I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

Well, this may be hard to believe but every bit of this story is true.

I'm walking on South Beach, Lincoln Road with my best pal Mike and like usual we're hitting on chicks. So, I find a pair of very beautiful girls walking out of an expensive cloting store, one of them is very tall if model looking. So I approach both of them and use my usual line "Excuse me, I heard chicks go to South Beach to pick up guys, is that true?"-- at which point the model one said, "Ughhh No, Bye!" and then I asked, "Well, in that case, where do girls go".. and which point she was very beligerant and said "you guy's are sooo not funny". This is when my pal gives the usual line we use when chicks reject us... "hey Vlad, don't worry, those girls are Lesbians anyway" and I say "you're right Mike, they are lesbians, high five!". Then the two girls said, you both are going to get your asses kicked. About 1 minute later the girls approach this cheap yellow Dodge Charger on the street, and the model one says "those two guys called us lesbians"-- at which point the car pulled over into a parking lot... AND..... Hulk Hogan, who's over 6 feet tall and BUFF AS [censored], wearing a tank top, and bandana around his head like always, with his blonde mustache gets out of the car with his son getting outta the passanger side, and said "WHY DID YOU CALL MY DAUGTHER A LESBIAN... I'm going to stick your head up your friend's ass, [censored] and if I see you here again, i'm going to kill you". I was [censored] terrified, but i knew in the back of my mind he cant [censored] me up cuz hes a celebrity, we apologized and walked away, and then we were liek DUDE... WE ALMOST GOT OUR ASS KICKED BY HULK HOGAN... AWESOME!!!

http://www.hollywoodrag.com/images/u...er_bash1th.jpg

Thats the chick we called a lesbian [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

You should have been honest, and then sued him for assault when you come out of your coma. That would have been sweet. I've seen parts of his weak reality show and he seems like an over-protective prick. Seems like his daughter learned well, too.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

Why didn't you ask for a picture and autograph?

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r...oul_flag_2.jpg

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

I dont know Vlad personally, but I talk toh im from time to time.. and It seems unlikly to me that he would make this story up.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

pickup lines? wtf

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

I would have needled the big goon and then sued his ass after he busted me in two.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
So I approach both of them and use my usual line "Excuse me, I heard chicks go to South Beach to pick up guys, is that true.


[/ QUOTE ]

The instant I read this line, these guys popped into my head.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...ldandcrazy.jpg


Your later lines only reinforced the image.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
my usual line "Excuse me, I heard chicks go to South Beach to pick up guys, is that true?"

[/ QUOTE ]

lol

[ QUOTE ]
usual line we use when chicks reject us... "hey Vlad, don't worry, those girls are Lesbians anyway and I say "you're right Mike, they are lesbians, high five!"

[/ QUOTE ]

lol

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

WHO IS THIS YOUNG MAN? AND WHY IS HE BOTHERING BROOKE HOGAN? THESE AWFUL PICKUP LINES MAY WORK IN SOVIET RUSSIA, KING, BUT NOT IN THE GOOD 'OLE U.S. OF A.!

MY GAWD! HE CALLED HER A LESBIAN! THIS IS HEINOUS! SOMEBODY STOP THIS. THIS MAN IS JUST SICK. BROOKE HOGAN HAS A FAMILY, DAMMIT!

WAIT! WHAT'S THAT MUSIC?

http://www.ecst.csuchico.edu/~markro/images/hulk2.jpg

MY GAWD! ITS THE IMMORTAL HULK HOGAN!

http://sportsmedia.ign.com/sports/im...1022156353.jpg

BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP! THIS YOUNG MAN IS RUNNING LIKE A SCALDED DOG!

http://sportsmedia.ign.com/sports/im...1022156947.jpg

MY GAWD! THE CARNAGE!

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

HH: I'm going to kill you!!!!
Me: with your devastating legdrop or your weak-ass clothesline?

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
WHO IS THIS YOUNG MAN? AND WHY IS HE BOTHERING BROOKE HOGAN? THESE AWFUL PICKUP LINES MAY WORK IN SOVIET RUSSIA, KING, BUT NOT IN THE GOOD 'OLE U.S. OF A.!

MY GAWD! HE CALLED HER A LESBIAN! THIS IS HEINOUS! SOMEBODY STOP THIS. THIS MAN IS JUST SICK. BROOKE HOGAN HAS A FAMILY, DAMMIT!

WAIT! WHAT'S THAT MUSIC?

http://www.ecst.csuchico.edu/~markro/images/hulk2.jpg

MY GAWD! ITS THE IMMORTAL HULK HOGAN!

http://sportsmedia.ign.com/sports/im...1022156353.jpg

BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP! THIS YOUNG MAN IS RUNNING LIKE A SCALDED DOG!

http://sportsmedia.ign.com/sports/im...1022156947.jpg

MY GAWD! THE CARNAGE!

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL!!!

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

Will you appear on "Hogan knows best"?

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

s,

"I would have needled the big goon and then sued his ass after he busted me in two."

Definitely. Hogan seems like a good person to do this with. Big and aggro enough to hurt you and very believable that he hurt you, but not psycho like Tyson who very likely might just kill you. Plus you hopefully have the VH1 Hogan cameras filming it all!

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
WHO IS THIS YOUNG MAN? AND WHY IS HE BOTHERING BROOKE HOGAN? THESE AWFUL PICKUP LINES MAY WORK IN SOVIET RUSSIA, KING, BUT NOT IN THE GOOD 'OLE U.S. OF A.!

