Irritating office yambags
 

What the hell are some people thinking? My current office is all of 5 people, yet two of those people do some of the most irritating [censored] I have every had to listen to.

Every day, one guy has a yogurt around 10:00. Not just any yogurt, though. A 'fruit-on-the-bottom' yogurt. His ritual goes something like this:

Open yogurt.
Begin mixing yogurt.....glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-
glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-glop-
glop-glop-glop.......at least 30-40 times.

After eating said yogurt, he CLIPS HIS FINGERNAILS AT HIS DESK. *clip*.....*clip-clip*...*clip*....*clip*....*clip*....



The other guy has only been here a couple/few weeks, but he's wasting little time making a run for most irritating officemate. He's a loud drinker/eater.

Hot coffee in the morning: Sluuuuuuuurp. Loud swallow. Loud exhale of 'ahhhhhhh'. Every flipping sip.
Any food whatsoever: Mouth open, smacking, audible swallowing, more smacking.



A: What are these people thinking?

and

B: Please tell me your office is worse.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

This is my strategy:

http://www.uhu.ch/images/etymotic_er4p_neu_klein.gif FTW

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

there's a guy that sits right by me that would listen to music on headphones and either:

- hum loudly
OR
- "play the drums" on his desk and/or belly

somehow it didn't bother anyone else (how the hell???). I kept telling him to stfu, knock it off, whenever he would do it - he's a nice kid and we're good work friends so I just say whatever I want. He would stop but then later that day or the next it would start up again. He said he couldn't help it. I just kept doing that for a while and now it's a lot better.

so I think you should just tell them to knock it off.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

I work with a guy who routinely mispronounces words and it drives me insane. I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, but it's probably the most irritating thing I've ever encountered in the workplace.

Examples:

Says Dee-ZEM-ber instead of December
Says ACK-a-ru-al (splitting into four syllables) instead of accrual
Will always ask for my John Hitchcock when he needs a signature
We have a printer that makes a lot of noise that he calls Chew-bookah (Chewbacca)

It's the little things that drive me nuts.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

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so I think you should just tell them to knock it off.

[/ QUOTE ]


Not really an option.
To put things in perspective, the glopper-clipper TOOK HIS SISTER OUT OF HIS WILL last week because she yelled at him for parking in her spot the week before.

Also, it's not really my place to tell someone they're gross.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

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Will always ask for my John Hitchcock when he needs a signature

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Hahahaha, I've heard people say John Doe also.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]

Examples:

Says Dee-ZEM-ber instead of December
Says ACK-a-ru-al (splitting into four syllables) instead of accrual
Will always ask for my John Hitchcock when he needs a signature
We have a printer that makes a lot of noise that he calls Chew-bookah (Chewbacca)

It's the little things that drive me nuts.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is he Nigerian or something? Also...on the John Hitchcock thing, he's gotta be levelling you with that one!

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]
Will always ask for my John Hitchcock when he needs a signature

[/ QUOTE ]

Hahaha. I worked with a guy whose malapropisms made coming to work so much more fun.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

just close the door to your big corner office and they won't bother you.

oh wait, I guess you can't do that. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment.
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment.
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment.
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment.
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, just a moment.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

Examples:

Says Dee-ZEM-ber instead of December
Says ACK-a-ru-al (splitting into four syllables) instead of accrual
Will always ask for my John Hitchcock when he needs a signature
We have a printer that makes a lot of noise that he calls Chew-bookah (Chewbacca)

It's the little things that drive me nuts.

[/ QUOTE ]

Is he Nigerian or something? Also...on the John Hitchcock thing, he's gotta be levelling you with that one!

[/ QUOTE ]

I wish I could say he was (levelling me that is, not Nigerian) - but he's not nearly smart enough to level anyone.

He's not Nigerian but he is from Newfoundland, so that might explain things.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

27o,

I would have killed myself one week in. Good luck.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

BBV knows of my tribulations.

My boss sits about 4 feet away from me and smacks constantly. I want to hang myself with my mouse chord at times.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

I tried to post about the people in my office that upset me, but just thinking about it made me annoyed, so I decided that I won't and instead will enjoy the fact that they're both out today.

