Hitting on visitors
 

So my roommate thinks I "crossed a line" here, but I don't.

Here's what happened:

I woke up on Saturday morning, kind of hung over, and there is some girl I've never seen before talking to my roommate, Narek. I soon discover that she is transfering to my school next year (I'm leaving this month), and she met Narek on the internet. This isn't quite as sketchy as it sounds, because Narek is very involved with the Armenian Studen Association, and she is Armenian.

During the day, I spend a fair about of time hanging out with Narek and the girl, Victoria. While hung over she looked like a 6, but after she got ready to go out and I sobered up / drank again she went up to an 8. lol.

Anyway, that night I go to an Armenian dinner and party at a restaurant. Almost everyone besides me there is Armenian, and Victoria doesn't really know anyone, so I spend a lot of time with her at the party.

It becomes clear that she is at least somewhat into me. She gets semi-jealous when other girls text/ call me, she laughs at everything I say, she tells me about my "personality" type, etc. As the night and my BAC progress, I get more and flirty with her, which she appears to enjoy. She flew down for a day and was going to stay in a hotel, but decides to lie to her mom and crash on our couch. (-->note: she is 21, don't ask me why she has to lie to her mom... it's an Armenian thing I guess).

After we leave the party we have some people over our place, and also go to another party for a few minutes. I start jokingly calling her my girlfriend. During all this another girl who I've slept with (another story) comes for a little while and I hit on her for a bit.

Towards the end of the night we were cuddled up on the same sofa, but that was the extent of it. (I know, lame story).


Anyway, my roommate apparently thinks I "crossed the line" by hitting on her (which in his mind started when I jokingly called her my girlfriend, which I did a bunch of times). He went on some rant about how she is trusting him, and all Armenian girls should be treated like his sister... etc.

What really bothered me was I told him way earlier in the night that I thought I could probably hook up with her, and he was like "eh... I dunno..." which he later claimed was a directive to not try anything. I was also telling her Narek would make a good boyfriend next year when I'm not here, lol advancewingmanshipments.

So what it comes down to is: Is your roommate's visitor, who he met on the interenet, is lying to her mom to sleep in your apartment, and is showing IOIs (indicators of interest)... FAIR GAME?

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

Haha, nice interception.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

Isn't he gonna like bomb you now?

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

I can understand him being annoyed because he thought he was going to bang her. Saying all Armenian girls should be treated like his sister is retarded.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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I can understand him being annoyed because he thought he was going to bang her. Saying all Armenian girls should be treated like his sister is retarded.

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That's kinda sick that he'd want to bang his sister.

If he says all Armenian girls are to be treated like his sister, that means that he's closed to door to pursuing them himself and it's time for you to get on it

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

he told me he was firmly committed to not hitting on her himself.

Agree about the sister thing... that's like sort of racism.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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Saying all Armenian girls should be treated like his sister is retarded.

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He just said that cause he didn't want to outright accuse you of cockblocking him.

If he genuinely didn't want to bang her, then his claim is retarded. He thinks all Armenian girls are off limits to everyone he knows?

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

he should get first crack at her

and then you should go for it
if he doesnt want the crack, you can take it
lol

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

You should tell him that all white(or whatever you are) girls are like your sisters and thus off limits to him.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

J,

"he told me he was firmly committed to not hitting her himself."

If he said that, fair game. Otherwise, you should back off completely and leave her to him until he completely strikes out.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

wish there was a BASTARD option

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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"he told me he was firmly committed to not hitting her himself."

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That's good news. I'm against violence and I don't think inviting her over just to slap her around would have been very appropriate at all.


I think before you make any moves on her at all you have to approach the other guy and make absolutely sure he wasn't intending to do the same thing.
Sounds like you pretty much did that when you said you were interested in her.
But this could have been after you already had been talking to her for a long time and kind of stolen her away leaving him sulking and stewing and getting really pissed that you were stepping all over whatever chance he had with this girl first.

His 'meh, whatever' response which evidently was supposed to mean "don't do it dude" might have been somehow related to something like this and he's just trying his darndest to not be too whiny about it while also feeling a little bit kicked in the stomach.

Something like that anyway could be a possibility.

But if he isn't going to be straight-forward with you about his intentions it's kind of hard for you to play mind-reader.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

i used to give tours at my undergraduate institution for prospective students. this was the best job ever. met a bunch of girls and hooked up with them within the first few weeks of the following year when they enrolled. so dirty.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

So Armenians are like Scandanavians? and Japanese? they don't really tell you what they mean, you're supposed to infer that " I don't know" really means "stay away from her you __."

I would say not fair game unless roommate gives explicit OK.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

Fair game, play ball.

I fully expect a trip report on this.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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Fair game, play ball.

I fully expect a trip report on this.

