BBV CONFESSION
 

I have a confession I have to make guys. I....am....a.....joke. I have been playing poker for 5 years, have had some intermediate success on venom007, but nowhere near the success I expect of someone of my intelligence. I'm young, i have a lot of talent and potential, but for some reason I just cannot get myself under control when it comes to tilting. Just one bad session has me moving from .25/.50 to 2/4...everytime I bust I tell myself next time will be different, if you just play one month and build your way from .10/.25 PLO you'll be playing 1/2 or at least .5/1 in no time, just stick with it-- unfortunately i rarely ever stick with it, and that has lead to me wasting the past 5 years of my life playing poker.

Have I learned anything about the game? In terms of pure knowledge about how to play, I think my knowledge surpasses far more than the majority of players, but that is completely irrelevant if I can't battle and win the emotional part of the game.

I have poker tracker.....and I've never had a database larger than 3,000 hands, as when any limit starts going south, as I know is going to happen, I get upset and start a new database. I expect to win. Ping pong, basketball, tennis, these sports are not like poker. The other competitive aspects of my life are not like poker. They have made me falsly believe that if i work hard and put in the effort, im going to consistantly win-- poker guraentees nothing of the sort.

I've had a number of people back me in the past, and only with one did I have great success since he was always there for me to help me through the bad times, talk on the phone, etc.....it is embarassing that I cannot solve the game on my own. If I had learned the emotional part of the game and been able to practice BR management and not tilt for just a year, i'd have a sizeable bankroll, a large checking and savings account, and possibly have a reputation as a good player. Instead what do I have? Absolutely nothing. I say thank you to all the people that have believed in me throughout my poker career, one day I will pay you back, but for now I am left sitting here wondering what could have been if I had just learned some self control.

I think thats another one of my big problems, eveyr time I bust, every time I think about poker, I think to myself that if I just had learned some self control I would have a huge bankroll. So I play with the attitude that I DESERVE a large bankroll, and that [censored] it, ill move to higher limits and get it the quickest way possible. I have now learned that I deserve NOTHING, poker rewards those who stick with something and focus, and I have not really stuck with anything. I'm all over the place from .5/1 NL holdem to 3/6 limit the next day to 2/4 razz to 2/4 PLO to sit and gos to MTT's to heads up.

I am not sure where my future path will take me, but I know I have potential to become a great poker player, or at least a winning one. And I believe the first step in that path is admitting one thing: I....am.....a......joke.

Thanks for reading and listening
- Venom007

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

why not get a job and stop gambling?

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

The idea of having to get an 8-10 dollar an hour job while in college when I know I have the ability/potential to make far more playing poker if I learned how to manage my emotions is utterly depressing, thats why.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

Good start. I think you can use your bad experiences to fuel a comeback provided you stick to a disciplined strategy for building your bankroll. Its really very simple, you just set up a plan and stick to it. If you cant do that I suggest not playing at all.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

Thanks for the positive response, i appreciate it. Its just hard, I think to myself HOW? How are you stuck playing .10/.25 after 5 years for the 999999th time when if you werent a moron for 5 years you could be playing 25/50? Its just depressing, confusing, sad, angering all at once.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

5 years and still -EV? wow. Props to admitting it though. That takes soem balls.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

You're not cut out for poker. I'm sorry to say that, but it's true. If you add up your 50 databases you probably have a decent number of hands. What's your BB/100 during this sample? Probably takes 10 minutes to figure out, but well worth doing because you need to face reality here. Either you need to learn some humility and start working for your poker success, or you should be quitting right now and get one of those $8/h jobs, for two reasons. One, it pays much better than $0/h, which will be your poker expectation (actually negative but let's ignore that), and two, a regular paying job won't destroy your life and soul like becoming a degenerate gambler with no prospects and no money will.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

lol @ ping pong being the first sport you list

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

you're still a douche this post doesn't change things.

And yes I am a bigger one but I also have a bigger BR which should be proportional.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

That's a pretty decent BBV post.

I have a buddy who essentially does what you do. But he adds in the entitlement tilt when winning also.
I think much of it does come down to gambling vs playing poker with a plan.

Acknowledging what is going on is a start- I'm not sure what the second part of that is though.
I haven't been able to talk my buddy into a long term plan he sticks to yet either- and the inability to do that I think will always be his biggest obstacle.

I hope you can overcome that.

Good luck.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

Bottom line is be honest with yourself and if you really truly believe you can beat the game, then beat it. Psychologically you have to be willing to play within your limits and get up when you start to get aggrivated. Otherwise, you are gonna continue to hate yourself for not succeeding due to not practicing some very simple strategy/management techniques. Its not that hard, get with the program, there is plenty to go around. You may not be cut out for this game also, 5yrs and no br is very unconvincing of the level of skill you claim.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

Haha touche deeb......and yeah I like ping pong, so sue me! Apefish-- your friend sounds just like me..and I admit I still have tons to learn in terms of the actual concepts behind the game-- but I have enough knowledge of the game to be a very successfull player if I could just figure out the psychological aspect of the game.

