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-   -   ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=173628)

dangerous_badman 07-29-2006 05:22 AM

ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
So anyway I tried to move to no limit and ran really bad at 100NL

By the time I have lost ~23 buyins I decide [censored] it no limit clearly is not for me, I am going back to FRIENDLY FIXED LIMIT HOLDEM where the pain of losing is like the pain of a slow suffocation and more agreeable than the brutal no-limit accost-you-in-an-alleyway-and-stab-you-in-the-face pain

But WAIT!!! Everyone is posting in TEH BBV about making $$$CRAZY STACKS PHU$$$ playing the new fangled UNLIMITED HOLDEM

so i decide I WILL NOT BE DISHEARTENED. i am going to TAKE ANOTHER SHOT AT LEARNING NL and I AM GOING TO START AT [censored] 50NL AND [censored] PROVE TO MYSELF ONCE AND FOR ALL THAT AT THE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY LEAST< I CAN AT LEAST BEAT [censored] BABY STAKES NLHE

tONIGHT WAS THE NIGHT OF MY TRIUMPHANT RETURN

HERE ARE THE FIRST THREE HANDS I SHOW DOWN


STUPID RIGGED No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
6 players

Pre-flop: (6 players) LOSER is CO with A[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] A[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]
UTG folds, <font color="#cc0000">UTG+1 raises to $2</font>, <font color="#cc0000">LOSER raises to $6.5</font>, Button folds, <font color="#cc0000">SB raises to $18</font>, 2 folds, <font color="#cc0000">LOSER raises all-in $49.25</font>, <font color="#cc0000">SB calls all-in $17.45</font>.
Uncalled bets: $13.8 returned to LOSER.

Flop: T[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 6[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] T[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] ($73.4, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $73.4)

Turn: Q[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] ($73.4, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $73.4)

River: J[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] ($73.4, 0 player + 2 all-in - Main pot: $73.4)

Results:
Final pot: $73.4
LOSER showed Ac As</font>
SB showed Jc Jd</font>

__________


STUPID RIGGED No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
5 players

Pre-flop: (5 players) LOSER is BB with A[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] K[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]
UTG calls, 2 folds, SB calls, <font color="#cc0000">LOSER raises to $2</font>, UTG calls, SB calls.

Flop: T[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 3[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] A[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] ($6, 3 players)
SB checks, <font color="#cc0000">LOSER bets $6</font>, UTG calls, SB folds.

Turn: 7[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] ($18, 2 players)
LOSER checks, <font color="#cc0000">UTG bets $14.9</font>, <font color="#cc0000">LOSER raises all-in $42</font>, UTG calls.

River: 4[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] ($102, 1 player + 1 all-in - Main pot: $102)

Results:
Final pot: $102
UTG showed Ah 4h</font>
LOSER showed Ad Kc</font>

__________


STUPID RIGGED No Limit Holdem Ring game
Blinds: $0.25/$0.50
6 players

Pre-flop: (6 players) LOSER is Button with 6[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 6[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]
UTG folds, UTG+1 calls, <font color="#cc0000">CO raises to $2</font>, LOSER calls, 2 folds, UTG+1 calls.

Flop: 9[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 2[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 6[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] ($6.75, 3 players)
UTG+1 checks, <font color="#cc0000">CO bets $4</font>, LOSER calls, UTG+1 calls.

Turn: 3[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] ($18.75, 3 players)
<font color="#cc0000">UTG+1 bets $18.75</font>, <font color="#cc0000">CO calls all-in $4.75</font>, <font color="#cc0000">LOSER raises all-in $50.05</font>, <font color="#cc0000">UTG+1 calls all-in $29.35</font>.
Uncalled bets: $1.95 returned to LOSER.

River: 8[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] ($119.7, 0 player + 3 all-in - Main pot: $33, Sidepot 1: $86.7)

Results:
Final pot: $119.7
LOSER showed 6s 6d</font>
UTG+1 showed 7c 5c</font>
CO showed 4d Td</font>


[censored] YOU NO LIMIT
[censored] YOU NO LIMIT
[censored] YOU NO LIMIT
[censored] YOU NO LIMIT
[censored] YOU NO LIMIT
[censored] YOU NO LIMIT
[censored] YOU NO LIMIT
[censored] YOU NO LIMIT
[censored] YOU NO LIMIT


I SWAEAR TO UFCKING ELECTRICAL JESUS I AM NEVER EVER PLAYING THIS CUNTING sTUPID GAME AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE
I

I HATE YOU NO LIMIT AND I HOPE YOUR HOUSE CATCHES FIRE WHILE YOU ARE ASLEEP


/

inferno 07-29-2006 06:09 AM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
ha

smartalecc5 07-29-2006 06:57 AM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
BRutal. fun read

Chomp 07-29-2006 07:15 AM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
LMFAO.

