My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

I've alluded a couple times here that I'm on the Atkins Diet. That started on June 20, 2005, exactly two years ago, and I have no idea how much I weigh.

If you've never been overweight, you have no idea of the sheer mortal terror fat people feel when confronted with a scale. Unless we've resigned ourselves to a life of fat-and-happy, we hate weighing ourselves, because we know it's never good news. But if we never step on that scale, we can trick ourselves into thinking we're smaller than we really are. My drivers' license has said "285" since I got it. It has never been close.

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/4957/licenseie2.jpg

(I know, it's blurry as [censored]. My scanner's on the fritz, so these are all pictures of pictures.)

That's the closest picture I have of me to my maximum weight, and that was 3½ weeks and probably 15 pounds into the diet. My cheeks are so fat that I look like I'm pushing them against glass.

I have no other pictures of me at the apex of my fatness because I'm almost as afraid of cameras as I am of scales. I know I'm a raging fatass, I don't need my girthy blubber immortalized forever on film or in digital rendering. But here are a couple I have handy: my mom gave them to me so I could magnet them to my refrigerator in case I feel like falling off the wagon.

http://img508.imageshack.us/img508/4954/fatass2hu5.jpg

Me, in October 2002, taking a pull on the giant slot machine in the Excalibur in Las Vegas. (I lost.)



http://img401.imageshack.us/img401/3414/fatasspc2.jpg

This is from February? 2004, at a local establishment that serves a 1½ lb. hamburger for $7.99. When I show people these pictures, my joke is that I was so fat that I needed EVERYTHING to be supersized: that's my supersized burger, and above is my supersized slot machine.



Now, some more recent pictures. I still don't like having my picture taken, but these look a lot better:

http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/6222/justmemk8.jpg

At my cousin's wedding in May 2006. (This was outside the reception hall, and I was already working on a pretty good buzz, hence why I was looking somewhere else.)


http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/869/larry3qq5.jpg

Halloween 2006. I was Larry The Cable Guy, though it's surprising how many people thought I was a lumberjack (lol), or a Canadian (LOLOLOLOL), or Bob The Builder (wtf?).


http://img515.imageshack.us/img515/2...sfatassww4.jpg

And this is me this morning. (I have no idea how to pose for these shots. And yes, my mirror is filthy. I Windexed it just before taking this picture, so I'm not sure what all that [censored] is.)

This is all wonderful, but I still don't know how much I weigh. I didn't weigh myself when I started the diet, because I would have probably forgone the Atkins Diet in favor of the Smith & Wesson Diet, in which I eat a bullet. And I didn't weigh myself at regular intervals during the diet because I didn't want to get discouraged if I go through a couple-week stretch without losing any weight. Occasional "plateaus" are normal for dieters, but they've caused me to go off diets before.

I think I'm ready for the truth today. While I step on the scale, here's some bonus NSFW for those of you who want to see someone who's both thin and attractive: Allison Stokke. Slideshow. Vaulting, then interviewed. News Report (low volume, turn it up, and I swear to God it's not a rickroll.)

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Good job dude, but next time, weigh then post.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

And, the survey says . . . 297.4 pounds. Holy [censored][/i]! That's not that far off from my license.

Let's do some arithmetic. If I lost one pound a week, which is pretty standard, that's 1/7 of a pound per day, so for two years that'd be 730/7 or about 104 pounds, putting me at just over 400 when I started. That's too low. The last time I was on a scale before today was October 2001, and I was 396 then, and I know I gained weight over the next few years. Running the same numbers for 1¼, 1½ and 1¾ pounds per week puts me at a starting weight of 428, 454, and 480. I think splitting the difference is about right.

I think I'll have the biggest [censored] steak I can find for dinner tonight.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

YAAY love all th epix!

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

good work man, congrats, now keep it up

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Do you exercise as well at all, or is it just atkins?

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

awesome, congrats

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Niiiice. I love the picture in the suit because it fits you so very poorly after losing that weight.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Isn't it weird how our mental images of posters never fit the bill? Actually I suppose that that isn't weird at all.

