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-   -   OT: Holy [censored], I'm Getting Married! (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=515746)

10-04-2007 05:42 PM

OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
The wedding is this Sunday, and jesus... I can't believe it. I'm 24, which is apparently young for nuptials, but I've been with this girl since junior year of high school, so I'm quite sure she's the one.

Wish me luck (not so much with getting married, but more with not falling out of the chair when they sing "Hava Nagila").

Any of you old married men wanna throw out a word of advice that you wish you had when you first took the plunge?

PS - Kinda funny/nerdy/obv, but I found a thread where I used OOT to bounce proposal ideas off:
Putting Marriage Proposal Ideas into Action...

Bakes 10-04-2007 05:45 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
Any of you old married men wanna throw out a word of advice that you wish you had when you first took the plunge?

[/ QUOTE ]

Here's some advice from a young single man.

This thread is worthless without pics.

but congrats obv

Ansky 10-04-2007 05:46 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Mazal Tov homie.

bobaroo120 10-04-2007 05:50 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
The actual wedding reception is going to rush by. You're probably not going to remember most of it. Pick a moment where you just step back and take it all in because otherwise it will be over before you know it and you won't remember anything except saying hello and goodbye to everyone.

Jurollo 10-04-2007 05:50 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
grats rob! looking forward to a weekend of partying in boston

bobaroo120 10-04-2007 05:52 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Didn't know you were from Boston. Knowing that, I would imagine no one will care about your wedding with game 3 going on.

Jurollo 10-04-2007 05:53 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
Didn't know you were from Boston. Knowing that, I would imagine no one will care about your wedding with game 3 going on.

[/ QUOTE ]
Rob isnt from Boston, he is a New Yorker, I am in Boston and we've been trying to find a weekend for him to come into beantown. I am trying to turn him into a Sox fan though!

10-04-2007 05:56 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
Didn't know you were from Boston. Knowing that, I would imagine no one will care about your wedding with game 3 going on.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is still true, unfortunately. Just a different game in a different city [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

10-04-2007 05:57 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
This thread is worthless without pics.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll look for one later. At the very least, I'll post a wedding photo after the big shindig.

NoahSD 10-04-2007 05:58 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Congrats rob. That's so awesome.

gobbomom 10-04-2007 05:59 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This thread is worthless without pics.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll look for one later. At the very least, I'll post a wedding photo after the big shindig.

[/ QUOTE ]

you better! I hope your wedding day is perfect Rob. Congrats.

bucktotal 10-04-2007 06:03 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
Mazal Tov homie.

[/ QUOTE ]

shaundeeb 10-04-2007 06:03 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
wheres my invite?

Jurollo 10-04-2007 06:05 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This thread is worthless without pics.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll look for one later. At the very least, I'll post a wedding photo after the big shindig.

[/ QUOTE ]
Honeymoon pics? [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

10-04-2007 06:07 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
wheres my invite?

[/ QUOTE ]

lost in mail ftw? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

10-04-2007 06:07 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This thread is worthless without pics.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll look for one later. At the very least, I'll post a wedding photo after the big shindig.

[/ QUOTE ]
Honeymoon pics? [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

You dirty dirty man.

shaundeeb 10-04-2007 06:09 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This thread is worthless without pics.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll look for one later. At the very least, I'll post a wedding photo after the big shindig.

[/ QUOTE ]
Honeymoon pics? [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

You dirty dirty angleshooter.

[/ QUOTE ]

jtown1010 10-04-2007 06:10 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Congrats! My #1 piece of inexperianced advice is to not stress at all and just go with the flow of the day. I think it's pretty standard for the bride to get stressed out, so that might affect you a bit, but really try to focus on having a great time and not so much on the next 50 years.

Good Luck man, I hope you have a great wedding and a better honeymoon!

rothko 10-04-2007 06:14 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
congratulations. soon u can have teh secks.

Jurollo 10-04-2007 06:14 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
This thread is worthless without pics.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll look for one later. At the very least, I'll post a wedding photo after the big shindig.

[/ QUOTE ]
Honeymoon pics? [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

You dirty dirty angleshooter.

