Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
 

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In college I had a pretty straight-laced professor who was one day waxing about relationships and how he had been married for 25+ year (or whatever it was)

He asked rhetorically :

"Do you know how to keep your interest in the bedroom going strong after 25 years?"

I blurted out so that the whole class could hear:

"Turn the lights off?"

About 1/4 of the class laughed, even though they tried to keep it in. 1/4 of the class gasped in shock and the rest just sat there in stunned silence.

The professor paused and just went on like nothing had happened.

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I would have been in the 1/4 that laughed.... that's pretty funny.

Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
 

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I made a joke in the sports forum last year that got deleted within 20 mins.
A few days after Corey Lidle's plane crashed into that building in NYC, A-Rod was in an airplane that had some landing problems and that plane almost crashed too. I made a post saying, "Way to go A-Rod. Even Lidle was able to ante up when it counted.".

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lol

Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
 

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I was in a mixed group of guys and girls, maybe 8 people total. We were talking about good movies, and one of my guy friends said "if you have a penis, you like Gladiator."

I responded, "yeah, and I like it A LOT."

Crickets.

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I laughed.

P.S. Kipin -- your Jesus/ukulele avatar is incredible.

Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
 

Last week I was at a happy hour with 12 other people, 8 of them girls and they were talking about the Michael Devlin kidnap/rape case in St. Louis. One of the girls commented that they had added a bunch of new rape charges and she was wondering how many and my reply was, "After a certain number of rapes don't they just quit counting them?" which was met by lots of silence by the girls.

Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
 

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Also, I think classrooms are a bad place to judge whether or not a joke bombs. For instance, one of the best jokes I've ever heard would probably be considered a "bomb" based on response. A professor had missed the last class for unknown reasons and it turned out she had gone to the doctor and found out she was pregnant. The next class she put a picture of the ultrasound on the projector and my friend blurted out "That baby looks nothing like me." HI-larious, but very little laughter.

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That *is* funny, but if your professor had a sense of humor, she would have shot right back with a put-down or comeback of her own.

Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
 

I bomb a lot of jokes out of being way too crude and plenty because of being lame.

Two related to the same topic:


1. In a college class discussing birth control and it the implications that the hormone changes can have on women and sleep some girl was going off on a tangent about how "women have to take the pill, and women have to make sure of this, and women have to go get the morning after pill, etc. it's just not fair that a bunch of male scientists develop all these birth control methods that rely on the woman. they need to focus on some birth control methods that put the responsibility on the guy."

i then let out a too-loud mumble of "well i got a birth control method where men do all the work. its called pulling out." people just sat, mouths wide, like "wtf did he really just say that. I of course continue with "it's actually pretty effective, a lot more so than my previous method which involves a flight of stairs."

this one did not go over so well.



2. Female professor who is a huge feminist (says things like womankind when referring to all people or "no-woman's-land"). She is telling some (un)funny story about how she once was in a rush and put her coat on without removing the coat hanger and didn't realize it until she took her coat off when she got home at night.

Someone girl in the back calls out "Well at least if you got locked out of your car you would have been prepared!" people in the class chuckle.

Then I respond with "or if some student needed an emergency abortion!"

nobody was pleased with this comment either.

Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
 

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"When I was a kid I went out to Missouri, visiting my great grandparents. When I was there I saw a caterpillar museum, which seemed really crazy to me. I actually liked it a lot though, and I tried to go back a few years later, but it had turned into a butterfly museum."

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I actually really liked this one

Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
 

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I bomb a lot of jokes out of being way too crude and plenty because of being lame.

Two related to the same topic:


1. In a college class discussing birth control and it the implications that the hormone changes can have on women and sleep some girl was going off on a tangent about how "women have to take the pill, and women have to make sure of this, and women have to go get the morning after pill, etc. it's just not fair that a bunch of male scientists develop all these birth control methods that rely on the woman. they need to focus on some birth control methods that put the responsibility on the guy."

i then let out a too-loud mumble of "well i got a birth control method where men do all the work. its called pulling out." people just sat, mouths wide, like "wtf did he really just say that. I of course continue with "it's actually pretty effective, a lot more so than my previous method which involves a flight of stairs."

this one did not go over so well.



2. Female professor who is a huge feminist (says things like womankind when referring to all people or "no-woman's-land"). She is telling some (un)funny story about how she once was in a rush and put her coat on without removing the coat hanger and didn't realize it until she took her coat off when she got home at night.

Someone girl in the back calls out "Well at least if you got locked out of your car you would have been prepared!" people in the class chuckle.

Then I respond with "or if some student needed an emergency abortion!"

nobody was pleased with this comment either.

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we can hang out in hell...although they were predictalbe, i laughed at both [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
 

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I was in a mixed group of guys and girls, maybe 8 people total. We were talking about good movies, and one of my guy friends said "if you have a penis, you like Gladiator."

I responded, "yeah, and I like it A LOT."

Crickets.

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This is too funny, nearly just pi$$ed myself!

This guy (older than me) who takes himself waaay too seriously was telling me and a friend about an ex-girlfriend who was now in an abusive relationship with a guy who was just using her for money...He obv wanted to get back with her..

The other guy asked, 'why did she leave you and why won't she come back to you?'. For some stupid reason I interjected 'well obviously he has a much bigger kn0b!!'

He gave me the stare of death - you're right, it's not even funny on the internet [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

Re: jokes you\'ve made IRL that flopped
 

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i then let out a too-loud mumble of "well i got a birth control method where men do all the work. its called pulling out." people just sat, mouths wide, like "wtf did he really just say that. I of course continue with "it's actually pretty effective, a lot more so than my previous method which involves a flight of stairs."


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The save attempt is even better than the original joke. Great work.