Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

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Ive been trying to get a standup routine written, and I know there is a joke in this somewhere, and that is a stupid one, but I cant figure out how to make it funny.

You just need to establish the opportunity to use the bit. Try this:

"So, open-mic night, you know. Pretty crazy in here. You guys having a good time? Yeah. It's good. Last time I was up here was, uh, 1992, but I think the act is finally coming together.

Let's see. Election coming up, huh? You guys following this whole Gennifer Flowers thing? I think those petals been plucked. Arkansas is "The Natural State", but I doubt her carpets match her drapes.

No, don't get me wrong, I think Bill Clinton's got a real shot. He's looking for a slogan to punch up his campaign, something better than "that guy from Arkansas." So: "No new taxes, and no fat chicks". Hey, you too lady.

Anyhow, you know what makes me go Hmmm? In Mexico, C&C music factor is like yes and yes music factory, cause their word for yes is pretty much our third letter of the alphabet. This is part of what makes bilingual education such an enormous hurdle for today's Hispanic youth."

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wtf you just wrote that for this post? that was awesome.

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Ya, I thought so too. I was going to steal it, but then I realized in 92, I was 10.

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

have you ever done standup before?

No, and would be absolutely terrified. Best of luck dude.

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

Knock knock

Who's there?

Interupting pirate

Interupting pira-?

ARGGGGH!

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

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Knock knock

Who's there?

Interupting pirate

Interupting pira-?

ARGGGGH!

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There's a whole host of them: Interrupting Cow, Interrupting Sheep, Interrupting Retard, et cetera.

Personally, I like to do a bunch in a row, then Interrupting Mime. Unfortunately, that's more of a visual joke.

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

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Why did the kid fall of the swing?






Cause he had no arms.

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Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

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why couldn't helen keller drive?

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I think this might be one of my all-time favorite jokes...

<font color="white">'Cuz she's a woman. </font>

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[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] hellen keller jokes

why couldn't helen keller masturbate with two hands?

<font color="white">she had to use one to moan</font>

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

that's my favorite helen keller joke ever

here's my new favorite nerd joke:

why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

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here's my new favorite nerd joke:

why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

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So this bar walks into a physicist...whoops, wrong frame of reference.

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

What do you get when u mix Elton John with a Saber-tooth tiger?


I dno, but keep it away from my ass.

Re: Post a stupid, yet funny, joke
 

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"