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-   -   How do you open up a shy girl (http://archives1.twoplustwo.com/showthread.php?t=513220)

traz 10-01-2007 05:45 PM

Re: How do you open up a shy girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u...lbum/knife.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

excellent

punkass 10-01-2007 05:47 PM

Re: How do you open up a shy girl
 
Alcohol

SmokeyRidesAgain 10-01-2007 06:38 PM

Re: How do you open up a shy girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
http://driveinbottleshop.dk/shop/com...0047ab06ac.jpg

[/ QUOTE ]

jackflashdrive 10-01-2007 06:43 PM

Re: How do you open up a shy girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
Initially you're going to dominate the conversation. That's just the way things work unfortunately.

But once you create a vibe with her, you need to get her talking for a significant amount of your conversation (~40%).

There are three ideas that will help.

1) Allow her to qualify herself. She won't feel invested in the conversation until she actually reveals something of substance about herself. A standard line for letting her qualify herself is "so what do you have going for you besides your looks?" In your case something that could work is "wow, I thought you were such a shy, quiet thing but now you won't stop giggling. That's awesome (bring her in for a hug or high-five or reward her physically in some way)!"

2) Create a vacuum when you ask a question. There are correct and incorrect ways to ask non yes/no questions. When you ask one after you've hooked her into an interaction, let/make her answer. Ask the question and look at her expectantly. Don't take the conversational pressure off of her by continuing to talk or explain the question. If she gives a lame answer, call her out on it, re-apply conversational pressure. It's this "vacuum" of providing a topic for her and then not talking that will help get her out of her shell.

3) Foreshadow. Very early on in the interaction try to work into a story or life-view that you value women who can hold their own in two-way conversations. This is also another opportunity for her to qualify herself by adopting that role you set up.

Yugoslav

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm now looking through your previous posts.

tuq 10-01-2007 06:44 PM

Re: How do you open up a shy girl
 
Yugo totally owns these discussions. Damn I'm so bummed he couldn't join us in LA a couple of weeks ago, would have loved to see him in action.

VoraciousReader 10-01-2007 06:47 PM

Re: How do you open up a shy girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
1) Allow her to qualify herself. She won't feel invested in the conversation until she actually reveals something of substance about herself. A standard line for letting her qualify herself is "so what do you have going for you besides your looks?" In your case something that could work is "wow, I thought you were such a shy, quiet thing but now you won't stop giggling. That's awesome (bring her in for a hug or high-five or reward her physically in some way)!"

2) Create a vacuum when you ask a question. There are correct and incorrect ways to ask non yes/no questions. When you ask one after you've hooked her into an interaction, let/make her answer. Ask the question and look at her expectantly. Don't take the conversational pressure off of her by continuing to talk or explain the question. If she gives a lame answer, call her out on it, re-apply conversational pressure. It's this "vacuum" of providing a topic for her and then not talking that will help get her out of her shell.

3) Foreshadow. Very early on in the interaction try to work into a story or life-view that you value women who can hold their own in two-way conversations. This is also another opportunity for her to qualify herself by adopting that role you set up.

[/ QUOTE ]

Speaking as a woman, dating you sounds like entirely too much work.

(Returns to lurking, since OP prefers women to be seen and not heard.)

Victor 10-01-2007 07:06 PM

Re: How do you open up a shy girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
1) Allow her to qualify herself. She won't feel invested in the conversation until she actually reveals something of substance about herself. A standard line for letting her qualify herself is "so what do you have going for you besides your looks?" In your case something that could work is "wow, I thought you were such a shy, quiet thing but now you won't stop giggling. That's awesome (bring her in for a hug or high-five or reward her physically in some way)!"

2) Create a vacuum when you ask a question. There are correct and incorrect ways to ask non yes/no questions. When you ask one after you've hooked her into an interaction, let/make her answer. Ask the question and look at her expectantly. Don't take the conversational pressure off of her by continuing to talk or explain the question. If she gives a lame answer, call her out on it, re-apply conversational pressure. It's this "vacuum" of providing a topic for her and then not talking that will help get her out of her shell.

3) Foreshadow. Very early on in the interaction try to work into a story or life-view that you value women who can hold their own in two-way conversations. This is also another opportunity for her to qualify herself by adopting that role you set up.

[/ QUOTE ]

Speaking as a woman, dating you sounds like entirely too much work.

(Returns to lurking, since OP prefers women to be seen and not heard.)

[/ QUOTE ]

possibly the greatest level ever.

The Yugoslavian 10-01-2007 07:36 PM

Re: How do you open up a shy girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
1) Allow her to qualify herself. She won't feel invested in the conversation until she actually reveals something of substance about herself. A standard line for letting her qualify herself is "so what do you have going for you besides your looks?" In your case something that could work is "wow, I thought you were such a shy, quiet thing but now you won't stop giggling. That's awesome (bring her in for a hug or high-five or reward her physically in some way)!"

2) Create a vacuum when you ask a question. There are correct and incorrect ways to ask non yes/no questions. When you ask one after you've hooked her into an interaction, let/make her answer. Ask the question and look at her expectantly. Don't take the conversational pressure off of her by continuing to talk or explain the question. If she gives a lame answer, call her out on it, re-apply conversational pressure. It's this "vacuum" of providing a topic for her and then not talking that will help get her out of her shell.

3) Foreshadow. Very early on in the interaction try to work into a story or life-view that you value women who can hold their own in two-way conversations. This is also another opportunity for her to qualify herself by adopting that role you set up.

[/ QUOTE ]

Speaking as a woman, dating you sounds like entirely too much work.

(Returns to lurking, since OP prefers women to be seen and not heard.)

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't spend my time with women who are passive spectators.

Yugoslav

Awesemo 10-01-2007 07:38 PM

Re: How do you open up a shy girl
 
pretend like you're going into insulin shock

adsman 10-01-2007 08:01 PM

Re: How do you open up a shy girl
 
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
1) Allow her to qualify herself. She won't feel invested in the conversation until she actually reveals something of substance about herself. A standard line for letting her qualify herself is "so what do you have going for you besides your looks?" In your case something that could work is "wow, I thought you were such a shy, quiet thing but now you won't stop giggling. That's awesome (bring her in for a hug or high-five or reward her physically in some way)!"

2) Create a vacuum when you ask a question. There are correct and incorrect ways to ask non yes/no questions. When you ask one after you've hooked her into an interaction, let/make her answer. Ask the question and look at her expectantly. Don't take the conversational pressure off of her by continuing to talk or explain the question. If she gives a lame answer, call her out on it, re-apply conversational pressure. It's this "vacuum" of providing a topic for her and then not talking that will help get her out of her shell.

3) Foreshadow. Very early on in the interaction try to work into a story or life-view that you value women who can hold their own in two-way conversations. This is also another opportunity for her to qualify herself by adopting that role you set up.

[/ QUOTE ]

Speaking as a woman, dating you sounds like entirely too much work.

(Returns to lurking, since OP prefers women to be seen and not heard.)

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't spend my time with women who are passive spectators.

Yugoslav

[/ QUOTE ]

Your wife says hi.


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