Someone please help me
 

I am very upset right now. Is anyone here who can help me calm down and deal with a creepy poster who is sending me mean and disgusting PMs?

Maybe I'm over-reacting. I tend to be paranoid about the internet. Can someone please tell me if I'm over-reacting?

Is this common to get vile PMs from posters once you become a mod? I'm not liking it too much.

Re: Someone please help me
 

it is because you are a girl

Re: Someone please help me
 

post pms and then ban him

Re: Someone please help me
 

I don't think it's common at all.

Feel free to forward me the PMs if you need a second-opinion.

Re: Someone please help me
 

1) you're now showing up in normal brown/orange nonsense for me =(

2) depending on the level of creepy/disgusting:
a) tell them to stop
b) tell mat and ryan
c) permanently ban them from the site
d) contact law enforcement

I don't konw of any reason why you would get these special PMs specially since becoming a mod, or why you would want to not tell the rest of the mod community of the poster's identity, but whatever. I'd be more than happy to help you out in any way I can.

Re: Someone please help me
 

his identity is JJNJUSTIN.

he was a very casual forum friend. we exchanged PMs only occasionally and almost always about food or recipes. He used to send me recipes. The other day he asked me where I live. We hadn't spoken in awhile. He called us buddies.



Tonight, out of the clear blue, he asked me out. I was freaked out cuz i do not lead this guy on but i compliment his recipes or his threads. he likes to start threads. He seems to have some kind of strange social disorder.


Him: I would like to go out with you.

Me: - lol, are you drunk? I am in a relationship. I'm sure you know that.


To this he sends an inappropriate PM.

Then, following 3 more PMs that I haven't opened up.

katy likes anal
maybe katy doesn't like anal
my sweet purple patoonya

please don't laugh. i think this guy is a loon. I dont want to see what's in his PMs.

Re: Someone please help me
 

You aren't overreacting at all. That is completely over the line. He should be completely banned (all accounts permabanned).

Re: Someone please help me
 

ban him. You know how to get into his account settings and stuff?

Here are his notes.

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...Number=3943090
overt bigotry, consistently terrible posts.
Posted usual "Is this cheat program for real?" Then added to another "Is this cheat program for real?" thread a few months later. Kinda suspicious imo. MH/062406.

warning for posting stupd poll in Lounge B0 07/16 bitter

* pornographic link

he's a moron

PS. I didn't write the above - bitter

B1 - posting pic of a girl sapnking another girl in tl:dr 08/09 bitter

B1 removed as he's done some great posts 08/27 bitter

Title 'Foodie' given for his great food/drink posts in tldr - 08/27 bitter
||||
Title changed back to old hand because he continually posts automatic shufflers are rigged threads like this one:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showfl...e=0#Post7104461
||||

'Iron Chef Indian' gives for good Lounge food threads 10/20 bitter

3/9/07 removed reference to African-American lady as noting she was African-American added nothign to the discussion

Title changed from 'Iron Chef Indian' to 'A Losing Player' at his request 03/09 CARTER

3/10/07 "Dude you're a piece of garbage and your opinion means nothing to me." GIving a day off instead of a warning based on notes above. -RR

Re: Someone please help me
 

Here's why I find this awkward.

I defended him once. I said JJN, do not argue with those guys in ATF. You will get banned. I don't want you to get banned.

I stuck up for him. I was a forum friend. No more than that.

Now, I might be responsible for getting the stupid weirdo banned after I stuck up for him. I just don't want to get any more PMs from him.

I'm creeped out and wish I had never decided to mess around on the internet. I think this dude is sick in the head and yeah I felt compassion for him because at times he was lucid but now i think maybe he's wacked.

Why would you send a friend a mean and vile PM?

Re: Someone please help me
 

Jesus who has 500 words of user notes?

Re: Someone please help me
 

[ QUOTE ]
Here's why I find this awkward.

I defended him once. I said JJN, do not argue with those guys in ATF. You will get banned. I don't want you to get banned.

I stuck up for him. I was a forum friend. No more than that.

Now, I might be responsible for getting the stupid weirdo banned after I stuck up for him. I just don't want to get any more PMs from him.

I'm creeped out and wish I had never decided to mess around on the internet. I think this dude is sick in the head and yeah I felt compassion for him because at times he was lucid but now i think maybe he's wacked.

Why would you send a friend a mean and vile PM?

[/ QUOTE ]

I think he should be banned.

Either way the first thing you should do is put him on ignore. Then he can't send you PMs.

Re: Someone please help me
 

I don't want to be the one who bans him because you guys don't know how paranoid I am of the internet. I'm afraid he will track me down and murder me.

I would like an admin to send him a PM and tell him to never contact me because he was way over the line.

and if they feel like banning him then so be it but i don't want to be the one to do it cuz he will hate me. He knows i was always nice to him. He would not expect it of me. he is a very sad and lonely guy. and creepy.


