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-   -   What is the best sex you've ever had? (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=405034)

slim 05-17-2007 12:51 PM

Re: What is the best sex you\'ve ever had?
 
[ QUOTE ]
First time I had sex.

Met a girl in a hotel bar (yes, I was old enough to drink the first time I got laid--I was pretty goofy up until then), went up to her room. Blew my load in about five seconds. She was pretty disappointed.

Five minutes later, I was ready for Round Two. She was no longer disappointed after that.

Rounds Three, Four, Five, and Six, all between "the time the bar closed" and "sunrise", were like a porn montage. Every position you ever spent your life wondering about. It was like a test drive for me, I was trying everything I could think of.

Near the end of Round Five, the headboard started rocking with the bed, slamming against the wall. I grabbed the top with one hand, so that my fingers would stay between the headboard and the wall, which silenced things. She reached up, and pulled my hand off the headboard. I guess she wanted the folks in the next room to know she was getting slammed.

I didn't see the point of stopping to discuss it, so I shrugged and said, "Ah, [censored] it."

She immediately let out her loudest moan of the night.

"You like it when I talk dirty?", I asked, surprised (what did I know?). She nodded eagerly.

"You like the way I [censored] your [censored]?" She dug her nails in, and came right there.

Armed with that knowledge, Round Six was the best sex I've ever had. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

(Round Seven, the next morning, is a personal best that still stands to this day. Now that I'm 40, I'd call that record unbreakable.)

[/ QUOTE ]

i read this story in Penthouse Forum

bellytimber 05-17-2007 01:08 PM

Re: What is the best sex you\'ve ever had?
 
[ QUOTE ]
The last time I had sex I broke her nose.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, good hustle! But how did you fit it in her nostril in the first place?

pokerbobo 05-17-2007 01:12 PM

Re: What is the best sex you\'ve ever had?
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The last time I had sex I broke her nose.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, good hustle! But how did you fit it in her nostril in the first place?

[/ QUOTE ]

lots of lube [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

mrkilla 05-17-2007 01:32 PM

Re: What is the best sex you\'ve ever had?
 
I'm waiting for one poster to post his story, I won't tell who but they know who.

MuresanForMVP 05-17-2007 02:00 PM

Re: What is the best sex you\'ve ever had?
 
[ QUOTE ]
The last time I had sex I broke her nose.

I'm serious, see undertitle.

[/ QUOTE ]

link to Kyro's mom

VoraciousReader 05-17-2007 02:03 PM

Re: What is the best sex you\'ve ever had?
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
The last time I had sex I broke her nose.

I'm serious, see undertitle.

[/ QUOTE ]

link to Kyro's mom

[/ QUOTE ]

Fact: Kyrosmother is well aware of this and many of kyro's other hijinks in the pursuit of...well...shall we call it romance?

Besides, kyro, at least you got some of your snuggle action on!

[img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

Borodog 05-17-2007 02:21 PM

Re: What is the best sex you\'ve ever had?
 
I have to say that stoned sex is the mind bomb.

Fast Food Knight 05-17-2007 02:22 PM

Re: What is the best sex you\'ve ever had?
 
[ QUOTE ]
I have to say that stoned sex is the mind bomb.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dids 05-17-2007 02:24 PM

Re: What is the best sex you\'ve ever had?
 
That sound you just heard is a bunch of posters sighing upon seeing that FFK had posted in this thread, but not added any content of her own.

Note: I clearly have too much class to be one of those posters.

oddjob 05-17-2007 02:25 PM

Re: What is the best sex you\'ve ever had?
 
[ QUOTE ]
I have to say that stoned sex is the mind bomb.

[/ QUOTE ]

especially if she's also stoned and lets you pull off the trifecta. SEX, FOOD AND TV!!!


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