[/ QUOTE ]

[/ QUOTE ]
Not in a thread about Rob getting married.

gobbomom 10-04-2007 06:16 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
oh yeah Rob, don't get too drunk, you'll regret it.

kleath 10-04-2007 06:16 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Congrats Kramer

NeedATimeMachine 10-04-2007 06:17 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
congratulations. soon u WON'T have teh secks.

[/ QUOTE ]

Confused1 10-04-2007 06:24 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
Any of you old married men wanna throw out a word of advice that you wish you had when you first took the plunge?


[/ QUOTE ]

credentials - 40 yr old, happily married over my head for 18 years.

(1) For her: "Every man wants his wife to be a lady in front of his friends and a whore in the bedroom"

(2) Not every secret needs to be told.

(3) The best way to not break promises is to not make them. If you do make them, keep them. Trust is required in marriage and it's very hard to get back if you lose it.

(4) Under promise - over perform.

(5) Don't ever go to bed mad.

(6) Her clock isn't anywhere near finished at 24, enjoy each other. When kids come, there will be times when those memories you're making now will get you to the next day.

(7) If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

(8) Honor her and ask her to honor you. DO NOT talk bad about her to your parents/friends and ask that she doesn't also. Many times after you've gotten passed a small bump the in-laws/friends will hold on to that fault for a looooong time.


None of that should be new, but don't forget it.

Congratulations and good luck!!!!

10-04-2007 06:31 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Helluva post, Consuded. Thanks man.

Sherman 10-04-2007 06:34 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Congrats Rob!

As a person who just got married 2.5 weeks ago, I really can't say a whole lot. Here are a few thoughts:

1) I wasn't nervous at all until about 5 minutes before the ceremony started. Drink a few beers in front of the church/temple/etc. if you can...it's fun.

2) Make a post in this thread (or a seperate thread) about how great it is to be getting married to your fiance and how much she means to you. Then send her an e-mail and link it to her before the big day. She should love it.

3) Take at least a few minutes after the ceremony with your wife. It is a very busy and hectic day. Make sure you get a few moments with her after the ceremony (whether that be in a limo to the reception or in a broom closet in the church/temple/etc.).

4) Enjoy the day as much as you can. It all went really fast for me, so try to soak in as much as you can.

Congrats again!

Sherman

Crash0veride 10-04-2007 06:34 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
Mazal Tov homie.

[/ QUOTE ]

ASPoker8 10-04-2007 06:38 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
congrats man, go redsox!

sirio11 10-04-2007 06:38 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Congrats Kramer !!!

And as Pink Floyd would say:

"All you need to do is make sure you keep talking"

Zetack 10-04-2007 06:40 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
You will from time to time find yourself in a fight that makes no sense at all but where you find yourself enraged beyond all reason. It will happen, it doesn't matter how much you love each other or how laid back and non-comabtive the two of you may be. Maybe you're an ass, maybe she's unreasonable, maybe a squirrel got in the effin dryer -- whatever.

Two things when that happens. Despite the fact that you're so angry you're really losing control of yourself, have enough self possession not to say anything that's over the line even if she is saying that kind of thing to you. You'll know what's over the line. You won't be able to take that back later, and even when you're all lovey dovey again, she'll remember those words. Second, when the fight is over, let it go as fast as possible - don't seeth, don't restart the fight, get over the need to be "right". Ask yourself if you enjoy being angry or enjoy having the woman that you love in your arms more.

Also, more generally, women really like to be listened to. Not all the time, necessarily, but at least occaisionally, really listen to her, give her your complete and undivided, uncritical attention.

Thegunshow 10-04-2007 07:14 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Don't worry about getting to drunk. You'll be too busy to keep a regular drink in your hand.

The first year is the hardest and it gets better every year. No one ever talks about it, but it is also the most common year for a divorce. If things get difficult, just remember that it happens to everyone and you'll work through it eventually.

tedtodd 10-04-2007 07:23 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Congrats! I've been married for a little more than 3 months now... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

GL!

BadgerPro 10-04-2007 07:38 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Big Congrats Bro!!!!!!!!

EC10 10-04-2007 08:27 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
sorry to hear it man =( condolences

funkymunky 10-04-2007 08:45 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
The actual wedding reception is going to rush by. You're probably not going to remember most of it. Pick a moment where you just step back and take it all in because otherwise it will be over before you know it and you won't remember anything except saying hello and goodbye to everyone.