I don't want to over-react cuz maybe there is nothing in the 3 PMs that I'm afraid to open.

Maybe there is only a recipe in the PM that says "katy likes anal". I just don't know [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

what should i do.

Guys can be stupid.

[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Re: Someone please help me
 

[ QUOTE ]



Either way the first thing you should do is put him on ignore. Then he can't send you PMs.

[/ QUOTE ]

ok i didn't think of this. I will do this right now. i'm a pathetic mod [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Re: Someone please help me
 

katy,

I think an admin should certainly step in and send a PM and ban. Your feeling of not wanting to take action given that it's happening to you is understandable, and an admin doing it would give it more weight.

If you trust me or anyone else with this, one option would be for you to send your password so that they can read the PMs. You could change it temporarily to something and then do it and later change it back so as not to give away your usual password.

Re: Someone please help me
 

Ok, i will do that. Thank you Jared and all of you guys for helping me think this out.

I tend to freak out pretty quickly. I'm really distrusting.

I will give mat or ryan my password. Actually, I always assumed they could read my PMs without it. I'm going to feel really stupid if they open them up and there is a recipe inside. hmmm. that would be embarrassing.


[img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] maybe i should just open them up and look? OH FOR GOD'S SAKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I'm so messed up.

I'm going to just look. How bad could they be?

Re: Someone please help me
 

katy,

Have you told him to stop? As much as Id love to ban him and pretty much beat the [censored] outa him, you do need to give him fair warning.

Re: Someone please help me
 

Well, apparently i was over reacting.


and now i feel stupid. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY. He's a social retard. I have put him on ignore. I don't think he should be banned. Hopefully my ignoring him will end it. I think he's a pathetic lonely guy who has no friends and is just incredibly inappropriate. I feel embarrassed.


this is what the 'katy likes anal' PM contained:

[ QUOTE ]
I hope he enjoyed all my recipes. If I find any more I'll send them to you, except for this new one for sweet and sour grapes, I'll just eat those myself

[/ QUOTE ]


this is what he said next in the 'maybe katy doesn't like anal' PM:


[ QUOTE ]
ya purple goof i'm just joshing with ya cause i'm bored. .

-J


[/ QUOTE ]

And then he said something about a 3-some.

Ok, let this be a lesson to all of us. katy is paranoid and this guy is just gross.

Re: Someone please help me
 

If he creates another account to pm you, he needs banning. Do not put up with it at all.

Re: Someone please help me
 

guy is really really weird. I feel bad for him, but in no way should you have to put up with that. Ban for a few days so he gets the message

Re: Someone please help me
 

I think its a bad idea to ban people who are screwing with you personally. I learned that the hard way when a ban I made got overturned. There is just no way to keep objective about it. If anyone bans this guy, it should be Carter.

Re: Someone please help me
 

[ QUOTE ]
I think its a bad idea to ban people who are screwing with you personally. I learned that the hard way when a ban I made got overturned. There is just no way to keep objective about it. If anyone bans this guy, it should be Carter.

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with the first bit, but why db? The ban isn't for posts in any forum. I think bans like this should only be made by admins.

Re: Someone please help me
 

I've advised Katy that next time, suspend whoever, and then turn the details over to Ryan, and request a ban from Ryan.

Re: Someone please help me
 

Is there not a way for reds to not allow users to send PM's at all? If you don't want to ban him this seems like a great compromise.

Re: Someone please help me
 

what ever [censored] this im banning that POS now

Re: Someone please help me
 

[ QUOTE ]
sending offensive PMs, multiple warning for poor posting ability

[/ QUOTE ]

Katy if you are going to be a mod I think you need to get comfortable with making these types of decisions on your own. if you're not able or willing to ban posters than you won't be able to effectively carry out the full duties of being a mod.

Re: Someone please help me
 

[ QUOTE ]
I think its a bad idea to ban people who are screwing with you personally.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's what I wasn't sure about. See, I just wasn't sure what to do in this situation and I didn't want to over react. Turns out he was joking around but being very sick in his approach.

I came on here looking for advice because a couple people had told me if I'm not sure at first then ask for help on the mod forum. Turns out I'm really great at giving suggestions when other people ask me for advice but when it comes to myself, different story.


I didn't want him to be denied the fun of the forums, I just wanted him to knock it the [censored] off and leave me alone. I'm a very private person. Why I couldn't have just told him that last night is beyond me. I'm disappointed with myself.

I want to thank everyone here for their advice. It was much appreciated.

Re: Someone please help me
 

[ QUOTE ]


Katy if you are going to be a mod I think you need to get comfortable with making these types of decisions on your own. if you're not able or willing to ban posters than you won't be able to effectively carry out the full duties of being a mod.

[/ QUOTE ]

[censored], I think you make a good point. I'm going to discuss this with Mat when he responds to my PM.

