every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
i got wrecked last night playing live 30/60 limit hold'em. it inspired me to write the following in my blog.
The action of any poker hand is like a conversation. By checking, betting, calling, raising or folding, each player is making a statement. What that statement is often depends on many things; what the player holds, what the previous action was, what the player thinks his opponents have, etc. But it also depends greatly on who the player is. Two players may play the same hand the same way but for two completely different reasons. For example, two good players may play the following hand (what the player is likely stating with their action will be in italics): preflop utg folds my hand sucks, utg1 raises i like my hand, 2 more folds this dealer is kill me all the days, button 3bets i care not that you are fond of your holding my friend, blinds fold these hands suck, initial raiser now 4bets i have a big one my good man and i ain't scared of you at all, so thank you for 3betting button calls [censored], i just have two jacks. i hope it comes AQ9 so I can fold this hand. flop: 833r utg1 bets i still got your ass, button calls this really sucks. i hope a jack comes. turn: A utg1 bets i am not worried that you have an ace in your hand, button folds thank god, now i beat nothing and can safely fold. From a poker perspective, this is a reasonable dialogue that any skilled player could see unfolding given the way the hand played out. With many very bad players, however, the conversation becomes significantly more vague, and often utterly absurd, not unlike listening to a blithering Ronald Reagan during his twilight years. I witnessed a few interesting chats this evening at my local card establishment. I have attempted to translate for you what these players are most likely saying with their actions given their hands, what they think about their opponent's actions up to this point, and what they think their opponents have. preflop I raise UTG with two black jacks i have a good hand and i know you guys will call and put in money bad here, utg1 coldcalls hey look, i have A5o, if an ace comes, i'll have a pair of aces. yippee. utg2 coldcalls i am wearing sunglasses and was born with a silver spoon up my ass, thus i can call with whatever random shitbox i have, mp1 coldcalls i also am wearing sunglasses, and have A7o. i have been playing for months, and have yet to figure out that when one calls with a [censored] ace like this, one often loses a big pot when the other guy has AK, or wins a small pit when he check/folds the turn with two tens. i also repeatedly burn my hands on the stovetop, for I have yet to figure out that it is really [censored] hot, BB calls pot odds flop: Q[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]8[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]6[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] BB checks i don't have anything, I bet i have two jacks and i don't think you idiots have anything utg1 calls sometimes i forget to feed my gerbil and he dies. his name is stanley. utg2 folds my hand sucks, mp1 calls i sometimes wet my bed. turn: (3 players) A[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] I bet no way you guys are dumb enough to have an ace here, and none of you raised the flop so you can't have a Qutg1 calls i wish i could talk to birds mp1 raises (blank stare) i fold wow you really are that dumb. god i hate losing to these [censored], utg1 calls if i could fly like birds, i'd fly high. river: 2 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] utg1 checks i like trains mp checks hooked on phonics is hard One other hand I saw may be one of the more hilarious I have seen in quite some time. preflop utg raises i have a good hand, mp coldcalls i have 2 cards, mp1 coldcalls i have 66, blinds fold we have nothing flop T[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]T[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]2[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] utg bets my A[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]J[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] is the best hand, mp calls holy [censored], i called with T[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]2[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] and it come TT2, better make some sloooowplay mp1 raises i have the best hand, utg calls ok, i know i'm behind, mp calls on tuesdays Veronica takes me to the park turn: 3[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] putting two clubs on the board utg checks awesome, now i have a flush draw and two overcards, mp checks (more blank staring, now with mouth 1/2 open) mp1 bets if i had the best hand on the flop, i gotta still have the best hand. this is the last bet i'm putting into this pot utg calls i sure hope a club comes mp calls what? river: 4[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] utg checks i'm gonna check raise. i called the flop raise because i didn't think he had a T, for if he did i could never call that flop as i have absolutely nothing. but now since it is what i want him to have, i'm gonna change my mind and assume he does indeed have a T and will bet it on the river. mp checks up to this point in the hand, every decision i have made was in the incorrect one. why on earth would I suddenly play good now? mp1 checks nothing i beat calls. In my last 200 hours of play in this game, I am in the red. Wow. |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
pbob = solid gold
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
i shall translate for you: tl;dr
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
so rigged
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
hahahaha n1
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
[ QUOTE ]
i shall translate for you: tl;dr [/ QUOTE ] insulting me in this thread is acceptable and even encouraged. however, obvious, simplistic, pedestrian flamings that lack an ounce of creativity and indicate a clear lack of grey matter on the part of the poster, are strictly prohibited. your post fits this description perfectly, thus, ban. |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
I enjoyed it.