It is by far the most difficult thing I have ever encountered in my life....forget the lsat, forget college and academics, forget figuring out women-- winning the war against the psychological aspect of poker is one of the most difficult things ive ever faced.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

I think the biggest problem is, that you think you are way better than others: You're probably not!

I have never moved up in Limits because of Tilt, because I know these guys are better than I am.

YOur biggest problem is probably your arrogance, if you would approach the game in another way you could be successful...

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

[ QUOTE ]
if i work hard and put in the effort, im going to consistantly win-- poker guraentees nothing of the sort.- Venom007

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think this is true. I don't think you do either from your post.



You're a step ahead because at least you know what your problem is. It's psychological - and maybe ego. You just have to have some humility (but not so much that you call yourself a joke.) The psychological part is probably the hardest part of the game, specifically dealing with bad beats and not making subsequent bad decisions because of them. I know that's the hardest part for me. But if you can control it, it can be an edge. A lot of times when I get to the end of a SNG it's me and someone way better than me, but if my mind is right, I win anyway. Just because I drop the ego, admit I'm outclassed and plug away waiting for them to make a mistake.

I personally believe that if you know how to play poker, and you practice bankroll management, you can't go broke. Lose money, move down, simple.

Also you have too many "if only's" "if I had just.."
Useless.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

just quit poker permanently

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

Some people will tell you to get a coach. This is wrong. What you need is the Hurdy Gurdy Man


HURDY GURDY MAN
Donovan

Thrown like a star in my vast sleep
I open my eyes to take a peep
To find that I was by the sea
Gazing with tranquillity.
'Twas then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man
Came singing songs of love,
Then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man
Came singing songs of love.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Histories of ages past
Unenlightened shadows cast
Down through all eternity
The crying of humanity.
'Tis then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man
Comes singing songs of love,
Then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man
Comes singing songs of love.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang.
Here comes the roly poly man and he's singing songs of love,
Roly poly, roly poly, roly poly, poly he sang.
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang,
Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy, gurdy he sang

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

pay me and ill be your tilt coach...

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

[ QUOTE ]
I have a confession I have to make guys. I....am....a.....joke. I have been playing poker for 5 years, have had some intermediate success on venom007, but nowhere near the success I expect of someone of my intelligence.

[/ QUOTE ]
Most people overestimate their intelligence. You're probably no exception.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I have a confession I have to make guys. I....am....a.....joke. I have been playing poker for 5 years, have had some intermediate success on venom007, but nowhere near the success I expect of someone of my intelligence.

[/ QUOTE ]
Most people overestimate their intelligence. You're probably no exception.

[/ QUOTE ]

lolol you're probably no exception either.

lo0lo0lducy?

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

Do yourself a favour and read 'the poker mindset'

Learn to control your emotions

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

Did you play on everest poker?

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

Poker doesn't owe you [censored]. Sorry. You owe it to your BR not to tilt.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

I used to be all over the place like you, skipping from nlhe to heads up sng to razz and omaha. If you are trying to build a bankroll, you might want to stick with your best game, all the time, no exceptions. It will keep you in a more steady groove, and will help you focus on playing every hand optimally.

Don't ever dabble in lower than your normal stake as you won't give your best effort and you will become the live one. Don't move up until you are absolutely rolled for the level, and you've prepared yourself mentally. If you are tilting, use the 24 hour self exclusion feature, go watch a movie or exercise and come back with a clear head.

Go pick up barry greenstein's book and read it cover to cover. About 12 times. If that doesn't help you, then you suck at poker and you should quit. gl.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

I don't know how to teach someone not to tilt, but at least set some goals for yourself. If your game is no-limit, I'd advise you to play at a level where you have at least 20 buy-ins, and to play that limit exclusively for 10,000 hands. Look at your results after the 10K hands and decide if you're happy with those results and if you're rolled for the next level. I'd say if you're not beating your initial level for at least 5 PTBB/100 you should stick around until you improve.

I am still learning how to beat NL100 but have had good results at NL25 and NL50. PM me if you'd like to check in a couple of times a week for bankroll and tilt management advice or to review hands at those or lower limits. I don't know if I'm ready to coach anyone but I can try to help you a bit.

[x] First BBV post
[x] Flame away

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

I know somebody that fits your description very close. He has been playing high stakes 5000NL, but you can constantly find him at 50NL, 100NL etc.. He just can`t control bankroll management. He has been around for couple of years. Sorry don`t really know what to advise you. I heard there is a coach that focuses on those subjects (tilt control and bankroll mngt), but I can`t remember his name.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

im glad to announce Dschmeidreu is most likely getting staked this afternoon after we talked it through yesterday.

We will try and update progress on the stake so that BBV knows which is rly key for success imo. Busto date and prop bets of the kind welcome. gg me etc...

let us gogogo!

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

Stop playing right away, if you can't control tilt take up another hobby.

Re: BBV CONFESSION
 

if i have any advice its try to play live more...the games are softer for one thing...and its alot harder to put your whole bankroll on the table...i basically was the exact same person you described yourself as...i realized online wasnt for me...i found some places that ran live games where i could make a living and its going well...this would be my advice to you