Two Plus Two Newer Archives - Trip Report: Jail

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Trip Report: Jail

Backstory: Three years ago I was living in Boulder, Co get pulled over with no proof of up to date insurance, miss my court date b/c I was in Spain with soccer team and couldn't reschedule. Result: a warrant for my arrest and $250 bond, I am unaware of this.

Fast forward to Monday night (yesterday) 8:00pm: drive to store to get goodies for standard 2/4 session, (+10k over last two days runnning liquid hot) notice a cop pulling a decent looking girl in an SUV over in the parking lot i pull up at. Get goodies get back in car make a left turn back onto main street and see the same cop waiting at the light across from me.

Don't think much of it, don't really look in rear view mirror until I'm approaching turn for my downtown Denver apt. and see popo riding my ass. Change lanes calmly to get ready to turn, he calls, then flips his lights and speeds up behind me real quick. Interesting move, I pull over 20 feet from apartment, he runs standard routine, asks why I have Washington plates in Colorado, I say b/c my car is registered in Washington, he takes my license and says brb... there's a chick cop with him too. 10 minutes later he returns, asks me to step out, I abide and he immediately slaps on the cuffs telling me I have a warrant for my arrest. No rights read.

I sit in back of cop car while main cop and backup cop, not girl, laugh about something and we're off to the slammer.

9:00pm Downtown Denver Police Station: after reaching the station the main cop moves me to a 5x5 holding tank with a single cuff bolted into a steel bench. I have on a tshirt jeans and flip flops haven't showered yet and it's about 55 degrees. I get cuffed in the door is locked and main cop mumbles something about 30 minutes, I ask if I can post bond with a Visa he says he'll check on it.

Young Mexican dude gets brought in and put into cell two tanks down. When either of us move the cuff clangs loudly on the steel bench other than that and occasional footsteps it's very silent.

An hour later main cop returns with friend and me and mexico get uncuffed, recuffed and then shuffle to a dimly lit garage like room that opens to an elevator. It's cold. Third cop enters room takes some information, then fourth cop tells Mexico to spread 'em and pats him down, I'm next. Fourth cop asks if I have anything else in my pockets (third time I've been asked and searched) I say no (honesty). Fourth cop does a quick pat down, checks out my main front pockets, the 'fifth' pocket, then back pocket where he pulls out an empty one inch by one inch zip baggy that used to hold cocaine and drops it on the floor. [censored]. Four sets of eyes give me the up and down and Mexico glances sympathetically. [censored]. Detour.

Still cuffed I'm led back to initial holding room while being commented on that my eyes are very dilated (for the first time). I've just been in a dark room for ten minutes and I'm not on anything, haven't taken anything for at least weeks, and only occasionaly party extremely hard. Things aren't looking very good.

Take a left at the initial holding room into another room where I meet Fred?, special drug enforcement representative. Fred too comments on how dialated my pupils are whips out a pupil measurer, yes, and takes my pulse which reads 112 which he thinks is high. I say I'm nervous. He says we'll see. As Fred and I walk across the room another cop asks me if I know it's a felony to 'introduce (illegal things) to the station knowingly' I say no. ... Fred runs me through a series of tests. He tells me to lean my head back, close my eyes, and tell him when thirty seconds have passed. I'm over by one second. I toe the line nine steps do a 180 nines step back counting out loud... flying colors imo. Next I lift up one leg and do thirty squats again counting out loud. My leg is shaking visibly, Fred comments on that, I explain I used to play soccer until I blew out my knee, had two major career ending surgeries which include 1.25 years of rehab, of which I'm at the tail end of (true story) and currently have weak legs. He seems to buy this and has heard of the team I played for. +1 Reup. Fred takes my pulse again which reads 88, standard, and he tells me I'm not getting booked for the yay explains how I smell bad and tells me that I'm skinny. Fred leads me back to the elevator room which leads to the city jail....

10:30pm: City Jail.

The elevator has two partitions separted by a steel grate the front for the guy with the gun, the back for the guy in the handcuffs. Me and mexico #2 (new guy) take the back. The elevator bottoms out and we proceed fairly quickly to the opening initial room at City Jail.

The room reminds me of the MoneyMart in Rounders where Mat Damon cashes his check before going hu with Teddy KGB. Flourescent and old. Five cops sitting and bullshtting await us and make a few condescending comments as mugshots and infrared fingerprinting happen. We proceed to a large holding tank with 6 or 7 collect call phones and reunite with mexico #1 who tells me he put the cop in a headlock before he got arrested. #1 elaborates about the booking process in general and tells me his girl is pregnant. We shoot the shtt for about a half hour, mexico #2 who can't speak english and is drunk is moving from phone to phone aimlessly and random homeless guy is sleeping with arms folded across his chest on one of the benches.

