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-   -   VERY serious friend related situation (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=533562)

unknown_one 10-29-2007 12:28 AM

VERY serious friend related situation
 
Sorry about the gimmick accout OOT, but it's necessary.

Ok, I was dating this girl for about the last month. Three weeks ago, we decided to break it off and just become friends. Obviously, we are still extremely close. Last night she went out drinking with another one of my friends who is probably her closest guy friend. She ended up falling asleep on his futon (nothing out of the ordinary-- she did this when we were dating even) when they were both drunk. At around 3 in the morning last night, she wakes up and he is trying to rape her.

She has obviously been pretty shaken up today and is talking with me and her best girl friend (who also happens to be one of my best friends) and I'm not really sure what to do. Obviously, I need to help her out any way I can for now, and be someone to talk to. But outside of this, is there really anything I can do?

Please be serious here, I really don't know what to do.

tedfurlong 10-29-2007 12:30 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
Call her a liar until she cries and then laugh at her.

XXXNoahXXX 10-29-2007 12:32 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
did he stop when she told him to? if so, then no harm no foul. who hasn't tried to sip it in a sleeping female friend?

tedfurlong 10-29-2007 12:34 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
She's just lucky she didn't get peed on.

GiantWalleye 10-29-2007 12:42 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
good luck getting a serious response. I have no advice since ive never dealt with this situation.

miajag 10-29-2007 12:44 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
I think this is a perfect spot to apply the time-honored legal doctrine of "eye for an eye."

esad 10-29-2007 12:49 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
I think this is a perfect spot to apply the time-honored legal doctrine of "eye for an eye."

[/ QUOTE ]

So are you saying that the OP now gets to rape his friend??

XXXNoahXXX 10-29-2007 12:49 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
Serious response: What can you do? It's not like she is going to bring charges against him. How exactly did it go down? What do you mean "trying to rape her"? Did she sprint away, fight him off or did he stop? What happened the next day? Has anyone talked to him about it?

There's like a million more details you need to include before we can give good advice. (even then it will likely be "be there to support her and that's it) but still, details my man.

esad 10-29-2007 12:52 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
My simple serious response.

It's not your problem. You are not the girl nor the guy.

They need to handle this in whatever manner works for them. If someone asks for advice then you can give them some but otherwise you should stay out of it.

imitation 10-29-2007 12:54 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
She's just lucky she didn't get peed in .

[/ QUOTE ]

Kimbell175113 10-29-2007 12:56 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
What do you mean "trying to rape her"?

[/ QUOTE ]
"Do or do not..."
http://img81.imageshack.us/img81/821...ackpackwk2.jpg

PoWdA 10-29-2007 12:57 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
ugh... I just don't get it. Drunk chick passes out on a drunk dudes couch, he makes move, she cries rape.



Seriously was he trying to "rape" her or just making a move.

Los Feliz Slim 10-29-2007 01:22 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
Drunk chick passes out on a drunk dudes couch, he makes move

[/ QUOTE ]

If you don't see what's wrong with the above, there is something wrong with you.

iggymcfly 10-29-2007 01:26 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
Are you sure that he was actually trying to rape her and that she didn't just black out and then start having sex with him? If you were close friends with this guy at all, I think you should try to get both sides of the story here.

unknown_one 10-29-2007 01:31 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
Serious response: What can you do? It's not like she is going to bring charges against him. How exactly did it go down? What do you mean "trying to rape her"? Did she sprint away, fight him off or did he stop? What happened the next day? Has anyone talked to him about it?


There's like a million more details you need to include before we can give good advice. (even then it will likely be "be there to support her and that's it) but still, details my man.

[/ QUOTE ]

She was a complete wreck the entire day, so I didnt get a lot of details. Also, this guy is an ok but not great friend of mine... something I did not mention in the OP.

Here's what I do know
-- She texted me at 3 last night and I knew something was wrong. I live about 4 rooms down from where this took place. While she told me today she should have come by then, she was just trying to get away from the place.

-- She slept in the room of her best girl friend... the one that I am alos very close with.

-- She obviously flipped out when she awoke. From what I understood (again, she was sobbing uncontrollably) she hit him as hard as she could and ran away. She is ~5'3 and very small; not to mention she was still drunk.