Anyway, in the first couple of pictures you look really fecking fat dude. But in the lumberjack ... erm ... Bob the Builder photo you look good. You look like a big guy, but you don't look like a big fat guy.

So keep it up and well done.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Do you exercise as well at all, or is it just atkins?

[/ QUOTE ]
Not much exercise. I do some physical activity for my job, and I work long and sometimes odd hours. I also don't live in the nicest neighborhood and don't feel like packing heat in order to go out jogging in the morning.

These are dumb excuses, and I do need to get up off my lazy ass and do it, but that's not factored into the results thus far.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Dude 50 more pounds and you can buy a rowing machine and not have to leave the house.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]

Anyway, in the first couple of pictures you look really fecking fat dude. But in the lumberjack ... erm ... Bob the Builder photo you look good. You look like a big guy, but you don't look like a big fat guy.

So keep it up and well done.

[/ QUOTE ]
QFT

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Dude 50 more pounds and you can buy a rowing machine and not have to leave the house.

[/ QUOTE ]
Is it too late to get on the bisonbison gravy train for fatties so I can seed the fund for the new rowing machine? [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

keep going!

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
keep going!

[/ QUOTE ]

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Gratz man, great job!!!!!

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Congrats man, keep it up, you can do it.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Nice work. You're a good-looking guy and should be getting laid left and right if you drop another fitty or so. Or maybe you already are--as a skinny guy, I don't know what the ass market is like for you husky gents.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

nice job bro

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Nicely done, bro. How tall are you? I must say, you don't look 300 lbs to me. You look thinner than that. Are you just pretty tall, then?

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Nice work. You're a good-looking guy and should be getting laid left and right if you drop another fitty or so. Or maybe you already are--as a skinny guy, I don't know what the ass market is like for you husky gents.

[/ QUOTE ]
Let's just say it's a niche market. Some women like guys with a little, er, upholstery. Sometimes I have to work a little harder, which is a bummer because I'm just now getting some game.

[ QUOTE ]
Nicely done, bro. How tall are you? I must say, you don't look 300 lbs to me. You look thinner than that. Are you just pretty tall, then?

[/ QUOTE ]
I'm 6'2". I have broad shoulders and a barrel chest, so I'm never going to weigh 180. But there's a really big frame to hang a lot of blubber on. I was an offensive lineman in high school.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

You inspired me to get my fat ass to the gym today for the first time in 6+ months.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
You inspired me to get my fat ass to the gym today for the first time in 6+ months.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeeeeeeeeah.....

And how did that work out for you, P? [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
You inspired me to get my fat ass to the gym today for the first time in 6+ months.

[/ QUOTE ]

yeeeeeeeeah.....

And how did that work out for you, P? [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]
I am so [censored] sore today. grr

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Grats Marchron!

Hey, you look skinnier in your lumberjack outfit than you do now. Have you been cycling in and out of weight loss periods a lot?

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Nice job, dude!

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Grats Marchron!

Hey, you look skinnier in your lumberjack outfit than you do now. Have you been cycling in and out of weight loss periods a lot?

[/ QUOTE ]
I was wondering that myself. I think it's a picture effect. In the LTCG costume picture, I was 1) farther away, 2) wearing a darker and patterned shirt, 3) sporting a goatee, or at least all of the weak-ass, makes-me-look-like-a-gay-French-guy goatee I could muster, and 4) at a slight angle instead of facing front. All of these contribute to looking slimmer.

Even though the rate of weight loss has been decreasing, which is natural on any diet, I shouldn't be fluctuating up and down. Of course, now that I'm not afraid to step on the scale, I can better gauge whether or not I am.

But I'm definitely thinner than I was eight months ago: both of the shirts I'm wearing are 3XLs, but the flannel is fairly snug while the T-shirt in yesterday's pic is hanging off me - look at the sleeve in my camera-holding hand. Yeah, not all shirts are sized the same way, but T-shirts didn't look that way on me last October.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

wear the goatee at any occassion where it will be tolerated. looks better on you than cleanshaven does.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Wow great job Marchron.