Fingernail Clipping in public is the worst though. Who thinks that is ok.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

My coworkers are mostly considerate and quiet. And having a real office with a door is a plus if you really can't stand something particular one day.

Fortunately she's no longer with my company but there used to be this one troll-like lady who would remove her shoes and walk around barefoot (no socks or panty-hose either). Few things ruin your appetite at around 11:30 like some fat lady-feet with toe rings.

Swede

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

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Fortunately she's no longer with my company but there used to be this one troll-like lady who would remove her shoes and walk around barefoot (no socks or panty-hose either). Few things ruin your appetite at around 11:30 like some fat lady-feet with toe rings.
Swede

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll be skipping lunch now. At least you saved me $6 Swede. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

I think the environment of an office, and spending 40+ hours in it a week make the occupants hate each other.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

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Fingernail Clipping in public is the worst though. Who thinks that is ok.

[/ QUOTE ]

Even though I tread lightly with him because he is 'off', I jokingly, and only because a cool officemate was listening, asked him a couple days ago if I could borrow his clippers after he was done because I wanted to clip my toenails...

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

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I think the environment of an office, and spending 40+ hours in it a week make the occupants hate each other.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sometimes, but not always. If you get the right people together you kind of all appreciate the absurdity together and it stops being annoying and starts being funny.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

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Will always ask for my John Hitchcock when he needs a signature

[/ QUOTE ]
Amuse yourself.
Start signing 'John Hitchcock' on the stuff he brings you. See how long it takes for him to notice.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

I'm about to ask for my cube to be moved because of the guy on the other side of the wall. He's a program manager and well respected, but he's got to be the most annoying man on the planet.

First of all, you got the voice. It's just this whiny, bitchy, nasally voice. On top of that he's very loud.

But the thing that really gets me: constantly talks to himself. Or rather, talks to his email. "awww c'mon guys!" Not talking to anyone. "What the hell are they doooing?!" Even just when he sits down at his desk: "ok, let's see here.. hmm..ok." Laughs at data he's reading or whatever. Sighs a lot. It's just clear he wants everyone around him to know he's angry, or delighted, or whatever.

Oh.. one last thing. Chews gum like an f'ing cow. Same with carrots. ugghhh.

I can't fathom who married him, or who hangs out with him. If it weren't for my iPod, I'd have lost it by now.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

How do you guys do this? I wouldn't be able to handle it. I can understand why office workers go crazy and walk in shooting now.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]

To put things in perspective, the glopper-clipper TOOK HIS SISTER OUT OF HIS WILL last week because she yelled at him for parking in her spot the week before.


[/ QUOTE ]

I find it difficult to believe that both of the following are true:
1) this happened
2) he told someone about it at work

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

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It's just clear he wants everyone around him to know he's angry, or delighted, or whatever.



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Hate.

Yambag 2 in my office does a variation of this.
If someone is in earshot, he feels the need to mumble his next activity, no matter how mundane.

Eg: While getting up from desk to make a call in a another room, he'll mumble almost inaudibly an to no one in particular....."Gotta go in other room...make a quick call..."

While reaching for a knife in the kitchen....."jus grabbin' this knife...."

Going upstairs for whatever...."gotta go upstairs for a ...*trails off into mumble*...


Dude, STFU and stop narrating yourself. No one cares.
-----My father-in-law does this incessantly as well. Drives me nuts.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

To put things in perspective, the glopper-clipper TOOK HIS SISTER OUT OF HIS WILL last week because she yelled at him for parking in her spot the week before.


[/ QUOTE ]

I find it difficult to believe that both of the following are true:
1) this happened
2) he told someone about it at work

[/ QUOTE ]

In my experience the glopper-clipper type is exactly the type of person who shares EVERYTHING at work.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Will always ask for my John Hitchcock when he needs a signature

[/ QUOTE ]
Amuse yourself.
Start signing 'John Hitchcock' on the stuff he brings you. See how long it takes for him to notice.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is awesome. I'm going to try this next time.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

i used to work with a girl who had to be the most annoying person ever. and the annoying things she did made the normally, not annoying things, annoying.

she sang carpenters song all the time, and ver loudly, over whatever was playing on the radio.

she refused to answer the phones, even if the rest of us (2 of us) were on the phone, and she would be able to see this.

she couldn't just give you a simple yes or no answer. she often times answered you in french or some other really stupid way.