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
[ QUOTE ]
utg folds my hand sucks [/ QUOTE ] Wrong. Even good LAG players have to fold AA utg every so often to avoid being readable. |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
maybe it's the effect of having spent the last 11 hours at work, but hand 2 literally had me loling.
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
The last hand was pretty funny, I love the part where "he has the T because this is what I want him to have"
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
pretty brilliant
river looks like an instadonk to me against two fishies |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
ah yes the last hand was the best by far. I missed that.
awesome |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
i don't get it
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
hating on pbob is played out.
however, this is a blatant rip-off of a post in schneids blog from 2006. Just fyi. |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
High Larious.
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
[ QUOTE ]
hating on pbob is played out. however, this is a blatant rip-off of a post in schneids blog from 2006. Just fyi. [/ QUOTE ] it can only be a rip-off if i have read that schneids blog, and i have not. |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
this was really really funny, i've been giggling for 5 minutes straight
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] hating on pbob is played out. however, this is a blatant rip-off of a post in schneids blog from 2006. Just fyi. [/ QUOTE ] it can only be a rip-off if i have read that schneids blog, and i have not. [/ QUOTE ] Huh? But I thought you knew him? |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] hating on pbob is played out. however, this is a blatant rip-off of a post in schneids blog from 2006. Just fyi. [/ QUOTE ] it can only be a rip-off if i have read that schneids blog, and i have not. [/ QUOTE ] Huh? But I thought you knew him? [/ QUOTE ] that is merely a bbv rumor. |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
lol, nice post bob. To bad its funniness will be lost on the "lol, raise more on the flop" BBV retardedness
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
This is good, but is it really worth BluffThis! posting again?
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
[ QUOTE ]
lol, nice post bob. To bad its funniness will be lost on the "lol, raise more on the flop" BBV retardedness [/ QUOTE ] by suggesting that it could be 'lost' on these people suggests that at one point they had 'found' it. i think we both know that is not the case with those dolts. |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
I thought it was gonna be tl;dr but when I finally read it I chuckled. Nice one PB!
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
anyone who has played live limit extensively (beat) can relate to this. Sometimes when the hands are turned up at showdown i sit there in shock with the ivey-tilleyments face
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
This is top 5 pokerbob stories/blogs/posts/whatever for sure.
Kels (gf) told me to simmer down I was laughing too hard. I told her to read it. Now she's laughing out loud. in her face. |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
bob yes
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
POKERBOB!
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
Fantastic.
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
I approve of this post.
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
PB--
You know I usually don't like your BBV posts. Nice post, dude. --Nate |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
This is exactly how i feel everytime I leave a cardroom, except i usually hate mankind a bit more. Best pbob post in a very very long time too.
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
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i shall translate for you: tl;dr [/ QUOTE ] Knuckle-dragger. Brilliant OP. |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
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Best pbob post in a very very long time too. [/ QUOTE ] I think most felt this one was better. |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
[ QUOTE ]
flop: Q[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]8[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]6[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] BB checks i don't have anything, I bet i have two jacks and i don't think you idiots have anything utg1 calls sometimes i forget to feed my gerbil and he dies. his name is stanley. utg2 folds my hand sucks, mp1 calls i sometimes wet my bed. turn: (3 players) A[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] I bet no way you guys are dumb enough to have an ace here, and none of you raised the flop so you can't have a Qutg1 calls i wish i could talk to birds mp1 raises (blank stare) i fold wow you really are that dumb. god i hate losing to these [censored], utg1 calls if i could fly like birds, i'd fly high. river: 2 [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] utg1 checks i like trains mp checks hooked on phonics is hard [/ QUOTE ] wowowow this is so good, why aren't all your posts this good? |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
lol good read
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] Best pbob post in a very very long time too. [/ QUOTE ] I think most felt this one was better. [/ QUOTE ] nope. That post is like just a bunch of examples of stuff i see everytime I go to a cardroom and sigh about when I read someone on here complaining that it happened to them once. Making fun of retards though processes is much more entertaining imo. |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] i shall translate for you: tl;dr [/ QUOTE ] insulting me in this thread is acceptable and even encouraged. however, obvious, simplistic, pedestrian flamings that lack an ounce of creativity and indicate a clear lack of grey matter on the part of the poster, are strictly prohibited. your post fits this description perfectly, thus, ban. [/ QUOTE ] agreed |
Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
bob, you'd easily have the best poker blog if you'd update more often
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Re: every hand is a little conversation. i shall translate for you.
haha A+
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