-- I am yet to talk to the guy about it, but I may. As much as I could and would like to beat the [censored] out of him, I won't. He is a friend of mine.

scpi10 10-29-2007 01:33 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
Are you sure that he was actually trying to rape her and that she didn't just black out and then start having sex with him? If you were close friends with this guy at all, I think you should try to get both sides of the story here.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is what I was thinking. She probably blacked out. You shouldn't get involved but if you do make sure you here both sides 1st

Case Closed 10-29-2007 01:37 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
I think the best you can do is be there for support and do your best to try and find out the facts before you move on. You have to also realize that both parties are going to lie their asses off to you. It's obvious for the guy...because well he does not want to be seen as a rapist. And the girl made this huge accusation that she can't reasonably back down from.

It's a horrible situation for everyone involved(not so much the guy if he actually raped her) just try and comfort her as much as you can is all you can really do.

unknown_one 10-29-2007 01:38 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Are you sure that he was actually trying to rape her and that she didn't just black out and then start having sex with him? If you were close friends with this guy at all, I think you should try to get both sides of the story here.

[/ QUOTE ]

I will talk to him at some point, but she was WAY too freaked out for this to just be him making a move. She is emotionally stronger than most guys I know, and she was a total wreck all day.

This is what I was thinking. She probably blacked out. You shouldn't get involved but if you do make sure you here both sides 1st

[/ QUOTE ]

Alobar 10-29-2007 01:42 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]

Ok, I was dating this girl for about the last month. Three weeks ago, we decided to break it off and just become friends.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol, so you dated her for a week?

Anyway, any advice you are gunna get in this thread is worthless, because no one can give you any advice because no one here knows enough about the situation to give anything meaningful. You are the only one who knows both people, and you are the only one in a position to talk to both of them and try to figure out what happened. So either provide waaaay more details (both their sides of the story, and your view on both of them), or its worthless.

so uh, yeah just try not to get in the middle of it yet still remain supportive

stormstarter28 10-29-2007 01:43 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
ugh... I just don't get it. Drunk chick passes out on a drunk dudes couch, he makes move, she cries rape.


[/ QUOTE ]

So, it's okay to try to have sex with a girl who's passed out if you're drunk? What are you saying here?

eviljeff 10-29-2007 01:46 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
pretty surprised I'm not seeing the usual "KICK HIS ASS!!!!11111oneone"

new leaf, OOT?

unknown_one 10-29-2007 01:48 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
No we dated for a month then figured out we were pobably better sa friends for now. It was still up in the air whether or not we would get back together. I do know that she was not on the market. We went way too fast at the beginning of our relationship, and decided we needed some space before continuing.

Before this, I thought of him as a decent guy. Was never really suspicious of him. I will get his side of the story before I really do anything major. Right now my job is to keep her stable.

unknown_one 10-29-2007 01:52 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
pretty surprised I'm not seeing the usual "KICK HIS ASS!!!!11111oneone"

new leaf, OOT?

[/ QUOTE ]

ironically, before my other friend told me, she made me promise I would not hurt anyone.

Mr. Philosophy 10-29-2007 02:02 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
As others have stated in this thread hear both sides of the story first before you make any judgments. I remember when I went to college a girl I knew made a claim that her next door neighbor raped her. When the facts came out it turns out she was so wasted that she must have had a dream because the guy wasn't even anywhere near campus at the time of the alleged rape.

Now I am not saying your ex-girlfriend imagined the attempted rape in this incident, but I do think you need to obtain more facts about what happened.

ginko 10-29-2007 02:24 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
This guy deserves his ass beat, he is a rapist. If she didnt wake up she would probably be pregnant right now.

God damn I cant believe the stupid people in this forum. How would you guys feel if your girlfriend or sister got raped or attempted to be raped?

Girls don't make up stuff like this unless they have proven to be compulsive liars.

tedfurlong 10-29-2007 02:25 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
ginko tried to rape me last night. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

nath 10-29-2007 04:29 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
I think the best you can do is be there for support and do your best to try and find out the facts before you move on. You have to also realize that both parties are going to lie their asses off to you. It's obvious for the guy...because well he does not want to be seen as a rapist. And the girl made this huge accusation that she can't reasonably back down from.