she would go through a roll of toilet paper a day. which i never understood.

she would talk about how she was on the atkins diet. (she was skinny anyways, and most likely bulemic sp?) eat all the meat off of half the pizza, which was for everyone, then eat like 2 bags of popcorn later.

anytime she was asked to do something that was part of her job, she'd throw a mini fit.

there were a lot of other things, but i can't recall them right now.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

John Hithcock? Its Herbie Hancock

http://www.unca.edu/housing/images/s.../tommy-boy.jpg

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

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I find it difficult to believe that both of the following are true:
1) this happened
2) he told someone about it at work

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, believe it.

Went on vaca last month for 3 weeks. Home for Chinese New Year.
Parking incident happened 2 days before start of New Year.
After incident, he got into an argument with his sister and then LOCKED HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM FOR 5 DAYS to protest, surely ruining New Year for everyone involved.
After return, he first tells us story. At least 3 times, BTW.
After another week, he tells us he's taken his sister out of his will.

He's very self-absorbed, so it's kind of normal that he gives us too much info on a daily basis.

I swear to Spaghetti Monster.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


I find it difficult to believe that both of the following are true:
1) this happened
2) he told someone about it at work

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, believe it.

Went on vaca last month for 3 weeks. Home for Chinese New Year.
Parking incident happened 2 days before start of New Year.
After incident, he got into an argument with his sister and then LOCKED HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM FOR 5 DAYS to protest, surely ruining New Year for everyone involved.
After return, he first tells us story. At least 3 times, BTW.
After another week, he tells us he's taken his sister out of his will.

He's very self-absorbed, so it's kind of normal that he gives us too much info on a daily basis.

I swear to Spaghetti Monster.

[/ QUOTE ]
Wait... is "vaca" your word or his?

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]
she couldn't just give you a simple yes or no answer. she often times answered you in french or some other really stupid way.

eat all the meat off of half the pizza, which was for everyone, then eat like 2 bags of popcorn later.



[/ QUOTE ]

I would want to kick her in the face for these things alone. I guess I'm kinda lucky there isn't really any annoying people at my workplace. I specify REALLY, since they're all kinda annoying in their own little ways, but not overly.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]

To put things in perspective, the glopper-clipper TOOK HIS SISTER OUT OF HIS WILL last week because she yelled at him for parking in her spot the week before.


[/ QUOTE ]

I find it difficult to believe that both of the following are true:
1) this happened
2) he told someone about it at work

[/ QUOTE ]

In my experience the glopper-clipper type is exactly the type of person who shares EVERYTHING at work.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dids, you drilled it.

Oh, my finger...
Oh, my back...
Oh, my sister...
Oh, I wait at bus today for 22 minutes...
Oh, I can not believe she...
Oh, I did not sleep well last night. I fall asleep at 2:30 in morning and get up at 5:30.
Oh, I work out last night and pull muscle. Right here, see...

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

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Wait... is "vaca" your word or his?

[/ QUOTE ]

Mine. I'll use 'vacation' next time.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]
Mine. I'll use 'vacation' next time.

[/ QUOTE ]

too late bro, i think he's already shown that you're probably "that guy" to somebody else in your office.

"case in point: he calls vacations 'VAKAYS'. wtf?!"

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

btw- "yambags" is a fantastic word that I will be overusing in the near future.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

My office partner shoots me with USB Missile Launchers.

So, all y'all can go [censored] yourselves.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]
btw- "yambags" is a fantastic word that I will be overusing in the near future.

[/ QUOTE ]

You have undoubtably heard me say this IRL.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Mine. I'll use 'vacation' next time.

[/ QUOTE ]

too late bro, i think he's already shown that you're probably "that guy" to somebody else in your office.

"case in point: he calls vacations 'VAKAYS'. wtf?!"

[/ QUOTE ]


I would never say 'vacays'.
You have to draw a line somewhere.

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

[ QUOTE ]
My office partner shoots me with USB Missile Launchers.

So, all y'all can go [censored] yourselves.

[/ QUOTE ]


SUCK IT!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z-hcJe7QFo

Re: Irritating office yambags
 

I found the description of the yogurt ritual very funny.

Also, the guy clips his fingernails every single day?

People are weird.