a girl not being that smart. It would give them some extra control in the relationship. Not my thing and that you are asking implies it is probably not yours either.

--------

Phone number and no name: I've managed to go on 3 dates with a girl and no name.

I assume the number is a cell number and not a landline otherwise I'd suggest a reverse directory.

If the bar you met her at is one of her favourites she might have joined it's Facebook group or you might have other information that would help you find her on Facebook.

I wouldn't admit to not remembering it. If you were both drunk then maybe but since she drove she was sober enough. Just fake it long enough until it comes up normally.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
wtf noobs

i go for days w/o calling anyone by their name

[/ QUOTE ]
I do that, but I think it's probably a bad habit and worth fixing

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
Hey guys,

Have any of you dated or married or whatever with a girl who is significantly less intelligent than you?

How important is having comparable intelligence levels in a long term relationship?

For example, if your girlfriend was really nice to you, had a great personality, and was physically attractive, but she is not as smart as you, how would that impact things? Where does intelligence rank on the totem pole?

[/ QUOTE ]

That poll really upset you, huh?

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Have any of you dated or married or whatever with a girl who is significantly less intelligent than you?

[/ QUOTE ]

No offense to the ladies, but I'm strongly considering looking for a chick who doesn't speak english on the other side of the world (this doesn't mean she's stupid, but her intelligence will be hard to discern beyond the speed with which she picks up english). I think a loving relationship could develop and might even be more sustainable in this kind of situation, but I'd welcome other thoughts.

[/ QUOTE ]

I gave up dating girls who aren't native English speakers. I joke around and am very sarcastic and use irony a lot and it gets you down to have to continually explain things to the point when you don't bother joking around anymore.

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

A girl has to be able to understand my jokes and hold a conversation with me consistently. That's as far as her intelligence needs to take her.

You'd be surprised how hard it is to find a girl that fits that criteria thoguh

Re: Personal / dating / whatever life situation gen advice - volume 2
 

[ QUOTE ]
A girl has to be able to understand my jokes and hold a conversation with me consistently. That's as far as her intelligence needs to take her.

You'd be surprised how hard it is to find a girl that fits that criteria thoguh

[/ QUOTE ]

I know exactly how hard it is. It took me 36 years to find an awesome one. Worth the wait though.