It's a horrible situation for everyone involved(not so much the guy if he actually raped her) just try and comfort her as much as you can is all you can really do.

[/ QUOTE ]
Very good point.
So on the bright side, OP has a great opportunity to hone his skill at sniffing out liars.

LeapFrog 10-29-2007 04:33 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
pretty surprised I'm not seeing the usual "KICK HIS ASS!!!!11111oneone"

new leaf, OOT?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think OOT just has a special place in its heart for Captain Tom

five4suited 10-29-2007 05:51 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
This guy deserves his ass beat, he is a rapist. If she didnt wake up she would probably be pregnant right now.

God damn I cant believe the stupid people in this forum. How would you guys feel if your girlfriend or sister got raped or attempted to be raped?

Girls don't make up stuff like this unless they have proven to be compulsive liars.

[/ QUOTE ]

If she's telling the truth, she should file a report with the police. If she invented some giant drama because she has secret feelings for you, then...

4_2_it 10-29-2007 09:24 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
1) Tell her not to crash at a rapist's apartment anymore
2) She either calls the cops or just steers clear of this guy from now on
3) No reason for OP to go into Columbo mode here

XXXNoahXXX 10-29-2007 09:31 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
We still need more details.

Like when she woke up was fondling her? undoing her pants? was he naked? is he hung? cut or uncut? how about her, is she hot? did she start of hating it but then get into once he started doing her?

just tell me at the details slowly...

leprous_hand 10-29-2007 09:39 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
1) Tell her not to crash at a rapist's apartment anymore
2) She either calls the cops or just steers clear of this guy from now on
3) No reason for OP to go into Columbo mode here

[/ QUOTE ]

If you do anything other than this you will regret it.

solids 10-29-2007 09:40 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b3...terms/doug.jpg

Klompy 10-29-2007 09:49 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
Tell him to up the dosage next time.

smoking blunt 10-29-2007 09:50 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
This guy deserves his ass beat, he is a rapist. If she didnt wake up she would probably be pregnant right now.

God damn I cant believe the stupid people in this forum. How would you guys feel if your girlfriend or sister got raped or attempted to be raped?

Girls don't make up stuff like this unless they have proven to be compulsive liars.

[/ QUOTE ]

just deserves a LOL

have u yet to realize how crazy ALL broads in this world are?

Hopey 10-29-2007 09:57 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
No we dated for a month then figured out we were pobably better sa friends for now. It was still up in the air whether or not we would get back together. I do know that she was not on the market. We went way too fast at the beginning of our relationship, and decided we needed some space before continuing.

[/ QUOTE ]

Cliff's notes: "She dumped me because I got too clingy".

[ QUOTE ]

Before this, I thought of him as a decent guy. Was never really suspicious of him. I will get his side of the story before I really do anything major.

[/ QUOTE ]

Cliff's notes: If I defend her honour, maybe she'll take me back!

[ QUOTE ]

Right now my job is to keep her stable.

[/ QUOTE ]

No, it's not.

Hopey 10-29-2007 09:59 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This guy deserves his ass beat, he is a rapist. If she didnt wake up she would probably be pregnant right now.

God damn I cant believe the stupid people in this forum. How would you guys feel if your girlfriend or sister got raped or attempted to be raped?

Girls don't make up stuff like this unless they have proven to be compulsive liars.

[/ QUOTE ]

just deserves a LOL

have u yet to realize how crazy ALL broads in this world are?

[/ QUOTE ]

Besides, maybe she completely mistook what he was doing as attempted rape? Perhaps he just hoping for a huggle?

Iconoclastic 10-29-2007 10:58 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
Obvious play is a threesome.

RoundGuy 10-29-2007 11:58 AM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
[ QUOTE ]
Tell him to up the dosage next time.

[/ QUOTE ]
This is just SICK!





I came.

JereLock 10-29-2007 01:23 PM

Re: VERY serious friend related situation
 
rofl

lose that ho, you don't owe her anything... tell her to higher a lawyer or shut it
stop trying to win her back by playing big brother, doesn't work.


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