MY GAWD! HE CALLED HER A LESBIAN! THIS IS HEINOUS! SOMEBODY STOP THIS. THIS MAN IS JUST SICK. BROOKE HOGAN HAS A FAMILY, DAMMIT!

WAIT! WHAT'S THAT MUSIC?

http://www.ecst.csuchico.edu/~markro/images/hulk2.jpg

MY GAWD! ITS THE IMMORTAL HULK HOGAN!

http://sportsmedia.ign.com/sports/im...1022156353.jpg

BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP! THIS YOUNG MAN IS RUNNING LIKE A SCALDED DOG!

http://sportsmedia.ign.com/sports/im...1022156947.jpg

MY GAWD! THE CARNAGE!

[/ QUOTE ]

ahhhhhhhhhhh soooo classic.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

no i dont think we got filmed...but damn that would have been great! haha

yea in hindsight maybe i should have made him beat my ass then sued... but i dunno if i wanna go thru comas and sipping food thru straws for months.

this was all true, no point for me to make this up. his family lives around here in miami beach. I had no idea it was Brooke because i dont watch that garbage on tv.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

Best use of Jim Ross gimmic account ever

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
Best use of Jim Ross gimmic account ever

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree. nh sir.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
WHO IS THIS YOUNG MAN? AND WHY IS HE BOTHERING BROOKE HOGAN? THESE AWFUL PICKUP LINES MAY WORK IN SOVIET RUSSIA, KING, BUT NOT IN THE GOOD 'OLE U.S. OF A.!

MY GAWD! HE CALLED HER A LESBIAN! THIS IS HEINOUS! SOMEBODY STOP THIS. THIS MAN IS JUST SICK. BROOKE HOGAN HAS A FAMILY, DAMMIT!

WAIT! WHAT'S THAT MUSIC?

http://www.ecst.csuchico.edu/~markro/images/hulk2.jpg

MY GAWD! ITS THE IMMORTAL HULK HOGAN!

http://sportsmedia.ign.com/sports/im...1022156353.jpg

BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP! THIS YOUNG MAN IS RUNNING LIKE A SCALDED DOG!

http://sportsmedia.ign.com/sports/im...1022156947.jpg

MY GAWD! THE CARNAGE!

[/ QUOTE ]

Holy crap - That's my new favorite gimmick acocunt.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

You can't really be this lame.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
You can't really be this lame.

[/ QUOTE ]

he is:/

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
You can't really be this lame.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://img352.imageshack.us/img352/603/theone4xc.png

This is Vlad and his crew from a few months ago. Vlad is 3rd from left.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You can't really be this lame.

[/ QUOTE ]

he is:/

[/ QUOTE ] [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You can't really be this lame.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://img352.imageshack.us/img352/603/theone4xc.png

This is Vlad and his crew from a few months ago. Vlad is 3rd from left.

[/ QUOTE ]

over the weekend, i pondered the effects on this crew of the release of Heineken Light

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You can't really be this lame.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://img352.imageshack.us/img352/603/theone4xc.png

This is Vlad and his crew from a few months ago. Vlad is 3rd from left.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm an old guy and out of touch. Do all the cool kids nowadays sport that same hair cut/glazed eyes look?

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

You should have said, "Step off, Terry."

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

Let me get this straight: a guy from that picture was calling somebody gay?

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
Let me get this straight: a guy from that picture was calling somebody gay?

[/ QUOTE ]

you can't possibly be this clueless can you?

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

http://myspace-457.vo.llnwd.net/0145...54842457_l.jpg

that is me.. very close resemblence though [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

ahahaha

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://myspace-457.vo.llnwd.net/0145...54842457_l.jpg

that is me.. very close resemblence though [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

i laughed, i cried, i laughed much more

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

Lexus RX is so not balla.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

Any chance you'd consider trying that move with this dude's daughter?

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/oj/art/synp.jpg

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

For such a short threat. This is really great.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You can't really be this lame.

[/ QUOTE ]

http://img352.imageshack.us/img352/603/theone4xc.png

This is Vlad and his crew from a few months ago. Vlad is 3rd from left.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm an old guy and out of touch. Do all the cool kids nowadays sport that same hair cut/glazed eyes look?

[/ QUOTE ]

To answer your question: NO

the only reason they can get away with this look and still get laid is because of newer designer drugs that weren't available when we were younger.

Seriously... it might look good for TV.. but no chic is going out with a guy that couldn't protect her from a 140 pound crack addict.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
http://myspace-457.vo.llnwd.net/0145...54842457_l.jpg

that is me.. very close resemblence though [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

How to chicks react when they discover your Simpsons' hands?

http://www.simpsons-fc.de/gfx/head_03.gif

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

I've got a great story about an encounter with Jesse Ventura from about three years ago. When I have a little time (and a solid Internet connection) I'll write it up. Don't let me forget!

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
Lexus RX is so not balla.

[/ QUOTE ]

it is if you got kids!

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Lexus RX is so not balla.

[/ QUOTE ]

it is if you got kids!

[/ QUOTE ]

No its not. Maybe for your baby's mama to haul the kids around. But you don't take pictures with it. You take pictures with the sports car that you bought yourself cause you bought the baby mamma an RX.

Re: I almost got my ass kicked by HULK HOGAN last night
 

[ QUOTE ]

Well, this may be hard to believe but every bit of this story is true.

[/ QUOTE ]

Usually this line is followed by, "So my best friend's uncle's cousin's neighbor's mailman's daughter is a nurse and told me this happened..." and a story about a gerbil and Richard Gere.