[/ QUOTE ]

This advice is spot on. You'll be super busy, no doubt. Try and enjoy the moments/day, and soak it all in.

stopcensoringme 10-04-2007 11:20 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Congrats! The wedding/reception/the next five years are going to come and go faster than you thought possible. I'm 28, been married 6 years this Saturday, and our first child is 3.5 months old.

Here's the best advice I can give. Enjoy the wedding and try to stay in the moment. It's over in a hurry and I was in a daze through most of mine. I should have concentrated more and not let my mind wander.

Do not get stupid drunk at the reception. It's a lot more fun to get stupid drunk at your best friend's reception than your own. Thankfully I followed the advice of said best friend and didn't drink at my reception.

Finally, if you're planning on having kids right away, wait. My wife and I dated since our senior year in HS, she wanted kids as soon as we got married. I wanted to wait a few years. We agreed to do that, and it took a few more to have a child. Looking back, my wife cherishes the time we had alone and it really allowed us to get to know each other.

Bidz 10-04-2007 11:37 PM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Congratulations! Mazel Tov! etc

Old guy here, married 8+ years...

[ QUOTE ]
You will from time to time find yourself in a fight that makes no sense at all but where you find yourself enraged beyond all reason. It will happen, it doesn't matter how much you love each other or how laid back and non-comabtive the two of you may be. Maybe you're an ass, maybe she's unreasonable, maybe a squirrel got in the effin dryer -- whatever.

Two things when that happens. Despite the fact that you're so angry you're really losing control of yourself, have enough self possession not to say anything that's over the line even if she is saying that kind of thing to you. You'll know what's over the line. You won't be able to take that back later, and even when you're all lovey dovey again, she'll remember those words. Second, when the fight is over, let it go as fast as possible - don't seeth, don't restart the fight, get over the need to be "right". Ask yourself if you enjoy being angry or enjoy having the woman that you love in your arms more.

Also, more generally, women really like to be listened to. Not all the time, necessarily, but at least occaisionally, really listen to her, give her your complete and undivided, uncritical attention.

[/ QUOTE ]
Yes this is gold.

RonFezBuddy 10-05-2007 12:57 AM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
Congrats dude.

I'm 32...married for 3.5 years and have a 9 month old son.

Some advice:

1. Drink lots of water during the reception. You'll end up dehydrated otherwise, especially if it's humid. It happened to me and I had the worst headache of my life afterwards.

2. Remember that you're committing to someone for the long-term, and that long-term love is different than short-term. If life, when you act, think about how you'll feel about what you are doing when you look back in 5 minutes, 5 years and 50 years.

3. She's not perfect. Neither are you. Love her strengths and accept her faults. It's what makes her who she is. If she was perfect she wouldn't be with you. Not an insult, but she just wouldn't need a partner and that's better than having just another girl.

4. Always be respectful. She's a person too with feelings, thoughts, and aspirations.

5. If she violates any of the rules above, let her know and explain their importance to you. If she does something that irks you, just f**ing talk about it. Don't let anger fester.

6. In 6-12 months it's gonna hit you that you are never having sex with another woman. Damn that really sucks. It's ok to feel some regret. Especially when some pretty young thing comes around and makes you think that she's interested. Just remember that you have a life partner.

7. Check out High Fidelity (the book or the movie, both were good).

8. Def wait a few years to have a kid. Having my son is the best thing that ever happened to me. But it's all consuming. You are 24 and you guys should enjoy the things in life that require less attachments, like travel, spending money, etc. When it happens though, life becomes so much more meaningful.

Good luck.

Where in NY are you getting married btw? I got married on Long Island, at the Port Jefferson Country Club.

10-05-2007 01:17 AM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
No idea how to not have the pic be jumbo-sized, but nevertheless, here we are. (I'm the one in the red shirt)

Wedding pics to come after the honeymoon [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

http://lh5.google.com/Rob.Lederer/Rw...ll%20Ball%.jpg

10-05-2007 01:19 AM

Re: OT: Holy [censored], I\'m Getting Married!
 
[ QUOTE ]
Where in NY are you getting married btw? I got married on Long Island, at the Port Jefferson Country Club.

[/ QUOTE ]

We're getting married at Tavern on the Green in Central Park.

I'm from Long Island, but I've never been out to the Port Jeff Country Club. Long Island weddings are so nice though, and we were very close to going down that route ourselves.


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