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maybe I wasn't clear in the OP, she just flew down for one day/night, and my roommate was mad at me for only what went down that night... which was the coveted "base 0" (flirting and non sexual contact LOL)

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

Fair game, but my Armenian friends would take issue with it. Their culture is a bit whacked when it comes to courting.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

I see nothing wrong with what you did. I see everything wrong in your roommate acting like a girl.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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I see nothing wrong with what you did. I see everything wrong in your roommate acting like a girl.

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Seconded.

Ray

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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i used to give tours at my undergraduate institution for prospective students. this was the best job ever. met a bunch of girls and hooked up with them within the first few weeks of the following year when they enrolled. so dirty.


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This is awesome and dirty at the same time.

I worked at a bar in undergrad and during freshman orientation days, when obvious freshman girls would walk by, the other bouncers and I would pull hot ones out and get them into the bar. This had a very high hookup success rate. Also dirty, yet awesome.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

Tell your roommate to shut his face.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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J,

"he told me he was firmly committed to not hitting her himself."

If he said that, fair game. Otherwise, you should back off completely and leave her to him until he completely strikes out.

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we really need to know at what point in the evening he said this. If it's after you already started flirting/hitting on her he might have just said it to save face (because you were clearly winning).

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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Tell your roommate to shut his face.

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Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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Isn't he gonna like bomb you now?

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[img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img] lol

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

You suck at roommate selection. A roommate should NEVER stymie sexual pursuits and ideally should aid in them.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

yea your roomate sounds like a big bucket of lameness

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

You sound like an [censored]. Why are you stealing your roommate's girl?

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

Damn you guys with aremenian fever, stealing all our women!

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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You sound like an [censored]. Why are you stealing your roommate's girl?

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He met her on the internet and met her 10 minutes before I did irl. meh.


He said that stuff to me at the end of night... we argued about it somewhere between 5-6 am but then we woke her up so the three of us hung out for another hour... but I was cold and distant lol.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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Anyway, my roommate apparently thinks I "crossed the line" by hitting on her (which in his mind started when I jokingly called her my girlfriend, which I did a bunch of times). He went on some rant about how she is trusting him, and all Armenian girls should be treated like his sister... etc.


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You don't treat ANYONE you meet on the internet like your sister. He was just trying to save her for himself. Show that you're non-discriminatory by hitting it.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

do you think him having a problem with what you did and her having to lie to her mom about where she was sleeping are maybe sorta related in that their culture has very different views of hooking up or dating or w/e?

otherwise i'd say hes just pissed cuz he wanted to bang her.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

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do you think him having a problem with what you did and her having to lie to her mom about where she was sleeping are maybe sorta related in that their culture has very different views of hooking up or dating or w/e?

otherwise i'd say hes just pissed cuz he wanted to bang her.

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well he did go on about how the only reason she trusted a random guy on the internet was because he's Aremenians, and Armenians always stick together, etc. etc.

I strongly disagree with his sentiments. He told me his cousin would have been a lot more upset about it (if he had been there) because he is "more traditional."

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

Sounds to me like this was supposed to be an arranged marriage, and you messed it up.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

tell your racist roommate to treat women like people. and to shut up his face.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

I honestly want to know what his reaction is to "So all Armenian girls are off limits to everyone you know?" and "All white girls are like my sisters and thus off limits to you."

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

J,

"He met her on the internet and met her 10 minutes before I did irl. meh."

Hold on, dude. That sounds like you're arguing that she's fair game, period. No way, your roomie gets a girl off the Internet to come hang out, he definitely has dibs.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

-wrong thread-

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

[ QUOTE ]
J,

"He met her on the internet and met her 10 minutes before I did irl. meh."

Hold on, dude. That sounds like you're arguing that she's fair game, period. No way, your roomie gets a girl off the Internet to come hang out, he definitely has dibs.

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I was just responding to Scary Tiger saying "you stole his girl," because she's not exactly "his girl."

But if he wants dibs he has to say something in the bar when I'm like "This is a strange situation...I think I can do something here." ...

maybe I should have checked with him more clearly. I'm fairly certain I didn't cockblock him at all, knowing him I don't think anything was going to materialize there that night. I was actually saying things to her like "you should date him next year, he's going to be the president of this organization (which is true)" etc.

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

[ QUOTE ]
J,

"He met her on the internet and met her 10 minutes before I did irl. meh."

Hold on, dude. That sounds like you're arguing that she's fair game, period. No way, your roomie gets a girl off the Internet to come hang out, he definitely has dibs.

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But he needs to express this in some way. He can't bring a girl over for seemingly non-romantic purposes, NOT show any indication that he wants her, and then blow up at the end of the night.

However if he showed that he wanted her, or said something near the beginning of the night...then OP probably should have backed off

Re: Hitting on visitors
 

he pretty much stated his non-intentions with a [censored] up comment like "blah blah sister" at which point she is an adult and is available. the end. your roommate is an idiot.