Brutal stuff dude - bad luck.

edge 07-29-2006 07:35 AM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
good post

testaaja 07-29-2006 10:52 AM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
[censored] limit. This is why you play nl.

Niwa 07-29-2006 10:53 AM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
[ QUOTE ]
good post

[/ QUOTE ]

fyodor 07-29-2006 11:32 AM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
Please don't give up. I want to read a follow up.

Kala1928 07-29-2006 11:47 AM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
Did that 23-buyin-downswing involve any tilting?

iSTRONG 07-29-2006 11:56 AM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
Maybe my tutorial can teach you how not to suck at NL cash games.

Debaser 07-29-2006 12:48 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
[ QUOTE ]
I SWAEAR TO UFCKING ELECTRICAL JESUS I AM NEVER EVER PLAYING THIS CUNTING sTUPID GAME AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE
I

I HATE YOU NO LIMIT AND I HOPE YOUR HOUSE CATCHES FIRE WHILE YOU ARE ASLEEP

[/ QUOTE ]

AAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!! [censored] quality! [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

AlwaysAir 07-29-2006 01:02 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
lol i love the pool &lt;3

stealyourface 07-29-2006 02:01 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
hahahahahahhaha

FULL RAKE 07-29-2006 02:14 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
Electrical Jesus?

StupidAcesSigh 07-29-2006 02:34 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
BEST
POLL

EVER

wiseheart 07-29-2006 03:09 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
http://img126.imageshack.us/img126/8127/ebcha6.jpg

Uppercut 07-29-2006 03:21 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
Please start recording your NL sessions and then post them here. If your verbal skills match your written skills, they will be gold, baby!

Chomp 07-29-2006 03:27 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
[ QUOTE ]
BEST
POLL

EVER

[/ QUOTE ]


Every time I look at the poll it just gets funnier.

Claunchy 07-29-2006 03:30 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
This just might be the best BBV post ever.

FULL RAKE 07-29-2006 03:42 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
[ QUOTE ]

Every time I look at the poll it just gets funnier.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, this is the true spirit of BBV.

shmoosh 07-29-2006 04:21 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
[ QUOTE ]
BEST
POLL

EVER

[/ QUOTE ]

CCx 07-29-2006 04:25 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
[ QUOTE ]
This just might be the best BBV post ever.

[/ QUOTE ]

it's pretty high up on the list, thats for sure

buscali20 07-29-2006 04:30 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
LOllllllllllllllll

Chomp 07-29-2006 09:27 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
I'll bump up this work of genius in case anyone missed it.

And I nominate for the greatest poll in the history of the internets.

kyleb 07-29-2006 09:37 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
[ QUOTE ]

I SWAEAR TO UFCKING ELECTRICAL JESUS I AM NEVER EVER PLAYING THIS CUNTING sTUPID GAME AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE
I

[/ QUOTE ]

Between this and the poll, this is one of my favorite posts ever.

billygrippo 07-29-2006 09:45 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
this is POTY and 'dangerous_badman' is the best screen name on the inanaet

wall_st 07-29-2006 10:02 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
I voted for bastard, im not sure if that is the right answer though.

Badgerpoo 07-30-2006 12:49 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
You seem to making the crucial error of getting it in with the best of it, only to be rivered by a dominated hand. Yuo need to work it the opposite way round on riverstars.

Timmy82 07-30-2006 01:05 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
This is hilarious. Sorry it had to happen to you, OP. These are the kinds of hands that make me break stuff.

ursine cotcher 07-30-2006 02:12 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
Limidonk.

TurdFerguson 08-01-2006 06:32 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
Bump for extreme hilarity, both the text (e.g. "sweet electrical jesus") and poll.

thedustbustr 08-01-2006 07:49 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
wow how did i miss this gem

J-Mac 08-01-2006 07:59 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
[ QUOTE ]
Limidonk.

[/ QUOTE ]

I love that your first post is a BBV catchphrase injoke. I predict good things in the future.

Matt1975 08-02-2006 01:52 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
bump

smilingbill 08-02-2006 02:21 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
hahaha brilliant

McBusto 08-02-2006 02:45 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
Move up to where they will respect your raises

Superfluous Man 08-02-2006 02:46 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
[censored] ME TO TEARS!

Butso 08-02-2006 03:22 PM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
http://orlyowl.com/haha.jpg

dboy23 08-03-2006 12:01 AM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
i love the electrical jesus quote. Pure gold.

diebitter 08-04-2006 08:15 AM

Re: ASBATDR DBASTADR FUYOU UFCKING BAStARDS
 
they're all 48/52, ain't they?


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