I'm a fatass myself (6'1" 250). Like you I know if I ever get down to 180 it's probably teh canser. I weighed 230 with a 32" waist as a middle linebacker in HS. Set reasonable goals for yourself and it'll be easier. My issue is mainly inactivity. When I exercise regularly (which I haven't in some time) my body responds pretty quickly. Find what works for you and stick with it.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Nice job, but I hope you realize how atkins works and that if you don't get your ass into gym right about now AND start a balanced carb diet, you will regain everything at much higher rate than you were loosing it?

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Good job, march. Keep it up - not for women, not for what other people think, but for you.

I need to get my fat behind going as well (6'0", 258). The good news is that my son just entered junior high and we encouraged him to join the cross-country team so he could get some exercise, learn something about motivation and discipline and pushing himself, and to hang and have fun with his best bud. That in turn means I need to start doing some running with the boy.

I know I'll never hit my lowest college weight of 178 again but it sure seems like something in the 200-220 range would be good to shoot for. I know I'd look and feel better in that weight range.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Great job.

When you go shopping for a new wardrobe... that tie should be the first to go.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

"Nice job, but I hope you realize how atkins works and that if you don't get your ass into gym right about now AND start a balanced carb diet, you will regain everything at much higher rate than you were loosing it?"

Both of the above are part of the actual atkins diet, or atkin's 'lifestyle.' Many people have the misconception that no carbs ever = atkin's, which really isn't the case.

OP,

Grats on the success and progress, and keep up the good work. Truer words couldn't be said about the realities of being fat. A comedian I can't think of the name of once said something along the lines of "Yeah, all the fat people I know say they would do anything not to be fat... Except eat less, get some excercise once in awhile, stop gorging on sweets, etc." As a fatass realist, I agree with him, but there is definitely another variable that is hard to describe, outside of pure weakness really. It's especially bad when you do realize that you don't want to be weighed, have a picture taken of you, be seen in a gym or swimming pool, etc.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Do you exercise as well at all, or is it just atkins?

[/ QUOTE ]
Not much exercise. I do some physical activity for my job, and I work long and sometimes odd hours. I also don't live in the nicest neighborhood and don't feel like packing heat in order to go out jogging in the morning.

These are dumb excuses, and I do need to get up off my lazy ass and do it, but that's not factored into the results thus far.

[/ QUOTE ]

Great job, man.

But listen--you HAVE to do some sort of physical activity. Now, all of these people telling you to go to the gym mean well, but there are some folks (and you might be one) who simply are NOT going to do that.

So just do 15 minutes every morning at home. Just any damn thing--running in place while you watch the news...hell, even just STRETCHING will help at first.

The reason to do this is not just weight maintenance. It's endorphins, and their release. You will feel better all day long. PLUS you will get your metabolism started, which is also important.

Just a little movement, a little aerobic exercise at first. You can think about the gym later.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Jesus man you disgust me. What kind of a slob wears an American flag tie to a wedding? Sickening.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Oh wow, jogging regularly would work wonders for what it's worth. It's not much fun, but buy an MP3 player and just start out slow, you wont regret it.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

[ QUOTE ]
Jesus man you disgust me. What kind of a slob wears an American flag tie to a wedding? Sickening.

[/ QUOTE ]
It's only because I respect OOT enough not to drag Politics-forum stuff into this that I'll just say you have to know me and my cousin and we'll leave it at that. It's not part of my normal wedding attire.


As for the goatee, I know I look better with facial hair than without, but I look ridiculous with a goatee.

Thanks for bumping, and yes I do need to start exercising.

Re: My fat ass gets on a scale (Live TR + bonus NSFW)
 

Congratulations! Grow your hair back out though, it looks good in the wedding pic. Plus it should make your head look a bit smaller. (I guess?)

Congrats on the downsizing. Keep us posted! ALso, PM GambleGamble, y'all two can inspire eachother. I think he went 6'4" 390 at one point over a year ago.