Two Plus Two Newer Archives - BBV: Untilt Me for $$$

Gullanians Guide on Anti Tilt

http://www.scottish-enterprise.com/it/ladyscientist.jpg

This is a personalised guide for ImsaKidd, on how to stop tilting.

This guide will tackle the individual problems raised by ImsaKidd's roomate, as listed in the original posting.

THE PROBLEMS

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Problem A: Watches Rachel Ray
Rachel Ray is a daytime TV program. She looks pretty hot, so maybe as a friendship exercise you should try and find something about Rachel Ray that you like and you have in common. I recommend boobies. Try masturbating to pictures of her, then maybe your love of her will grow and you will accept your roomates watching of her program. If this fails, make up something about her that will put him off her. For example, photoshop a picture of her without makeup and and pretend you found it in the new scientist. He will then be disgusted at this. I have provided a picture for you to use:

http://69.24.73.172/f1.jpg

Also in the unlikely event this fails, everytime he watches the program, negativly reinforce him. For example, tickle his leg everytime he watches the channel to bring back old memories of sexual abuse and every time he turns it on and wont be able to watch it anymore.

Problem B: Watches Pokemon
http://www.turnoffyourtv.com/hammerTV.gif

Problem C: Practices his German aloud for about 2 hours/day, usually repeating the same phrase 4-5 times

Pretend someone in your family history died in the hands of Germans in WWII. Try and cry everytime he starts talking german, and he will feel guilty and do his language exercises elsewhere. Ahsalom Jehoichin is a name you can assign to your false relative.

Problem D: Laughs uncontrollably at random Anime movies (until 3 AM)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/ni/noose.jpg

Problem E: Constantly rips ass in the room, not even the funny kind, just the disgusting ones that sound like someone [censored] their pants.
Suggest a healthier diet, perhaps with more fruit in it to help take the odour away from the offending gas. Failing this, give him a lot of laxatives, next time he farts he will [censored] himself so hard and he will never endure the embarasment ever again. Make sure you humiliate him to the maximum as well to ensure it's a life changing event for him.

Problem F: Snores (I have to sleep with earplugs)

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Lol seriously there is actually a small injection you can get at the doctores to permamently stop snoring, ask your doctor and offer to pay him for it. Tell him it bothers you. If this doesn't work, suggest he stops breathing.

Bibliography
Monkey Puzzle - External Link
Night Monkey, Day Monkey - External Link
Monkey and Me - External Link
Sock Monkeys - External Link