I get booked where I post bond and ask how long I will be in jail using words like sir and thankyou. The cops have a distinct aire to them. Condescending and mightier than thou. Most look like they have a hard time getting laid unless they put a gun to the girls head. Bald and angry, though one guy specifically had a thick half-mullet and seemed to either masterbate a lot, or had just got done but wanted more. First impression anyway.

The end of the booking process went quick as I met with the house doctor who asked a few brief questions and told me good luck without ever looking me in the eye, which was followed by state of the art digital fingerprinting. I am booked.

Midnight: While I wait with Mexico #1 and 2 and random bum in the final holding cell, a small 8x10 room with a single bench, a forty year old scruffy guy smelling of alcohol enters. His face is badly bruised and he keeps messing with his hand which is cut up and bloody. He mutters a few incomprehensible things and falls asleep on the floor. A few minutes later an officer opens the sliding door and we proceed back to the elevator where the crew and I ascend to the main jail.

It's a little after Midnight and after a slight holdup we are each handed a blanket made by a company owned by Bob Barker whose son died in jail, which I hear about later. After a few minutes an officer opens up the door to my cell, #16.

The cell is about ten feet deep eight feet wide and holds two occupied metal beds, bunk style, with a steel toilet and sink adjacent. The mirror above the sink is scratched out but I don't feel like looking at myself at this time. Bottom bunk inmate wakes up and offers me a plastic mattress. I accept and slide it over to the wall at the base of the toilet, the only space available. With back against the wall and blanket in hand I sit on the mattress and reevaluate my current situation... Bottom bunk inmate chimes in with standard opening remarks. We start talking. "Failure to appear?" he says, "Yeah, I understand". He seems reasonable and the conversation continues. Sean, I learn, is an ex-crack addict who joined the army in May 2003 due to boredom and served a year in Iraq as a cook, among other things, until his duty was up and came home. He lives with his Mom and Dad, carries knives regularly, and is trying to get a license to carry a silenced weapon, he also deals drugs. We talk about life and girls for the next four hours. Sean was based in Tikrit (Saddam's hometown) did need to 'unload' his weapon as well as grenades, (as I framed the question) and has a strange cough now he explains is due to inhaling mustard gas while on duty. He recommends a movie that has something to do with philosophies about life and we laugh at topbunk cellmate #2 who is talking in his sleep about eating Denny's which brings up the topic of Prison food. I get bored a few times but the conversation continues remarkably easily and four hours pass quickly +1. It's breakfast time.

4:00am Breakfast:

The gates slide open simultaneously and 18 to 20 super degens I included shuffle out for chowtime. Five four seat minisized tables have been set out and food is awaiting us, fabulous. **In elementary school, if you went and ate lunch at a public school you probably remember the serving trays** .... These were a little worse. Blue plastic and scratched but you don't eat the tray right, what's on the tray? Let's see.. two hardboiled eggs, mkay, two pieces of non toasted toast, hmmm, a section of grits with a film on top much like how old soup can get. Interesting. I actually wasn't very hungry so I chose the non toasted toast for an appetizer/quasi meal and gave my hard boiled eggs and milk away for good karma.

Breakfast lasted about 15 minutes and soon we were shuffled back home for more of the 22/24 hour lockdown that is standard at the Denver city jail. Sean and I agreed we'd try and get some sleep. Lights out, err lights on actually as there is no access to the light switch or any actual light switch in the room but hey it's still dark outside anyway. I roll over, close my eyes and dream about my good karma.

Two minutes later: Success! Door to Cell #16 slides open and Breakfast overseeing officer calls out my name. "You're getting processed kid, follow me," he says. "You don't let people leave hungry do you," I reply. He looks at me perplexed then remembers I'm not human and resumes a blank stare. Sean and I say our goodbyes and promise to keep in touch (true story). I'm outta here.

Back to the elevator and down to the ground floor, a few quick signatures, my personal items back in hand and I'm a free man again. Goodbye Jail, I'll remember you well, but after all it was a just a trip.

--Reup

Re: Trip Report: Jail

[ QUOTE ]
Cliffnotes?

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jail, gnarliness

Probably one of the only 1000+ word BBV stories worth reading the whole thing though, I found it pretty rad, I'm glad your out bro.

Post deleted by Mat Sklansky

Re: Trip Report: Jail

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I spent 3 months in jail and my story isn't as long as this.

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TR damn

Re: Trip Report: Jail

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the 'fifth' pocket

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This prison talk?

Re: Trip Report: Jail

Should have hired a lawyer.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

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Crime doesn't pay

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he got a free breakfast

Re: Trip Report: Jail

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two pieces of non toasted toast
--Reup

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We call this bread.

Good post. Did you have to pay at this time, or is another court case set up?