Re: Someone please help me
 

Katy,

JJN often creates long-winded posts in Psychology, with a common theme of attemping to predict others' playing styles by race, demographics, etc. He has admitted to being Bipolar, and as you correctly surmised, he appears to be a social retard.

I usually give him a fairly long leash in Psychology, because his posts often elicit significant interplay--even if I find these threads to be rather stupid. However, you do not need to be accepting abuse from him.

Dr. chess

Re: Someone please help me
 

Katy,

Now that I've read them, personally, I think he is only kind of kidding. This seems like stuff people write when they want it to look like they're kidding but they're actually angry and bitter. I'd still be very disturbed, and leave him blocked <u>at the very least</u>.

And Jeremy, lighten up. She's been a mod for about a minute and a half. We can't ALL start our modly tenure by raining down fire from the heavens. (Though it works well for some of you.)

Re: Someone please help me
 

Katy, Censored,

FWIW, it has been explained already that banning people for harassing you, etc, out of your forum, is unacceptable, and at all points what is supposed to be done is contact either the mod of the forum where the harassment occurs or the admins, and let them handle it, so that there's "never" bias/hotheadedness going in to the decision. What Katy did was perfectly acceptable, except that I think that since the admins were not online, it would have been fairly reasonable to either go with the ignore option, or a temporary banning, until the reds woke up and saw your messages.

c

Re: Someone please help me
 

Sounds like he got drunk, and maybe off his meds [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

I say stupid things like that to my husband when I'm drunk, too. "Felicia likes anal." Boy, do I regret that in the morning! [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]

Hope you're feeling better today. Modding can be interesing, to say the least.

Felicia [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Someone please help me
 

That guy is a nut. I think in a somewhat literal sense. I believe he's posted about some sort of disorder.

That said, he needs some banning. He's been a lousy, near-trollish poster for a long time.

That also said, if you're going to be a mod Katy, you'll need to get used to abuse/stupid PMs/whatever, especially because you're female. Not saying it's ok, and we should be nuking people who do it, but it will happen because that's what happens on the internet.

Re: Someone please help me
 

No excuse for this crap. This idiot needs a time-out and then a perma if he continues.

Katy,

The litmus test I use is if the PM was sent to one of your forum's best posters what punishment, if any, would you mete out.

Re: Someone please help me
 

[ QUOTE ]
I say stupid things like that to my husband when I'm drunk, too. "Felicia likes anal."

[/ QUOTE ]

You talk to you husband in the third person? [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]



[ QUOTE ]
Boy, do I regret that in the morning! [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]



[/ QUOTE ]

I assume that makes one of you. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

Re: Someone please help me
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I say stupid things like that to my husband when I'm drunk, too. "Felicia likes anal."

[/ QUOTE ]

][ QUOTE ]
You talk to you husband in the third person? [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]


I've never claimed I was sane.

[ QUOTE ]
Boy, do I regret that in the morning! [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]



[/ QUOTE ]

I assume that makes one of you. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]
I was hoping someone would get that one. Figures, would be the shrink!

Re: Someone please help me
 

Felicia Lee for president

Re: Someone please help me
 

[ QUOTE ]
Felicia Lee for Dictator for Life

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: Someone please help me
 

katy,

"I don't want to be the one who bans him because you guys don't know how paranoid I am of the internet. I'm afraid he will track me down and murder me."

This and other comments you made in the thread make it seem like you are genuininely disturbed by this stuff.

However, I just went to take a look at some of JJN's posts and saw this thread by you: "Ask the 2+2 Ladies Your Questions" with the following joke in the OP: "(unless of course it's about 3-somes and then we would be glad to answer ok I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"

Of course it is your right to post whatever you want and people shouldn't send you inappropriate stuff. However, given the effect that had on you, I think it's a big mistake of you to make threads like that drawing attention to yourself and making jokes like that. I also frankly think it's probably a mistake for you to be a mod and such an active participant in the Lounge and 2+2.

Re: Someone please help me
 

[ QUOTE ]
Felicia Lee for president

[/ QUOTE ]
You guys are silly. But thanks. I was just trying to use some comedy relief for Katy.

Odd that I don't get mod abuse. Then again, I'm not as nice as her. Plus I have a feeling most posters think I'm a guy. I remember back in 2003 when we had some kind of poll or something about if there were really any female posters on 2+2. It's amazing that guys really will not believe that some women really are women. Of course, in my case it's understandable [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

And now, to totally hijack this thread (sorry, Katy), this is a real life "stupid things I say when I'm drunk" post. Keeping in mind I never really drank alcohol until the end of 2004, lol, so I, um, experimented with different types. Vodka is goot!

You Know You Are Too Drunk When...

Re: Someone please help me
 

All,

I was drunk last night, shouldnt have banned jjnjustin. ill unban now and let admins decide