Two Plus Two Newer Archives

This is the story of me and my friend JC and our night getting a hooker. Enjoy.

We flew into Vegas to go to a pick up artist camp (Juggler method, I'd already been to Mystery). Vegas is a lot of fun, I wanted to pick up girls, JC is a good friend and the idea of him trying to pick up girls is hilarious. He thought I signed both of us up but I just signed myself up so he played poker all weekend (like he always does) and I learned the finer points of how to get girls without paying money.

Sunday evening the class is over and me and JC are ready to go out on the town, we did some shopping that day. I got some clothes at Ted Baxter where a cute girl helped me get some clothes. JC worked his magic by repeatedly saying how much money we both made playing poker. She totally dug us. Interestingly, she mentioned that Ted Baxter had visited the store and was chauvisnistc, the reason was something like - he put a womens name on the bottom of the shoes they made, so people step on the woman's name every time the walk.

That night me and JC go to the Ghost Bar, JC is wearing a pink polo shirt (for those of you that don't know him he is Lebanese, dark skinned, a lot of tatoos, he is thinking about piercing his ears for $4,000 diamond earrings, wears tight jeans and hoodie sweatshirts)... and I'm wearing my new diesel jeans, brown loafer shoes and a yellow stripped button shirt. These clothes were expensive, I don't like them they're uncomfortable and I pretty much haven't worn them since. One main point of pick up is that the first girls of the night you approach are always hard there is no way to get around it but plowing through it - at the Ghost Bar we didn't talk to anyone. Instead JC explained to me how 9/11 was a government conspiracy and how we never actually landed on the moon (the flag waves in the video, there is no wind on the moon). Then for the first time in my life I spilt my drink, all over my new expensive clothes.

However I wasn't so stupid as to forget THE main rule about having fun which is to drink. Me and JC were both drunk by now so we got in a cab and asked to be taken to a place for sex. The cab driver took us to an American massage place which was a little suspect because Asian massage places are sweet, that is a well known fact but what we'd get at an American place is unclear. We both payed $400 each for half an hour and it was pretty clear what we'd get. But it turns out we were wrong because my girl put on latex gloves and started giving me a massage with all my clothes on. I get embarrased talking about sex but after about 20 minutes of this, realizing my time was running out I asked if "we could please have sex now." She explained that they didn't do that there. By the way, the massage with gloves on was just annoying, it irritated my skin. She tried to convince me to go for another half an hour and at that point we could go to the VIP room but since she wouldn't commit verbally to specifically having sex with me I said no. JC had different plans. His plan was to up the ante and pay $500 for VIP room access.

I hung out in the lobby while JC was shown the VIP excercise room which had an treadmill and a bike. After about 15 minutes he came out, we went to the locker room and got ready to go. JC took the key to his locker and threw it behind the lockers, put something in the toilet maybe a bathing suit or a towel and we left. In the parking lot JC unveiled the lock he had stolen too and chucked it at the window. He ran off and I started saying "WTF WTF WTF", then from behind me I heard one of the massive bouncers yelling something and without even looking I bolted off after him really scared. We ran for a while and I tripped and fell in a puddle further ruining my new clothes, only later did I wonder what a puddle was doing in Las Vegas.

Since we're poker pros and this was just money, we were still not to be deterred. We got a cab and immeadiately asked to be taken to hookers. He said he knew a massage place, we told him what had just happened and in his black person accent explained "yo dude, i'm not gonna [censored] wit ya, for $400 you can get your [censored] on here, no lie." The first cab driver was Lebanese, him and JC had built up some repoire so it was a bit surprising that he ruined our [censored] like that. This guy was promising to our face we'd have sex at the next place so we went with it and ended up right down the street from our first place.

We both pay like $400 get a girl and go to a room in the back. Then the same thing happens, the girl gives me a massage with gloves on and I can hear JC arguing in the next room about it. This was some serious [censored]. I was so depressed I just lay there for 1/2 an hour taking it, the whole time my skin getting irritated. 1/2 an hour up I'm about to leave but this girl was more persuasive than the last one. She said for another $400 I'd get another 1/2 an hour with VIP treatement. I asked what that meant exactly and she said "I'll treat special areas" and moved her hand towards my crotch. So out in the lobby me and JC meet up again as we're paying for the next session. Back in the room she goes at it again with the freaking gloves on and I ask "what's up with treating my special areas? what were you talking about?" at which point she exlains she was referring to my Feet. WTF? Are you [censored] serious? Couldn't help but laugh when she said that one.

Both of us immeadiately left, I was afraid that the people from the last massage place were going to send hitmen to our houses and break our knees for breaking their windows so I begged JC to not do anything crazy again. Things were starting to get depressing, the sun was just coming up. We got a cab back to our place, "JC you ready to check on the internet and call some girls." He hedged and hawed but clearly wanted to, he just needed me to make the call. So I dial up,
"Hello sir would you like a party in your room?"
"Yes please"
"Okay how many girls?"
"Two"
"And what type of girls would you like?"
"Um, well what... what do you mean by that?"
"Like blonde, brunette, short, big..."
I asked JC what's up and placed the order, "Okay one medium brunette and one small blonde please"
"Okay sir they'll be right over"

I'm a little anxious now, am jumping around the room while JC is checking out 2+2. I would have been anxious no matter what, but the fact was there was only one room for both of us to do this in simaltaneously. After a while someone knocks on the door, okay here we go. I open and enter: one large black girl. To be fair she wasn't fat, and she was good looking but she must have weighed more than me. But WTF, one girl? She asked us if we were ready for a party and we both said "yeah we are." We negotiated prices, somehow I think JC payed $400 and I payed $500. I was out of money at this point so had to trudge downstairs to use the ATM to pay her, lol. It's probably 8 in the morning now and here we are in the hotel room, not drunk anymore but horny after looking for a hooker for about 8 hours and here we are with one girl between the two of us. Oh well, nothing to do about it. I just had one question, "how much would it be for me to have two parties?" From previous history I knew a little something about my stamina in these situations, I figured as long as we were in this situation might as well make the best of it. Unfortunately she wasn't really into the idea.

I forget how we decided who would go first maybe we flipped a coin. JC went first while I lay on my own bed and bounced around. I think I was mainly hiding under the covers but I'd look over every once in a while to see what was going on. After about one minute I heard him gasp, she said something like "it's alright baby" and he said "i haven't had sex in a long time." Good game JC, he didn't even have sex after all that it was only a [censored]. Okay my turn, she comes over to my bed and we get going. JC looked at me a disconcertingly high number of times (mainly he was reading 2+2)... I went for maybe 4 minutes and then it was over. She left, the sun was way up it was day light now. That was our last night in Vegas and that is the only right way to spend a last night in Vegas. We hung out for an hour, packed up and then left for the airport.