Re: Trip Report: Jail

was a good story man.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

do you think the respectful way you spoke to the police officers had anything to do with them dropping the drugs charge?

Re: Trip Report: Jail

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was a good story man.

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Re: Trip Report: Jail

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Bald and angry, though one guy specifically had a thick half-mullet and seemed to either masterbate a lot, or had just got done but wanted more. First impression anyway.

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Good read.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

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was a good story man.

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i read every word...i wouldnt read again but it was a pretty good read

my question was also how could you not have called lawyer??? no way you spend a night if a lawyer shows up

Re: Trip Report: Jail

Gave in and skimmed the story. No miranda rights read stuck out the most. If you got charged with anything it woulda been dropped based on that fact alone.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

I posted bail which ended up being around $330 which I think they overestimated a little and court is Dec. 6 where the initial 'failure to appear' will be resolved.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

fyi if you dont pay tickets or appear in court, you will get a warrant and go to jail

Re: Trip Report: Jail

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Gave in and skimmed the story. No miranda rights read stuck out the most. If you got charged with anything it woulda been dropped based on that fact alone.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thx for the effort hu for rollz?

Re: Trip Report: Jail

btw you should NOT have let that cop search you. Just say SEND ME MY LAWYER FOOL and they have to comply by the constitution. Its hilarious how you kids dont know your rights and just roll over and let the pigs put their fingers in yr fifth pocket without a writ of habeas corpus and a order from the governor.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

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was a good story man.

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and i HATE reading long [censored]

Re: Trip Report: Jail

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Gave in and skimmed the story. No miranda rights read stuck out the most. If you got charged with anything it woulda been dropped based on that fact alone.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thx for the effort hu for rollz?

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Live? Any day of the week. Online? Don't have time to take 75% of your Blinds while you occasionally pop back with a primo and take them all back. Rinse and repeat until someone gets cold decked.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

They can't search your person once you're already arrested???

Re: Trip Report: Jail

that awesome gourmet breakfast makes me want to spend some time in the slammer.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
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Gave in and skimmed the story. No miranda rights read stuck out the most. If you got charged with anything it woulda been dropped based on that fact alone.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thx for the effort hu for rollz?

[/ QUOTE ]

Live? Any day of the week. Online? Don't have time to take 75% of your Blinds while you occasionally pop back with a primo and take them all back. Rinse and repeat until someone gets cold decked.

[/ QUOTE ]

You'd be scared of me live I've been to jail.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

A+, would read again. FYI if you're ever in Vail/Aspen, PM me, I live in Glenwood Springs.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

[ QUOTE ]
btw you should NOT have let that cop search you. Just say SEND ME MY LAWYER FOOL and they have to comply by the constitution. Its hilarious how you kids dont know your rights and just roll over and let the pigs put their fingers in yr fifth pocket without a writ of habeas corpus and a order from the governor.

[/ QUOTE ]

Haha I think your joking but if not your a little off. They can search you after they arrest you. Btw habeas corpus has nothing to do with getting searched.

Anyways I worked at the public defenders office and you should of definitly gotten out without spending the night. City jail really really sucks, not that prison is any better but at least you get to go outside there. I worked on a guys case who had to spend a whole year in city jail waiting for his trial and he was on the verge of killing himself before we got him out.

Moral of the story is pay your tickets and dont go to jail.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

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do you think the respectful way you spoke to the police officers had anything to do with them dropping the drugs charge?

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My interaction with all law enforcement always includes my using the most respectful tones and wording possible despite what I think of my own guilt or innocence in the particular situation. Trust me; this approach is very +EV.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

And to launch a preemptive strike against the libertarian douches who would have a hissyfit at using the word sir or ma'am when dealing with a police officer; you can be extremely respectful and deferrent WTHOUT forfeiting your rights.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
do you think the respectful way you spoke to the police officers had anything to do with them dropping the drugs charge?

[/ QUOTE ]

My interaction with all law enforcement always includes my using the most respectful tones and wording possible despite what I think of my own guilt or innocence in the particular situation. Trust me; this approach is very +EV.

[/ QUOTE ]

The fact that there were no drugs and he passed the drug test is why he didn't get charged. A decent lawyer is going to get him off an empty bag charge, so the paperwork is a waste of effort.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

From my experience speaking to cops with respect is wwwaaaaayyyyy more likely to lessen the pain. Seen too many people get all cocky and [censored] with the fuzz and have a minor disturbing the peace get turned into that plus resistance to arrest, assault on an officer, etc. when a simple yes Sir I understand would have gotten them off.

Re: Trip Report: Jail

Just curious, if u just ignored the cops lights and pulled into a closed garage in your apt, is there [censored] the cop could do?

Re: Trip Report: Jail

B+, please clarify what the mysterious fifth pocket is.